Off-Topic The Church of ADF and the Holy Trannity -

[tomgirl4life]

ADF has always seen himself as a Christ-like figure, but now he has actually become tattoo-tranny Jesus. Observe:

ADF has legions of asspatters, his disciples. One of them, Skarrlett Krow betrays him online and triggers ADF's totally real and not made up suicide on Tuesday, 8/25.

8/25 is the first day of ADF's death.

On 8/27, the third day of ADF's death, Leslie Eclair makes a post on his Facebook praying to God for his soul, akin to Mary Magdalene going to the tomb for mourning. There is no response, as the Facebook page is empty.

Hours later ADF announces his resurrection to his asspatters, revealing to them a new method of transportation -- the kayak.

What marvelous wonders will come in the wake of this new Gospel? Discuss.

 

[Gun Barrel City Texas]

Only if he actually died...

 

[tomgirl4life]

Only if he actually died...

C'mon, he was literally murdered by the Kiwi conspirators. We're basically the Sanhedrin.

 

[Positron]

But he has a Japanese Sun Goddess headmate who went into hiding committed suicide and came back.

 

[Hyperion]

Phil took the five pizzas and two milkshakes, looked up toward heaven, and cursed cisgenders. Then, breaking the pizza into pieces, he kept ramming the pizza and milkshakes down his throat so he could self care.

And he ate it all and was satisfied; and the broken pieces which they had left over were left on the sidewalk, because Phil is a fat lazy fuck.

And lo, he then bound himself to a dumpster and scourged his hindquarters fiercely with a boat oar.

 

[cumrobbery]

i want to be like one of the cool roman guys

 

[Sczylak Madgar]

You forgot the part where he Jesus is tortured to death.

 

[Massif]

You forgot the part where he Jesus is tortured to death.

That's what we're here for though.

 

[Dr. Meme]

if that was a real religion i'd be an atheist

 

[MasterDisaster]

Don't forget the part where he dies a virgin.

 

[Sczylak Madgar]

That's what we're here for though.

Let me preface this by saying that I like the idea of torturing ADF to death

 

[Eponine]

Now all that remains is for Phil to return to his Father, Angelo which art in wherever the fuck he lives to kiss up for money. Hallowed be His name.

 

[tomgirl4life]

You forgot the part where he Jesus is tortured to death.

Exhibits A & B:

 

[Arrosoir]

Exhibits A & B:

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"Then Xhe said to Kiwis, "Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing."
Kiwis answered and said to Xher, "No thanks, I don't want to contract hepatitis."

 

[Sczylak Madgar]

Exhibits A & B:

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Okay, that's it. Someone ring Mel Gibson so he can make The Passion of the ADF.

 

[LiquidCooledGonads]

Exhibits A & B:

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View attachment 45433

Looks like a shitty kayak tattoo to me.

 

[tomgirl4life]

if that was a real religion i'd be an ADFtheist

ftfy

 

[Football Meatlong]

Waiting on the Gospel According to Kylie.

 

[Smutley]

The Lard's Prayer

Our Phil, who art in Oakland,
Mocked be thy Name.
Housing shunned.
Thy will not done in Portland,
As it is not in Philly.
Give us this day our daily lulz.
And forgive us our stalking,
As we forgive those that try and raid against us.
And lead us not into homelessness,
But deliver us pizzas.
For thine is the kingdom,

Full of trannies, and whining,

For ever and ever

Amen.

 

[VLAD]

Now after the Sabbath, toward the dawn of the second to last day of the week, Leslie Eclair and the other Asspatter went to see the tomb under the bridge.
And behold, there was a great earthquake, for the LORD awoke and shifted all his pounds in such a manner as to cause the earth to quake.
His appearance was like unto potatoes, and his True and Honest Latinx skin white as snow where it wasn't covered with terrible mistranslated tattoos.
And for fear of his stench the Kiwis trembled and became like dead men.
But the LORD said to the womyn, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Phil who was suicide baiting.
"He is here, for he has pussied out, as he does. Come, see the ratty-ass sleeping bag where he lay.
Then go quickly and tell his asspatters that he has pussied out, and behold, he is going before you to Oakland; there you will see him. See, I have told you.”
So they departed quickly from the bridge with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his asspatters.
And behold, Phil met them and said, “Check thy privilege!” And they came up and took hold of his feet and were stricken with tuberculosis.
Then Phil said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my asspatters to go to Oakland, and there they will see me.”

Adapted from Matthew 28:1-10