The Cole Smithey Thread -

NavyGuzzler

kiwifarms.net
Cole is taking aim at Star Wars:


And while I agree that the movies aren't very good, it's also sad how badly he wants to be taken seriously by the film community. Hey, Cole: I enjoy grind house trash too, but if you think your beloved "Ms. .45" is really any better than Disney's latest cash grab, you are fucking delusional.

Also, I've said it before, but the older and fatter he gets, the more he looks like Chris. Even has the same expression in some pictures.
 

ChurchOfGodBear

He's just this guy, you know?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Cole is taking aim at Star Wars:


And while I agree that the movies aren't very good, it's also sad how badly he wants to be taken seriously by the film community. Hey, Cole: I enjoy grind house trash too, but if you think your beloved "Ms. .45" is really any better than Disney's latest cash grab, you are fucking delusional.

Also, I've said it before, but the older and fatter he gets, the more he looks like Chris. Even has the same expression in some pictures.
Ironically, as much as Cole hated Bob, he would have been better off with Bob's genes. From every sample we have, Chandler genetic material outperforms Weston.
 

8777BB5

Keep Her Sexy and Straightforward
kiwifarms.net
Something I've always wondered is where did Cole go when he moved out at 17? He wouldn't be able to go to University of San Diego until the next year, the Rocking Dogs weren't yet formed so he couldn't stay with them and it couldn't have been anyone locally because I have a feeling Chris would've let slip about Cole staying with someone locally. Did he just drive out to California in his car and stay in Section 8 housing or did he know someone already there and stay with them? Or did he spend his time as a barely legal sexy buddy for some old Hollywood socialite?
 

depressedfurry

kiwifarms.net
Bob at least tried up to a point, while Barb only cared about herself and the hoard.
Bob was a below average parent, but I feel like in a normal situation he might have done better.
Barb is a narcissistic monster who definitely made everything more difficult for Bob and allowed Chris to get much much worse.
Cole might have hated Bob because he's a normal person and at least tried to do some normal parent things with Chris.
 

FightenGnome

Amateur Christorian
kiwifarms.net
Ironically, as much as Cole hated Bob, he would have been better off with Bob's genes. From every sample we have, Chandler genetic material outperforms Weston.
Meh, to be fair, I think most of Cole's problems stems from nurture rather than nature. All it takes is a bad start to life and suddenly you're entering your 30s with no useful skills whatsoever. I think having Barbara as a parent is what did him in.

Bob at least encouraged Chris to try and be creative with Sonichu and seemed to set bars for him to try to achieve. Whether it be Sonichu as an Autism mascot or to go up to Nintendo and give them a nice, firm handshake (Boomer style baby) and ask to be partners, I'd attribute the successes to Bob's pushing. If genes had anything to do with it, Chris would be inventing plastic molds.

Cole might have hated Bob because he's a normal person and at least tried to do some normal parent things with Chris.
I think Cole hated Bob because Bob was a Republican, possibly old tyme racist, and religious. Cole went to California to mature and now lives in New York. Bob is like some stereotypical hillbilly to Cole. Bob may have tried to parent Cole while he was still at home and he felt like he was better than that. I've never seen or heard of Bob being malicious except for the whole Game Place conspiracy thing.
 

AnOminous

do you see what happens
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
I've never seen or heard of Bob being malicious except for the whole Game Place conspiracy thing.
That wasn't even malicious. It was just a normie's interpretation of fucked up behavior that was incredibly weird even for the Internet. The idea there was a global conspiracy to perpetrate incredibly elaborate bullshit wasn't at all something a sane person would think. So he probably just thought all the weird shit happening was the same locals who already had a beef with Chris.
 

ChurchOfGodBear

He's just this guy, you know?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That wasn't even malicious. It was just a normie's interpretation of fucked up behavior that was incredibly weird even for the Internet. The idea there was a global conspiracy to perpetrate incredibly elaborate bullshit wasn't at all something a sane person would think. So he probably just thought all the weird shit happening was the same locals who already had a beef with Chris.
To be honest, if you found me before I discovered Chris, and tried to tell me that a giant webpage and for him would obsess over a doofus Who never sought out or wanted the attention, I would never have believed you. Bob's interpretation of those events, from his point of view, Seems reasonable.
 

Slimy Time

Rape Face #3
kiwifarms.net
Meh, I get the feeling why Bob's kids became estranged from him had a lot less to do with him and almost everything to do with Barb (and possibly Chris after he achieved internet infamy)

Barb's family explicitly hate her because of her horrible personality and backstabbing ways, so I wouldn't be surprised if Bob's kids had the same sentiments and avoided Barb at all costs, even if they still liked Bob.

The only one of Chris's siblings who we can definitely confirm as hating Bob is Cole.

Cole hates Bob, but Cole is also a notorious douchebag and mainly hates Chris out of a mix of projected hatred towards Barb and envy over the fact that Chris is a legend in internet culture (especially after PewDiePie and other mainstream e-celebs started talking about him) while he's pretty much a "literally who?" figure among anyone who isn't closely following Chris's antics.

Cole's only claims to fame or notoriety are the fact he's Chris's brother and for being the asshole hipster that gave Toy Story 3 a bad review.

We know next to nothing at all about Carol Chandler other than she has a government job somewhere, and David Chandler was already leaving the nest by the time Barb entered the picture and was likely in college and working on his professional life when Chris was a kid.

Notably, Dave Chandler did show up to Bob's funeral, so he couldn't have hated his father that much. Carol didn't show up, but she has a government job and we don't even know if she lives in the same state as the Chandlers. It may have been possible she wanted to say her goodbyes but couldn't due to distance or some other unknown factor.

Honestly, Barb is the main reason why Chris is so fucked up as a person and has no real family support to speak of.

Don't get me wrong, Bob was a shitty parent too, but his parental failings stemmed mostly a mix of from incompetence and old age while Barb was more directly malevolent and abusive.

Bob at least tried up to a point, while Barb only cared about herself and the hoard.
Outside of the trolling, notice how everything went to shit for Chris once he died? Ends up in court multiple times, troons out, house fire, constant money problems... So on and so forth.
 

DCM90

I Ate Too Much Atrazine Today
kiwifarms.net
Something I've always wondered is where did Cole go when he moved out at 17? He wouldn't be able to go to University of San Diego until the next year, the Rocking Dogs weren't yet formed so he couldn't stay with them and it couldn't have been anyone locally because I have a feeling Chris would've let slip about Cole staying with someone locally. Did he just drive out to California in his car and stay in Section 8 housing or did he know someone already there and stay with them? Or did he spend his time as a barely legal sexy buddy for some old Hollywood socialite?
he was a street punk rocker kid.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Trilby

praktica

kiwifarms.net
Something I've always wondered is where did Cole go when he moved out at 17? He wouldn't be able to go to University of San Diego until the next year, the Rocking Dogs weren't yet formed so he couldn't stay with them and it couldn't have been anyone locally because I have a feeling Chris would've let slip about Cole staying with someone locally. Did he just drive out to California in his car and stay in Section 8 housing or did he know someone already there and stay with them? Or did he spend his time as a barely legal sexy buddy for some old Hollywood socialite?
Like the Weston men do when they hit skid row, he'd have worked his hustle.
738984

With the ladies only, of course.
 

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