The Cole Smithey Thread -

ExceptionallyExceptional

Autism Incarnate
kiwifarms.net
Like the Weston men do when they hit skid row, he'd have worked his hustle.
View attachment 738984
With the ladies only, of course.
Holy shit, Chris actually looks like a normal dude there. He should have kept THAT up at least. He might be a sperg but this way he at least looks like someone who could find a girlfriend if he really tried. Granted he wouldn't be banging 10s, but he could probably fuck chicks like Lagoona Blue, which would probably be far more than he could have ever scored by being himself. They share some common interests and are both utter autists, so it could have worked. And with Chris' penchant for e-begging he could likely scrounge up enough to afford to get her a ticket over here to bang him. She might even have been able to keep him more grounded than he is now.

But no, instead he listened to assholes on the internet, ruined his sex drive with tiddy pills, never took care of himself physically or mentally and fell screaming into insanity where he once used to be gently drifting on the winds of tism.

It could have been yours, Chris. A somewhat normal life.... or as normal as you could ever have hoped for.
 

Slowinthemind

Riding the rickshaw of short buses
kiwifarms.net
Holy shit, Chris actually looks like a normal dude there. He should have kept THAT up at least. He might be a sperg but this way he at least looks like someone who could find a girlfriend if he really tried. Granted he wouldn't be banging 10s, but he could probably fuck chicks like Lagoona Blue, which would probably be far more than he could have ever scored by being himself. They share some common interests and are both utter autists, so it could have worked. And with Chris' penchant for e-begging he could likely scrounge up enough to afford to get her a ticket over here to bang him. She might even have been able to keep him more grounded than he is now.

But no, instead he listened to assholes on the internet, ruined his sex drive with tiddy pills, never took care of himself physically or mentally and fell screaming into insanity where he once used to be gently drifting on the winds of tism.

It could have been yours, Chris. A somewhat normal life.... or as normal as you could ever have hoped for.
A beating as a teenager would have sorted him out too.
 

crayolasword

kiwifarms.net

Attachments

Mesh Gear Fox

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Cole Smithey said:
I'll never forget seeing the outline of the Rockin' Dogs demo in Lou's pocket. I'm sure he listened to it at least once.
Yeah, no buddy. I'm sure it went in the garbage can as soon as he got off stage. People do that shit all the time to folks in the entertainment industry (everybody's got a script or a demo), these guys are used to it. Reed just picked it up to be polite.
 

Blue Jerkop

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Holy shit, Chris actually looks like a normal dude there. He should have kept THAT up at least. He might be a sperg but this way he at least looks like someone who could find a girlfriend if he really tried... But no, instead he listened to assholes on the internet...
Assholes on the internet are the ones that got him to dress "like a normal dude" there. Left to his own devices, before the internet really discovered him and started messing with him, he looks like this:
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Since he's always being fucked with (and because he's got the tism), I can see why he was unable to determine that he should go with a particular brand of fuckery over the others. Cole is a pretentious ass but he was able to actually get himself a life.
 

Manly-Chicken

Laughs at Tards
kiwifarms.net
Oh well, at least Cole is married and seems to have a happy life with his wife and friends, Chris will never have that.
They each have what the other wants (kind of)

Cole has a loving wife that supports him financially so he can lie around all day creating content, which is what Chris wants.

Chris has enough internet fame for strangers to support his Patreon, even though he doesn't make any content, and has people literally willing to buy his garbage off eBay just so they can own something he touched, which is what Cole wants.

Yeah, Chris's internet fame is people laughing at him for being a tard, and even though Cole makes consistent content, it's mediocre and no one watches it, but I still found it interesting.
 

Mesh Gear Fox

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That article says Sam Wilson from that went on to be a member of the Wallflowers but he isn't listed on their Wikipedia page, suggesting his involvement was less than that if anything.
Looking at the Sceneroller page for The Wallflowers, it appears as it's a different band from the one with Jakob Dylan, which was founded in LA in '89, where as the other one was founded in '82 in San Diego. Looks like there's no relationship between the two. None of the listed members for either band match the other.
 

AnOminous

do you see what happens
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Looking at the Sceneroller page for The Wallflowers, it appears as it's a different band from the one with Jakob Dylan, which was founded in LA in '89, where as the other one was founded in '82 in San Diego. Looks like there's no relationship between the two. None of the listed members for either band match the other.
It's almost deceptive to say that then because anyone seeing "the Wallflowers" is going to assume either the Jakob Dylan vehicle or the earlier UK band.
 

Slowinthemind

Riding the rickshaw of short buses
kiwifarms.net
They each have what the other wants (kind of)

Cole has a loving wife that supports him financially so he can lie around all day creating content, which is what Chris wants.

Chris has enough internet fame for strangers to support his Patreon, even though he doesn't make any content, and has people literally willing to buy his garbage off eBay just so they can own something he touched, which is what Cole wants.

Yeah, Chris's internet fame is people laughing at him for being a tard, and even though Cole makes consistent content, it's mediocre and no one watches it, but I still found it interesting.
Godbear was truly the first troll.
 

El Rodrigo

...what the fuck is the poster below me doing?
kiwifarms.net
Cole has a new website where you can book him to play Bossa Nova music:

He also has a video of him noodling away on YouTube.

> Book Cole to play at wedding
> Request "Virgin With Rage"
 

Muscle Bra

I passed high scholl bitch!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Cole has a new website where you can book him to play Bossa Nova music:
Keep scrolling down the page...

"Bossa Nova arrived via a small clique of college friends whose socialist political views transmogrified through love songs filled with complex melodic and harmonic lines juxtaposed against a clave rhythm (think Bo Didley) and simple bass lines."

"Bossa Nova represented a youthful, utopic celebration of modernity by a middle class of energetic young leftists whose music was stunted after a US-promoted coup d'état in 1964."

This guy can't do anything without bringing his politics into play, can he?
 

Second_Missing_Primarch

Hydra Dominatus!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Keep scrolling down the page...

"Bossa Nova arrived via a small clique of college friends whose socialist political views transmogrified through love songs filled with complex melodic and harmonic lines juxtaposed against a clave rhythm (think Bo Didley) and simple bass lines."

"Bossa Nova represented a youthful, utopic celebration of modernity by a middle class of energetic young leftists whose music was stunted after a US-promoted coup d'état in 1964."

This guy can't do anything without bringing his politics into play, can he?
I get the feeling that if you hire Cozy Cole to play your event for an hour, you can expect ten minutes of mediocre bossa nova in between two hours of political sperging and trash-talking whatever popular movies are currently playing, until you finally wrestle the mic away.
 

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