The Cole Smithey Thread -

El Rodrigo

Wait, what the fuck did you just say t' me?
kiwifarms.net
Cole has a new website where you can book him to play Bossa Nova music:

Anyone else think Cozy Cole sounds like the name of a rapey clown?
Damn it. I was enjoying that Coke I spat all over my monitor.

On topic, though, I'm listening to the samples he's playing on his website.
I'm no guitar expert, but why do his tunes sound like he's now learning how to play it? There are quite a few awkward pauses in the songs that break your immersion in the melodies.
 

The handsome tard

Currently targeting Bill Gates, you are welcome!
kiwifarms.net
Also, I can't be the only one who confuses Cole Smithey with Cinema Snob now and again.
Difference is, Cinema Snob is a likable guy that respects people and their beliefs (same goes for Brad Jones in general). Cole is a pretentious liberal dick in and out of character.
Edit: Now that I think about it, he fits Doug Walker's profile a bit better, both being unlikable douches in real life.
 
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PL 001

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Difference is, Cinema Snob is a likable guy that respects people and their beliefs (same goes for Brad Jones in general). Cole is a pretentious liberal dick in and out of character.
Edit: Now that I think about it, he fits Doug Walker's profile a bit better, both being unlikable douches in real life.
Eh, take it for what you will, but the general consensus is that while Doug is a gigantic sperg and on the dumb side, he's a pretty friendly guy. Cole just comes off as a completely insufferable douchebag with nothing salvageable.
 

Qi Meng Dealer

kiwifarms.net
Cole has a new website where you can book him to play Bossa Nova music:

Anyone else think Cozy Cole sounds like the name of a rapey clown?
Good on him for continuing to live off of his wife's money, I guess. It looks like this endeavor will go about as well financially as his film critic career does, i.e. not very much.
 

The handsome tard

Currently targeting Bill Gates, you are welcome!
kiwifarms.net
I wonder if he'll even attend Barb's funeral when she dies. More to the point, if such an encounter were to happen, would Cole and Chris finally reconcile?
Its extremely unlikely he would show up at her funeral, at MOST, he send a message to Chris about how he is sorry (tho not really). And even if he did, he would stay away from Chris, that Im very sure. The moment he isnt obligated to stay anymore, he would jump into his car and drive away before Chris can try to force his responsibilities onto him.
 

Wraith

Made pure again from the hardest game on earth.
kiwifarms.net
Cole has the life Chris always wanted.
He doesnt have to do anything but watch movies while leeching off his wife. Cole is what would happen if the love sign worked!:story:
And chris has the fame cole craves.
Why not combine the two and make some sort of hideous East Indian deity that poops itself physically and verbally? Four arms, two heads (one vertically above the other instead of side by side,) glistening white with flop sweat, speaking in two voices but also in unison, and completely narcissistic and self-centered. The poos will love them! We can call it, Shitva.
 

Muscle Bra

I passed high scholl bitch!
True & Honest Fan
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To my knowledge Cole has never met Chris and he really hates Barb.
We know Cole visited Casa del Chandler for Chris's 18th birthday and, IIRC, Barb and Chris might have flown to California (back in happier times) to visit Cole once.

But, yes, Cole does indeed hate Barb and is completely estranged from her. While he probably doesn't hate Chris, Cole has blocked Chris every time Chris has tried to contact him via social media and Cole will supposedly block anyone on SM who brings up the topic of CWC. So, yeah, the chances of Cole returning to Virginia for Barb's funeral and/or reconciling with Chris are pretty darn slim.
 
P

PL 001

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Cole's not going to want to be bothered with Chris, even after Barb dies. They barely know each other, haven't forged any kind of sibling bond, and the only time Chris gets into contact with him is to beg him for money.

They're both spergs, and it would be interesting to see how they'd react at her funeral however.
 

Roger Whore

Tell those colored boys we don’t need magazines.
kiwifarms.net
I feel like when the inevitable happens, Cole will stay away. As fucked up as it is, I feel like he knows if he even sends a message, he’ll somehow get roped into letting chris move in “temporarily” aka for 5 years. An interesting potential saga? Absolutely! Likelihood of happening? Who knows.
 

Francis Dollarhyde

And the woman, clothed in the sun.
kiwifarms.net
Let's be honest if you were in Cole's shoes. Would you voluntarily bring Chris into your Life?
For online fame and e-clout? Probably, it may give a bigger online following, just what Cole craves. Cole seems to think it is not worth the price however. Cannot blame him, there are speds out there that may blast his phone with cries of Julie, Idea Guys might try and get in on something, who knows. Then there is the begging for money from Chris.
I feel like when the inevitable happens, Cole will stay away. As fucked up as it is, I feel like he knows if he even sends a message, he’ll somehow get roped into letting chris move in “temporarily” aka for 5 years. An interesting potential saga? Absolutely! Likelihood of happening? Who knows.
Move in temporarily? As soon as he opens the door and Chris stands there with a moving van packed with Lego he knows what time it is. Time for a good divorce lawyer. As soon as Barb goes belly up, and the bank comes for his house, he will try and get Cole to allow him in anyway. Calling it now. Whether Cole says "okay, just for a few weeks" and is stuck with him, or says "sucks to be you now fuck off gotta go piss on her grave", who the hell knows. Chris will be all alone and maybe pull Cole's heart strings just right.