The Cole Smithey Thread -

Wraith

Made pure again from the hardest game on earth.
kiwifarms.net
Cole has the life Chris always wanted.
He doesnt have to do anything but watch movies while leeching off his wife. Cole is what would happen if the love sign worked!:story:
And chris has the fame cole craves.
Why not combine the two and make some sort of hideous East Indian deity that poops itself physically and verbally? Four arms, two heads (one vertically above the other instead of side by side,) glistening white with flop sweat, speaking in two voices but also in unison, and completely narcissistic and self-centered. The poos will love them! We can call it, Shitva.
 

Muscle Bra

I passed high scholl bitch!
True & Honest Fan
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To my knowledge Cole has never met Chris and he really hates Barb.
We know Cole visited Casa del Chandler for Chris's 18th birthday and, IIRC, Barb and Chris might have flown to California (back in happier times) to visit Cole once.

But, yes, Cole does indeed hate Barb and is completely estranged from her. While he probably doesn't hate Chris, Cole has blocked Chris every time Chris has tried to contact him via social media and Cole will supposedly block anyone on SM who brings up the topic of CWC. So, yeah, the chances of Cole returning to Virginia for Barb's funeral and/or reconciling with Chris are pretty darn slim.
 
P

PL 001

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Cole's not going to want to be bothered with Chris, even after Barb dies. They barely know each other, haven't forged any kind of sibling bond, and the only time Chris gets into contact with him is to beg him for money.

They're both spergs, and it would be interesting to see how they'd react at her funeral however.
 

Roger Whore

Tell those colored boys we don’t need magazines.
kiwifarms.net
I feel like when the inevitable happens, Cole will stay away. As fucked up as it is, I feel like he knows if he even sends a message, he’ll somehow get roped into letting chris move in “temporarily” aka for 5 years. An interesting potential saga? Absolutely! Likelihood of happening? Who knows.
 

Francis Dollarhyde

And the woman, clothed in the sun.
kiwifarms.net
Let's be honest if you were in Cole's shoes. Would you voluntarily bring Chris into your Life?
For online fame and e-clout? Probably, it may give a bigger online following, just what Cole craves. Cole seems to think it is not worth the price however. Cannot blame him, there are speds out there that may blast his phone with cries of Julie, Idea Guys might try and get in on something, who knows. Then there is the begging for money from Chris.
I feel like when the inevitable happens, Cole will stay away. As fucked up as it is, I feel like he knows if he even sends a message, he’ll somehow get roped into letting chris move in “temporarily” aka for 5 years. An interesting potential saga? Absolutely! Likelihood of happening? Who knows.
Move in temporarily? As soon as he opens the door and Chris stands there with a moving van packed with Lego he knows what time it is. Time for a good divorce lawyer. As soon as Barb goes belly up, and the bank comes for his house, he will try and get Cole to allow him in anyway. Calling it now. Whether Cole says "okay, just for a few weeks" and is stuck with him, or says "sucks to be you now fuck off gotta go piss on her grave", who the hell knows. Chris will be all alone and maybe pull Cole's heart strings just right.
 

Second Missing Primarch

Hydra Dominatus!
True & Honest Fan
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If Cole will turn him down, perhaps Chris will have to turn to David Alan.
The Chandlers barely had any contact with David when Bob was alive. The last time Chris is known to have seen him was at Bob's funeral eight years ago. I doubt he'd feel much obligation toward Chris, or want him anywhere near his family.
 

Mason Verger

was she a great big healthy at any size person?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What Cole should do, is lean into this shit instead of pretending Chris doesn't exist. We are in a renaissance of documentary filmmaking, Cole probably has the best access to making the definitive Chris documentary, and those things are cheap as hell to produce.

Though I suppose from a narrative standpoint, he should wait end see how this third act plays out.

"And the Tribecca film festival award goes to... Cole Smithey for 'My Brother, My Sister'!"
 

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