The Cole Smithey Thread -

[taintmisbehavin]

You made me curious so I had to look this shit up, here are the smartest film critic's own words on the profound Gesamtkuntzwerk that is Final Destination 3:

"Whether conscious or not on the part of the filmmakers, the gory logic follows America’s understandable desire to rationalize the effects of such physical violence that its invisible soldiers are suffering in Afghanistan and Iraq. The Bush administration’s blatant censorship of media coverage of the wars has instigated a silent obsession for closure in America’s collective subconscious. A consequence of "embedded journalists" and a refusal to allow showing the flag-draped coffins of deceased American soldiers being returned to their home soil has left the country with a natural curiosity made morbid by censorship."

Absolute bufoon. He probably read a Roger Ebert review where he made a sensible comparison of the subject and thought he'd look real cool if he hamfistedly tried to conjecture a war metaphor from a shit film

Now you’ve triggered me! Seriously though, it was somehow worse than I remembered! I think you are 100% correct on the Ebert thing.

 

[Spergichu]

The average person from Austin, TX.

Cole is joining Rooster Teeth to make movie review videos?

 

[Meat Pickle]

I call upon the power of necromancy and r/Chrischansonichu to bring you a reference from a Cyanide and Happiness card game.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I call upon the power of necromancy and r/Chrischansonichu to bring you a reference from a Cyanide and Happiness card game.
View attachment 1747217

I actually think that's pretty clever. Only obsessive weirdos like us would have a chance of getting the reference. I hope the card gets someone to sperg out about Chris at some normie game party.

 

[naught sock account 1]

Cole seems like an interesting bloke, nice of him to send flowers...

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I call upon the power of necromancy and r/Chrischansonichu to bring you a reference from a Cyanide and Happiness card game.
View attachment 1747217

I wonder if Cole is like his mother and brother that he would chimpout at this. "It's the studio's fault they made a bad film!"

 

[naught sock account 1]

I wonder if Cole is like his mother and brother that he would chimpout at this. "It's the studio's fault they made a bad film!"

If his reviews are any indication, yes he seems vindictive...

 

[TrippinKahlua]

So who got to drink Craft Beer with the Toy Story 3 hater?

 

[Hogar Grupal]

So who got to drink Craft Beer with the Toy Story 3 hater?

I'm imagining weens taking it to the next level and showing an "interest" in Cole's reviews, having a beer with him, just to ask about how was Chris like when he was young.

 

[naught sock account 1]

https://youtube.com/user/colesmithey

https://youtube.com/user/csclassicfilms

https://youtube.com/user/JSlivocka

are these his channels?

 

[Cool Spot]

Cole Smithy seriously gives me "On Cinema at the Cinema" vibes except he's serious.

 

[GeorgeFloyd]

I'd rather drink with Chris and I mean that.

I'd rather smoke weed and play vidya games with Chris. Hopefully he's a good sport and doesn't sperg out when I whoop dat ass.

 

[Broseph]

I'm imagining weens taking it to the next level and showing an "interest" in Cole's reviews, having a beer with him, just to ask about how was Chris like when he was young.

That's literally the only reason why anyone would want to drink with him.

 

[naught sock account 1]

I'm imagining weens taking it to the next level and showing an "interest" in Cole's reviews, having a beer with him, just to ask about how was Chris like when he was young.

That's literally the only reason why anyone would want to drink with him.

with all the people who've barged in on cwcs life im shocked this hasn't happened yet...

 

[Shabobus]

Cole Smithy seriously gives me "On Cinema at the Cinema" vibes except he's serious.

He'll give Chris's post-mortem documentary five bags of popcorn and a little plastic cup of Fanta.

 

[Cash Pope]

He'll give Chris's post-mortem documentary five bags of popcorn and a little plastic cup of Fanta.

I wonder if he knows about the Geno doc. It will be interesting if anybody makes anything else significant about CWC after he dies. Geno's work has pretty much become the definitive example, but it would be interesting if something like Chris Chan vs The Internet actually came into fruition with people being interviewed and such.

 

[naught]

I would not have sex with him.

 

[Dick Pooman]

That's literally the only reason why anyone would want to drink with him.

Not that this takes away from your point, but I would love to listen to a shitfaced Cole talk about how shitty Bob and Barb were.

 

[AlmightyMagichan]

The only way he can really get any attention would be if he told old tales of the Chandler household. The one thing he absolutely does not want to do.

 

[Blarmed&Dangerous]

God, it must eat him up that out of Bob, Barb, Chris, and Cole, HE is the least popular, least famous of the bunch. You're second fiddle to a literal r.etard, Cole.