The Death and Life of Philip Burnell - i am exactly like jontron just not as talented

Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Deleted the entire first post because it's enormously outdated. All parts will be edited in here and then the thread will be bumped. Sub to the channel if you want, I do bad fanfic readings and am trying to get back to the I Am You Slave/YanDev story. Also I'm shilling my etsy if you want to buy shit from me thxs xoxo.

Part 1:


Description
i didn't spend a year on this only to fuck it up in exporting, your eyes fucked up in exporting

Shoutout to VanFriscia for making the sweet Street Fighter medley I yanked for background music, TheKingOfHateHD Archive for SOMEHOW archiving videos from his blocked channel, MrHuth Stuff for the valedictorian speech edit with music, my dog for being an impromptu therapist, and all the mentally ill motherfuckers who helped to make this happen through archiving, gif making, suggestions, or simple discussion. ♥

All clips and music used should be in the Episode 1 playlist if you want to look them up.

buy my shit- etsy.com/shop/AProfessionalAmateur
follow my shit- facebook.com/AProfessionalAmateur and pinterest.com/ProfAmateur
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Pinned Comment
ELEVEN *. NOT TEN YEARS. I FORGOT TO EDIT THAT PART. FUCK
See description for special shoutouts.
If you'd like to help edit, hmu lurkettekf@gmail.com. I'd like someone with something to show, just to prove you can actually do it. I probably can't pay you but you'll get...uh..."exposure"...? And the knowledge you helped get part 2 out in less then a year?

Here are some things I couldn't/didn't want to try editing into the video:
Rocked did a Regretting the Past on Crazy Town's The Gift of Game, where he went over each track individually and critiques them. It's a good channel, go check him out.

Some photos/clips are off center in this video. I spent ten minutes fixing the video before exporting and was sure I caught those. I don't know anymore. I'll have a "cleaner" base to work on next installment (I had to fiddle with settings mid-editing) so that shouldn't happen again.

There's a clip where Phil claims he made his Computer Science teacher cry by threatening to beat him up that I didn't include. This is, needless to say, 1000% false. He would have been arrested for battery (threats of assault). Also, why the fuck would you say that?

Sources vary on what character DSP used during Evo 2k5. One says Chun-Li, one says Vega, one says Vega/Dhalsim. No one cares but I wanted to note.

The Evo 2k9 controversy is (un?)surprisingly hard to get info on. I didn't save my source on it outside of DSP's comments, but I swear it was a big deal to the people involved.

I couldn't pin down specifically what console they used, but I'm guessing it's the PS1 port because the SF compilation that had SSFIIT for PS3 didn't come out until after the tournament and the PS1 port is the only one that had processing glitches, which I vaguely remember someone somewhere saying was part of the boycott.

I know more about Street Fighter then I ever fucking wanted to. Did you know M.Bison was intended to parody Mike Tyson? His full name is Mike Bison. The U.S. release had his name changed to Balrog, and Balrog's name changed to Vega, and Vega's name changed to some fucking thing, because they were afraid Tyson would sue. The EU release has his name changed to Vega, and Vega's to Balrog, and etc. Also something something softening throws frame invincibility Akuma is massively OP. If you like fighting games, good for you, but I have been forced to sift through a shitton of early 2000 try hard posts about how good they can punch each other in virtual reality just to see what may or may not be relevant to this video and I'm really not feeling it right now.

DSP, somewhere, claims to have been the first Let's Player (and makes gestures towards it in the MagFest video.) Slowbeef, from SomethingAwful, is traditionally given that """"honor"""", both with the first picture/text let's play and the first video let's play. My point is just that he was one of the first, but not THE first. It's a dubious achievement but there was a point in time where he took pride from it.
 
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AAA Badger

Disgusting worthless NEET
kiwifarms.net
"After maybe 45 minutes of scrolling and occasional note taking I realized I was barely two or three months into his FIRST YEAR of youtube. This approach was scrapped, for obvious reasons."

I mean, if you're feeling really autistic, you could dedicate yourself to making the Phil version of "Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History." Up to part 11 now and it's only at either 2008 or 2009. Obviously, this idiot's following isn't as large as Chris', and the it wouldn't probably feel nearly as rewarding to make, but it's still an option, if you're truly exceptional.

Anyway, I don't have any real advice to offer. Good luck on whatever you end up doing though, friend.
 

Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"After maybe 45 minutes of scrolling and occasional note taking I realized I was barely two or three months into his FIRST YEAR of youtube. This approach was scrapped, for obvious reasons."

I mean, if you're feeling really autistic, you could dedicate yourself to making the Phil version of "Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History." Up to part 11 now and it's only at either 2008 or 2009. Obviously, this idiot's following isn't as large as Chris', and the it wouldn't probably feel nearly as rewarding to make, but it's still an option, if you're truly exceptional.

Anyway, I don't have any real advice to offer. Good luck on whatever you end up doing though, friend.
i lost all my notes (computer crashed from so many tabs lol) and besides that i was unsure how low to put my standards for "noteworthy" after first video, first video game video, first playthrough, first breakout playthrough, etc. like, do i mention every video that gets around 100k views? do i bother with the fgc shit if he's mostly just posting matches with little to no context (i have no idea how important some of those early fgc shit is placement wise, whether they were just local ladder matches for shits and giggles or serious training or what)?

with chris chan, most of his stuff is IRL events with equal importance to his life; sonic contest, PVCC, heartsweet quest, house fire, banning from various stores, etc. the sonichu comic is sorta just the gateway to that. with phil though...what does he have outside of high views, detractors, "bad at video games", former pro fighting game player, failure of project 7...? most of the interesting IRLish shit is AFTER Retsu/KWO/tihydp/etc. which is what i wanted to highlight with this project, but i guess i'm not sure how to handle it regarding his actual kahntent. which is what his whole life revolves around, but it's so...uninteresting to talk about.

hmm...it might be better to approach this as more of an overall documentary and not so much of a highlights reel. idk, it's 6 am and i can't sleep, my brain is not thinking well.

i would love to see this project come to life
but your mental health is the top priority bruh so tread with ease <3
i'm already mentally ill with little to fill my time for at least the next couple weeks, and the desire to not become dsp has often pushed me to do shit my depression made it hard to do, so i feel some sort of tribute would be appropriate because i'm a sentimental shit
 

Zack the ripper

Super villain
kiwifarms.net
i'm already mentally ill with little to fill my time for at least the next couple weeks, and the desire to not become dsp has often pushed me to do shit my depression made it hard to do, so i feel some sort of tribute would be appropriate because i'm a sentimental shit
yo my man you aren't alone in this
i am very egotistical and pretty much a trainwreck and that thought definitely crossed my mind that hey ! if i were in phil's shoe i might end up just like him !
i do have friends that i pushed out
18 y.o girls that had crush on me
but then i think about how money means nothing to me
and how all that stuff that i did i did it because of my autism and not for money or a power fantasy
so i woke up
the reason i throw up all of this on your post is : you seem pretty self conscious so you can't be phil no matter how you wanted to :biggrin:
have a nice day and may everything you touch become gold!
 

Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
yo my man you aren't alone in this
i am very egotistical and pretty much a trainwreck and that thought definitely crossed my mind that hey ! if i were in phil's shoe i might end up just like him !
i do have friends that i pushed out
18 y.o girls that had crush on me
but then i think about how money means nothing to me
and how all that stuff that i did i did it because of my autism and not for money or a power fantasy
so i woke up
the reason i throw up all of this on your post is : you seem pretty self conscious so you can't be phil no matter how you wanted to :biggrin:
have a nice day and may everything you touch become gold!
aw thanks fam. you seem pretty alright too; anyone able to point out their own faults in even a semi-humorous fashion is cool in my book. my self-consciousness is partly self-deprecatory, partly my clinical depression/anxiety, partly my brain fizzing out from staying up all night. but whenever i get to my lowest point, at least i can say i haven't fucked up enough for people to make an entire sub-forum mocking me. not even a thread yet, so i'm doing good.

anyway, hope your life goes well.
 
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Dave

Pigroach
kiwifarms.net
FGC era: the real life fight with Viscant he backed out of
Mike Watson and Jaha surrounding and threatening to beat him up

Post FGC: (There is a lot here so im just going on my memory)
Project 7
John Rambo and Howard cutting ties with DSP
the chair sponsorships
Skipping Leanna's brothers wedding to play fallout 4
The machinima/laveria/curse Saga
 
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Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Okay, I organized @SoapQueen1's info into FGC and YouTube...clumps, and added the date of the mgs2 retsupurae, the TIHYDP MGS2 upload date and the Sons of Kojima YouTube creation.

Other shit I have to squish into the timeline somewhere:

Moving to condo

Firing from job

Kojima World Order

Hiring to Machinima

Project 7 (Orig/Reboot)

Hutch drama

Pandalee

Washington

Retsutalk episodes (maybe?)

Firing from Machinima

Curse hiring

Laveria Media

Twitchcon

Almighty Tevin (and brief mention of other detractors but he seems to be the single detractor who dsp talks about the most besides Fred fuchs)

Leannas brothers wedding

Parents visiting

Chair sponsorships

Patreon (proj 7, camera, marathons, twitch n chill, multiplayer, etc. Mention of failed/put off/canceled goals.)

Holiday Events (halloween, birthday, Christmas, thanksgiving, new years)

Vacation vlahgs

E3

Calling his fans lazy

THE INCIDENT

Escort saga

Kiwi Farms (thread/sub-forum)

Panda hospitalization

Tax saga

False copyright strikes

Bachelors in Finance (figured I should include since theres still speculation he's lying about that)

Anything else come to mind?
 

SoapQueen1

speed bump, failed business, retired tism wrangler
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Bachelors in Finance (figured I should include since theres still speculation he's lying about that)
I don't think he faked it. He had it on the wall in a video, where it clearly showed a Bachelor's of Science in Finance and called it "a Bachelor's of Science, which basically means business degree." I'd think if he was going to fake it he'd at least fake a business degree instead of a finance degree.
 

Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I don't think he faked it. He had it on the wall in a video, where it clearly showed a Bachelor's of Science in Finance and called it "a Bachelor's of Science, which basically means business degree." I'd think if he was going to fake it he'd at least fake a business degree instead of a finance degree.
Oh, I meant to quell the speculation, sorry. Someone got hold of the clearinghouse certificate info and posted it here, so he did graduate in finance. I wouldnt have put it past him to lie but I dont know about faking an entire diploma lol. He's not that motivated.
 

Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I think I have a good outline for the video, and as soon as these 13 playlists stop downloading (rip my internet) I'm going to start editing.

In true procrastinator fashion, I'm doing this a day before its due. I swear to god this'll be done in June tho.
 
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OneDaySon

kiwifarms.net
A pretty short summary timeline for what happened each year would be

2008: Phil starts uploading videos to Youtube, mostly partial gameplay and fighting game stuff
2009: Phil begins to upload full game playthroughs, starts to gain popularity
2010: Phil gets laid off in late 2010, decides to do Youtube full time, ends up in a partnership with Machinima
2011: Phil's moneymaking peak and popularity peak "the gravy train" as he calls it, finds a maid in late 2011
2012: Project 7, Phil's money and popularity begin to drop quite significantly, the views and money talk begins.
2013: Phil moves to direct capture and to Twitch, Phil gets Retsuprae'd, he doesn't take it well, and this spawns the first TIHYDP, he doesn't take it well either. The first usage of the term "detractors"
2014: Phil moves to Washington with his maid in an overpriced house thats too big for him, meanwhile he doesn't sell his Cahndo, this would later prove to be a big mistake for him, popularity still declining, Phil moves from Twitch to Youtube after pulling a tantrum, this loses even more viewers
2015: Phil starts a Patreon to help with the decline in money
2016: Phil experiences a bunch of false copyright strikes that kill his search rankings, in desperation, he returns to Twitch which he shit talked the entire year, and becomes a sell out, transforming himself into a type of streamer he's shit on multiple times
2017: Probably Phil's worst year personally, Leanna left him, Machinima kicked him out, he got honeydicked by a company and laughed at because of it, having to crawl back to Curse for less money. Phil spirals into depression, whining in prestreams for hours and descending into gin fuelled rants at night. His shitty year picks up at the end when he finds a new maid
2018: It looks like 2018 will be the year of descending popularity, as his top paypigs leave and his view numbers dwindle, Phil struggles to find stuff to occupy his dying audience, often barely finishing games.
 

Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Still working on this fam. Tbh I started a new job that has me working sometimes late at night and then before noon the next morning, which my shit body is not used to, I'm in a show that's going into tech week (where I'm one of like three people making sure the dozen or so younger cast members understand where they're suppose to be/say/do along with my own parts gg) and then I had some other IRL projects I promised IRL people Id do that finally had their kinks worked out to where I could push through to almost finish them. Id apologize but tbh he just keeps giving me more content lol. Everyday I hear something new, whether its him wacking at the corpses of his ex friends and family or the currently still alive and twitching roadkill of his fan base.

I have all the older videos downloaded, and been fleshing out the outline while at work (I'm just standing there waiting for people to come in). I plan to move the videos onto my phone so I can listen to them while I'm doing other shit because fucking hell I will not inject myself with pure unadulterated DSPositivity, my laptop is by power tools and I can vividly imagine myself grabbing one and drilling into my skull.

I realize I have a history of horrendous timetables and follow through, and I wouldn't normally go through all this explanation, but as I said for my YanDev dramatic readings...considering the subject matter (lolcows who are known for dropping things and minimum follow through), I feel the need to explain and say I'm aware of my issues and note I'm working on them. And with that I realize this entire paragraph is definitely possibly autistic. ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

Feel free to post additions or discussions or just tell me how dumb a leisure activity this is (again, aware, smooches)
 

Monday Michiru

The Washing of Dishes
kiwifarms.net
So, a longsuffering sweetie pie I'm in contact with was buzzing about writing his own overview of Phil since leaving Connecticut, but last I remember he retired the project. Having first stepped away after the Machinima breakup video, by the end of 2017 he was permanently cowed by the blizzard of activity that was then surrounding The King of Prediabetes. Sad!

I'll ask what became of his notes. In the meantime, I'll give you the advice to check his vlogs channel. Podcasts (ATK, HL) especially, where he gets into personal questions. Dozens of random, scene-setting little articles indicative of mindset. Did you know at one point Phil intended to sell that CT condo to his parents? I didn't either, until I watched an old stream from like 2014.

The universally derided big move is now such a boondoggle, even Phil won't wholeheartedly defend it. He botched pretty much every part of the process he had any control over, and nobody has truly laid all his bumbles out at once, despite the info being available. Best of luck!
 
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Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So, a longsuffering sweetie pie I'm in contact with was buzzing about writing his own overview of Phil since leaving Connecticut, but last I remember he retired the project. Having first stepped away after the Machinima breakup video, by the end of 2017 he was permanently cowed by the blizzard of activity that was then surrounding The King of Prediabetes. Sad!

I'll ask what became of his notes. In the meantime, I'll give you the advice to check his vlogs channel. Podcasts (ATK, HL) especially, where he gets into personal questions. Dozens of random, scene-setting little articles indicative of mindset. Did you know at one point Phil intended to sell that CT condo to his parents? I didn't either, until I watched an old stream from like 2014.

The universally derided big move is now such a boondoggle, even Phil won't wholeheartedly defend it. He botched pretty much every part of the process he had any control over, and nobody has truly laid all his bumbles out at once, despite the info being available. Best of luck!
If he's up to collab on this beyond his old notes...yknow...misery loves company. Either way I'd of course credit him in whatever fashion he desired (real/user/pseudo/"Michirus Heartsweet") But I don't blame him for dropping it, or deciding "lol fuck no" to my offer. Its an infuriating rabbit hole.
 

Monday Michiru

The Washing of Dishes
kiwifarms.net
If he's up to collab on this beyond his old notes...yknow...misery loves company. Either way I'd of course credit him in whatever fashion he desired (real/user/pseudo/"Michirus Heartsweet") But I don't blame him for dropping it, or deciding "lol fuck no" to my offer. Its an infuriating rabbit hole.
He told me to go get fucked. :( But it's OK. You have me! I know stuff! I'm not (completely) jaded!
 
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