Sonichu The Death of Sonichu: A Fan Fiction

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Jun 9, 2014
Hey all,

Long time lurker, first time poster here. This is a piece I decided to write, both in an attempt to get my writer's block defeated, and try my hand at working with characters Chris has created. This will be the first part of a planned two part series.

As a side note, I wanted to post this on the DeviantArt Sonichu Fan page, but the site doesn't seem to like me at the moment. Anyhow, here you all go.

The Death of Sonichu​

The alarm went off in the upstairs bedroom. Rosechu quickly turned over and pressed the large button atop to shut it off. The glowing red numbers told her it was 5 AM; she had to be the dutiful wife and start her day bright and early for her family. She was quick to shut the alarm off, lest she wake her sweet hubby bolt. Her day always started so early, but not her heartsweet. He needed his rest.

The True and Original Sonichu had been under so much STRESS lately. There was no more danger to slice up and zap to the extreme, and hadn’t been for some time. Now Sonichu spent his days hanging out at the Mayor’s office with his father, the True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler. CWC was 32-years-old, unemployed, single, and living with his mentally unhinged mother. His only outlet was playing Mayor, where his days mostly consisted of playing video games, Legos, and hanging out with Sonichu. After dealing with Chris for the majority of his day, Sonichu came home stressed and with a low heart level. Only Rosechu’s sweet love and care helped keep the CWCville Guardian from crashing into a slumber.

Rosechu stood from the bed, stretched, and walked to the chair by vanity, grabbing her silk housecoat and sliding it on over her nightgown. She moved to the adjoined master bathroom and washed her face. As she wiped her face and hung the hand towel back on its holder, she took a good long look at her reflection. After a quick check to make sure Sonichu still slept, she looked back to the mirror. She sighed and placed her hands on the sink for support. Her head dropped and she sighed again, this time fighting back the bank of tears welling up in her eyes.

Where had it all gone wrong? Was this really what her life had devolved to? 16 years ago, she had been just another Pokemon. She was a Raichu, in fact. She had so much more. So much of a better life then. She had a trainer, Pokemon friends, and a quaint little cabin in the woods to call home. Then that damn rainbow came from the sky and she was transformed. Since then, her life had only gone down and shown no signs of recovery. Instead of a trainer, she had to meet the demands of a demented manchild. Instead of her Pokemon friends, she now had a manchild husband and three children who were no better. Before, her days were spent training, bonding with Kel, and enjoying the Pokemon life. Now she had to be up at 5 AM, make a goddamn feast of a breakfast, and spend the day cleaning, cooking, and shopping. Then do it all again the next day. Over and over again.

Rosechu told herself to stop it. She had a job to do. She pushed away from the counter and whisped out of the bedroom. Once in the kitchen she began the process of cooking the Sonichu family’s breakfast. While they were a family of five, she had to cook enough food to feed a small army. And it had to be done twice a day, as her husband and children gorged their faces at dinner, too. The CWCville mall food court and Anne Weston Elementary cafeteria were her saving grace for lunch. With the stove preheating, Rosechu set about cracking eggs, mixing pancake batter, and setting out the dishes. There was just so much to be done for one woman.

Just as Rosechu finished setting the places, she was greeted in the kitchen. Sonichu wrapped his arms around Rosechu’s waist and hugged her from behind.

“Good morning, my sweetie bolt! How are you on this fine day?”

Rosechu cringed and tensed her shoulders, but luckily Sonichu was every bit the idiot his father was and didn’t notice. “I’m just fine, my lovey dovey. I just finished up breakfast for the children and you.”

“That’s wonderful, baby. You finish up here and I’ll go get the little tykes!”

Sonichu turned Rosechu to face him. He kissed her lips softly, but the kiss was quick and completely emotionless, much like what someone never kissed would think it should be. As Sonichu left the kitchen, Rosechu watched him go. She focused on the back of his skull, and for just a moment had the thought of how easy it would be to strike him with one of the frying pans. It could all be over so quickly. She quickly shook the thought away and went about finishing up in the kitchen.


Sonichu briskly strolled down the hall, swinging his arms back and forth, and humming a tuneless song to himself. What a day! He was in for another perfect day in the life of Sonichu. First, he would get his beloved children from their rooms, have breakfast with his amazing family, and after the kids were off to school, he could spend the day helping his father and creator in his quest to attain his own perfect life. He had done it yesterday, and now he could do it again today. The One and Only Electric Hedgehog Pokemon had the best life ever!

The first room he entered had garish pink walls adorned with rainbows and puffy clouds. The center of the room was dominated by a four poster queen bed filled with fluffed pillows and stuffed animals. A small creature laid on her back with the covers pulled up to her chin. Sonichu smiled down at his firstborn as he pulled the covers back and gently shook Cerah Rosey.

“Good morning, sweetie! It’s time to get up!”

The pink fuzzball rubbed at her eyes with her armstubs and rolled onto her side. After a moment she looked up at her father and smiled her toothless harelip grin.

“Good mowning, daddee!” The Sonichu children had never been taught the concept of an inside voice, so everything from their mouths was shrieked in twee speak. “I had a wondewful dweem! Mommee and me baked a big cake and yoo and Chwistine and Wobbie wuved it and ate it all up! YAY!”

Sonichu smiled as Cerah sat up in bed and reached up her armstubs to be picked up. Sonichu scooped the girl against his chest, spun her around once, and sat her on the floor. “Okay baby girl, head downstairs and help your mommy finish setting up while I get Christine and Robbie from their rooms.”

“Otay daddee!” The pink abomination wailed before turning on her stubfeet and waddling out of the room.

It took her nearly three minutes to reach the door and turn into the hall, so Sonichu waited patiently. Once she was gone, he briskly strolled out of her room and to the door across the hall. This room had retina burning purple walls with My Little Pony characters. A large vanity took up much of the room against the opposite wall, but most of the space was dominated by a king sized canopy bed in the center. While Cerah had pillows and animals on her bed, this bed was overrun. Sonichu had to take a moment to look for his other daughter. The faint breathing and rising and falling of her tiny chest was the giveaway.

Sonichu stood over Christine, watching his beautiful baby sleep. Her purple coat was so majestic, so gorgeous, so perfect in all ways. Even in sleep her little harelip was turned into a smile and she beamed radiance and perfection. He almost hated to wake her, but it had to be done. Sonichu gently tugged her covers down and brushed his hand over her cheek.

“Good morning, Christine. Wake up, sweetie cakes!”

The littlest Chu stirred and then opened her eyes. Her glass, soulless stare looked up at her father and she sat up quickly. Her voice was the highest and most eardrum bursting of all. “Good mowning, daddeeeee! Am I a pwetty pwetty wosey?”

It was the first thing she said to every new person she met, and she asked her family at least 500 times a day if she was the prettiest rosey. Since direct orders came down from her Grandpa Chris, everyone was obligated to positively reinforce her. Sonichu ran his hand over her head and nodded. “Of course you are, sweetie. You’re the prettiest rosey to ever be born!”

The little narcissist threw her armstubs into the air. “YAY!” She looked around the room and back to Sonichu. “Daddee, can I have my miwwow? I need to wook at myself!”

“Of course you do,” he answered. “Here ya go, baby!” Sonichu took the hand mirror from her bedside table and placed it in her little armstub. Not having any fingers never handicapped Chus in any ways. Christine immediately got lost in her own reflection and tuned the outside world out.

“Okay baby, you come with me to get Robbie and then we can all get our breakfast.” The little purple thing heard not a word, nor realized she had been picked up.

Down the hall from the girls, the last bedroom belonged to Sonichu’s pride and joy. It was immediately clear to everyone Sonichu strongly favored his son and doted on him far more than either of his daughters. Robbie Sonee’s room was proof of that. The walls were two-toned yellow and blue with brown accents, and the room itself was the size of Cerah and Christine’s combined. While the bed was a king, just like Christine’s, this room’s domineering feature was the amount of toys. Toys and video games were everywhere.

Army men, cars, trucks, and tanks. Dinosaurs, robots, ponies. Against one wall was a 50” plasma with a PS3 PS4, and Wii U. Scattered on the floor around the setup was a PS Vita, 3DS, and any number of game discs. Much of Sonichu and Rosechu’s monthly tugboats went into funding the nightmare mancave that was Robbie Sonee’s bedroom. The little fuzzbag himself was fast asleep in the bed, laying atop the covers. Sonichu was awestruck, standing in the door watching. Every few seconds when Robbie kicked his stub feet Sonichu smiled with unabashed pride.

Sonichu crossed the room quickly. He sat Christine on the floor beside the bed; not that she noticed. Sonichu sat down on the bed and rubbed his son’s face slowly. “Good morning, partner! Wake up time!”

The youngest of the Sonichu children opened his monstrous green eyes and immediately began to fuss. He kicked his stubfeet and flailed his armstubs. “Daddeeeeee! I was having da fun dweeem! I was wunnin’ fast wike yoo and fightin’ dangew! I was zappin to da extweeme! You woke me up!”

Sonichu ignored the fit and still beamed with pride at his boy. “Aw, I’m sorry, partner! But it’s time to get up and get going! Let’s go get food!”

The mere word “food” was enough to shut down Robbie’s tantrum. The boy stopped his fit right away and sat up. “Yay! Food! Wet’s go, daddeee!”

Sonichu took Robbie in one arm and began his trek downstairs. He reached the doorway before realizing he had left Christine behind. When he looked back he saw the girl staring at her reflection, stroking the tufts of fur from her cheeks, and softly speaking to herself. “Yoo are da pwettiest wittle wosey! Yoo are so shiny and pewfect!” Sonichu took her in the other arm and reached the kitchen in under a minute.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw Rosechu in her seat and Cerah placed in her highchair. He dropped Christine and Robbie in their respective highchairs by Cerah and then took his rightful place at the head of the table.

“Well family, we’re all here. Let’s dig in!”


The most appalling part of the feeding rituals for Rosechu was the way her family ate. The children all sat in their highchairs with plates of food before them. The plastic children’s plates overflowed with scrambled eggs, pancakes, and buttered toast. None of the children used utensils; they simply shoved stubfull after stubfull of the food into their mouths, occasionally stopping just long enough to slurp milk from their sippy cups. Sonichu was barely much better. While he did use a fork, he still crammed the food into his mouth and loudly smacked each and every bite.

As for Rosechu, she used a fork to eat her breakfast. While her family ate the light and fluffy eggs, thick pancakes, and crisp toast, she was resigned to a bowl of mixed fruit and a single cup of nonfat yogurt. Her family all had double chins and potbellies, but she had to be slender and slim at all times. There was never an exception to that rule for Rosechus everywhere. While her family ate like hogs around her, Rosechu delicately picked at her food and let her mind wander. It had to be today. There was no turning back. If she lost nerve now, she may never have the will to do it again.

“Sonichu, sweetie?”

The Yellow Terror looked up from his plate, chewing the last mouthful. “Yes, my heartsweet?”

“I was just thinking. I need to spend some more time with the family. Do you think the children could stay home from school today, and you can tell Father you need a personal day?”

Sonichu looked at Rosechu for what seemed a long time in his mind, but was the standard response time for everyone else. “Well my sweetie buns, the baybees can stay home today, but I don’t know about me. You know how hard Father’s life has been lately. He is just so lonesome and under all the STRESS from the tro…” he looked at his children and lowered his voice, as if the mutants could tear their attention away from food anyway. “The trolls and the homos have really been getting to him. And he STILL hasn’t found an 18-32 year-old single Boyfriend Free Girl to make into a Sweetheart From The Ground-Up. I really need to be there for him.”

Rosechu tightened her grip on the fork and her mind flashed with an image of her shoving it right into Sonichu’s eye. She ground her teeth, but found a way to speak in her usual voice. “Oh love, I know, but I need you today. We really need this time to ourselves.”

Sonichu looked at Rosechu for another long moment and then nodded his head. He would have Allison Amber pass along the message to Father that a Family Fun Day Emergency had come up and that he should build more CWCville expansions with his new Legos they had bought yesterday. It would all work out great! “Of course, my heartsweet! Father can make more Little Big Planet levels and use his new toys. We can go to McIntire Park and spend the whole day there!”

Rosechu just smiled and nodded, glad that Phase One of her plan had worked. “That sounds lovely, my Sonichu baby love. We’ll head out later this morning.”

Rosechu stood from the chair and began collecting the dishes. The children were too busy sucking down the last of their milk to notice Mama Rosechu had taken away their empty plates. The little beasts would have protested otherwise. As Rosechu ran water onto the empty silverware, she looked at Sonichu over her shoulder.

“Sweetbolt? Can you take the children back to their rooms while I clean up here? You deserve to take a well deserved nap after doing all the hard work of getting them up and eating too. I’ll come wake you when I’m done.”

Sonichu smiled with fatherly and husbandly pride as he stood from his chair. “You got it, baby!”

Cerah licked the last of the syrup from her armstubs. Christine looked at herself in the mirror, completely oblivious. Robbie pointed his armstubs all around, making pew pew sounds as he zapped imaginary danger. Sonichu easily picked up each of them and held them at an awkward, uncomfortable angle between his arms.

“Daddee, yoo huwtin’ my awm!” Cerah complained.

“I can’t see da pwetty pwetty wosey!” Christine joined in.

“No! Da jerkops can’t get zapped now!” Robbie squealed with his arms pinned.

Sonichu turned from the kitchen and headed out, speaking to himself. “Yeah, he’s a big daddy…he can take care of his children like that…”

Once they were all gone, Rosechu looked out the kitchen window into the backyard at 14 Brunchland Court. It was time to commence Phase Two.