The Emily date -

[Bgheff]

The date Emily went on with Bob is interesting. Chris says almost nothing about himself, and almost says nothing at all. he just uncomfortable chimes in at points to up-talk Bobs accomplishments. Why did Bob steal the stoplight on his sons date, was he just being the old fart rambler, conversing because he knew Chris would just fuck it up, or just enjoying himself?

Sadly, Chris is at his best making awkward attempts to enter the conversation and just goes into a death spiral as soon as he is on his own. I think everyone but Chris is glad the Pickleman came to save the day.

 

[calicojack]

I think Chris just got nervous, and Bob was helping him kick start a conversation between them. But yeah, unfortunately he did indeed steal his spotlight.

 

[cypocraphy]

Bringing your elderly Father along on your first date so he can make sure it's legit. What a life...

 

[Bgheff]

Chris: "If you like to look at the... uh... NAUGHTY stuff."

Emily: "No, I'm not into that."

Chris: "Not yet anyway."

Oh Chris, always thinking any woman that isn't into sex with you or talking about sex is just ignorant.

Chris: I mean, I guess I should keep my hands to myself and behave, right?

Emily: Yeah, you should probably do that.

Chris: I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

At least he asked before touching her up.

 

[Male]

At least he asked before touching her up.

And boy did he kept trying to touch her.

 

[Hyperion]

Bob decided he may as well talk to the nice young lady, since Chris wasn't going to say anything.

 

[Holdek]

I don't think Bob was thinking it through. He rambled on all the time. He did this with Julie on Skype too. He was supposed to have a conversation with her about her country but she barely said anything and he kind of gave a little speech about how he had lived an interesting life and supported the United Nations and that Chris is basically an ignoramus despite his best efforts at trying to teach him about the world. He talked up Robert Simmons V at church a bunch too about video games, and would sometimes have long conversations with trolls that would call up with the intention of doing some prank but would end up on the receiving end of Bob talking about his cancer or engineering or his youth and stuff.

I honestly think he just wanted someone to talk to and Chris didn't understand what Bob was talking about due to his autism and naivete and ignorance and low intelligence and craziness, and Barb just seemed constantly unpleasant in general and they hadn't slept in the same room for 20 years etc.

 

[Tomboy]

Chris: "If you like to look at the... uh... NAUGHTY stuff."

Emily: "No, I'm not into that."

Chris: "Not yet anyway."

Oh Chris, always thinking any woman that isn't into sex with you or talking about sex is just ignorant.

Chris: I mean, I guess I should keep my MANOS to myself and behave, right?

Emily: Yeah, you should probably do that.

Chris: I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

At least he asked before touching her up.

Don't remember reading this part. Holy fuck that's creepy.

 

[BigAltheGreat921]

Imagine if Barb was there...oh god that would have been crazy.

 

[Marvin]

I honestly think he just wanted someone to talk to and Chris didn't understand what Bob was talking about due to his autism and naivete and ignorance and low intelligence and craziness, and Barb just seemed constantly unpleasant in general and they hadn't slept in the same room for 20 years etc.

Yeah, this is probably it. Bob probably hadn't had someone worthwhile to talk to in years, maybe decades. If you try to have a mature, non-sperg-topic conversation with Chris, you just end up talking at him. He'll reply with "uh huh," "hmm, yeah, dat is interesting," "yeah, I agree, I am a moderate in *topic* but dat sounds reasonable to me."

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

I don't think Bob was thinking it through. He rambled on all the time. He did this with Julie on Skype too. He was supposed to have a conversation with her about her country but she barely said anything and he kind of gave a little speech about how he had lived an interesting life and supported the United Nations and that Chris is basically an ignoramus despite his best efforts at trying to teach him about the world. He talked up Robert Simmons V at church a bunch too about video games, and would sometimes have long conversations with trolls that would call up with the intention of doing some prank but would end up on the receiving end of Bob talking about his cancer or engineering or his youth and stuff.

I honestly think he just wanted someone to talk to and Chris didn't understand what Bob was talking about due to his autism and naivete and ignorance and low intelligence and craziness, and Barb just seemed constantly unpleasant in general and they hadn't slept in the same room for 20 years etc.

Wow, that's incredibly sad. People just can't live in isolation. I would've called Bob up just to ask how it was going if he was that desperately lonely for conversation.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Yeah, this is probably it. Bob probably hadn't had someone worthwhile to talk to in years, maybe decades. If you try to have a mature, non-sperg-topic conversation with Chris, you just end up talking at him. He'll reply with "uh huh," "hmm, yeah, dat is interesting," "yeah, I agree, I am a moderate in *topic* but dat sounds reasonable to me."

I can't imagine how anyone could ever have a significant, peer relationship with him, whether romantic or otherwise. He simply can't have any kind of repore with an adult. And the worst thing is, he doesn't realize it, so he'll spend the rest of his life begging for a girl to be his sweetheart without realizing that it's not happening because he literally has nothing to offer a girl. In terms of interpersonal relationships, he's more like a piece of furniture than a human being.

 

[DevilDog]

^ That's how I feel. It isn't that he's a bad or even terrible at interaction, it's that he can't interact properly period. And really that's not an impossible problem except his deep self-interest and total lack of introspection that keep him from realizing that so he can't change.

 

[Something Vague]

Let us not forget "tampon time"

 

[drmccoy]

Bob's behavior is exactly what you guys say: he was bored out of his skull. He was a pretty smart guy and Chris was not. Neither was Barb. He just had nobody to talk to. Lots of older folk are that way. Give them an opening and BAM, two hours later..

The Emily date also pretty well shows just how inept Chris is. He wanted to get all touchy-feely right away. Girls don't much like that. He just has no clue how to interact with people, does he? I suppose it plays partially into his autism and partially into his ego.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

^ That's how I feel. It isn't that he's a bad or even terrible at interaction, it's that he can't interact properly period. And really that's not an impossible problem except his deep self-interest and total lack of introspection that keep him from realizing that so he can't change.

I knew someone like this. So wrapped up in her own interests that it was literally impossible for her to communicate with other adults if the topic of conversation was anything other than her favorite TV show or what she liked to eat. She would actually get very annoyed at her friends for wanting to discuss literature, history, politics, religion, science, sex, or any of the other perfectly normal topics adults talk about. And why would she be mad? Because she didn't know anything about those topics, and didn't think she should have to learn... she simply wanted everyone around her to refrain from discussing anything she didn't know about. And as I said, her interests were limited to two topics.

For various reasons, her friends would invariably drift away after a while.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Chris: "If you like to look at the... uh... NAUGHTY stuff."

Emily: "No, I'm not into that."

Chris: "Not yet anyway."

Oh Chris, always thinking any woman that isn't into sex with you or talking about sex is just ignorant.

Chris: I mean, I guess I should keep my MANOS to myself and behave, right?

Emily: Yeah, you should probably do that.

Chris: I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

At least he asked before touching her up.

This sounds depressingly like somebody who's learned all they know about female interaction by watching porn. To Chris, the only thing standing between him and Hanky-panky is the amount of time it takes for the girl to stop pretending she doesn't want it.

 

[snowkitten91]

Chris: "If you like to look at the... uh... NAUGHTY stuff."

Emily: "No, I'm not into that."

Chris: "Not yet anyway."

Oh Chris, always thinking any woman that isn't into sex with you or talking about sex is just ignorant.

Chris: I mean, I guess I should keep my MANOS to myself and behave, right?

Emily: Yeah, you should probably do that.

Chris: I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

At least he asked before touching her up.

If Bob hadn't been there... *shudder*

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

This sounds depressingly like somebody who's learned all they know about female interaction by watching porn. To Chris, the only thing standing between him and Hanky-panky is the amount of time it takes for the girl to stop pretending she doesn't want it.

Well of course every girl wants it. I mean, he is a handsome dude - even his mother says so.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

This sounds depressingly like somebody who's learned all they know about female interaction by watching porn. To Chris, the only thing standing between him and Hanky-panky is the amount of time it takes for the girl to stop pretending she doesn't want it.

Well of course every girl wants it. I mean, he is a handsome dude - even his mother says so.

It just hit me how insanely Milhouse that justification sounds.