The Eternals - marvel is trying it again this time less humor and hit music and more unnecessary love triangles

[Thomas Arashikage]

Just watched the trailer.

It looks like Inhumans, Attempt 2.

So it is not just me that went "this is like Inhumans".

 

[God of Nothing]

So it is not just me that went "this is like Inhumans".

Inhumans, Eternals, and Deviants or whatever the fuck Thanos is. They're the progenitor races of the Marvel Universe depending on the writer. They fail and always will fail as independent titles because they make much more sense as concepts and would be absolutely broken, not Kryptonite bullshit broken but still Why Even Bother Having Other Heroes broken.

 

[Adamska]

Inhumans, Eternals, and Deviants or whatever the fuck Thanos is. They're the progenitor races of the Marvel Universe depending on the writer. They fail and always will fail as independent titles because they make much more sense as concepts and would be absolutely broken, not Kryptonite bullshit broken but still Why Even Bother Having Other Heroes broken.

Thanos was an Eternal, he just was a one in a million freak and you can basically state he's a mutant.

You could probably do a decent movie with them, but it'd probably be like the origins of Thanos or having them be allies of Thor when he fights the Celestials himself. Honestly there's so many better ideas I can come up with.

Like negotiating with Universal to make a Hulk movie where he fights a crazy Roman Emperor. No I kid you fucking not, one of the Hulk's biggest foes was Romulus Augustulus, who dubbed himself Tyrannus after enslaving some molemen that the Deviants made as slaves. That would be a fun movie.

 

[God of Nothing]

Like negotiating with Universal to make a Hulk movie where he fights a crazy Roman Emperor. No I kid you fucking not, one of the Hulk's biggest foes was Romulus Augustulus, who dubbed himself Tyrannus after enslaving some molemen that the Deviants made as slaves. That would be a fun movie.

Absolutely based.

 

[jorgoth]

I read Neil Gaiman's run on The Eternals, which in retrospect was basically Marvel trying to get an actually decent writer to introduce what they hoped would be a new line of comics, and I remember the part where Druig of Nightmares gets a dude to shoot himself. Other than that I remember basically nothing because the Eternals are boring as shit.

 

[make_it_so]

You know, when the last time Marvel did a movie on a group of literally who characters (Guardians of the Galaxy), the trailer at least made the movie look exciting and fun.

I'm not even getting that with this.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

View attachment 2200312
What is the point of giving your characters colorful costumes if your are going to make the colors so mute with the cinematography? It reminds me of the Zack Snider's color pallet in Man of Steel, it's just so ugly and boring. As if the costumes are not already a downgrade of the weird cosmic design (the only of note about the property).
View attachment 2200331

I'd rather watch a low budget Super Sentai movie than this ugly shit that somehow costs over 100 million dollars.

• The sky is clouded just like in the Eternals picture but colors are more vibrant & that makes the scene look less boring
• The heroes are heroic instead of annoying lgbtxyz goblins
• The writing is probably better
• Cheesy but way more fun than the wokist schlock
• Even the costumes look better (sure they are cheap but the TE costumes look like poop, the spend millions of dollars for that??)
• No woke actors who tell you how diverse & inclusive their shitty movie is & how many gay buttsex scenes there are and how everyone cried when they made said gay buttsex scenes
• The Sentai movie is probably shorter
• Likable characters
• The acting is a bit better
• No woke journalists writing about the movie

 

[Idiotron]

Based on the trailer, this looks like it would make $78 million worldwide if it was an original IP.

 

[Gar For Archer]

You know, when the last time Marvel did a movie on a group of literally who characters (Guardians of the Galaxy), the trailer at least made the movie look exciting and fun.

I'm not even getting that with this.

The Guardians at least all have unique character designs and silhouettes, and there’s only what, like 6 of them? That shot of the 10+ Eternals standing on the beach makes me immediately disinterested because there is literally NO WAY even half of these characters will actually be memorable. Like, just logistically speaking, it’s pretty much impossible - you just don’t have enough time.

You know how Josstice League had trouble characterizing like five characters who already had the benefit of being probably the most well-known superheroes not named Spider-Man? This movie is that, but ten times worse, because nobody gives a shit about the Eternals.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

The Guardians at least all have unique character designs and silhouettes, and there’s only what, like 6 of them? That shot of the 10+ Eternals standing on the beach makes me immediately disinterested because there is literally NO WAY even half of these characters will actually be memorable. Like, just logistically speaking, it’s pretty much impossible - you just don’t have enough time.

You know how Josstice League had trouble characterizing like five characters who already had the benefit of being probably the most well-known superheroes not named Spider-Man? This movie is that, but ten times worse, because nobody gives a shit about the Eternals.

The first Guardians movie had five, and one of those was a tree that could literally only say three words, with Guardians itself being more of a sci-fi action comedy.

It seems really, really weird for Marvel to basically just throw out the entire idea of the cinematic universe for this one movie. They could have easily built it up over multiple films, which is the entire idea of what they’ve done for the past ten years, yet they… aren’t.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

The Guardians at least all have unique character designs and silhouettes, and there’s only what, like 6 of them? That shot of the 10+ Eternals standing on the beach makes me immediately disinterested because there is literally NO WAY even half of these characters will actually be memorable.

This is Crimes of Grindelwald level of stupid.

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

I'd rather watch a low budget Super Sentai movie than this ugly shit that somehow costs over 100 million dollars.
View attachment 2202198

• The sky is clouded just like in the Eternals picture but colors are more vibrant & that makes the scene look less boring
• The heroes are heroic instead of annoying lgbtxyz goblins
• The writing is probably better
• Cheesy but way more fun than the wokist schlock
• Even the costumes look better (sure they are cheap but the TE costumes look like poop, the spend millions of dollars for that??)
• No woke actors who tell you how diverse & inclusive their shitty movie is & how many gay buttsex scenes there are and how everyone cried when they made said gay buttsex scenes
• The Sentai movie is probably shorter
• Likable characters
• The acting is a bit better
• No woke journalists writing about the movie

Hey man at least with Super Sentai movie, we can at least get low-budget giant robot fight.
At least it’s fun to watch.
I rather watch the uncensored version of Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf for three hours straight than watching Eternal.

 

[Commander X]

 

[Carlos Weston Chantor]

It's amazing how far a civilization can fall in just 30 years

 

[Celestial Being]

Why is one a midget and why is Dr. Stranges asian sidekick an eternal?

 

[The Valeyard]

Why is one a midget

Sprite is an immortal being who has the appearance of a child like the "1000 year old dragon loli" trope in anime.

why is Dr. Stranges asian sidekick an eternal?

It's not the same actor.

 

[AmarettoPie]

Sprite is an immortal being who has the appearance of a child like the "1000 year old dragon loli" trope in anime.

Welp, I'm gonna sit here and see how long it takes for the same folks that want to ban all anime because "it's all minor-coded, pedo-excusing shit" to defend their Sprite ships with the exact same reasoning of "she's actually an adult, so it's okay!"

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Why is one a midget and why is Dr. Stranges asian sidekick an eternal?

Different actor and the midget is actually a little girl. She was in the "no running!" dairy queen commercial

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

I'd rather watch a low budget Super Sentai movie than this ugly shit that somehow costs over 100 million dollars.
View attachment 2202198

• The sky is clouded just like in the Eternals picture but colors are more vibrant & that makes the scene look less boring
• The heroes are heroic instead of annoying lgbtxyz goblins
• The writing is probably better
• Cheesy but way more fun than the wokist schlock
• Even the costumes look better (sure they are cheap but the TE costumes look like poop, the spend millions of dollars for that??)
• No woke actors who tell you how diverse & inclusive their shitty movie is & how many gay buttsex scenes there are and how everyone cried when they made said gay buttsex scenes
• The Sentai movie is probably shorter
• Likable characters
• The acting is a bit better
• No woke journalists writing about the movie

Also, that green ranger is hung.

 

[blablabla]

I'd rather watch a low budget Super Sentai movie than this ugly shit that somehow costs over 100 million dollars.
View attachment 2202198

• The sky is clouded just like in the Eternals picture but colors are more vibrant & that makes the scene look less boring
• The heroes are heroic instead of annoying lgbtxyz goblins
• The writing is probably better
• Cheesy but way more fun than the wokist schlock
• Even the costumes look better (sure they are cheap but the TE costumes look like poop, the spend millions of dollars for that??)
• No woke actors who tell you how diverse & inclusive their shitty movie is & how many gay buttsex scenes there are and how everyone cried when they made said gay buttsex scenes
• The Sentai movie is probably shorter
• Likable characters
• The acting is a bit better
• No woke journalists writing about the movie

the arc where the rangers go against lord zedd who has a dragon who fucking destroy planets was badass as fuck