The Facebook leak in 1 min? -

[DykesDykesChina]

Yeah, I know I could read through it by myself, but whenever I try to comprehend a larger chunk of Chris's writing, my brain develops dangerous tardneurisms

Could anyone of you maybe sum it up in a few sentences - what are the main revelations from the FB leak, which new aspects of Chris did it bring to light, which important saga details were revealed? This would be great, thx in advance

 

[___]

he's lonely, he's paranoid of the trolls, and his mom is annoying / controlling him, still blames Synder for a lot of things.

 

[Bobby Boulders]

As TL;DR'y as I can put it....

[*] Chris' paranoia and depression are reaching an all-time high. He's still blaming Michael Snyder for all of his troubles.
[*] More and more people are starting to grow weary of the Chandler's antics, notably Chris' old church, some family friends, and even some of Chris' own confidants.
[*] Chris is spending a shit ton of his money on iPhone apps, iPods and other Apple products. A recent relic of fail is a carrying case for all his iStuff.
[*] Barb's relationship with Chris is taking a turn for the worse, as she's trying to control him. Chris is entering his teenage parental rebellion phase at 31.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

* Chris is a shitty person. He believed Borb's crap about Megan being the Queen of the Trolls. He wants her beaten up and jailed, and he wants her to give his Sailor Moon DVDs back. He wants Daniel Mimms's girlfriend killed to make Mimms suffer, because his girlfriend is his most important "possession," and if Chris can't have love, neither should Mimms. Chris wants the whole world to know that he is suffering so much that he shot himself in the head with his Transformers Megatron pistol, and demands that all of his friends find him a girlfriend who is not HEAVY- SET or mal-emotioned desperate.
* Barb is a shitty person. She rarely lets Chris out of the bug-infested house. They're now sleeping together in what used to be called "the music room."
* Anna is a shitty person. She enables all of Chris's delusions and rants at his only other frequent commenter, Kim Wilson, for allegedly being a troll. She rightly calls him out on calling women "bitches" and finding lesbians OK but gay men gross, and then she turns around and calls trolls "faggots."
... yep, lot of shitty people up in this leak.
*

 

[Julaay]

Chris whines and cries about being lonely...several times.
Chris plays with Legos.
Chris wishes death on all those he felt did him wrong like Mimms and Megan.
There is also some new TomGirl pics.

There is also other stuff, but those were the main highlights. I understand, some of Chris's writing also give me headaches.

 

[registereduser]

"Bawww, I'm lonely, fix my life for me."

 

[Seahorses]

Chris wants somebody to find him a girlfriend.

 

[Springblossom]

TROLLZ ARE EVUL, I'm lonely find me a girlfriend, stop having lives and visit my crap filled house, KILL DA JERKS, tell your friends about me ladies, I sleep in the same crap-filled room as my mother...that's basically it.

Also he wants someone to kill Mimms' girlfriend, as well as Megan Schroeder.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

BAAAAAWWWW, Megan's a bitch, BAAAAAWWWWW

That's pretty much it.

 

[drmccoy]

1.) Waaaah, I'm lonely

2.) You respond to my Facebook posts but what are you going to do to help me?

3.) The trolls were Snyder and Megan and despite people telling me they were not, I don't care. They were.

4.) My life is terrible, fix it for me. Waaahhhhh.

 

[thebonesauce]

It's much easier just to say, "WAH MICHAEL SNYDER/MEGAN/TROLLS RUINED MY LIFE I NEED A GIRLFRIEND"

That really sums it up.

 

[CatParty]

just about sums it up

 

[Hasharin]

He believed Borb's crap about Megan being the Queen of the Trolls.

And yes, Chris actually calls her like that (but Megantron is more hilarious).

Also, he knows new big boy word, empirical.

He also tried to take his own life with Megatron Pistol.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

BigBoss's sig pretty much sums up the whole 1.5 years worth of status updates:

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Michael Snyder, Game Place, Need China, I'm not gay
Not a virgin, Megan Schroeder, No Damn homos
Hit and Run charge, Tom Girl crooning, Stressful Torture, Mother Spooning
I like Yellow, Color Mellow, I have autism
God damn Mimms, 4-Chan, Trolling Jerks, More than 5 years now, we share a bed, and a hippo on my head
Hate Wallflower, not clean, think that I'm a slender teen
Court Appearance, Trolling Stupid, Sanity Goodbye

Someone should start a fire
See the Game Place burning
No more grand cash earnings
I wouldn't start the fire
Someone else should do it
So I don't go through it

SONICHU ISN'T GAY! WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY?

 

[Kindness Coin]

Also, he knows new big boy word, empirical.

And gets the definition utterly, utterly wrong. He thinks it means being anti-science or something like that.

 

[Dollars2010]

Summed up in one image:

 

[Descent]

Chris thought the poster campaign (including a hired sky writer) was real and wanted everyone to go around and take down the posters.

 

[Hasharin]

I forgot to mention he shares room with Barb and she complains when he plays violent vidya.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

Savour every word. We haven't had this much Chris content in a long time.