The General Thread -

Lurkette

Professional Depression
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Shout out to the 1st year student doctors doing their finals around now. I'm being a standardized patient for some today and man I'm so proud of you, you competent and professional motherfuckers. You're only giving me minor things to critique on so far and every reason to rate you "excellent" in every aspect fuck yeah.
 

Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net
So after a couple interviews I don't think I'm doing well, lots of very noncommittal sounds from interviewers. Constantly on the backfoot and not even really managing to fake a confident posture. Bonus points, my belt buckle just comes apart for some reason right before the second interview. Fucking reversibles, pieces of shit. So I head down to my last job to grab a new belt that isn't a piece of shit. Walk in, right away see someone I thought I was on pretty good terms with. Avoids me like the plague. OK, whatever, I know where to find what I need. Get a decent belt, head up to ring out. Stand there waiting while two cashiers squabble over who has to ring me out.

Are you fucking kidding me.

Asshole mode activate. I've had about enough of this shit today. Walk up to a register, put belt on counter. The one gives up and logs into the register, rings my purchase. Usual spiel about applying for a credit card. "No, I have one." The one who didn't step up chimes in with an "apply for another!". Turn on the venom and reply "I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER ONE." Dead silence. Transaction complete. Take my bag and head to the office to grab my second-to-last paystub. Miss Apply-For-Another mouths off. "Hey, are you allowed to be back here?". Teeth are grinding at this point. "How else would you propose I retrieve my paystubs?" (I had established IN ADVANCE that it was OK for me to do this as long as there was a manager in the office.)

"Jeez, fine."

(No seriously you stupid bitch I'm applying for jobs that probably do things like run credit checks, I don't want a hard pull on my credit you exceptional individual)
 
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Hikikomori-Yume

kiwifarms.net
Just woke up.
Dreamed I was going to a jew school because a friend (jewish in this dream and fictional, I have no human social life) invited me.
At one point I walked out of the classroom during a test and walked around the hallways.
I ran into a this kid who used to be one of my close friends during gradeschool in the fleshnet, he has this mole on his forehead (good thing he isn't a conspiracy theorist because that would have really bothered me if I had the mark on my forehead), I was like "HEYYY MAN WHAT'S UP REMEMBER ME?" and then I demoed full-immersion virtual reality for him and some stupid kids around him, then after all that I headed for the cafeteria and ended up meeting Noam Chomsky who was busy eating a cheap chicken salad sandwhich.
After all that I wound up on a beach near some kids who looked like the sadboys crew but were gay as fuck with tons of muscly gay guys everywhere and I was like "Uhh, there are some waves over there!" and they freaked out and we all went surfing.
Then I woke up because my cat jumped on me.
 

Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net
Just woke up.
Dreamed I was going to a jew school because a friend (jewish in this dream and fictional, I have no human social life) invited me.
At one point I walked out of the classroom during a test and walked around the hallways.
I ran into a this kid who used to be one of my close friends during gradeschool in the fleshnet, he has this mole on his forehead (good thing he isn't a conspiracy theorist because that would have really bothered me if I had the mark on my forehead), I was like "HEYYY MAN WHAT'S UP REMEMBER ME?" and then I demoed full-immersion virtual reality for him and some stupid kids around him, then after all that I headed for the cafeteria and ended up meeting Noam Chomsky who was busy eating a cheap chicken salad sandwhich.
After all that I wound up on a beach near some kids who looked like the sadboys crew but were gay as fuck with tons of muscly gay guys everywhere and I was like "Uhh, there are some waves over there!" and they freaked out and we all went surfing.
Then I woke up because my cat jumped on me.
I love how bonkers dreams get. Well, sometimes. The ones where I was in an abandoned, darkened warehouse and my feet were sinking into the concrete floor were not the fun kind of bonkers.
 

Hikikomori-Yume

kiwifarms.net
I love how bonkers dreams get. Well, sometimes. The ones where I was in an abandoned, darkened warehouse and my feet were sinking into the concrete floor were not the fun kind of bonkers.
Yeah.
It's so cool how my mind can come up with such unique and abstract places and scenarios and I love how I feel in my dreams, it's a sort of euphoric feeling.
Sleep is my favorite activity.
It's been sooooo long since I have had dreams though because I had been a pothead since 2012 and just recently quit for good.
In one of my recent dreams I was in a car with my obaasan, she was speeding and we ended up crashing then I walked away and started controlling the universe with my mind.
 
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Reactions: Big Nasty

Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net

I wonder what outer space truly looks like
Honestly, water is a really fucking odd duck. It's good that it is, too, because if it didn't work the way it does the planet as we know it simply couldn't exist. The simple fact that ice floats instead of sinking is much more important than people realize.
 
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Notan Alte

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbpJ5EAQvlQ
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
After examining knife laws in my area carefully I think I'm going to make a habit of carrying my good utility folder again. It's not a good fighting knife really but it's scarier than just my fists. At this point I'm banking hard on never having to use it because I really don't know how to fight with a knife.
I think Derek Savage did a pretty good movie on knife fighting :^)
 

Shiversblood

kiwifarms.net
Sally and Lilly were the two typical hard working girls working in the winery drinking wino and stuff. However they are both just now turned into vampires from yesterday. "Today we are now vampires, why are we at work now?" Sally asks. "Because it is night time and blood is simply not free" Lilly explains.

Lou, the boss, walks into the room. "Sally, Lilly, I need less chatting and more working. What the? Are you drinking alcohol?" Lou says, as he sees open wine bottles.

Sally panics, and quickly super speeds over to Lou and grabs him and bites him on the neck. He struggles a little but she drinks all of his blood, draining him dry and killing him. She throws his dead corpse onto the floor, then whipes some blood off her mouth. "That was actually a bad thing to do" Lilly explains to Sally. Sally quickly punches lily directly into the forehead. Lily jump kicks sally, knocking her back

"Dieeeeee!" A black man screams as he runs into the room and shoots Lilly three times directly into the forehead. Sally super speed runs up to the black man and rips his heart right out of his chest with his vampiric strength. He flops dead to the floor. Sally quickly eats the heart in one big bite with huge vampire fangs, then picks up black mans gun.

"Lily, you are simply injured at this time from three bulkets to your forehead, you will need fresh blood." Sally simply explains to a seemingly dead, but undead knocked out Lilly. Lilly's head begins to slowly heal from vampiric healing.

Darius is running down the hallway towards the exit, Sally fires a shot, hitting him in the back of the leg, she super speed runs up to him and grabs him then speeds him back to lily. Sally pulls out a knife and slashes Darius wrist. "Ahhh" Darius screams. Blood drips into Lilly open mouth. Lilly eyes quickly open and turn red, vampire fangs coke out she bites Darius. Drinks blood, then stops, before draining him dry. Lilly stands up, then bites his wrist

"Drink my blood it will heal you, human" Lilly explains "lilly no, we must kill him. Let me drain him.

"No. For as Darius, I shall turn him into vampire! He will be my spawn." Lilly explains.

Darius jr quickly bursts into the room with his uzi and simply begins spray bullets, Sally is hit, Lilly hit, and Darius all hit by bullets. Darius quickly dies. Darius jr runs out the room.
"Simply is Africa" Sally says, as she and Lilly crawl to their feet, then super speed out of the winery. They lost their jobs that day.!
 

edibleBulimia

Being salty
kiwifarms.net
Stupid question, but... What does it take to someone to be a lolcow? Found someone pretty autistic on DA that was also a user in here. He displays some lolcow behavior but I’m not sure. Plz help.
 

Recon

Tactical Autism Response Division
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Chase down a lead for a teller position at a CU. I easily qualify on most parts (because this is pretty basic-bitch shit unless you're a fucking convicted felon) and... they want previous teller experience.

Fucking WHY, you exceptional individuals? This is downright ENTRY-LEVEL. How many people with that much relevant experience apply for an entry-level teller position? Fucking mongs putting catch-22s in job shit, christ.
Don't vent your anger here, if at all possible.
 

Exceptional Mafioso

kiwifarms.net
I overheard two young women talking today, they were probably 14 or 15 years old. What I heard was horrifying and I'll just get to the heart of the matter.

"Oh, we're supposed to boycott CVS!" one girl said excitedly to her friend.

That ruined my day. It really sucks hearing shit like this out in public. To be so young and to already be on a path to let other people do your thinking for you. What a fucking shame. But wait, it gets worse! I looked up the hashtag for boycottcvs on twitter. There seem to have been several attempts at this for various reasons over the years. But the current reason seems to be based around the abortion laws that have been passed recently.

Specifically, the tweet I saw was from May 16 and said: "#BoycottAlabama turns out I’ve been unintentionally boycotting Alabana for years. They don’t make shit. The way to do this is to boycott health related brands / stores that are popular in Alabama. Walgreens and cvs have locations in Alabama. #Boycottwalgreens #boycottcvs"

They have locations in a state that did something I don't like so we should boycott the whole company. Also what exactly does driving down business for the largest healthcare stores/pharmacies accomplish? I just don't know, guys. I just don't know.

 

MAPK phosphatase

Cell Death Regulator
kiwifarms.net
I overheard two young women talking today, they were probably 14 or 15 years old. What I heard was horrifying and I'll just get to the heart of the matter.

"Oh, we're supposed to boycott CVS!" one girl said excitedly to her friend.

That ruined my day. It really sucks hearing shit like this out in public. To be so young and to already be on a path to let other people do your thinking for you. What a fucking shame. But wait, it gets worse! I looked up the hashtag for boycottcvs on twitter. There seem to have been several attempts at this for various reasons over the years. But the current reason seems to be based around the abortion laws that have been passed recently.

Specifically, the tweet I saw was from May 16 and said: "#BoycottAlabama turns out I’ve been unintentionally boycotting Alabana for years. They don’t make shit. The way to do this is to boycott health related brands / stores that are popular in Alabama. Walgreens and cvs have locations in Alabama. #Boycottwalgreens #boycottcvs"

They have locations in a state that did something I don't like so we should boycott the whole company. Also what exactly does driving down business for the largest healthcare stores/pharmacies accomplish? I just don't know, guys. I just don't know.

This is disheartening. Though not exactly surprising.
Also lol at saying Alabama doesn't make anything. Alabama also exports a ton of plastics, chemicals, wood products, cars, and airplane parts. Here's a list of companies that manufacture things in Alabama.
Mercedes-Benz, Honda, Hyundai, Toyota, Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon, Teledyne Brown, Outokumpu, Nucor, SSAB, ThyssenKrupp, U.S. Steel, Arkema, Akzo Nobel, Huntsman, BP America, Bayer CropScience, Dupont, Sabic Innovative Plastics, 3M Company, Olin Corporation, BASF, Evonik Industries, Ascend Performance Materials, and Daikin.
This isn't an exhaustive list, and doesn't include any logging companies, but you get the point.
 
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