The General Thread -

keyboredsm4shthe2nd

your local tranny hater
kiwifarms.net
lmao eurocucks are so insecure about their damn date format. legit just wanted to know why the us uses m/d/y and every bong and australian rag went on long winded tirades about how "stupid" we are for not being eurofags. sorry you didn't have the balls to fight against your tyrants and america wanted to severe all ties with you eurofucks (I see why, now). It came off as ill-hidden passive aggressive envy.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

World's Okay-est Proctologist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Ouch. How do you even get bird poop on your fingernails? I know it's supposed to be good luck in some places, but I avoid it like... well... bird poop.
It happened at the wildlife clinic, I was trying to help someone pull the plug at the bottom of the tub where we keep gross mats that need to be washed and something jammed into my cuticle while my hand was submerged in nasty water. I think the bird poop-juice got in the cuticle and it got infected, and that's why my nail is so brittle.
I'm not just randomly handling bird poop.;)
 

Dysnomia

Active Shooter
kiwifarms.net
Currently clenching my butthole in dread of my entire fingernail snapping off after breaking really low down. Second damn nail that's done it this year. (First time was the result in me slamming my thumb in a door like a tard, this one is the side effect of a bird poop-induced cuticle infection)

You should be ok aside from a possible risk of infection from mouth-funk. Small rodents are rarely rabies carriers and aren't known to transmit it.

Good to know. Said mouse was about six weeks old and still pretty small. He was in the sink so I grabbed him by the tail and he was very nimble and got my finger anyway. That has never happened before. They usually freeze in fear. He went into the yard.

Godspeed young rodent!:semperfidelis:

I once woke up with a nail split vertically. No idea how that happened. It was just above where the skin began. So I cut it very carefully before it split up further. That particular nail has several seams in it. Always has. Guess I got fault lines.

I got a really weird call today. He sounded far up into middle age and talked robotically. But it was definitely a real guy and not a computer. My voice was echoing in the background and the connection was terrible.

He said: "Hel-lo ma'am. Do you re-mem-ber playing (game that starts with a p) (unintelligable gibberish) house?".

So I said "Playing what game?"

And he repeated himself. I still couldn't understand. So I told him I didn't know who he was and to not call me again.

I checked out the number. 824 is an area code used in India. The state of Karnataka. The city is Mangalore. So perhaps some really crappy call center that employs peasants with zero English skills speaking from some phonetic guide? I could barely understand what the hell he was trying to say.

But a few years ago I got strange calls from where I think was India. There was some kind of bird in the background. Like a crow or something. And this guy kept saying "Hello? Hello?" And he could not hear me at all. He called several times and left messages. But then he stopped. That was when I had a different number though. I think he was outside and was actually trying to reach somebody instead of calling from a call center.

I wonder if the guy that just called was trying to sell me some kind of in-game currency or fake event tickets or something. Maybe he screwed up what he was trying to say so bad that it became completely nonsensical.

I swear pajeets just learn minimal English for call center opportunities.:roll:
 

Spooky Bones

🦴 🎺 🦴
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Try typing "jeffrey epstein didn't kill himself" into Google. Autocomplete blocks as soon as you hit the "n" in "didn't", after suggesting "did he have a wife", which is certainly a less memeable phrase. Usually this only happens when I'm googling stuff about "jews" or "niggers."
 

AnOminous

shalom motherfucker
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Try typing "jeffrey epstein didn't kill himself" into Google. Autocomplete blocks as soon as you hit the "n" in "didn't", after suggesting "did he have a wife", which is certainly a less memeable phrase. Usually this only happens when I'm googling stuff about "jews" or "niggers."

I said it to Siri and got directed to a suicide hotline. Hmm.
 

keyboredsm4shthe2nd

your local tranny hater
kiwifarms.net
cops bang on your door like they're about to bust it down for being a goddamn meth lab.
(tmi context: 16 y/o brother is a truant little shit and didn't believe me when I told him eventually the cops were gonna show up. Well they fucking did, giving everyone in the house a goddamn heart attack because the way he knocked I thought it was a fucking methhead or serial killer or some shit coming to kill us all, cops don't usually drive pickups and it was dark as shit outside so no clear police insignia either)
 
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Pissmaster

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So I checked out the Pluto TV app because why not, free TV, let's see what's on it, and it doesn't really have that much that's interesting. One of the channels is a 24 hour retro Nickelodeon channel, and it plays Clarissa Explains it All in the middle of the night sometimes so I watched a couple of episodes of that.

You know what's surreal? Thinking about how I'm an adult now, so I should relate to the parents more, but they still come off as strangely inaccessible. Like I'll always see them as parents who are peers to my own parents, even now that my parents are hitting retirement age. It's interesting how they were written that way. It's really clearly written beat-for-beat like a generic 50's sitcom, only focused on the perspective of the daughter, so you don't really get a feeling for what her parents are into, what they do, how they go about their lives. Wnen you're a kid, your parents are kind of this mysterious black box, and you're never expected to really understand them as people until you grow up. It's a surreal moment when you finally figure out that your parents fucked up just as much as you have and they've been winging it all along, too. Credit where credit's due, the directing to get her parents to feel like that no matter what your age is surprisingly good.

Though, then again, her dad is a hell of a lot more likable than her mom. Clarissa's mom is a Stepford Wife. I could picture her dad smoking a bowl and listening to Marley in college, and I could picture her mom popping a xanny and putting on a fake smile just to shut out the screaming in her head every day. She's not even like, subservient either, her parents seem to be on equal footing, Does she need to have much character? Not really, she just needs to be the mother figure, though if internet weirdos started trying to fetishize her I'd imagine she'd be most popular in the realdoll community for how blank slate she seems to be.

Also, the kid who plays Sam is an atrocious actor who overdelivers every line, and stands out even by Nickelodeon standards. Clarissa can somehow import photographs into her computer and design games that look 32-bit just to demonstrate one problem in her life, despite it being 1992. Ferguson is literally this meme:
actually.jpg

And most of the show consists entirely of the living room, and Clarissa's bedroom, which makes sense considering how low-budget these shows were. I remember either hearing something about how when Nickelodeon was new, they got the order to churn out as much TV in as little time as possible, so a few live-action shows with simple or outdoors sets were the way to go. That lead to stories about how some enormous amount of Hey Dude episodes were shot in short order, and the actors slept on-set at the ranch set (being one built somewhere in Arizona). I kinda get the sense that a bunch of boomers gathered around a table and just started writing down any sitcom episodes they could remember from childhood and just built on those in order to churn out content. The show never needed to be good, just palatable and relatable for kids. And I guess it worked.

So that's my thoughts on my modern perspectives of a kids show from the 90's, a kids show that modern kids probably wouldn't wanna watch because it's old and hard to relate to other than in the most general topics, especially with how a modern day Ferguson would be the kind of person to search every single little thing on his phone and correct you mid-conversation.

Also this is probably the only time I'll ever actually post more than a few sentences about a kid's show, so, there you go. This is definitely the most thought I've ever given to fucking Clarissa Explains it All but that's what kind of day I'm having
 

Trilby

Sorry, but not sorry!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
And most of the show consists entirely of the living room, and Clarissa's bedroom, which makes sense considering how low-budget these shows were. I remember either hearing something about how when Nickelodeon was new, they got the order to churn out as much TV in as little time as possible, so a few live-action shows with simple or outdoors sets were the way to go. That lead to stories about how some enormous amount of Hey Dude episodes were shot in short order, and the actors slept on-set at the ranch set (being one built somewhere in Arizona). I kinda get the sense that a bunch of boomers gathered around a table and just started writing down any sitcom episodes they could remember from childhood and just built on those in order to churn out content. The show never needed to be good, just palatable and relatable for kids. And I guess it worked.
That was Nickelodeon in a nutshell during the '90's. I suppose just getting a new studio at a Florida theme park gave them somewhere to go outside New York. They were really churning these shows out one by one during that decade.
 
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ISP

Waiting on that race war that'll engulf society
kiwifarms.net
how yall doin? i aint been around and shit. i think there were some hacks or denials of service or some shit. i dont know. how is the site these days? i hope well as i want to seek out more esoteric lol

can you believe peter coffin is esoteric now? good lord... even phil is recognized less and less... this place needs a random button to find the next "project" for an observer to follow

love you guys, mooshie mooshie and my regards
 

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