The Golden Knight (Original, Archive) -

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Le Bateleur

Major Arcana
kiwifarms.net
I'm the Gold Knight and I'm here to say that I like to rhyme in a knightly way.
Now that's how you properly begin to rock a mic.

Thinking about it, there's quite a few lolcows who've at least attempted to spit bars. There's the four I named above, but I somehow forgot to add the inimitable Gloria "Goldilocks" Tesch.

Imagine the Golden Knight and Goldilocks teaming up for a mixtape...
 

NobleGreyHorse

This thing here is called a custom title.
kiwifarms.net
I hate this movie for so many historical reasons (one example: the Battle of Stirling Bridge involved a bridge), but:


Heather, if you're reading this, I was in an abusive relationship for way too long and it only got worse. You have done a wonderful thing for yourself. Be careful in the next few weeks, because the most dangerous time is when you're leaving an abuser, escaping his control -- they hate that. Have a plan with your family in case he does actually wind up making a surprise visit -- and then, having made the plan, you go right ahead with all of the awesome things you're doing with your life.
 

The Golden Knight

kiwifarms.net
I return once again to offer truce. Just please, bear with me through my lecture.

One month ago, I swore I would never return to this place because I felt you abused my trust and I was offended you attacked my relationship. How did you expect me to react? I'm not joking, at the time you honestly hurt my feelings.

It was only an hour or so ago that Heather's Mom told me, there was "trouble in paradise" long before I even knew this place existed (and thus before any of your traps were sprung), yet nobody up to that point was willing to talk about this. That is why I return. Despite all your tricks and venomous speeches both to me and about me, I have returned to acknowledge one point:

You were correct to some extent about my relationship. No, I never abused her (and in the final days, I did everything I could to set things right; expending time, effort, and even money just to please her). The truth is, we simply were not compatible. It took me until now to discover that, because nobody said it in such a way that did not sound like an outright attack. The point is, I am now officially single, but it's for the best. I have learned that the quiet passive Otaku type simply does not mesh with me, despite all my best efforts to meet halfway and immerse myself within that culture. With that in mind, I will return to "The Search," using my new experiences to better tailor my criteria. It's a shame to let someone so beautiful go, but alas, it's still for the best.

I have learned the hard way to not be so open with my personal details, as some of you tricksters may have been observing. I'm still going to be as open as I can because I believe people try to be good-natured whenever possible and it's my personality to try and take things at face value. But I will not be as open, especially to those I have not yet met face-to-face in Real Life. That means, I will not use any online resources to talk about anything that is not already public knowledge. My "trouble in paradise" is already public knowledge, which is why I am discussing it now.

I do realize you are welcome to hate my guts because I was too open about my primal cravings. I am also aware you are likely to twist everything I say here so you could use it against me. If you do that, you only prove my point that you people are no good.

With all that now in the past, here is my proposal. I will ignore everything in this thread up to this point, because I am positive all of it is volatile enough to make me nauseous. I have considered staying here now that I have recognized my errors, but please, stop pestering me so bad with the deceit and the slander and the other verbal assaults. If you continue to attack me anyway, I will disappear yet again. You are welcome to say and do as you wish because the Internet is still the modern Wild West, and as a Libertarian, I honestly wish to keep it that way (with the sole caveat being that the Internet must remain honest, even though opinions are not applicable so long as they are clearly opinions - knowing that opinions are inherently biased). That is why I am offering a choice.

Thank you for your time and patience.
 
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kiwifarms.net
I return once again to offer truce. Just please, bear with me through my lecture.

One month ago, I swore I would never return to this place because I felt you abused my trust and I was offended you attacked my relationship. How did you expect me to react? I'm not joking, at the time you honestly hurt my feelings.

It was only an hour or so ago that Heather's Mom told me, there was "trouble in paradise" long before I even knew this place existed (and thus before any of your traps were sprung), yet nobody up to that point was willing to talk about this. That is why I return. Despite all your tricks and venomous speeches both to me and about me, I have returned to acknowledge one point:

You were correct to some extent about my relationship. No, I never abused her (and in the final days, I did everything I could to set things right; expending time, effort, and even money just to please her). The truth is, we simply were not compatible. It took me until now to discover that, because nobody said it in such a way that did not sound like an outright attack. The point is, I am now officially single, but it's for the best. I have learned that the quiet passive Otaku type simply does not mesh with me, despite all my best efforts to meet halfway and immerse myself within that culture. With that in mind, I will return to "The Search," using my new experiences to better tailor my criteria. It's a shame to let someone so beautiful go, but alas, it's still for the best.

I have learned the hard way to not be so open with my personal details, as some of you tricksters may have been observing. I'm still going to be as open as I can because I believe people try to be good-natured whenever possible and it's my personality to try and take things at face value. But I will not be as open, especially to those I have not yet met face-to-face in Real Life. That means, I will not use any online resources to talk about anything that is not already public knowledge. My "trouble in paradise" is already public knowledge, which is why I am discussing it now.

I do realize you are welcome to hate my guts because I was too open about my primal cravings. I am also aware you are likely to twist everything I say here so you could use it against me. If you do that, you only prove my point that you people are no good.

With all that now in the past, here is my proposal. I will ignore everything in this thread up to this point, because I am positive all of it is volatile enough to make me nauseous. I have considered staying here now that I have recognized my errors, but please, stop pestering me so bad with the deceit and the slander and the other verbal assaults. If you continue to attack me anyway, I will disappear yet again. You are welcome to say and do as you wish because the Internet is still the modern Wild West, and as a Libertarian, I honestly wish to keep it that way (with the sole caveat being that the Internet must remain honest, even though opinions are not applicable so long as they are clearly opinions - knowing that opinions are inherently biased). That is why I am offering a choice.

Thank you for your time and patience.
tl;dr
 

Fishkill

Owner of AutismPornChan
Deceased
kiwifarms.net
I return once again to offer truce. Just please, bear with me through my lecture.

One month ago, I swore I would never return to this place because I felt you abused my trust and I was offended you attacked my relationship. How did you expect me to react? I'm not joking, at the time you honestly hurt my feelings.

It was only an hour or so ago that Heather's Mom told me, there was "trouble in paradise" long before I even knew this place existed (and thus before any of your traps were sprung), yet nobody up to that point was willing to talk about this. That is why I return. Despite all your tricks and venomous speeches both to me and about me, I have returned to acknowledge one point:

You were correct to some extent about my relationship. No, I never abused her (and in the final days, I did everything I could to set things right; expending time, effort, and even money just to please her). The truth is, we simply were not compatible. It took me until now to discover that, because nobody said it in such a way that did not sound like an outright attack. The point is, I am now officially single, but it's for the best. I have learned that the quiet passive Otaku type simply does not mesh with me, despite all my best efforts to meet halfway and immerse myself within that culture. With that in mind, I will return to "The Search," using my new experiences to better tailor my criteria. It's a shame to let someone so beautiful go, but alas, it's still for the best.

I have learned the hard way to not be so open with my personal details, as some of you tricksters may have been observing. I'm still going to be as open as I can because I believe people try to be good-natured whenever possible and it's my personality to try and take things at face value. But I will not be as open, especially to those I have not yet met face-to-face in Real Life. That means, I will not use any online resources to talk about anything that is not already public knowledge. My "trouble in paradise" is already public knowledge, which is why I am discussing it now.

I do realize you are welcome to hate my guts because I was too open about my primal cravings. I am also aware you are likely to twist everything I say here so you could use it against me. If you do that, you only prove my point that you people are no good.

With all that now in the past, here is my proposal. I will ignore everything in this thread up to this point, because I am positive all of it is volatile enough to make me nauseous. I have considered staying here now that I have recognized my errors, but please, stop pestering me so bad with the deceit and the slander and the other verbal assaults. If you continue to attack me anyway, I will disappear yet again. You are welcome to say and do as you wish because the Internet is still the modern Wild West, and as a Libertarian, I honestly wish to keep it that way (with the sole caveat being that the Internet must remain honest, even though opinions are not applicable so long as they are clearly opinions - knowing that opinions are inherently biased). That is why I am offering a choice.

Thank you for your time and patience.
I read this while pounding a girl. Anyway, sorry dude.
 
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