The Great Kiwi Steamed Ham Challenge 2018 -

[Rumpled Foreskin]

Steamed Hams was a time honored tradition earlier this year, despite its’ couple months of longevity. But here I stand before you kiwis as a humble foreskin. Here I stand before you with a challenge.

This meme is dead; Long dead. The horses’ corpse doesn’t even exist anymore. It’s been played out and everyone is sick of it.

I’m tasking you exceptional individuals with making the best, original Steamed Hams this world has seen. There are rules, as follows, but the top two winners will take home a True & Honest prize.

RULES:
1- Original, homemade content only. If you post ANYTHING that isn’t original, you should get a runner up prize, like a month long ban from A&H
2- No shortcuts. The content submitted should be at least 1:45 in length. No shorties allowed.
3- While taking inspiration from the Steamed Hams others have cooked so hard for is okay, blatant copying will probably also result in a month ban in A&H. Don’t ask me why, it’s just some weird thing that happens, I don’t know.
4- No flashy presentation needed, however, please give it a title, and a two sentence description, so we all know what’s in store.
5- 2 submissions per participate is allowed. There’s no weird A&H clause here.

6- This contest ends on the 1st of November at 7:00 Post Meridian Eastern Standard Time in the good old U.S. of A.
7- Voting will be held every week on this day.

Let’s steam some hams.

 

[Y2K Baby]

I do not like this.

 

[Eryngium]

This sounds insanely :autism: but also seems like a good bit of fun.

 

[Calooby]

AURORA BOREALIS?!

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Uhhhhhhhh...what mean?

 

[Flying_with_the_Penguins]

Dead meme

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I was so excited for a Kiwi cook-off, and this is all the thread contains?

I'm taking my cloves and going home.

 

[ES 148]

What if I purchased fast-food, and disguised it as an original meme?

 

[The Flawless Gazelles]

Recipe:
(serves 6-8 people)

• 1 smoked rolled ham (Toupie ham or Alsacian ham), approx. 1 kg
• Note: If ham is already cooked leave it in the fridge until you are ready to bake it. If ham is uncooked, cook it according to package instructions (for approx. 60 minutes per kg) in a broth of the following:
• A pot of water, 3 bay leaves, a few pepper corns, 1 large onion cut into rings.

If you don’t have time to make the bread dough, you can substitute with 2 packets of store-bought pizza dough.

Bread dough:

• 400 grams (2 1/3 cup) unbleached all purpose flour
• 100 grams (2/3 cup) whole wheat flour
• 7 grams (2 teaspoons) quick rising yeast
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 150 ml beer, room temperature (if you don't like beer just add extra water)
• 200 ml water, warm

1. Mix all ingredients in your bread maker (dough function), or knead vigorously by hand (approx. 10 minutes).
2. Cover bowl with a damp cloth and let dough rise at room temperature for approx. 1 hour.
3. Knead dough again briefly to get some of the air out. If it feels wet, sprinkle with some flour.
4. Roll out with a rolling pin until dough is rectangular and large enough to wrap up the ham.
5. Pack ham firmly into the dough and brush edges with some water to make them stick. Make sure that the seam is at the bottom, so that it won’t burst during the baking process. If you have some leftover dough, get creative. Cut out some nice shapes with a cookie cutter and glue on with some water.
6. Place ham on baking tray and bake for approx. 1 hour until nicely browned and crispy. Normal oven: 180 ° C / 360 ° F. Convection oven: 160 ° / 320 ° F.
7. Take bread out the oven, and let it cool down a bit until it can be handled without gloves.
8. With a sharp knife, cut a lid off through the middle. Now you can carve the ham.
9. Put the lid back on the meat to keep it warm.
10. Before serving, cut the lid into neat slices so that your guests can help themselves to ham and bread. The bread will be a little bit soggy from the meat juice but this makes it very tasty.
11. Serve with mustard, salad and pickles.

 

[Umaibae]

I didn't even know this was a meme.

I'm old.