The Horrors of the "Professional" World - Stories that will make you wonder how we exist.

DrJonesHat

All-around bad person
True & Honest Fan
Birthday
kiwifarms.net
Once when I quit a job (with notice, mind you), I got a call from the HR person about a month later demanding to know why I hadn't been at work in a month. My response was less than professional, something along the lines of "do you fucking idiots not talk to each other?!"
 

Yolandi

Resident Pokemon Go expert
kiwifarms.net
Once when I quit a job (with notice, mind you), I got a call from the HR person about a month later demanding to know why I hadn't been at work in a month. My response was less than professional, something along the lines of "do you fucking idiots not talk to each other?!"
That's messed up. Was the tone of the HR rep that they wanted you to still come back to work after not working for a month?
 

Coccxys

kiwifarms.net
Ok another couple of stories from the world of British policing (no Muslim rape this time). The Jussie hoax reminded me of these.

I attended a crash involving an uninsured driver with no lisence hitting a couple of other cars. Turned out to be his mother's car on the various checks. No injuries or anything so just the standard seize the car and had out a ticket for driving without insurance and a license.

Well it soon started spiralling. The woman who's car it was decided to ring me and screech down the phone about how dare I impound her car, that she wouldn't pay (the company who recover and store the cars charge the person to collect it) And that I had to get it back to her "or else".

Now this being a specatularily bad way to deal with the police I decided to call round and hand her her ticket for permitting an uninsured, unlicensed driver to drive her car (which I wasn't going to bother about until the phone call as she already had an impound to pay).

Now this was a shitty council estate and these were standard council estate trash. Her response to the ticket was "he didn't have my permission" so I asked to clarify if she was saying he stole the car and she said yes so I went upstairs and arrested her son for stealing a car. She didn't even object to me doing so.

During interviewing her son for the "theft" he showed me the text messages where he had asked to borrow it and she'd said yes plus that it wasn't a one off. So I downloaded the info off his phone and put it all on the system.

Then I went back to the mother's house, not telling her what evidence I had, and told her I needed a statement to proceed with the theft. She sat there telling me this whole nonsense story about him stealing the car (including forcibly taking the keys from her, so now a robbery).

At the end I asked "are you sure that is what happened?", She was insistent so I handed her the statement to sign and said "are you 100% certain that you want to sign that as the truth", again she insisted yes and signed it. I then put the statement away and proceeded to arrest her for attempting to pervert the course of Justice and off we went to the cells.

The son was released and paid his tickets. The mother however ended up with 6 weeks inside and some community service. The car was cubed as they never collected it.

It was amazing how willing to set her son up she was to avoid £150 in towing fees. He wasn't all that against proving her to be a lier in the interview and court as a prosecution witness though so no honor among fake thieves I suppose.

I arrested some guy who was walking down the road in a wealthy neighborhood smashing the wing mirrors off cars with a bat. Standard bullshit basically.

When we got to court he had a public defence lawyer. Now not a lot of people know it but the cops and the public defense lawyers tend to know eachother well as there are only so many in an area and work on multiple cases "against" eachother so develop a professional relationship at least.

The lawyer he got was notoriously tough, he pulled your shit apart for anything procedural or destroyed you in cross examination so I doubly made sure everything was perfect. Come the big day I give my evidence to the court and the defence lawyer stands up.

First question was "are you sure you saw my client breaking the mirrors off the cars", now this was a favourite of his, plant enough doubt in the officer's mind with repeated questioning along those lines to make you seem unsure to the court since I was the only witness. I answered "yes" and he said "no further questions" and sat down which shocked me as I was expecting an uncomfortable grilling.

The guy was found guilty and given some pathetic sentence that is not a deterrent in the slightest as our courts love to do. The next time I saw the lawyer I asked how come he'd given me such an easy time. He just said "that was my street that bastard was smashing cars on".
 

Ginger Piglet

Fictional Manhunt Survivor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Ok another couple of stories from the world of British policing (no Muslim rape this time). The Jussie hoax reminded me of these.

I attended a crash involving an uninsured driver with no lisence hitting a couple of other cars. Turned out to be his mother's car on the various checks. No injuries or anything so just the standard seize the car and had out a ticket for driving without insurance and a license.

Well it soon started spiralling. The woman who's car it was decided to ring me and screech down the phone about how dare I impound her car, that she wouldn't pay (the company who recover and store the cars charge the person to collect it) And that I had to get it back to her "or else".

Now this being a specatularily bad way to deal with the police I decided to call round and hand her her ticket for permitting an uninsured, unlicensed driver to drive her car (which I wasn't going to bother about until the phone call as she already had an impound to pay).

Now this was a shitty council estate and these were standard council estate trash. Her response to the ticket was "he didn't have my permission" so I asked to clarify if she was saying he stole the car and she said yes so I went upstairs and arrested her son for stealing a car. She didn't even object to me doing so.

During interviewing her son for the "theft" he showed me the text messages where he had asked to borrow it and she'd said yes plus that it wasn't a one off. So I downloaded the info off his phone and put it all on the system.

Then I went back to the mother's house, not telling her what evidence I had, and told her I needed a statement to proceed with the theft. She sat there telling me this whole nonsense story about him stealing the car (including forcibly taking the keys from her, so now a robbery).

At the end I asked "are you sure that is what happened?", She was insistent so I handed her the statement to sign and said "are you 100% certain that you want to sign that as the truth", again she insisted yes and signed it. I then put the statement away and proceeded to arrest her for attempting to pervert the course of Justice and off we went to the cells.

The son was released and paid his tickets. The mother however ended up with 6 weeks inside and some community service. The car was cubed as they never collected it.

It was amazing how willing to set her son up she was to avoid £150 in towing fees. He wasn't all that against proving her to be a lier in the interview and court as a prosecution witness though so no honor among fake thieves I suppose.

I arrested some guy who was walking down the road in a wealthy neighborhood smashing the wing mirrors off cars with a bat. Standard bullshit basically.

When we got to court he had a public defence lawyer. Now not a lot of people know it but the cops and the public defense lawyers tend to know eachother well as there are only so many in an area and work on multiple cases "against" eachother so develop a professional relationship at least.

The lawyer he got was notoriously tough, he pulled your shit apart for anything procedural or destroyed you in cross examination so I doubly made sure everything was perfect. Come the big day I give my evidence to the court and the defence lawyer stands up.

First question was "are you sure you saw my client breaking the mirrors off the cars", now this was a favourite of his, plant enough doubt in the officer's mind with repeated questioning along those lines to make you seem unsure to the court since I was the only witness. I answered "yes" and he said "no further questions" and sat down which shocked me as I was expecting an uncomfortable grilling.

The guy was found guilty and given some pathetic sentence that is not a deterrent in the slightest as our courts love to do. The next time I saw the lawyer I asked how come he'd given me such an easy time. He just said "that was my street that bastard was smashing cars on".
My early days in legal aid caused it to be my lot in life to preserve the tenancy of a young and chronically unemployed gentleman in severe rent arrears. It had already been to court four times beforehand and eviction was stayed on various promises to pay which were adhered to and then forgotten about. The arrears were increasing apace.

So, I start to get to the bottom of why he was not able to pay. He was on a tugboat and kept getting sanctioned (his tugboat suspended) for failing to attend the Job Centre to sign on because "he forgot."

He really was in the last chance saloon but we had legal aid and we could mount an argument that he was about to clear the arrears as he was owed a substantial sum from someone else. Still, it was not certain.

At 5.25 pm the day before the hearing, my colleague put his head round the door.

"Young Piglet," said he. Are you representing this chap tomorrow?"

I say I am.

Turns out he'd just been arrested for robbing at knife point a pizza delivery driver. For the pizza he'd just ordered. And the next day he was due in the Magistrate's Court to be charged. Which meant he missed his County Court hearing over his home.

Amazingly, it SAVED HIS BACON. Why? Because the District Judge didn't think it would be reasonable to go ahead without hearing evidence from him personally and adjourned it.

At the adjourned hearing, he'd been able to pay off his arrears and the eviction was cancelled.

High risk 4D chess strategy that paid off? No, just a scrote getting lucky.
 

AnOminous

do you see what happens
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Amazingly, it SAVED HIS BACON. Why? Because the District Judge didn't think it would be reasonable to go ahead without hearing evidence from him personally and adjourned it.
Judges also don't like stepping on each other's toes if it can be avoided and fucking someone over in one case because he's in court on another is different from just not showing up, even if the reason you're in court for the other thing is you seriously fucked up (probably).
 

DrJonesHat

All-around bad person
True & Honest Fan
Birthday
kiwifarms.net
Someone tried to social engineer an employee's address out of our business manager today, but she didn't go for it. A quick investigation revealed that the culprit was some creeper from a client's company who was stalking one of our female techs. Our very pissed off CEO called the owner of the other company and informed him either creeper could go, or we would. CEO got an email this afternoon that said simply "<creeper> is no longer with the company. We hope we can continue our relationship with you." We had one client who had a note on his file that said in all caps "DO NOT SEND FEMALE TECHS TO THIS LOCATION." So it's not unheard off.
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

The tasteful summer treat. 🥝🥧
kiwifarms.net
Someone tried to social engineer an employee's address out of our business manager today, but she didn't go for it.
I'm not sure if it counts as social engineering per se, but I usually answer the phone at the office when I'm there. As such, I've taken a lot of calls where someone claims to be our phone company wanting to get the details of our phone and internet service with the promise of better rates or deals. The reality is that the caller is from a third-party reseller who is trying to add as many services as possible at a much higher markup than if one gets them direct from the telco. company itself. We get enough of these slam and cram attempts that I simply tell these callers I'm not allowed to discuss this over the phone and ask them to stop calling. In once instance, I handled a call this way and the same caller called back a few days later saying she needed to talk about the phone service but the person she spoke with hung up on her. My response: "I'm still not allowed to discuss that over the phone. *click*" :biggrin:

We had one client who had a note on his file that said in all caps "DO NOT SEND FEMALE TECHS TO THIS LOCATION." So it's not unheard off.
Sadly, there are still men that hold truly misogynistic, sexist, or inappropriate views towards women in the workforce. During my time as an IT consultant, my company landed a relatively small project involving a local check processing company. The company's contact person was an older man who resented the fact his contact person with our company was a woman - so much so he took an otherwise innocent comment as an opportunity to rant about women in the professional world during my first on-site visit with a co-worker. After the meeting, my co-worker told me that was why he didn't say too much to the guy. When the co-worker and I had a follow-up visit with the same guy, I spoke only when necessary to avoid a repeat performance.
 

Rogue Boob

Menacing Mammary
kiwifarms.net
Tales from my first mall-cop post, circa mid-00's:

- Director calls from his office. "Boob, do you know how to use MS Word?" I say yeah, more or less, why. He says he's coming down to dispatch to bring me a file amd swears me to secrecy because he wants a list of all the sec department's employees and their pay rates (generally we're not supposed to discuss how much we make), adding before he hangs up that Word is being "a bowl of fuck". What he actually needed? A simple table. Great boss, just couldn't computer to save his life.

- Most Fun Mom at The Little League Game corners me on patrol one night at closing for the purposes of reaming me out about asking her spawn to stop playing on the escalator. Demands my name and to speak with my supervisor.
Cap comes down and has a word with her. She walks off looking smug as shit. Cap then turns to me and goes "look upset, I'm supposed to be disciplining you and she's watching from upstairs." As this woman is well out of earshot he proceeds to wag a finger at me, I hang my head appropriately, and we both laugh our asses off.

- Obligatory wannabe-cop youngin coworker gets promoted as high as he can be within the ranks, short of replacing Cap's cold dead corpse. It proceeds to go to his head as you'd expect. In short order he's also joined the local Police Explorers, got himself a Z71 three times his own height and outfitted it with (not legal for civvies) police flashers. The other guys get tired of his e-peen swinging, of course. One of them goes to Bass Pro and gets a bottle of fox urine. Now, I admit I was in on this, the kid was obnoxious as hell though he did work hard, but all I did was keep an eye out for him at the end of our shift so the boys could do their dirty work.
They proceed to splash the fox piss over his air intake and filter, and rub it under the door handles.
Two days later the kid is complaining about weird smells in his truck. Apparently he thought nothing strange about all of us lined up trollfacing at him as he left that night.
One of the other culprits later went on to actually be a cop, lol.

- Christmas Day, 2PM. I call the boss at home. He answers the phone with "you'd better have a goddamn good reason for calling me outta christmas dinner." I reply with the riveting tale of that day's coworker (third of three generations of the same family working in our dept) getting clapped in irons by Local PD for pulling a gun on his ex in the parking deck. Apparently she'd shown up with her current squeeze for...some reason. Said coworker had bragged to me previously about never holding a job longer than three months. Slow clap.

- Xmas Shooter's step-grandfather (gen of the family) had some months prior been let go for freaking out the previous dispatcher by whipping out a handgun he'd brought to sell to one of the other officers and teasing her with it. No huge loss, he was awful on the radio, though he'd contributed quite a lot to developing my ability to translate Engrish since I had to rewrite all his reports.

- Said prior dispatcher was gossiping with the original token lesbian one day when I arrived for my shift, talking about a nurse who'd passed out getting her ears pierced at the Claires. Described her as an older lady, about my age. My reply, straight faced: "Ros, I'll be 25 tomorrow."
She didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.

- Junior night shift officer comes wavering in from exterior patrol with his jacket all buttoned up, says he had a nosebleed and needs to lie down. Kind soul that I am, I think nothing of it and the night goes on. By the time I get back the following evening, the second shift dispatcher is losing her shit demanding to know what happened last night. I'm at a total loss. Come to find out, kid had dozed off, run the patrol truck through the retaining wall at the top of the parking deck, managed to get it loose from there by using (and breaking) his personal tow straps, then let it coast down to motor pool. We didn't have cameras, so this whole story came to light as his confession to the boss.

- That guy's replacement was pretty special. Marine bootcamp dropout, had a hardon for Full Metal Jacket and was determined to turn his car into the one from Knight Rider. Wouldn't shut up about it.
He also fubarred a patrol truck, ran it into a handicapped parking sign, tore the sign out of the ground and destroyed the front axle and engine of the truck. Another case of asleep at the wheel, though he claimed he'd been distracted waving at one of the cleaning women at penneys. (They weren't even there at 0600)

- The legitimate exceptional individual who, I shit you not, literally did the tard mating call at random times.

- The unofficial 100oz gas station soda challenge, which I won.

- The office tower being haunted and both my junior night shift guys begging not to have to patrol it, lol.

- Fire drill days ending in EMT visits because nobody in the Tmo call center upstairs (aside from management) weighed less than 250 and a few of them always tried to do the right thing and evac using the stairs.

- The lady who misplaced her Honda Acura every week.

- That one time day shift managed to lose the Prime Minister's wife in Baby Gap.

- Me arriving at work to find all the evening shift guys and both my boys prowling across the parking deck to the back stairwell. Turned out one of them had spotted a guy getting it on with his girl on an upper level and notified the others. They all hid in the stairwell until dude was about to get his rocks off (he'd left the car door open and they saw his leg twitching), then jumped out to deliver some blue balls. Never did get a complaint about that.

- Another one of my guys who'd trawl the movie theater parking lot, silent running, looking for degenerates, and as soon as he found a carload, would turn all the lights on, blast porno music on the PA system, and drive circles around his victims until they left.

And that's just one post and the highlights from it.
 

Goofy Logic

Is this thing working right?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
At the sawmill, the stacker can sometimes be a brain-out-of-your-ears boring job, as your operation depends on a constant output from everybody else, and a breakdown upstream can sometimes mean nothing to do for up to an hour.

I was taking a break from cleanup after one of these downtimes when the shift supervisor came in with an annoyed look on his face. Since they were bored, one of the stacker stick layers decided to sing Justin Bieber's "Baby" at the top of his lungs in a squeaky voice. The shrill, screaming noises had the supervisor convinced someone was wrapped up in a waste conveyor somewhere, so he was frantically running around the sorter building doing a personell check.
 
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Coccxys

kiwifarms.net
We had a police vehicle collision where a woman pulled her car from roadside parking to do a u-turn (illegally) and ended up with a police car on full lights and sirens in the side.

Better yet when the road traffic sgt turned up she was over the drink drive limit. She was arrested for drink driving and careless driving and as the first (noninvolved) officer on the scene I got handed the task of dealing with her (no way a traffic officer would lower themselves to actually dealing with something after they've made the arrest).

Her full story was she had just found out that her husband was screwing her best friend behind her back so she drank a bottle of wine to get the courage to go catch them in the act and confront them. She was just on her way to the friend's house when she pulled the u-turn and collected the police car travelling at speed.

I have no idea if that was a true story she told me (didn't really matter she admitted to having being drinking and she obviously was careless when pulling out in front of a police car on full lights and sirens plus it was all recorded on the dash cam) or trying to get sympathy but if it was true that was one really bad evening for her.
 
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DrJonesHat

All-around bad person
True & Honest Fan
Birthday
kiwifarms.net
We let a guy go today because he walked out the door with 3 refurbished laptops. We just installed security cams yesterday (new office). Looks like we already got our money's worth.
We have a stack of about 20 of them, they're Lenovo Thinkpads, about 5 years old, so not cutting edge by any means, but still usable. The kicker is that the cameras aren't hidden. They're mounted on the ceiling right out in the open, hard to miss. We had one trained on the Pile of PCs and another on the door. We decided not to call the cops because we got them back, we just told him to get lost.
 
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BillyGoat2

True & Honest Fan
Birthday
kiwifarms.net
I fucking hate the disconnect with management/sales people and the Production line in just about any manufacturing job. I cut and build piston heads for fuckhuge engines that go in boats and those 2 story dump trucks in mines. its gotten so bad that all you can really do now is laugh at it. I actually started coming to work every day since last September expecting something to break, fuck up or otherwise go FUBAR that would leave some part of my line down for the day (prep, machining, measurement, building, shipment) and up until end of January, I was right 3/5 days of the week. :(

"Hey Billygoat, you know these 100 pound piston heads we cut that go anywhere from 10-16 per engine the size of a volkswagon beetle?"

"yeah."

"How many behind are we now?"

"I lost count march or april '18 at around 3000 units. Management won't give me numbers anymore"

"lol k"

Im not even joking with that figure by the way. Some chucklefuck in management or sales passed on an order that was physically impossible to complete. on top of that they ignored the issues with the machine we used at the time being an ancient piece of shit from 1990 which could get the equivalent of about 1 unit per hour and the numerous calls over the years to replace it because it would go FUBAR and production down multiple times a week. The machine ended up literally killing itself sometime between end of febuary to mid march last year. It said FUCK YOU to my co worker and overtraveled so hard on startup it ripped out its own guts from the spindle, flooded the Hydraulic lines with cutting coolant, and cracked the radiator all in one go. we even had coolant spurt out of the Fill tank for hydraulic oil a good five feet from the fill point at the back of the machine. (supervisor ignored our reports on how fucked it was, forced the maintenance techs to force start the machine in that state. lol)

we were production down for a good month and a half which lost around 500 units of production during that time because they had NO plans to replace that machine or have any form of machine that could run the units. Thankfully I kept my job and still work for these chucklefucks, and during that month and a half they reprogrammed another machine halfway across the plant to cut the units. Still have to lug them two at a time by handcart back and forth from the old area to the machine and back however.

Cutting time on this second slightly less ancient machine is about 2 heads every hour and a half, though with various things like it also being a piece of shit, and dealing with basic tooling issues (replacing/adjusting cutting edges) it still clocks out at around 1 head per hour. with maybe an extra pair of heads on a good day.

while we do finally have a new state of the art machine being worked on and programmed to get these piston heads done, management still does not have a fucking clue about production capabilities.

In a shift meeting with us floor guys and management they do every quarter, the head guy in charge of the plant mentioned he wanted my line to eventually work up to about 54 heads cut per day. I audibly snorted at him and said that is not possible. I explained to him that running the machine 24/7 no stops for anything such as tool adjustment or the machine going tits up and expecting a constant supply of raw units (always in question) we can machine between 24 and 30 heads per day. that is the maximum capability of the machine.

in other note, when we do get this second brand new machine up and running, (which we do not yet know the production capabilities of, as in cycle time) if they want us to run both it and the old machine at the same time, we might e able to theoretically get 54 heads per day, but we will inevitably shut down and be unable to meet that demand anyway for multiple reasons.

we have 4 people on two shifts right now. we dont have the bodies to do everything as it currently is, let alone trying to tard wrangle both machines and everything else. We'd have to shut down within a few days because of either
A. no one to prep. cant get heads to the machine. shut down. current max production in readying heads for the machine is 12-16 in 10 hours. (Can ratchet it up close to 20 or more with two people tag teaming it though)
B. no one to build. Shut down because we have such a major surplus of heads that it would take days to push them all through to clear up the area.
C. lack of supply. we have had many times where our core supply is grossly inadequate to meet the current capabilities we have, just barely squeaking by at some points.

Hell, we could run into those issues anyway depending on how short the cycle time of this new machine is.

tl;dr, Force management and sales fucks to actually work with the areas for at least one week. then you wont get thousands of units behind.

How the fuck we still have this contract I will never know.
 

neverendingmidi

it just goes on and on and on and on...
kiwifarms.net
I fucking hate the disconnect with management/sales people and the Production line in just about any manufacturing job. I cut and build piston heads for fuckhuge engines that go in boats and those 2 story dump trucks in mines. its gotten so bad that all you can really do now is laugh at it. I actually started coming to work every day since last September expecting something to break, fuck up or otherwise go FUBAR that would leave some part of my line down for the day (prep, machining, measurement, building, shipment) and up until end of January, I was right 3/5 days of the week. :(

"Hey Billygoat, you know these 100 pound piston heads we cut that go anywhere from 10-16 per engine the size of a volkswagon beetle?"

"yeah."

"How many behind are we now?"

"I lost count march or april '18 at around 3000 units. Management won't give me numbers anymore"

"lol k"

Im not even joking with that figure by the way. Some chucklefuck in management or sales passed on an order that was physically impossible to complete. on top of that they ignored the issues with the machine we used at the time being an ancient piece of shit from 1990 which could get the equivalent of about 1 unit per hour and the numerous calls over the years to replace it because it would go FUBAR and production down multiple times a week. The machine ended up literally killing itself sometime between end of febuary to mid march last year. It said FUCK YOU to my co worker and overtraveled so hard on startup it ripped out its own guts from the spindle, flooded the Hydraulic lines with cutting coolant, and cracked the radiator all in one go. we even had coolant spurt out of the Fill tank for hydraulic oil a good five feet from the fill point at the back of the machine. (supervisor ignored our reports on how fucked it was, forced the maintenance techs to force start the machine in that state. lol)

we were production down for a good month and a half which lost around 500 units of production during that time because they had NO plans to replace that machine or have any form of machine that could run the units. Thankfully I kept my job and still work for these chucklefucks, and during that month and a half they reprogrammed another machine halfway across the plant to cut the units. Still have to lug them two at a time by handcart back and forth from the old area to the machine and back however.

Cutting time on this second slightly less ancient machine is about 2 heads every hour and a half, though with various things like it also being a piece of shit, and dealing with basic tooling issues (replacing/adjusting cutting edges) it still clocks out at around 1 head per hour. with maybe an extra pair of heads on a good day.

while we do finally have a new state of the art machine being worked on and programmed to get these piston heads done, management still does not have a fucking clue about production capabilities.

In a shift meeting with us floor guys and management they do every quarter, the head guy in charge of the plant mentioned he wanted my line to eventually work up to about 54 heads cut per day. I audibly snorted at him and said that is not possible. I explained to him that running the machine 24/7 no stops for anything such as tool adjustment or the machine going tits up and expecting a constant supply of raw units (always in question) we can machine between 24 and 30 heads per day. that is the maximum capability of the machine.

in other note, when we do get this second brand new machine up and running, (which we do not yet know the production capabilities of, as in cycle time) if they want us to run both it and the old machine at the same time, we might e able to theoretically get 54 heads per day, but we will inevitably shut down and be unable to meet that demand anyway for multiple reasons.

we have 4 people on two shifts right now. we dont have the bodies to do everything as it currently is, let alone trying to tard wrangle both machines and everything else. We'd have to shut down within a few days because of either
A. no one to prep. cant get heads to the machine. shut down. current max production in readying heads for the machine is 12-16 in 10 hours. (Can ratchet it up close to 20 or more with two people tag teaming it though)
B. no one to build. Shut down because we have such a major surplus of heads that it would take days to push them all through to clear up the area.
C. lack of supply. we have had many times where our core supply is grossly inadequate to meet the current capabilities we have, just barely squeaking by at some points.

Hell, we could run into those issues anyway depending on how short the cycle time of this new machine is.

tl;dr, Force management and sales fucks to actually work with the areas for at least one week. then you wont get thousands of units behind.

How the fuck we still have this contract I will never know.
I have so many feels for you right now. I worked in QA, but was sent to production for a while in my business because they were falling behind. I remember working overtime on Saturday (a 4:30am to 12pm shift) because we were behind, yet being unable to do anything because we were missing parts that were on a semi somewhere between Mexico and us. Yes, they had us working overtime when we literally could not build anything, because we were behind - dammit!
 

TowinKarz

Thoroughly Unimpressed
kiwifarms.net
We hired a guy to drive tow truck for us.

At the scene of a 911 accident, he decided to put the car in neutral so he could tow it without using wheel dollies. This was against common sense (you have no idea if the wreck damaged the drive train in a way that entire wheels could fall off just by rolling) and company policy - (you use dollies on all drive wheels unless you have, personally, removed the driveshaft)

He didn't even get that far.

The car rolled away

And struck the police car that had responded to the accident

He'd tried to stop it from doing so by stepping in between the wrecked car and police car at the last second and stopping the rolling car with his hands.

He got a leg broken when he was sandwiched between them

He was fired

A month later, I stopped for diesel and at the next pump over, there he was.....

Filling up a school bus. :O



He only got hired with us because his brother worked for us and "vouched" for him.

A week after that, said brother's car broke down.

I had an extra "winter beater' car I loaned him so he could still make it into work, for free, no questions asked.

Two nights later, the State Police called me

They'd picked him up DUI in my car... and he was naked at the time they pulled him over.

He got fired too.


Couple' weeks after that, the unpaid parking tickets he'd gotten in my car, and neglected to mention, started showing up with threats to revoke my license if they weren't paid, plus late fees.
 
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Kiwi Lime Pie

The tasteful summer treat. 🥝🥧
kiwifarms.net
Yes, they had us working overtime when we literally could not build anything, because we were behind - dammit!
During my time as an IT consultant, one of the biggest projects I worked on involved an automotive company. Long story short: That company offered an early buyout at that time and all of their repair technicians took the buyout. Consequently, when the client equipment we were working with broke down, there was nobody there to fix it - resulting in my coworkers and I having to record billable time where we sat at our desks doing nothing because enough of the equipment was down that we couldn't do anything with it. The company ended up hiring back some of the retired repair techs as contract workers just to get us back on schedule and productive again.
 
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Dr. Dingo DVM

kid tested, mother approved
kiwifarms.net
Most idiocy of the not-soulcrushingly-depressing variety in the veterinary field comes from people flipping over the bill, optionally accusing the staff of being scammers and/or big pharma shills.

Then I met the lady who believed vaccines gave dogs autism. No, dogs cannot be autistic let alone catch autism from vaccines. She also asked for homeopathic heartworm preventative and told me she gets all her information from a batshit crazy alternative medicine site. No kidding.
 

AnOminous

do you see what happens
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
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Long story short: That company offered an early buyout at that time and all of their repair technicians took the buyout.
I know someone who had something similar where they basically forced him into early retirement but paid him off with a pension, then realized they had nobody who could do what he used to do, and ended up having to keep paying his pension and on top of that pay him twice what they used to pay him just to do what he used to do.
 

RodgerDodger

kiwifarms.net
I was the Director of Technology (product) for a reasonably large Computer Manufacturer. As such I oversaw Engineering, Technical Support, Warranty Repair and Customer Service. So I get grabbed by the President and told I and one of the lead Engineers were being sent on an emergency call for a big Government Agency in Memphis. They had a batch of 500 computers all giving them strange errors. Grudgingly I grabed my Engineer buddy, a nice chap of Vietnamese descent named Khan. We arrive at the Shelby County Courthouse and Attorney Generals Offices. Me a fresh Yankee Transplant from New Yawk, and my little yellow friend. Into the exact offices they filmed "The Firm" in. As the exec I get to schmooze the Managers while Khan starts tearing into computers. The first thing I get asked by the Assistant AG "Where's that thar Boy from?" refering to Khan. I look him dead in the face "New Orleans!" "No I mayn Whar was he Bawn!‽" "New Orleans, Louisianna sir. He just got back from Mardi Graw last week.". Finally after several rounds of racist who's on first I admitted than Khan's parents came over from Vietnam in the 50's. And this was just our introduction to the wild and wacky racism of Good Old Shelby County. We had a mystery on our hands. Well two mysteries. One, the Computers we were sent to deal with all worked fine. Passed every test we could throw at them. The second problem is we found twice as many computers as we were told about. It turned out there had been two orders. Exact same make and model. 500 pieces each, built concurrently on our assembly line. So the serial numbers interweaved between the two orders. They were however ordered from us and supplied to Shelby County by two different local vendors. One set of computers they had no problems with. The other set failed in ways they could never seem to demonstrate and passed all of our test. Finally after two days of this BS I discovered what was going on. The Local vendor for the "problem Computers" was a Black Minority Business owner. The Local vendor for the "perfect" batch was somebodies son in law. Yeah they were creating fake problems for the black guy in order to swing the entire contract to the family dude. I had documentation on all the computers faxed over, pulled the AG and head of IT into a private meeting, and proceeded to let my inner New Yorker off his leash. Calling them out on the blatant racist bullshit and that while they could do what they want, those computers were all built on the same day by the same people using the same parts. Ending with we will be leaving now. Let this matter die or it goes to the Feds. Thank you have a nice day. At which point Khan and I hauled ass out of town like the devil was on our tails.

In all my years down south now, that still stands out as the only time I ever encountered that old school open and overt southern racism. And it was coming from the people that ran the courts.

I know someone who had something similar where they basically forced him into early retirement but paid him off with a pension, then realized they had nobody who could do what he used to do, and ended up having to keep paying his pension and on top of that pay him twice what they used to pay him just to do what he used to do.
That happened to my Grandfather. He was a master machinist in a very specialized role. They offered everybody early retirement so they could move the plant. They forced him into it, then landed a big government contract. They ended up begging him to come back and work 5 more years, collecting his pension, plus getting double his salary and stock options.
 
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