The inherent queerness of farming games -

[Orion Balls]

if you can be a pretend woman being a pretend farmer is small potatoes.

They already have things for that, though. A lot of the smaller family farms here do a farm-share, where you work at the farm during scheduled hours during the months (or if you're lazy, you can pay an upfront fee), and receive some harvest as a reward. Why pretend, when you can always go help out with something like that, and keep small farms running?

 

[Jimmy Durante's Ballsack]

This just feels like more propaganda to get faggot lefties to invade rural areas so they can spread their disease to the evil conservatives. Country life is not quaint and you *will* be working 18 hours a day just to survive.

I also love the part that says "queer people who purposefully move to rural areas feel invisible, unsafe, and lonely." No shit, you *chose* to leave the city and now you want to bring the city to you? Fuck off, we're full.

They only ever consider one type of gay person to be the right kind of gay person anyway. The people that are moving out to the sticks, doing hard work alongside everyone else, and hitting the bar afterwards to unwind aren't part of the equation. You're only a true queer farmer/country person if you're out there trying to spread the correct agenda. All that really matters is that you're in a specific geographic location talking the talk, not that you're walking the walk.

Because any gay person that's out there on the farm pulling their weight isn't going to get shit on by their neighbors and will be a welcome addition to the larger community. We need as many useful people as we can get or else our lifestyle choice doesn't work as well. There's no time to bitch about who is fucking who and where they're doing the fucking. That's their business.

The only time there's going to be a problem is when you start trying to preach queer theory to my kids or attempt to upend the relative peace and serenity of the community by having a bunch of go-go boys march down the street. If that's what you want, you can go to the city for a weekend and enjoy.

 

[BScCollateral]

I just don't get why city people think full on farming is quaint.

Grass is always greener, y'know. One of the troubling things about modern society is that once you've done something long enough to get paid for it, you're probably bored with it.

That said, I doubt anyone seriously thinks farming games are farming sims.

 

[Ted_Breakfast]

Until you've had to deliver a stillborn calf in the rain, you have no idea what farming really is.

 

[Screw Danlon]

That said, I doubt anyone seriously thinks farming games are farming sims.

Wait... are you telling me that in real life you can’t buy a packet of turnip seeds for $100, sow 9 turnips with it, water them for a week, and then sell each turnip for $50?

Damn. Reality sucks.

 

[Pretty Boy Extremism]

Until you've had to deliver a stillborn calf in the rain, you have no idea what farming really is.

Until you've had to chase a chicken you've just freshly decapitated, you don't know what farming really is.

 

[Marissa Moira]

I just don't get why city people think full on farming is quaint. It's damn hard work, and something always needs to be done. That said, there is nothing better than having 30qts of good sauce for the winter when you get an exceptional tomato haul.

Blame the french, they started this shit back in medieval times where the nobles would have novelty farms and pretend to be peasants.

This was when the Symphonia/Herdy Gerdy spread across Europe because the Nobility felt that it was an instrument of the peasantry and adopted it and learned how to play those awful things because they wanted to make pretend peasant music.

This is all true and one of the many reasons why the french have always been awful people. They do things without reason or any substance outside of their own personal amusement.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

We need to ship some of these people out to spend time with the Amish. But that really would be a cruel thing to stick the Amish or Mennonites with.

 

[Coolio55]

Farming is cute until you realize all the people who actually work are straight outta blazing saddles/dukes of hazard.

Also, not even funny. Really nasty shit happens to animals on farms. Unless you like mass sterilization and culling of all males (except a select few) and painful surgery that exists solely to make animals easier to control I don't think farming is for you.

 

[TowinKarz]

Until you've had to chase a chicken you've just freshly decapitated, you don't know what farming really is.

One arm down a drain, up past the elbow, in watery chicken manure trying to clear a blockage.....

 

[VacuousSpooder]

Until you've had to chase a chicken you've just freshly decapitated, you don't know what farming really is.

Or had to mercy-kill the hens/chicks that got maimed by a raccoon that got into your hen house.

I love games like Stardew Valley/Harvest Moon because they're GAMES. They fun and relaxing, and meant to be ungodly simplified farm and social games. But to call them "queer" is about as accurate as calling them actual farm sims. "Oh boy, I get to date a girl and my character is a girl too!!!" Because that's what being gay/lesbian/bisexual is distilled down to for these fuckers.

 

[Enoby Way]

If you would like to see queer farming in action, the Kevin Gibes / Tenacious Unicorn Ranch thread is the place to be. It's mostly about the serial horror show that is Kevin, so it requires a bucket and a towel handy as you read it--but every so often the farming practices get the spotlight and some knowledgeable Kiwis chime in from time to time about how badly they're doing.

Spoiler: its going about as well as you'd expect.

But to call them "queer" is about as accurate as calling them actual farm sims. "Oh boy, I get to date a girl and my character is a girl too!!!" Because that's what being gay/lesbian/bisexual is distilled down to for these fuckers.

Uh, isn't that exactly what being gay/lesbian/bisexual/queer is? It's just an orientation, not a lifestyle.

 

[CWCissey]

One arm down a drain, up past the elbow, in watery chicken manure trying to clear a blockage.....

Having to deal with 18 naked cowboys in the showers...

 

[Fek]

Throwing bales on a nice hot humid Midwestern day for 10 hours (in the field and then into the storage shed after)..

Having to help castrate a batch of piglets..

Yeah - working on a farm is super easy stuff that these people would handle without any psychosis or torn muscles, I'm sure. Nothing to it, right?

 

[Jimmy Durante's Ballsack]

Or had to mercy-kill the hens/chicks that got maimed by a raccoon that got into your hen house.

Had a coon get in a few weeks ago. That they are so intelligent and wily almost makes me not want to kill them. Almost.

But its greed overrode its intelligence. Trapped it when it came back for more and blew its chicken-killing jaw off with no remorse. And like poetry, when I saw the carcass the next day its intestines had been ripped out and eaten by... yes, another coon.

 

[A Random]

Uh, isn't that exactly what being gay/lesbian/bisexual/queer is? It's just an orientation, not a lifestyle.

The point is 'game where your wife can be a dude' isn't something specific to farm games. At least one of those Japanese games actually had the 'husband/wife' be called just your partner in Japan because that shit ain't common to them.

Farm games aren't inherently queer, just that newer ones are starting to add gay options because gay people are part of the audience. Pretty sure people who legitimately go 'STARDEW VALLEY VALIDATES ME BECAUSE I CAN REMOVE PRONOUNS' aren't playing the game for its gameplay but because of feelgoodness.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

I just don't get why city people think full on farming is quaint. It's damn hard work, and something always needs to be done. That said, there is nothing better than having 30qts of good sauce for the winter when you get an exceptional tomato haul.

As someone who has actually lived the farm life I can say that it fucking sucks. It's incredibly hard work for little yield and though you might think you like horses in reality if you had to deal with them every day you probably would hate them like I do.

 

[VacuousSpooder]

Uh, isn't that exactly what being gay/lesbian/bisexual/queer is? It's just an orientation, not a lifestyle.

You're correct, actually. The ironic thing is that these types do make it their lifestyle and defining trait. My wording was poor.

 

[Inflatable Julay]

We need to ship some of these people out to spend time with the Amish. But that really would be a cruel thing to stick the Amish or Mennonites with.

I can't stand when people say they would love to be Amish. Like no bitch I know you too well. You wouldn't last a day.

 

[Secret Asshole]

This is why people thought homosexuality was a mental illness. Because EVERYTHING is gay. EVERYTHING is queer. Straights don't even think like this. How obsessive do you have to be and insecure in your sexuality to think its 'queer'. Does EVERYTHING you do have to be gay? I know some straights go "I can't do this, this is gay!" (like literally gay, not the slang gay), but those are idiots typically. I assure you I don't. I just like what I do. I don't think of things in terms of straight or queer outside of sexual shit. It just is what it is. And I like what I like. Why this obsessive need to categorize everything under your sexuality?

This just feels like more propaganda to get faggot lefties to invade rural areas so they can spread their disease to the evil conservatives. Country life is not quaint and you *will* be working 18 hours a day just to survive.

I also love the part that says "queer people who purposefully move to rural areas feel invisible, unsafe, and lonely." No shit, you *chose* to leave the city and now you want to bring the city to you? Fuck off, we're full.

These fucks just don't understand that an agrarian society doesn't leave much time for ANYTHING. Its really why human progress was bottle-necked for a very long time and only really saw an explosion after industrialization. When your society is agrarian, you don't have TIME to develop science, medicine and things like that. The amount of people who can do the grunt work is significantly reduced. You also don't have the money for it. You need most of your manpower working the fields. Shit, you don't even have time to do agricultural science and even if you do, you couldn't get word around fast enough for people to make use of your techniques. Things moved at the speed of shit.

They play "Stardew Valley" and go, "Oh, I can farm!" Or rich fucks buy a private island, thinking its self sustainable. Dumb ass, do you know how much fucking land you need to feed one goddamn family? A lot of fucking land. And a small ass island doesn't have enough.