The "Is Kat Pregnant" speculation thread - MichaelScottShoutingNo.GIF

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Haunter

Supervisor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The speculation of a surprise DSParenthood plotline is nothing new. In fact, it's been around since Phil's previous girlfriend. The theory cropped up during the Thanksgiving Day Victimhood 2018, and again after the announcement of the April wedding.

The present anticipation of this twist comes from the following points:

  • Phil and Kat's seemingly rushed wedding: Phil claims the couple's spur of the moment engagement came in the later half of last year. Still, the spartan looking wedding, with no friends present (they don't have any), none of Kat's family present (she's likely estranged from them), and the ceremony held in Phil's parent's house didn't help ease suspicions. Further, the Marriage happened to come with a boon of cash from Phil's Mom (ostensibly for his taxes).

  • There's the persistent opinion that Kat looks chubbier: This opinion has been around since back when Phil was still claiming she spends her nights at the Gym. @Kermit the Frog posted on the proceeding page this comparison of her Wedding selfie with her Halloween stream appearance
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  • Phil has taken time off today for a Doctor's appointment (it's his scheduled day off, anyways): Here are tweets from Phil during his illness late-December/early January on why he doesn't visit doctors

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(Courtesy of @Raven'sChild from the "Sickening" thread)

  • Recent "Behind-The-Scenes" money stress: From actually's post on March 14th

At the risk of starting another goose chase, Phil just referred to the "behind the scenes" stuff again and talked about not having as much debt in his name. Certainly sounds like he's either still trying to do something with the WAKhando (either a refi or HELOC) to pay off a big chunk of his debt now or considering some kind of bankruptcy. Any of our resident financial experts want to weigh in? Also,
:lol:
at "12 hour work days". Clip below:

  • After years of ignoring it, he's finally taken steps to clear out the "storage nook": Phil's actually sold one of his useless gamer status symbols (this does follow Kat's recent efforts at re-decorating, which included the sale of a portion of Phil's DVD collection).

  • Phil's propensity to lie, demonstrated by two recent examples: Openly discussing getting a cat despite previously protesting loudly against the possibility due to the state of his finances. From Comma's post on April 24th

So uhhm... yeah... DSP wants to get a cat.

Haven't seen it being discussed as of yet, but this is from the unrecorded "pre-stream" of yesterday's late stream:

"Perhaps we'll even start looking for a cat. Who knows?":


















(https://youtu.be/hgThxJz9_0M?t=13457 => had to take the footage from the black dood's re-stream because obviously DSP doesn't record the 2nd stream's pre-stream)

So, Mister "I can barely make ends meet every month!" and "I'm currently in no financial position to take care of a pet!" is thinking of getting a cat. How does he not see that this is extremely bad timing to splash money on a pet you said you absolutely couldn't afford just months ago, while currently still being neck-deep in all kinds of debts?

Or is this part of his masterplan to focus payments on the house, and say fuck it to the other stuff and just spend that shit, thus fucking up his credit beyond repair? Will Kat (help) pay for the cat? I mean, I know getting a cat doesn't have to cost much, depending on where you get it from, but it's still a thing that will cost money on a structural basis. Money that he surely can spend on more important shit. And what if the cat gets sick/wounded/needs medical treatment? That shit can stack up to thousands of dollars.

I don't...

I don't even.

View attachment 737414
And marrying Kat despite previously protesting loudly against the possibility due to the state of his finances. @KingjadVCMP and @SoapQueen1 pointed out this moment from the "DarkDave's Live Stream mirror" on April 1st. Phil repeated this denial on April 2nd​

(Thanks to @LyteSydeByll for the clip)
 
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Slander Man

kiwifarms.net
but fathering a child at 37 really isn't a big deal.
Popping one out at 32 isn't that big of a deal.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you have never had a child and are still fairly young. Am I right? Because having a kid at any age is absolutely a big deal. Having one at 37 would be even worse.

A bit of powerleveling but this is to prove my point. I got married at age 20 and we were pregnant 3 months later. We had full time jobs. When the baby came our routines changed forever. Kiss your sleep goodbye, your "me" time, your "staycations" and chill together moments all gone except for the rare times you get a sitter. It's like adding a part time job to both of you and the mental and physical stress can get overwhelming at times.

It eases up a bit when they get old enough to go to school and fend for themselves on a lot of things. But then you have picking them up and dropping them off at school, any sports they pick up, birthday parties, homework, etc. They almost always require attention.

Don't even get me started on the teenage years. Phil would be in his 50s, no way he wouldn't put a bullet in his head if he even lasts this long.
 

SmileyTimeDayCare

kiwifarms.net
Kat is pregnant with the most powerful gamer the world has ever seen. Son of DSP will be a naturally charismatic and gifted gamer god who will take twitch by storm. Also he will pay his taxes on time.
The prophecy tells us that this messiah will be able to jump and crouch at the same time.

Also the mental image of DSP having sex makes me want to eat a fucking bullet.
 

Near

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
how can you people stand to follow this boring idiot
At this point, i'm just in it to see some A-log lose his shit and attempt to legit break into his house or something. Seeing how mad some people have been getting over DSP through all these years, i say it's not too far of a stretch to get someone to surpass Fred Fuchs in exceptionalism sooner or later.

DSP is just really good at provoking people, by being a complete and utter exceptional individual. The twist is that he just always gets away with it, which i can't even even find in me to get mad over anymore. It's just plain baffling and funny.

Though i'd probably sooner swan dive off the nearest cliff than maintain a 24h coverage twitter or YT channel dedicated to DSP and whatever dumb shit he's doing.
 
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Kosher Dill

Potato Chips
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I don't know why anyone thinks Kat would be interested in raising a black child. There's no way she could pass it off as Phil's even if they happen to have had sexual intercourse to completion somewhere in the right timeframe. Even LimpWristPhil would file for divorce the minute Tevin Jr. popped out.
 

Violence Jack

Like a wraith, I cling to life, strife be my guide
kiwifarms.net
I would love for whatever kid they have to grow up to be a success story and do something absolutely amazing with their life despite having DSP as a dad.

And then DSP would take all the credit and beg for more bits.
Phil's son could become president and he would still be on twitch begging for bits getting upset at frog emotes.
 
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