Having a baby requires DSP to get it up for Kat and allowing him to ignore her 5 meter radius of no pigroaches.
Sounds too far fetched.
Sounds too far fetched.
I'd dismiss it as that mostly as well. But the fridge comment is what's stopping me here. He clearly heard that baby crying, heard just how loud it was, and made that very shoddy attempt to talk over it.Phil does live in a town house, I think its much more likely that its one of the neighbors making this noise than these tinfoil hat theorys.
No matter the cirumstances, the pigroach always cums out on to... I... must use the bathroom.Do you think he had a "I am Victorious I am the winner" moment or did he have to give 10 min excuses for poor sexual performance alongside 15 min breakdowns on why it's Khets fault he couldn't release the beast properly?
DSP in 2021, when he reveals his two-year-old "son" during a special event stream after hitting the 'Food for Jasper Fundraiser' goal:IT sort of sounds like a baby, but come on, there is no way he is hiding a baby this long, without a farmer finding a birth certificate for the little chud.
Think about how much money he got for Jasper (at least initially). Think about how much he gets promising to put on a vest.DSP's response to the refrigerator meme
spoiler: "it was the refrigerator"
his body language screams "liar"
I feel like if he has a baby, he's trying to protect itThink about how much money he got for Jasper (at least initially). Think about how much he gets promising to put on a vest.
Now imagine how many tardbux he would get if he rolled in with a fucking baby and sat it on his lap. As well, nothing about a baby (or anything baby-related) on his bankruptcy form. I know, I know, he didn't list the cat, but he did include cat food. Everything associated with a baby, especially in the US, is expensive as fuck. You're talking thousands of dollars for a pregnancy that is perfect from beginning to end. If there are any complications whatsoever? Start tacking on thousands of dollars more.
He hid the cat because it was an unnecessary expense that ran completely counter to his whole "I'm so poor I can't afford anything" narrative. A baby could be an "oopsie" and while a baby would also technically be an unnecessary expense, the overwhelming majority of people are sympathetic to a pudgy little shitfactory.if he tried as hard as he did, for as long as he did, to protect a fucking cat, i'd like to think he'd multiply that by 1,000 for a child
just need to keep an eye out for any other suspicious activity like refrigerators crying
i'm starting to think he was due to show in court on the 6th, but ditched because he was spooked that someone would see him with a child, idk, just an autistic theory
You are implying he would be a decent father and husband enough to help out with anything.Phil would look like a fucking zombie on stream and would 100% have cancelled streams because of being tired.
He wouldn't have to help out to be woken up, especially early on when babies are often kept in a crib in the same room, though you're right that he would probably not do much at all beyond the bare minimum.You are implying he would be a decent father and husband enough to help out with anything.
Personally I do not believe they have a kid at all. That's just a horrific thought.