The "Is Kat Pregnant" speculation thread - MichaelScottShoutingNo.GIF

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Fascist Frederick

Fascist Frederick

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I'm torn, part of me wants to say that obviously Phil and Kat do not have sex because this is closeted homosexual Phil we are talking about here, but then the other part of me wants to say that Phil is obsessed with being a real adult and real adults have sex so I wouldn't be surprised if there is a quarterly sex session clause written into Kat's contract.
 
TheGoutburglar

TheGoutburglar

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The only reason I would even consider the possibility of them doing any fucking is if we knew for a fact that that's one of her stipulations. Based on how she was on camera with Phil, color me goutful. It isn't going to be initiated by Mr. Potatohead, who passed on keeping his first girlfriend happy even while he still had some kind of libido.
 
strandedcastaway

strandedcastaway

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Anyone who has kids would know that Phil and Kat clearly don't for a lot of reasons, but the main one is that he loses his mind if his self-imposed ridiculous schedule gets thrown off at all. Kids don't give a fuck about your schedule. DSP would have lost his mind 100 times with the kid randomly crying during the stream, entering the room like Jasper, etc. Not to mention paying for clothes, food, child care, etc.
 
Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog

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One of the few "admirable" (for lack of a better term) things you can say about Phil is that he knows he would be a terrible, lazy father and doesn't want to have any kids. The man can't even handle a small cat, him trying to take care of an actual baby would be a disaster in the making. His mature adult schedule and gacha addiction takes precedent over dumb things like family, why bother with that stuff dood! Kat is a legitimate mentally ill lunatic who would probably be an even more terrible mother. It's for the best that these two become genetic dead ends. The House of Burnell falls with Phil, what a truly inglorious end.
As for the speculation of how often they have sex, it's probably reserved for "special" occasions like Phil's birthday or their wedding anniversary and that's about it. Phil is low test, zero libido and I can't imagine Kat being on anti-depressants is up for anything.
 
Cyber Bowling

Cyber Bowling

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Kermit the Frog said:
As for the speculation of how often they have sex, it's probably reserved for "special" occasions like Phil's birthday or their wedding anniversary and that's about it. Phil is low test, zero libido and I can't imagine Kat being on anti-depressants is up for anything.
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I'll throw some more evidence to support this. We've seen how autistic Phil is about his schedule. Both in the sense of how rigidly he'll stick to it (when it suits him, at least) and how he really needs to schedule every little detail of his life. I don't see why sex would be any different for him.

I'll take it even one step further, not only does Phil have a low libido, I think he's actively afraid of sex. Phil doesn't like to admit to being bad at things, but even he has enough self awareness to try and avoid situations where he thinks everyone will see him fail. That's why he avoids the majority of multiplayer games, mostly clinging to the ones he's deluded himself into thinking he's good at, and the moment things don't go his way, he comes up with excuses. I'd wager that played at least some role in why Leanna was always so unsatisfied. Could even explain why he's been so adverse to it in video games since the Khet saga, though I'd still wager that has more to do with him trying to present a good and clean streamer image to show how he's changed so much from his old self.
 
Schmeckel

Schmeckel

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Cyber Bowling said:
I'll throw some more evidence to support this. We've seen how autistic Phil is about his schedule. Both in the sense of how rigidly he'll stick to it (when it suits him, at least) and how he really needs to schedule every little detail of his life. I don't see why sex would be any different for him.

I'll take it even one step further, not only does Phil have a low libido, I think he's actively afraid of sex. Phil doesn't like to admit to being bad at things, but even he has enough self awareness to try and avoid situations where he thinks everyone will see him fail. That's why he avoids the majority of multiplayer games, mostly clinging to the ones he's deluded himself into thinking he's good at, and the moment things don't go his way, he comes up with excuses. I'd wager that played at least some role in why Leanna was always so unsatisfied. Could even explain why he's been so adverse to it in video games since the Khet saga, though I'd still wager that has more to do with him trying to present a good and clean streamer image to show how he's changed so much from his old self.
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Phil would come before getting his sweatpants down. "FRAYHUA! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

Can't get it up? "Ahnline lag. I was pressing buttons!"
 
OverlySensitive

OverlySensitive

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I really doubt Phil has any strong swimmers so if Kat got pregnant it would be by someone else in my mind since I know they wouldnt pay for the hormonal treatments and testing and shit to have a kid together or pay for a surrogate.

Let's be real Phil's whole life has been one of inactivity and just the poorest of all food consumption, when, outside of puppetry would he be able of getting an erection without medicated assistance? When would he pay for that medical assistance if he wont go to an ear, nose and throat doctor for his business betterment and livelihood?

Wouldn't be able to adopt either not that Phil would even want too but I just don't see him wanting to deal with the responsibility of another life over his own when he cannot even tolerate Jasper in his cum room of electrical cords. But it is his fetish room so I almost understand that, lick my toe while I bust my load and go away, pretty messed up but I understand in a fucked up way.

Pretty sure Kat is a lil bigger than prime fertility would permit as well but hell 600 pound bitches breed so its possible, just not highly likely.
 
Schmeckel

Schmeckel

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TheTractor said:
Isn't giving birth in the US kinda fucking expensive too?

There's no way in hell DSP shells out 10-20k to an hospital ever, look at the leanna hospital saga.
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Yes, yes it is.

The whole healthcare + insurance is fucked. When the youngest was born, we got a gnarly bill from the hospital. She was discharged after the first night (they made sure she took a dump successfully, I wont pretend to know why that was a prerequisite for discharge since it's way above my pay grade). The one night stay in the meat shack was $26,000. Medicine is intricate and technical, I get it. However, seeing on the itemized bill that a single 200mg Ibuprofen was $260 and I could go and buy a 5 year supply of Motrin for that amount...I was floored. I kinda knew that healthcare providers have their little setup with insurance companies to overbill and under-deliver, but for fuck's sake. $260 for a single anti-inflammatory tablet. It also doesn't help that we got sued because the hospital admin fucked up and billed the wrong insurance, put the wrong doctor on the lawsuit, and made it a huge rigamarole to get it resolved....but fuck it. I'm just ranting.

If Phil had to pay out of pocket for birth, he would go into giga-beg-mode. Throwing a human out of your cooch is ridiculously expensive. Even doing it at home with a midwife is a massive fucking bill (so tip me, hint hint).
 
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