The Julays Fifth Annual Lolcow Awards 2019 - The results are in! Jonathan Yaniv is Lolcow of the Year! - The results are in!

[José Mourinho]

I'm not involved with the competition but mention me if the results are out so I can make some nice messages anyway.

 

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

I'm not involved with the competition but mention me if the results are out so I can make some nice messages anyway.

The results are incoming.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

Vote totals have been added to the OP.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

We're going to need a special election for Deathfats now that they have their own sub. 3/5 of the nominees For Best Beauty Parlour Cow are deathfats and Onision won in category his fellow nominees no longer a part of.

 

[MistressCaridad]

We're going to need a special election for Deathfats now that they have their own sub. 3/5 of the nominees For Best Beauty Parlour Cow are deathfats and Onision won in category his fellow nominees no longer a part of.

This is a good point but to be fair I think Grugly still would have won the category as he’s been producing some super high quality mïlk, especially lately.

 

[Dynamite Ninja]

I'm not involved with the competition but mention me if the results are out so I can make some nice messages anyway.

All results are out dude. Break out the snark.

 

[Niggernerd]

Can his prize be coronavirus?

 

[José Mourinho]

Results are out? Might as well make some unfunny snarks:

Spoiler

Best Newcomer Lolcow: Mumkey Jones / Tyler Millard / Simian Jimmy / @VincentHatesGod

To be honest, never even liked that idiot. But with the trashfire going on and nobody would remember you for your Elliott Rodger videos but instead only remembered you falling from grace (if you had one to begin with), congratulations!

Best Loveshy: Jordan Peterson

And now you receive your loveshy award with FACTS AND LOGIC.

Best TGWTG Lolcow: The Spoony One / Spoony / Noah Antwiler

A TGWTG lolcow some of us sympathetize, but still the best TGWTG lolcow we had.

Best Dramacow: ArchivistBecks / 8bitBecca / RemembrancerMx / Yonah Bex Gerber / Rebecca Marie Hernandez-Gerber

The self-described genius of over 700 pages now gets her own prize! Just not the Nobel Prize of course.

Best Artcow: "Zyklon Ben" / Ben Garrison / GarrisonGraphics / GrrrGraphics / RealBenGarrisonCartoons

Great (fantastic) artstyle (drawings), but (however) comes (followed by) mockery (lulz) and too much (a lot of) labelling (labelling).

Best Careercow: Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka

Something Awful and Friends returns to the spotlight!

Best Skitzocow: Dana Marie Cain / Oracle of Venus

Better not gangstalk her!

Best Horrorcow: Zoe Quinn / Chelsea Van Valkenburg / Locke Valentine / @UnburntWitch / @Primeape / CrashOverride

Literally who? Literally still relevant here!

Best Cultcow: Russell Greer / @theofficialinstaofrussellgreer

A former lolcow who had his subforum returns to get the award!

Best DPS Main: Brenton Tarrant

I don't think there's a need for explaining this one, there was some anniversary of that days ago?

Best Lolcow Herd: r/polyamory

This too. I think the term "polyamory" is more than enough to view how vile it is.

Best Furfag: Simba Lion / Steven Hopps

RIP to the actual Simba Lion.

Best Beauty Parlour Lolcow: Onision / James Gregory Jackson / Gregory James Daniel/Jackson/Avaroe

If you wonder why this guy has been flooding your YouTube recommendations, it gets to show how notorious he still is.

Best Lawcow: Rekieta Law

Weeb Wars time.

Best Internet Famous Lolcow: Boogie / Boogie2988 / "Francis" / Steven Jason Williams

The fat fuck returns!

Best Rat King Lolcow: Dr. Rachel McKinnon / Dr. Veronica Ivy / Rhys McKinnon / Rachel Veronica McKinnon / Foxy Moxy / SportIsARight

A new challenger appears, and of course, a strong woman!

Best Tumblrina: Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / meowitch666 / bigfatwitchbitch / ClayAikenGurl

Sophie Labelle has been decrowned!

Best Weeb Warrior: Nick Rekieta

And back to Weeb Wars!

Best Back From Obscurity Lolcow: Steven Hopps / Simba Lion

And of course, RIP.

Best Company/Business Disaster: Star Wars Episode 9

People still watch space capeshit in 2019?

Best CWC Moment: Sockness' Love Quest

A good glance of Jacob Sockness on the CWCki should be enough to describe the weeen fatty.

Best Yaniv Moment: Assaulting a reporter from Rebel Media

YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!

Best Lolcow-Related Pic:

Slime time.

Best Lolcow-Related Video: Romeo Rose vs Kiwi Farms

Months after he tried to sue us (hilariously), he returns with a guitar song.

Best Internet Drama: The ProJared Divorce Fiasco

A tale of backfires, drama and redemptions (?)

Best Potential Subforum Contender: Chantal Sarault / Foodie Beauty

So many fatties winning these awards.

See ya next year!