The Julays Second Annual Lolcow Awards 2016 (RESULTS ARE OUT!) - Rolling the Red Carpets Again!

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Best Heavyweight Lolcow of 2016

  • Total voters
    22
  • Poll closed .
José Mourinho

José Mourinho

The Special One
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Time to announce the results!

Best Newcomer Lolcow of 2016

Nominations:
  • Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson
  • Eddie Dzial / Edward Bernard Przydzial / Poser Exposer
  • Bryce Cherry / dev-catscratch
  • Tommy Tooter / Thomas Jay Wasserberg / Thomasa Wasserberg / Tommi Jayne Wasserberg / WhistleBlower
  • Lucas Werner
Winner: Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson
(http://i.imgur.com/2R6LAsS.png)

Are we surprised? Me neither. Who doesn't love our Trans Lifeline scammer?

Best Loveshy of 2016

Nominations:
  • Matt Forney
  • Mike Cernovich
  • Thonis
  • Marijan Šiklić
  • Kentray "Kent" E Brown
Winner: Marijan Šiklić (http://i.imgur.com/idGaMSp.png)

Second consecutive win for our favorite loveshy who still has the most negative ratings on Kiwi Farms. Congratulations!

Best Tumblrina of 2016

Nominations:
  • StraySheep
  • rcdart / Rory
  • Vade / Scoutgender / AutisticLeafeon / SpiritLore
  • Ashley Isaacs
  • Sophie Labelle Verville, Creator of Assigned Male
Winner: Sophie Labelle Verville, Creator of Assigned Male (http://i.imgur.com/CqrnqnL.png)

Another second consecutive win, this time it's Sophie Labelle for continuing to entertain us with the "Assigned Male" comic. Well done!

Best Halal of 2016

Nominations:
  • HomerBeoulve / Homer Carlos Garcia
  • Connor Bible
  • James Cox / GolgoXIII / ColtofPersonality / Gatsby / greatnorthernlights
  • IslamicContent / Marktwainfan / Lucas
  • Harakudoshi / Lachlan Hunter McIntyre
Winner: Connor Bible (http://i.imgur.com/vUINBdJ.png)

Yet another second consecutive win and it's for our favorite Halal.

Best Lolcow Group of 2016

Nominations:
  • Fat Acceptance Movement
  • Social Justice Warriors
  • Unschooling
  • TV Tropes Community
  • GamerGhazi
Winner: Social Justice Warriors (http://i.imgur.com/w6276oo.png)

Last year GamerGate won it but SJWs managed to win this time.

Best Artcow of 2016

Nominations:
  • rcdart / Rory
  • Matthew Davis The Movie Lover / Cartmanfan921
  • Jenffer A. Jay
  • Jiggly97 / BengalCatSkyler / Skyler Smith
  • Iconoclast
Winner: Jenffer A. Jay (http://i.imgur.com/77h5Y2G.png)

Congratulations, @jenffer a jay ! You truly deserve it. :julay:

Best Careercow of 2016

Nominations:
  • Brianna Wu / John Flynt
  • EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan
  • DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell
  • Bob "MovieBob" Chipman
  • Jonathan Bishop (Crocels News/Research/Press/Base/Trolling Academy, Dzon Bishop, BonathanJishop)
Winner: DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell (http://i.imgur.com/Le56g2P.png)

With his infamous jerking off on a livestream and being close to his end, our bugged mechanic gamer has won this award. Sorry, Wu. Better luck next time!

Best Dramacow of 2016

Nominations:
  • LeafyIsHere / Calvin Marquez
  • Jake Rapp
  • Kevin Allred
  • Milo Yiannopoulos / Milo Wagner / @nero
  • Jessi Slaughter
Winner: Milo Yiannopoulos / Milo Wagner / @nero (http://i.imgur.com/4Gz3BCr.png)

Could've been more relevant this year with his heated antics, but still a job well done to our British gay hero.

Best Horrorcow of 2016

Nominations:
  • Shmorky / David Kelly / Daisy Kay / Sandypants / Peaches the Puppy
  • Lucas Werner
  • James Terry Mitchell Jr / werewolf2814 / 2814werewolf / uglybagofmostlyh2o
  • Cecily Kellogg / CecilyK / Uppercase Woman
  • Julie Terryberry
Winner: Shmorky / David Kelly / Daisy Kay / Sandypants / Peaches the Puppy (http://i.imgur.com/SSQoex4.png)

Look how much months has passed, with Schmorky managing to win with Something Awful drama and crazy fetish shit.

Best Skitzocow of 2016

Nominations:
  • Lee Goldson / Barneyfag / x86x2 / Revved
  • Greg Mazujian/Scareglow42/"BASED ANON"/"Janna Karl Johnson"
  • Jan Harmond Dacion / Yoshi
  • Arthur Racian Chu
  • Will Bresch / William Charles Bresch
Winner: Will Bresch / William Charles Bresch (http://i.imgur.com/KhFjag9.png)

Despite being a celebrity, he joined our forum and got arrested too along with tons of crazy shit including threatening a judge. It's like Christmas morning.

Best General Lolcow of 2016

Nominations:
  • MylarBalloonFan
  • Justin Everette Stout
  • Timothy "TJ" Church
  • Vordrak / Samuel Collingwood Smith / Sam Smith / BenvolaStar / Matthew Hopkins News
  • Tommy Tooter / Thomas Jay Wasserberg / Thomasa Wasserberg / Tommi Jayne Wasserberg / WhistleBlower
Winner: Vordrak / Samuel Collingwood Smith / Sam Smith / BenvolaStar / Matthew Hopkins News (http://i.imgur.com/QZ7K4ez.png)

Show of hands, who is not surprised at all? Congrats, Vordy!

Best Rat King Lolcow of 2016

Nominations:
  • NoraReed / Nora Fleck / Nora Reed Heinemann-Fleck
  • Richard "Terra/Fire/Buffalo Bill" Jones / Leslie Eclaire
  • Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson
  • Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley
  • Leighanna Rose / Princess of the Crystal / ScarletJusticeWitch / Wetflame
Winner: Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson (http://i.imgur.com/9sVwsZs.png)

A one-sided competition with Greta sweeping the prize from the other 4 Rat Kings lolcows.

Best Beauty Parlour Lolcow of 2016

Nominations:
  • Alison Rapp
  • Leslie Jones
  • Milo Stewart (Nady Stewart)
  • ForeverKailyn
  • Ashley Isaacs
Winner: Alison Rapp (http://i.imgur.com/bnWHRCg.png)

Close call winner with former Nintendo employee winning the award while also the lolcow responsible for giving the site more traffic.

Best Back From Obscurity Lolcow of 2016

Nominations:
  • Chris Gillon / Autphag and Spergchan / Sophie Y’Israeli
  • Richard "Terra/Fire/Buffalo Bill" Jones / Leslie Eclaire
  • DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell
  • Lee Goldson / Barneyfag / x86x2 / Revved
  • Benjanun Sriduangkaew / Requires Hate / Winterfox
Winner: DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell (http://i.imgur.com/8wcayV2.png)

Hype for DSP died off after a while but managed to get more attention due to him jacking off in a livestream. The ride just never ends!

Best Lolcow Art of 2016

Nominations: (Dammit there's only two, shit)
Winner: Javan Gregory Roy Whitaker's Trump Comic (http://i.imgur.com/Ncgxgs6.png)

ANY LAST WORDS, BITCH? Fun fact: This was made before the election too.

Best Lolcow Writing of 2016

Nominations: (Three? Really? Oh well the award still must go on)
Winner: Vordrak Threatening to Send info to Jihadist Websites (http://i.imgur.com/0rVPKpq.png)

An embarassment to the alt-right, stalking Milo, ISIS shit and more batshit insane stuff. Allahu Ackbar and Takbir.

Best Lolcow Video of 2016

Nominations: (Still three again)
Winner: DSP Jacking Off on Livestream (http://i.imgur.com/7PaujMD.png)

The video that put DSP back on the map of Internet mockery.

Best Lolcow Post of 2016

Nominations: (Three Again)
Winner: Tommy Tooter's Dogs are so Expressive (http://i.imgur.com/4BY3z3R.png)

Last year's winner is @TranLord and this year belongs to @Thomas Jay Wasserberg for another related dog post. Truly a dog winning discovery.

dogs are very expressive if you understand dog. when lady wanted her pussy rubbed, she made it real clear with her expression and the way she'd curl her tail sideways and stick it in your face. she'd totally light up if you asked her if she wanted noogies.

Best Lolcow Selfie of 2016

Nominations:
Winner: CWC Tired (http://i.imgur.com/TfNhQLO.png)

Look at how tired I am.


Best Lolcow Fanwork of 2016

Nominations:
Winner: BOLDYSPICY!'s Pufferton Thread (http://i.imgur.com/pdcIHrf.png)

Shaner may be gone from the Kiwi Farms' attention, but the Puffertons will still forever remain as a legacy here. Well done, @BOLDYSPICY!


Best Trump Chimpout of 2016

Nominations: (7 instead of 5 because it's way too hard to choose to be honest)
Winner: CWC's "Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!!" (http://i.imgur.com/dBhayd9.png)

Proving that CWC's nerd with rage still lives on even today.

Best Rage Against Null of 2016

Nominations:
  • Oliver D. Smith / Atlantid / TibetanFoothills / MarkofKri
  • Joshua Luke Buraczewski / Dexter / Skannerz22
  • Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson
  • Vordrak / Samuel Collingwood Smith / Sam Smith / BenvolaStar / Matthew Hopkins News
  • Donny Long / Donald Carlos Seoane / God Long Army General / @XXXCAMJOBS (Only His 2016 Rage on His Thread)
Winner: Vordrak / Samuel Collingwood Smith / Sam Smith / BenvolaStar / Matthew Hopkins News (http://i.imgur.com/T7iW7Vp.png)

Almost took down the forum but still failed to do so completely.

Best Dogfucker of 2016

Nominations:
  • Tommy Tooter / Thomas Jay Wasserberg / Thomasa Wasserberg / Tommi Jayne Wasserberg / WhistleBlower
  • "Stinky" @todokaras
  • Sir Wulfington / Lord Balderdash / Wulfgar Von Heltzer
  • Sarah Nyberg / @srhbutts / Sarah Butts / Nicholas Nyberg
  • Aids Skrillex / Benjamin Allen Teter / Your Fucking a White Male
Winner: Tommy Tooter / Thomas Jay Wasserberg / Thomasa Wasserberg / Tommi Jayne Wasserberg / WhistleBlower (http://i.imgur.com/LWimaxz.png)

@Thomas Jay Wasserberg - Dogfucker Extraordinaire of 2016!

Best Heavyweight Lolcow of 2016

Nominations:
  • Christian Weston Chandler/CWC
  • Ahuviya Harel/ADF
  • Julie Terryberry
  • Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson
  • Brianna Wu/John Flynt
Winner: Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson

Congrats to Greta for beating out the veterans for the grand prize!

And.. that's pretty much it! Low turnout for this version so I'm thinking of combining the Lolcow of the Year 2017 with the third version of this to make things much easier. Congrats to all our winners! :julay:
 
RIP_SANITY

RIP_SANITY

I DID NOTHING WRONG DOOD
kiwifarms.net
DSP won all 3 awards he was nominated for? Damn.
tfw when you won more lolcow awards than SF2 tournaments. (he only won 2 tournaments, lol.)
So DSP and Greta won the most awards (3 each) with Vordrak, Tommy, and CWC being runners up winning 2 awards each.

Congrats to the winners!
 
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