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Featured on Dec 31, 2021 at 4:43 PM:
Community managed "Lolcow of the Year" thread.
(First Year / Second Year / Third Year / Fourth Year / Fifth Year / Sixth Year)
The Julays are an annual award ceremony for lolcows. The various awards are divided up by subforum or thread tag. Nominees were added based on front-page features and user submissions.
Lolcow of the Year
First, a special commemoration for a cherished lolcow who has been banished to the prison realm. Christian "Christine Jesus Sonichu" Weston Chandler has brought us laughs for years and is now behind bars for repeatedly fucking his geriatric mother. Because Chris' arrest was by far the most momentous event of the year (and one of the most significant in lolcow history), Chris is the Lolcow of the Year for 2021.
Chris will receive the Golden Sonichu (as seen on eBay) to commemorate his continued service to our amusement.
The six other Lolcows of the Year
Unlike past years, where the various winners of the other awards duke it out in a final round to become Lolcow of the Year, the traditional second round has been scrapped because the Lolcow of the Year title has already been awarded.
Instead, there are SIX lesser Lolcow of the Year awards, divided by lolcow prominence and thread activity. This makes it so newer cows and cows from less popular subforums who would normally get crushed in the final round instead face off against others of similar stature. Some cows are big names on other sites, yet have relatively little thread activity - I guesstimated where those cows should be ranked based on a combination of both factors.
We're going back to the old Lolcow of the Year system next year; I'm only doing it this way for 2021 because of Chris.
Remember, when voting, only vote based on the events of 2021!
Message me your votes or post them in this thread. There is a voting template at the bottom for easy formatting.
Best S-Tier Lolcow
S-tier cows have subforums or extremely active threads, averaging over 2 pages of content per day. They also have long histories, numerous features and/or major sagas this year.
- Ethan Ralph / #Killstream - Winner (113 votes)
- Chantal Sarault / Foodie Beauty (29 votes)
- Jonathan Yaniv (8 votes)
- Amberlynn Reid (0 votes, womp womp)
- Isabella Loretta Janke (30 votes)
- Kevin Gibes / TransSalamander (36 votes)
- Russell Greer (17 votes)
- Phil Burnell / DarkSydePhil (14 votes)
Best A-Tier Lolcow
A-tier cows have active threads, with over 200 pages this year. They also have long histories, multiple features and/or major sagas this year.
- Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Winner (98 votes)
- Melinda Leigh Scott / TamarYaelBatYah (17 votes)
- June Lapine/Laporta / Shoe0nhead (15 votes)
- Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw (5 votes)
- Lou Gagliardi / acekatt (6 votes)
- Anthime Joseph Gionet / Baked Alaska (23 votes)
- Steven Jason Williams / boogie2988 (25 votes)
- Anisa Jomha (12 votes)
- Clayton Ray Huff / Dream (8 votes)
- Josh Saunders / KingCobraJFS (25 votes)
Best B-Tier lolcow
B-tier cows have fairly active threads, with over 100 pages this year. They also have multiple features and/or major sagas this year.
- Byuu / Near - Winner (111 votes)
- Robyn Grogitsky-Ramirez / The Empathic Nutritionist (9 votes)
- Alyssa Jo Frauens / Kindness / KindKinkster (19 votes)
- Hasan Piker / HasanAbi (13 votes)
- Shaddai "Shadman" Prejean / Shadman / Shadbase (25 votes)
- Rainer Winkler / Drachenlord (9 votes)
- Kelly Ronahan (16 votes)
- Ethan Klein (24 votes)
Best C-Tier Lolcow:
C-tier cows have modest threads, with over 25 pages this year. They've earned themselves a feature or had a major saga this year.
- Jack Murphy / John Murphy Goldman / Liminal Order - Winner (61 votes)
- Graeme Kelly / IrishBrony1988 (8 votes)
- Blake Howard Hobbs / CommieDickGurl (25 votes)
- Patrick Sean Tomlinson / StealthyGeek (29 votes)
- Dr. Kathy Rumer / "The Butcher of Ardmore" (35 votes)
- Charles Alexander Berry / Toggle the Rat (10 votes)
- Carson King / CallMeCarson (10 votes)
- Steven Joel Akins / Penelope Verity Oaken / Bardfinn (12 votes)
- Bryan Dunn / King of /pol/ (8 votes)
Best D-Tier Lolcow:
D-tier cows haven't had much thread activity but did something noteworthy.
- Mike Lindell / "The MyPillow guy" - Winner (49 votes)
- Shannon Campbell / CreepShow Art (39 votes)
- Kelly Karl Sleight / Stone-man-warrior (18 votes)
- Mya West / Playmatetessi (14 votes)
- Michael Bijan Afghani / Project CWC Islam (32 votes)
- Nicholas Nguyen / Nikita Dragun (4 votes)
- Mary Margaret Barone / adrasdea (3 votes)
Best F-Tier Lolcow:
This is an award for promising cows whose threads made it out of the Prospering Grounds but died within 5 pages.
- Romana Didulo / "Queen of Canada" - Winner (27 votes)
- Doug Jackson / SV Seeker / SV SEETHER (17 votes)
- Laurat Krasniqi / Lati K (6 votes)
- Patrick C Robitsch / PhantomRoxas (14 votes)
- Sara Michelle Murawski / Sarafina Ballerina (10 votes)
- Caroline Schmitz / Caroline Georges (3 votes)
- Zena O'Brien / ZenaMOBrien (14 votes)
- Heather "Hea" Franke / Mika Hyakuya (7 votes)
Other Awards
Main Forum
- Best Dramacow of 2021: The best lolcow who has a Dramacow prefix thread.
- Best Artcow of 2021: The best lolcow who has an Artcow prefix thread or is only known for their art.
- Best Careercow of 2021: The best lolcow who has a Careercow prefix thread.
- Best Mad Cow of 2021: The best lolcow who has a Skitzocow prefix thread.
- Best Horrorcow of 2021: The best lolcow who has a Horrorcow prefix thread or is a Horrorcow from another subforum (read: Animal Control).
- Queen of the Beauty Parlour 2021: The best lolcow who has a thread in the Beauty Parlour subforum.
- Breaker of Scales 2021: The best lolcow who has a thread in the Deathfat subforum.
- Best Lolcow Community of 2021: The best community in the Community Watch subforum.
- Best Furfag of 2021: The best lolcow who has a thread in the Animal Control subforum.
- Best Internet Famous Lolcow of 2021: The best lolcow who has a thread in the Internet Famous Subforum.
- Best Rat King Lolcow of 2021: The best lolcow who has a thread in the Rat Kings subforum.
- Best Lolcow-Related Pic: The most entertaining picture a lolcow posted in 2021.
- Best Lolcow-Related Video: The most entertaining lolcow-related video made in 2021.
- Best Lolcow Fanwork: The best fanwork for lolcows made in 2021.
- Best Lolcow Meltdown: The best recorded meltdown a lolcow had in 2021.
- Best Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe Lolcow: The best lolcow who has a thread or is a prominent recurring cast member of the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe.
- Fresh Meat: The best new lolcow of 2021.
- Best Put to Pasture Lolcow of 2021: Some lolcows didn't survive the year, but only one of our dearly departed will take home this award.
Best Dramacow:
- Blake Howard Hobbs / CommieDickGurl - Winner (60 votes)
- Rebecca Marie Hernandez-Gerber / 8BitBecks (22 votes)
- Amanda Turcol / Amari Turcol / LadyALT69 (10 votes)
- Patrick Sean Tomlinson / Stealthygeek (35 votes)
- Brett Gaetano Lemke / Ripley Violet Tempest Storm / Rioley Ravioli (38 votes)
- Dave Muscato / Danielle Muscato (7 votes)
Best Artcow:
- Shaddai "Shadman" Prejean / Shadbase - Winner (95 votes)
- StoneToss (41 votes)
- Guillaume Labelle / Sophie Labelle Verville / Assigned Male (32 votes)
- Shannon Campbell / CreepShow Art (16 votes)
- Ben Garrison / GrrrGraphics (11 votes)
Best Careercow:
- Tariq Nasheed / Marcus Sanders - Winner (67 votes)
- Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka (47 votes)
- Bob Chipman / moviebob (29 votes)
- Tim Pool (7 votes)
- Majid M. Padellan / BrooklynDad_Defiant! (1 vote)
- Jim Sterling / Stephanie Sterling (46 votes)
Best Mad Cow:
- Amos Yee - Winner (90 votes)
- Dana Marie Cain / Oracle of Venus (5 votes)
- Kelly Karl Sleight / Stone-man-warrior (13 votes)
- Naruhide (5 votes)
- Alyssa Jo Frauens / Kindness / KindKinkster (42 votes)
- Connor Murphy (27 votes)
Best Horrorcow:
- Isabella Loretta Janke - Winner (99 votes)
- Kevin "Kathryn" Gibes / TransSalamander (59 votes)
- Lucas Werner (7 votes)
- Charles Alexander Berry / Toggle the Rat (3 votes)
- Dr. Kathy Rumer / "The Butcher of Ardmore" (18 votes)
- Chance J.F. Wilkins / Cyrax (3 votes)
- Jonathan Yaniv (22 votes)
Queen of the Beauty Parlour:
- Anisa Jomha - Winner (62 votes)
- Lori Cerda / Usagi Kou (9 votes)
- Jodee Norene Kalra / Royal Black (4 votes)
- Robyn Grogitsky-Ramirez / The Empathic Nutritionist (16 votes)
- shoe0nhead / June Lapine/Laporta (47 votes)
- Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw (10 votes)
- Gregory Jackson / Onision (26 votes)
Breaker of Scales:
- Chantal Sarault / Foodie Beauty - Winner (118 votes)
- Corissa Enneking / fatgirlflow (4 votes)
- Tammy Slaton / 1000 lb Sisters (15 votes)
- Amberlynn Reid (19 votes)
- Anna O'Brien / GlitterAndLazers (15 votes)
- Jennifer Gwen Ann Armstrong / LifebyJen (2 votes)
- Chelsea Marie Young / SagitarriusShawty (4 votes)
- Jazz Jennings had 10 write-ins
- Nikocado Avocado had 7 write-ins
Best Lolcow Community:
- The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / "The Tranch" - Winner (97 votes)
- Super Smash Bros Community (12 votes)
- Incels.is (2 votes)
- IP2 Community (31 votes)
- QAnon Qommunity (17 votes)
- Consoomers / Consoomer Culture (19 votes)
- TikTok (13 votes)
- r/TNOMOD (8 votes)
Best Internet Famous Lolcow:
- Nick Fuentes - Winner (49 votes)
- Mya West / Playmatetessi (3 votes)
- Clayton Ray Huff / Dream (20 votes)
- Hasan Piker / HasanAbi (11 votes)
- Anthime Joseph Gionet / Baked Alaska (29 votes)
- Steven Jason Williams / boogie2988 (30 votes)
- Ethan Klein / h3h3Productions (30 votes)
- William Nicholas Parrott / Natalie Wynn Parrott / Contrapoints (7 votes)
Best Furfag:
- Louis "Lou" Gagliardi / Alex "Ace" Maddox / acekatt - Winner (37 votes)
- Korps / Dave Anthony / Dave Ferris (23 votes)
- David A. Dieter (8 votes)
- Jacob S. Blaustein / ryu289 (29 votes)
- Graeme Kelly / IrishBrony1988 (15 votes)
- Timothy George Amoroso / dawgdude (2 votes)
- Byuu/Near had 7 write-ins
Best Rat King Lolcow:
- Guillaume Labelle / Sophie Labelle Verville / Assigned Male - Winner (65 votes)
- "ADF" / Philip Vincent Haskins-Delici / Isabel Rosa Araujo (22 votes)
- Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt / "Kengel" (32 votes)
- Sean Simpson / Serenity Dee / sapphixy (2 votes)
- Steven Joel Akins / Penelope Verity Oaken / Bardfinn (26 votes)
- Emmy Zje / James Gregory Radich (9 votes)
Best Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe Lolcow:
- Alyssa Jo Frauens / Kindness / KindKinkster - Winner (57 votes)
- Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue (14 votes)
- Danny Nissenfeld / Austerity Swift (2 votes)
- Ryan J. Craig / mode_view (5 votes)
- Paul Mendoza / Bonnie Nelson / BonnieMakes (19 votes)
- Brett Gaetano Lemke / Ripley Violet Tempest Storm / Rioley Ravioli (28 votes)
Fresh Meat:
- Isabella Loretta Janke - Winner (98 votes)
- Jack Murphy / John Murphy Goldman / Liminal Order (36 votes)
- Steven Joel Akins / Penelope Verity Oaken / Bardfinn (10 votes)
- Connor Murphy (9 votes)
- Alyssa Jo Frauens / Kindness / KindKinkster (28 votes)
- Hasan Piker / HasanAbi (17 votes)
Best Put to Pasture Lolcow:
- Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka (Suicide) - Winner (148 votes)
- Bill Knispel / Julie Knispel / XYCyberJulie (Cancer(?)) (0 votes)
- Amy Carlson / Mother God / Love Has Won (Suspicious circumstances, indeterminate COD) (23 votes)
- Kelly Karl Sleight / Stone-man-warrior (Infection in rotting leg) (15 votes)
- Brandon Ashur / Bashurverse (China virus) (17 votes)
- Harland Hoy / Goebel Rodger Hay (Old age) (0 votes)
Best Lolcow Picture:
"Toe Fungus" (Isabella Loretta Janke) - Winner (67 votes)
"I am the new Rosa Parks" (Nick Fuentes) (32 votes)
"SuperStraight Selfie" (Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw) (20 votes)
"Burger Den" (Josh Saunders / KingCobraJFS) (41 votes)
"Sports Illustrated Material" (Anna O'Brien / GlitterAndLazers) (28 votes)
"MEAT" (Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka) (3 votes)
"SuperStraight Selfie" (Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw) (20 votes)
"Burger Den" (Josh Saunders / KingCobraJFS) (41 votes)
"Sports Illustrated Material" (Anna O'Brien / GlitterAndLazers) (28 votes)
"MEAT" (Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka) (3 votes)
Best Lolcow Video:
"A Legend Falls" (Ethan Ralph + Christian Weston Chandler) - Winner (77 votes)
"Coked-Out Workout" (Chantal Sarault / Foodie Beauty) (2 votes)
"Buck Breaking" (Marcus Sanders / Tariq Nasheed) (65 votes)
(clip)
"Shart" (Ethan Ralph / #Killstream) (39 votes)
"Yo Yovanna!" (Russell Greer) (11 votes)
"Intersex Pride (feat. My Vagina)" (Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw) (4 votes)
"JFS had a great fall" (Josh Saunders / KingCobraJFS) (21 votes)
"January 6 Livestream" (Anthime Joseph Gionet / Baked Alaska) (5 votes)
"Buck Breaking" (Marcus Sanders / Tariq Nasheed) (65 votes)
(clip)
"Shart" (Ethan Ralph / #Killstream) (39 votes)
"Yo Yovanna!" (Russell Greer) (11 votes)
"Intersex Pride (feat. My Vagina)" (Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw) (4 votes)
"JFS had a great fall" (Josh Saunders / KingCobraJFS) (21 votes)
"January 6 Livestream" (Anthime Joseph Gionet / Baked Alaska) (5 votes)
Best Lolcow Fanwork:
This award is being given to all the artists who contributed to the main background image. Y'all did a great job!
Best Recorded Lolcow Meltdown:
Blake Howard Hobbs, "Don't Call Me Sir" - Winner (82 votes)
Christian Weston Chandler, "Direct Message to Hasbro" (63 votes)
Patrick Sean Tomlinson, "Privacy Complaints" (21 votes)
(Audio)
Mary Margaret Barone, "HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT" (8 votes)
Holland Proudfoot, "Alice's Meltdown" (17 votes)
Patrick Sean Tomlinson, "Privacy Complaints" (21 votes)
(Audio)
Mary Margaret Barone, "HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT" (8 votes)
Holland Proudfoot, "Alice's Meltdown" (17 votes)
Thank you all for voting! The Julays will return next year!
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