The Julays Third Annual Lolcow Awards 2017 + Lolcow of the Year 2017 (WINNER: RUSSELL GREER) - Rolling the red carpets.... with a hopefully larger attendance!

Best Heavyweight Lolcow of 2017

  • Ahuviya Harel/ADF/Phillip V. Haskins-DeLici

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    119
  • Poll closed .

CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
(VOTING ROUND BEGINS NOW!)

(YES, NOMINATING BEGINS NOW SO READ ON TO KNOW HOW TO NOMINATE!)

1. PM ME FOR YOUR NOMINATIONS, YOUR NOMINATIONS POSTED IN THIS THREAD WILL NOT BE COUNTED
2. IT'S FINE TO VOTE FOR CERTAIN CATEGORIES
3. YOU DON'T NEED TO NOMINATE A LOLCOW FOR LOLCOW OF THE YEAR 2017

It's that time again, and unlike last year where we have the Julays and Lolcow of the Year separately, I'm gonna combine them to a single event to make it easier. :julay:

This event will last for about 3 weeks: First week for nomination, second week for voting, and third week for Lolcow of the Year 2017!

View attachment 348898

First event: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-julays-first-annual-lolcow-awards-2015-results-are-out.15055/
Second event: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-julays-second-annual-lolcow-awards-2016-results-are-out.27215/

If you really want an explanation of this event again, here goes:

So of course, you're wondering: What is this ceremony about?

You know the Academy Awards, where there's awards with different categories, with five nominees for each category? Well, this Lolcow Awards does the same thing, except it's Lolcow-related!

There will be different categories with me choosing the five nominees for each category, and I will put up the polls.

So who will be the winners for the categories? It's time to find out!

View attachment 348904
There will be huge changes to this event to make this 3rd event easier to vote as well as nominating:

  • Best Newcomer Lolcow of 2017: The best lolcow who has a thread here, and the thread must be started in the year 2017. If the lolcow has a second/third etc. thread but the first one is started before 2017, it does not count.
  • Best Loveshy of 2017: The best loveshy who has a thread with the prefix Manosphere and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Tumblrina of 2017: The best Tumblrina who has a thread in the Tumblr subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Halal of 2017: The best lolcow who has a Halal prefix thread in the Lolcow subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Lolcow Group of 2017: The best lolcow group who have their thread in the Community Watch subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Artcow of 2017: The best lolcow who has a Artcow prefix thread in the Lolcow subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Careercow of 2017: The best lolcow who has a Careercow prefix thread in the Lolcow subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Dramacow of 2017: The best lolcow who has a Dramacow prefix thread in the Lolcow subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Horrorcow of 2017: The best lolcow who has a Horrorcow prefix thread in the Lolcow subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Skitzocow of 2017: The best lolcow who has a Skitzocow prefix thread in the Lolcow subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best General Lolcow of 2017 : The best lolcow who has a Lolcow prefix thread in the Lolcow subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Rat King Lolcow of 2017 : The best lolcow who has a thread in the Rat Kings subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Beauty Parlour Lolcow of 2017 : The best lolcow who has a thread in the Beauty Parlour subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Back From Obscurity Cow of 2017: The risen to glory lolcow who has his/her own thread here for 2017 after being obscure for a while. Best for lolcows who had their threads made before the year 2017 but had lots of activity in 2017. The thread must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Lolcow FanWork of 2017: The best fanwork for lolcows made by members in the year 2017 . Can be fanart, or readings. You must post the link to them though.
  • Best TGWTG Lolcow of 2017 (NEW!): The best lolcow who has a TGWTG prefix thread and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Cultcow of 2017 (NEW!): The best lolcow who has a Cultcow prefix thread and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best DSP-Related Lolcow of 2017 (NEW!): The best lolcow who has a thread in the DSP subforum and must be last replied in 2017. DSP cannot be nominated for this particular award.
  • Best Furfag of 2017 (NEW!): The best lolcow who has a thread in the Animal Control subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Salt Mine of 2017 (NEW!): The best drama which has a thread in the Salt Mine subforum and must be last replied in 2017.
  • Best Lolcow-Related Pic of 2017 (NEW!): Scrapped the previous Lolcow Writing/Lolcow Post awards and decided to make this as an award instead. Basically, just any picture from a lolcow itself posted in 2017 that makes you laugh. Picture itself must be done in 2017. The picture can be anything, be it a selfie from the lolcow, or fanart from the lolcow.
  • [Custom Award of 2017] : Because I'm too lazy and decided to rip off the Steam Awards This time, you can get to choose what will be the new custom award to be held for this event! Just post your preferred award name and your nomination for that award.
  • LOLCOW OF THE YEAR 2017: The main event for this ceremony. CWC, ADF, DSP, Amberlynn Reid, Brianna Wu and the winners for the above awards (except Lolcow Group Lolcow FanWork, Salt Mine and Lolcow-Related Pic), will be the nominees for this award to see who will win this grand prize! You don't need to nominate any lolcow for this category btw.
View attachment 348907

Same as last event, To vote for the nomination round, you must PM me your votes (your votes will not be included if it's not in a PM) . No strawpolls, you have to PM me for it. You can only vote for one lolcow/event for each category. You don't need to vote for all the categories, you can choose the ones you want to. Once again, you do not need to nominate any lolcow for Lolcow of the Year 2017.

I will then collect the votes and choose the five nominees (at most) for each category. If there's some point I'm unable to get sufficient nominees for some categories, the category may be cancelled. If your vote for some categories are invalid, you will receive a PM from me about it to fill in it again.

You can try clicking here to PM me your votes.

Example of a vote:
  • Best Newcomer Lolcow of 2017: Randy Stairs
  • Best Loveshy of 2017: Eatdatpussy445
  • Best Tumblrina of 2017: rcdart
  • Best Halal of 2017: Screaming Llama
  • Best Lolcow Group of 2017: Gun Spergers
  • Best Artcow of 2017: Jenffer A. Jay
  • Best Careercow of 2017: Andrew Dobson
  • Best Dramacow of 2017: Zoe Quinn
  • Best Horrorcow of 2017: James Terry Mitchell Jr.
  • Best Skitzocow of 2017: Nate Spidgewood
  • Best General Lolcow of 2017: David Hill Jr.
  • Best Rat King Lolcow of 2017: Richard Terra Jones
  • Best Beauty Parlour Lolcow of 2017: Alison Rapp
  • Best Back From Obscurity Cow of 2017: DarkSydePhil
  • Best Lolcow FanWork of 2017: Fanta-chan
  • Best TGWTG Lolcow of 2017: Spoony
  • Best Cultcow of 2017: Mikemikev
  • Best DSP-Related Lolcow of 2017: Fred Fuchs
  • Best Furfag of 2017: Chibiyama
  • Best Salt Mine of 2017: Magic the Gathering Cosplay/Deplatforming Salt
  • Best Lolcow-Related Pic of 2017: The Oh Joy Sex Toy Cuck Comic
  • Custom Award of 2017: Best Twittercow of 2017: MovieBob

You can have this one as a base line:
  • Best Newcomer Lolcow of 2017:
  • Best Loveshy of 2017:
  • Best Tumblrina of 2017:
  • Best Halal of 2017:
  • Best Lolcow Group of 2017:
  • Best Artcow of 2017:
  • Best Careercow of 2017:
  • Best Dramacow of 2017:
  • Best Horrorcow of 2017:
  • Best Skitzocow of 2017:
  • Best General Lolcow of 2017:
  • Best Rat King Lolcow of 2017:
  • Best Beauty Parlour Lolcow of 2017:
  • Best Back From Obscurity Cow of 2017:
  • Best Lolcow FanWork of 2017:
  • Best TGWTG Lolcow of 2017:
  • Best Cultcow of 2017:
  • Best DSP-Related Lolcow of 2017:
  • Best Furfag of 2017:
  • Best Salt Mine of 2017:
  • Best Lolcow-Related Pic of 2017:
  • Custom Award of 2017:

NOTES WHEN NOMINATING:
  1. You can vote for a lolcow for a lolcow prefix award which is different compared with the prefix of the lolcow's thread (e.g. voting Andrew Dobson for Artcow even though Andrew Dobson has the tag Careercow), it's also okay to vote for a lolcow who has a thread in a different subforum for a lolcow prefix award (e.g. voting Michael Hirtes for Halal award even though Michael Hirtes has a thread in Animal Control subforum). You can even vote a random lolcow for a random prefix, but keep in mind you're pretty much wasting your vote which you can skip it instead.
  2. CWC and ADF are not allowed to be nominated for any of the awards except Best Back From Obscurity Cow of 2017, Best Lolcow FanWork of 2017, Best Lolcow-Related Pic of 2017. You don't want to see them sweeping the awards right?
  3. Your lolcow nomination for a category will be automatically illegible if the thread is last replied before 2017, which I will notify you about it.
  4. It's recommended to vote a lolcow for a category based on his activity overall in 2017.

Nominating will end at 12 January 2018, at 4:00 PM UTC, so get ready! :julay:

So how will I choose the nominations for each categories?

For individuals, the nominations are chosen by order of this priority:
1. Number of votes
2. Number of posts in said lolcow's thread
3. Whether the lolcow has an active subforum (This is to ensure that it will give other lolcows chances to qualify since bigger lolcows which are ADF and CWC dominating the awards is really unfair.)

For works, the nominations are chosen by number of votes, then followed by my opinion of them. If a lolcow has more than 2 nominations for an award, only the top 2 are chosen for fairness (unless you want to see all 5 of his works being nominations)

View attachment 348923
Voting ends at 19 January 2018, at 4:00 PM UTC!

View attachment 348924
Coming soon...


don't use straw poll. its super easy to multi vote
we learned this last time
 
Last edited by a moderator:

José Mourinho

The Special One
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Voting is now over, and time for me to reveal the results!

Best Newcomer Lolcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Allen John Jones III / Coolbreeze88 / Ambition1394 / XBLspartanx170 / Webmaster16 / NoName360 / Axis
  • William Edward Atchison / FuckYou
  • Michael Isaacson / Vulgareconomics / rknjl / Riskybird
  • Russell Greer / @ilovebeingme26666
  • Alexander Thomas Mauer / Alex Mauer / Lexi Mauer
  • Skylar Ittner / Keep Carroll Catholic / skylarmt / netsyms.com / Skylar the Troll Master
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Winner: Russell Greer / @ilovebeingme26666
A very popular lolcow that even got a subforum, and will entertain us for years to come!

Best Loveshy of 2017
Nominations:

  • Russell Greer / @ilovebeingme26666
  • Kentray "Kent" E Brown
  • Christopher Charles Cantwell / Chris Cantwell / FreedomFighter361 / FUFeelinz
  • Brooks Heatherly / Brooks Show / No Bullshit
  • Jacob Baugh
  • Grotesque / Grotesquesubhuman / Unattractive Failure
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Winner: Russell Greer / @ilovebeingme26666
Another reward for our loveshy!

Best Tumblrina of 2017
Nominations:

  • Melanie Herring / Purplekecleon / PK / PapayaKitty / GlitchedPuppet / Floraverse
  • Adele Sheffield / idislikecispeople
  • Life of Bria / Sabrina Barker Fairley Symington / Stephen Symington
  • rcdart / Rory Cummings-Dise
  • Marissa Davis / the-trans-agenda / rabbiedee
  • Sophie Labelle, Creator of "Assigned Male"
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Winner: Sophie Labelle, Creator of "Assigned Male"
At this point, this award might as well be known as the Sophie Labelle award.

Best Halal of 2017
Nominations:

  • Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn
  • Neil Venegas / "Mix Master Ketchup" / @SpergMagnet / @TriggerNigger
  • Alex Figueroa / Idominatio / Red Inside the Brownhole
  • William Edward Atchison / FuckYou
  • James Long / GrandTheftAutism / Trill / ScreamingLlama / Xerrofoot
  • Allen John Jones III / Coolbreeze88 / Ambition1394 / XBLspartanx170 / Webmaster16 / NoName360 / Axis
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Winner: Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn"
A very hilariously notorious user back at the CWCki Forums, is currently now known as a Halal and a furfag and much more!

Best Lolcow Group of 2017
Nominations:

  • Social Justice Warriors
  • SomethingAwful Forums
  • r/the_donald Subreddit
  • Incels
  • NeoGAF & ResetERA
  • ANTIFA
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Winner: NeoGAF & ResetERA
The original NeoGAF forum was in chaos due to tons of controversies, and this brought to light to two autism gaming forums: NeoGAF and ResetERA, both filled with SJW craziness.

Best Artcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • nattycomic / stephen a. winchell / @sawinchell
  • Ariel Renee Cranford / Renee Moonveil / ReneeisDetermined / ReneesInnerIrken / DeterminedToDrawUT
  • Shädbase / Shädman / Shaddai 'Shadman' Prejean
  • Half-dude / Ian Knau
  • Jenffer A. Jay
  • BenTheLooney / Ben Tannehill
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Winner: TIE between Jenffer A. Jay & Shädbase / Shädman / Shaddai 'Shadman' Prejean
Oh boy, the first time we had a tie for an award. Jenffer A. Jay deserves the award, but Shadman also deserves credit too for being notorious even among the chanboards.

Best Careercow of 2017
Nominations:

  • EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan
  • Brianna Wu / John Flynt
  • Andrew Dobson / Tom Preston
  • Bob "MovieBob" Chipman
  • Alexander Thomas Mauer / Alex Mauer / Lexi Mauer
  • Maddox / George Ouzounian / George Schnoz
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Winner: Brianna Wu / John Flynt
You may have made the whole Internet known by sending a hilarious lawsuit, but there's one thing you can't top: Trying to get into politics and get laughed even more.

Best Dramacow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Kevin Allred
  • Kraut and Tea / Joseph Lancaster
  • Shia LaBeouf / He Will Not Divide Us (HWNDU)
  • ArchivistBecks / 8bitBecca / RemembrancerMx / Bex Gerber / Rebecca Marie Hernandez-Gerber
  • Boogie / Boogie2988 / "Francis" / Steven Jay Williams
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Winner: Shia LaBeouf / He Will Not Divide Us (HWNDU)
Who doesn't love a good old anti-Trump trainwreck?

Best Horrorcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Chance Carmichael / AFatChance / 600goingon700 / 700goingon800 / idontwantthisbutok
  • Susan Schofield and Michael Schofield / Schofield Productions
  • Jonathan Ross, aka EffinRawz / SonicJonathanSonic / SuperJonathanSonic, SpeedDemon
  • Georgia Dickerson/Thompson / "Stinky" / "Pip" / @todokaras / @cutiephiliac / Edroy
  • Randy Stair / Andrew Blaze / PioneersProductions & Ember's Ghost Squad (EGS)
  • James Terry Mitchell Jr / werewolf2814 / 2814werewolf / uglybagofmostlyh2o / Ouchdaddy
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Winner: Randy Stair / Andrew Blaze / PioneersProductions & Ember's Ghost Squad (EGS)
Danny Phantom autism and a failed shooting made our insane lolcow more than enough to call it horrifying.

Best Skitzocow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Jan Harmond Dacion / Yoshi / Jan_D3
  • Arthur Racian Chu / arthur_affect
  • Nate Spidgewood / Nathaniel Edward Speed / Nathaniel43284
  • John S. Bulla / @Paul45thomas / @BullaStephen / @StephenBulla
  • Terry A. Davis
  • Lee Goldson / Barneyfag / x86x2 / Revved
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Winner: Terry A. Davis
A very close call, but Terry wins this one!

Best General Lolcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Bob "MovieBob" Chipman
  • Evangelist Dr. Robert McKim, Sr.
  • Andrew Peter Carlson / Anaiah Carlson / Tamarlover
  • Skylar Ittner / Keep Carroll Catholic / skylarmt / netsyms.com / Skylar the Troll Master
  • Brianna Wu / John Flynt
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Winner: Brianna Wu / John Flynt
Second award for our favorite political independent hero!

Best Rat King Lolcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Trans LifeLine's Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson & Nina/Niraj Chaubal
  • Zinnia Jones / Satana Kennedy / Zachary Antolak / Zack Sklar / Lauren McNamara / Lauren Soersdal
  • Jonathan C. Holiday / Toren Victoria Valimir / Toren Wilder / Victoria "Vikki" Valimir
  • Eden Belmont / Eden Luminoth / Zach Bradley / Xakkun / Xak-kun / Scabbed Angel 16 / GirlDickOfEden
  • Anthony "Antoinette" Cancelliere / TheCancelliere / TheSardonicus / TheTrannyClub
  • Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt / "Kengle" / Saturnella / Thundersteam / OnionNull / sailfish8964
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Winner: Trans LifeLine's Greta Martela / Greta Gustav / Kjel Anderson & Nina/Niraj Chaubal
The knife-wielding rat king never fails to disappoint.

Best Beauty Parlour Lolcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • The Slaton Sisters / Amy Slaton & Tammy Slaton
  • Raven Sparks
  • Gwen Hartley & The Hartley Hooligans
  • Mariah Mallad / Momokun / M3rkat / Meeka / "Thicc Samus"
  • Alison Rapp / Maria Mint / 123grapeman
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Winner: Alison Rapp / Maria Mint / 123grapeman
The story of a pedophile supporter continues, as even though the main drama seems to be over, the journey lives on!

Best Back From Obscurity Cow of 2017
Nominations:

  • DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell
  • Maddox / George Ouzounian / George Schnoz
  • Christian Weston Chandler/CWC
  • Kevin Havens / Alexa Tilbrook
  • BenTheLooney / Ben Tannehill
  • Bryan Dunn / King of /pol/ (KoP) / The Armed Toast / FedoraManManMan / @CuckenJohnson / ToastyRoasty
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Winner: DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell
After the jerking off on camera incident, we all thought DSP was over, but after being kicked from Machinima and broke off with PandaLee, we never knew what's gonna happen next to DSP (And as of when I'm posting that, more drama happens to DSP and his fans to kick off 2018! )

Best Lolcow FanWork of 2017
Nominations:

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Winner: Dobson vs CWC: Le Epic MEME Edition
You can never beat memes.

Best TGWTG Lolcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Kyle Kallgren / Oancitizen / Brows Held High
  • Nostalgia Chick / Lindsay Ellis / TheDudette
  • The Spoony One / Spoony / Noah Antwiler
  • Angry Joe Vargas
  • Linkara / Lewis Lovhaug
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Winner: The Spoony One / Spoony / Noah Antwiler
I could make this a very long description, but a hashtag can sum this up: #JuanButNotForgotten

Best Cultcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Tommy Tooter / Thomas Jay Wasserberg / Thomasa Wasserberg / Tommi Jayne Wasserberg / WhistleBlower
  • Russell Greer / @ilovebeingme26666
  • Thomas Lloyd / SolidMario / Funlover2012 / DarthChaos / CrimsonTuba1069
  • Mikemikev / Michael Coombs / Twinkle Toes
  • Brad Watson / Richard Bradshaw Watson
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Winner: Russell Greer / @ilovebeingme26666
And once again, Russell Greer swept this award to his collection!

Best DSP-Related Lolcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Zach Lawless / Zachl1226
  • Vidar Viking Elvi / BrightSideViking / WhaleKermin / Chimichanga / Spoon/ DarthRadeonViking
  • Fred Fuchs / Freddy Boy
  • KGhaleon / Keith L Pickard
  • Bryan Dunn / King of /pol/ (KoP) / The Armed Toast / FedoraManManMan / @CuckenJohnson / ToastyRoasty
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Winner: Vidar Viking Elvi / BrightSideViking / WhaleKermin / Chimichanga / Spoon/ DarthRadeonViking
An Internet tough guy moderator has led to a domino effect leading to a further downfall of DSP, pretty much got him to deserve this award!

Best Furfag of 2017
Nominations:

  • Alex C. Leal / Allie Leal / desertfox899 / BinaryVixen899 / _EternallyEmily
  • Allen John Jones III / Coolbreeze88 / Ambition1394 / XBLspartanx170 / Webmaster16 / NoName360 / Axis
  • Foxler Nightfire / Foxler of Furry Fandom / starfoxacefox / Lee Allen Miller
  • Kobidobidog / Artie Whitefox / Jonathan Hughes
  • Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn
  • Floyd Davis Budge / Floyd David Budge / Floyd Budge / DarkpawThepuppy & his Brother Patrick Budge
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Winner: Allen John Jones III / Coolbreeze88 / Ambition1394 / XBLspartanx170 / Webmaster16 / NoName360 / Axis
He might have not beaten Hirtes as best Halal, but he did beat him for being the best furfag.

Best Salt Mine of 2017
Nominations:

  • Donald Trump Victory Salt
  • Kiwi Farms Reviews
  • JonTron Salt
  • Patreon Donation Charge Salt
  • Net Neutrality Salt
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Winner: Donald Trump Victory Salt
Raise of hands, who is surprised about this?

Best Lolcow-Related Pic of 2017
Nominations:

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Winner: Logan Paul's Suicide Video Thumbnail
Just when 2017 is about to be over, Logan Paul entertains us with one video that causes tons of drama on YouTube and very shortly after, the Internet. The thumbnail pretty much sums it all.

Best Lawcow of 2017
Nominations:

  • Christopher Charles Cantwell / Chris Cantwell / FreedomFighter361 / FUFeelinz
  • Milo Yiannopoulos / Milo Wagner / @nero
  • Akilah Hughes
  • Jon Monsarrat / Jonathan Graves Monsarrat / JonMon / mitcarpediem
  • Maddox / George Ouzounian / George Schnoz
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Winner: Maddox / George Ouzounian / George Schnoz
Can you beat a lawsuit from a former Internet celebrity that targets multiple people and websites (including ours) with a huge price? Certainly not.

It's not all over yet though, as very shortly soon the main course which is Lolcow of the Year 2017 will be up soon, so stay tuned for updates! :julay:
 

José Mourinho

The Special One
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Damn it I thought I put that award there but for some reason it's gone, time to fix it up:

Most Entertaining Shooter Lolcow of 2017

Nominations:

  • Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath / Heretics on Holiday
  • William Edward Atchison / FuckYou
  • Randy Stair / Andrew Blaze / PioneersProductions & Ember's Ghost Squad (EGS)
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Winner: William Edward Atchison / FuckYou
The couch cuck strikes again!

Anyway, the main event, Lolcow of the Year 2017 starts now, and it divides into two parts:

Part 1: All the winners from the nominations of Julays the 3rd will compete against each other to fight for the worthy title of Lolcow of the Year 2017. Unlike the previous seasons, the nominations are even more limited for a better choice of lolcows.

Part 2: The winner of Part 1 will compete against CWC, ADF, DSP, Amberlynn Reid and Brianna Wu to fight for the title of Best Heavyweight Lolcow of 2017.

PART 1 STARTS NOW, AND THE POLL WILL LOCK AFTER 4 DAYS, THE POLL IS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE SO VOTE NOW! :julay:
 

Very Honest Content

(Formerly a) Niggo(?)
kiwifarms.net
Impressive slaying of Mr. Anderson and his designated shitting street cohort defending champ, their names must have been written on a school bathroom mirror somewhere in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Looks like we're going to find out just how much feces a bamboon can fling in the main event, should be a hell of a tournament to crown the prize lolcow for the year!
 

José Mourinho

The Special One
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
CONGRATULATIONS TO RUSSELL GREER FOR WINNING LOLCOW OF THE YEAR 2017!

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Part 2 is up next, and it will pit Russell Greer against the big name lolcows. Who will win Best Heavyweight Lolcow of 2017?

Voting will be at the top and will end in 4 days automatically. This is the final award and after that, the event is over until next year. That's right, after this, no more awards and it's over until next year. Thanks to all who vote! :julay:
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Russ has definitely earned his idiot king crown and he has been producing grade A cream so far in 2018 as well.

I didn’t think 2017 could be topped but in just the first weeks of 2018 we’ve had dick pics, pedal to the medal wooing of Katy Perry, promises of an upcoming TedTalk video and yet another Swift book. Russ could really be a triple crown cow if he keeps accelerating his one man retard parade.
 

Cosmos

Soldier of Love and Bitching on the Internet
Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Russ really has been a goldmine. The court appointment is still one of my favorite Russ moments. After hyping it up for months and going on about how he had it in the bag, he showed up half an hour late because he got the time wrong and didn’t bother double checking it. Oh, and then the judge dismissed the case with prejudice because he could immediately tell what a delusional fuck Russel is.
 

DuckSucker

NIbblin' bits since 2006
kiwifarms.net
I cant wait for the new sequel to his book that will take him 5 labor-intensive years to write: "Why Im suing Kiwi Farms because I won the Julays and the girls there wouldnt even suck my dick!"

What amazing and thrilling ways will he elude death, hitmen and international government conspiracies for daring to be so bold, brave and disabled; snatching victory and glory from the clutches of adversity, receiving admiration from everyone and handjobs, sex, love and affection from hot supermodels and Jessica Alba Ariana Grande Taylor Swift Katy Perry, only to be cruelly struck down in court by that bitch Ariana Grande Taylor Swift, yet still make it out to be somehow not embarrassing, a loss, but something triumphant and glorious? I m dying to read it!

I wish I was Katy Perry so I could get 1989 free copies that it somehow wont cost him tons of money to produce and mail, because he's a fucking idiot.
 
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