The Kiwi Farms Fourth Annual Secret Santa *CLOSED*

  • Copy+pasting images with your clipboard now works again, ending the two-month reign of terror we endured of the prior notice.

John Furrman

they should have sent a poet
True & Honest Fan
Aug 20, 2014
I do not want to receive any gifts, as I have no real interests to cater to.

However I will make a pretty drawing for a, uh, two lucky people.

Last edited:

Rat Speaker

Kiwi Farms Nicest User
True & Honest Fan
Apr 17, 2015
Name: Rat Speaker

Likes: Soccer. Chuck Palahniuk. Arsenal. Crystal Palaces mascot, Kayla. USMNT/USWNT. Punk rock. Neil Gaimen. 'Merica. Vodka. The farms. Kurt Vonnegut. Weed. Christmas. Puffertons!

Dislikes: Tottenham Hotspurs. Dynastia. Mexico. EDM. Kwanzaa. G. Bush. Furries.

Fun facts: I know next to nothing about CWC and could care less. I am finally going back to school for moar smarts.

3D printer: nope.

Xmas spirit bot 9000: not as of now.
Last edited:

Mar 5, 2015
Name: Spooky_Scary

Likes: Video games, Ice Hockey (NYR), History, Curry... any really, Szechuan Cuisine, Hong Kong Crime dramas, Arsenal, MST3K, Green Bay Packers, Tiki drinks, Molson, Wild Turkey Whiskey, Club Soda, Macau, Gundam, Hair Metal,

Dislikes: Brooklyn, Filipino Beer, Nuclear Warfare, French Food, Manchester United, Trigger Warnings, The Spud formerly known as ADF, Any Philadelphia based sports franchise, Any LA based sports franchise, Afrikaaner Beach Parties, People who don't understand that the left lane is the fast lane and/or for passing, and tardiness...

Fun Fact About Me: Accidentally ruined a (minor) piece of American History

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: No

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: No

Dr. Meme

Hardworking Libertarian Trans Woman
True & Honest Fan
Aug 25, 2013
Name: Dr. Meme

Likes: Assorted Homosexual weeaboo shit, Metal Gear Solid, Sufjan Stevens, TF2, Earthbound.

Dislikes: Furries, Bronies, unironic memey shit.

Fun Fact About Me: I'm one of the few members that were grandfathered in before the 18+ rule became mandatory

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: I don't have a printer, so unless you're gonna mail it to me then no

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Possibly

Sanae Kochiya

afk Shrine Maiden
True & Honest Fan
Mar 25, 2015
I will do my absolute best to not regret doing this.

Sanae Kochiya

Likes: Touhous, vidya gaymes, animu and mango, League of Legends, long-winged rants and rambling, coffee, tea, arguing with people about whether coffee or tea is better, weeb shit, sci-fi shit, fantasy shit, laughing at morons, \m/etal and techno, writing, reading, pretty little collectibles, fanart, sleeping

Dislikes: Deadlines, lack of time, bugs, spiders, my gas bill, unironic retards, procrastination, coffee with no sugar or sweetener, 100+ temperatures, forum in-fighting, slow laptops, people telling me to decide on things, a 10% battery, sleeping

Fun Fact About Me: 1) I'm a junior in college and yet some people still mistake me as being in high school. I age gracefully, apparently.
2) Sanae Kochiya is actually my third favorite Touhou character. I was torn between her and my two other favorite Touhou characters, but my favorite Touhou character is literally the identity I like to assume in most online groups which would make it stupidly easy to track me if you really ever tried. Also Sanae artwork is literally everywhere.

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: No

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: No


Probably wearing pants.
True & Honest Fan
Jul 6, 2015
Name: MasterDisaster

Comics, Deadpool, Cake

The taste of orange juice and toothpaste, sweaters

Fun Fact About Me:
I once ate a Beggin' Strip to see if it tastes like bacon. It does not.

Receive a 3D printable gift?:
No sir.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?
: Long as I can get away with writing/recording something, sure.


Check your large building block privilage
Oct 25, 2014
Name: NanoBlockEnthusiast

Nanoblocks, video games (mostly rpgs but I play a lot of TF2), adult oriented cartoons (like Rick and Morty, Metalocalypse, Super Jail, not hentai), shitty MIDIs, neue deutsche härte music, country music, papercraft, horror movies, sci-fi and fantasy novels.

fursuits, horses, peas, beans, family.

Fun Fact About Me:
I really enjoy that feeling when you're on a plane and your stomach drops and for a moment it feels like it isn't there. That's a neat feeling.

Receive a 3D printable gift?:
No thank you.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?
: No, sorry.


Kiwi Farms Produce Inspector
Feb 3, 2013
Aw, yes. Done two of these so far, sign me up again.


Pokemon, video games, art, knitting, drawing, mystery-horror-sci-fi stories, monsters, kaiju, booze, cooking and animals.

Poems, centipedes, hipters....

Fun fact
: I'm stationed in the UK at the moment, although I am a true an honest herspanic.

Receive a 3D Printable gift?
: Y-yes?

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Maybe. I'm not sure what my work situation will be. :(

EI 903

Name: Hellblazer

Likes: Comics, horror (books and films), baseball (SF Giants), Doctor Who, classic metal (Judas Priest, Scorpions, Queensryche, etc), history, MST3K and the type of movies that would play on there, writing silly things

Dislikes: shitposters, the joy of Dodgers or Yankees fans, terrible books, the collected works of Tyler Perry, dark chocolate

Fun Fact About Me: I fell off a highway overpass once and was lucky enough to escape with nothing but a year of regular back pain.

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: Sure, I'd take something if someone wanted to print it.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Probably not. The only thing I'm much good at is writing, and I write slow. If an emergency crops up I may be able to, though.


Sep 28, 2013
Name: Marionette

Likes: Five Nights at Freddy's (obviously my favorite is the Puppet), Team Fortress 2, horror movies, classic monsters, South Park, Moonbeam city, Bioshock, Silent Hill, Gravity Falls, Breaking Bad, Mr. Robot, WWE, animation, WoW, Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, goats and spooky things in general

I can write a god damn book of what I like if you need more info.

Dislikes: There's not really much I can think of that I hate. SJWs, extreme religion, pedophiles, Transtrenders, my abusive relationship with the Utah Jazz, my abusive relationship with the 49ers.

Fun Fact About Me: I used to tap dance professionally.

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: As much as I'd like one, I don't own a 3D printer so no.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Yes.


Supreme moralfag
True & Honest Fan
May 21, 2015
I have absolutely no skills except earning money and this thread is triggering.

I will participate anyway and God help you all.

Name: Fallensaint

Likes: Football, books, philosophy, vidya, cartoons, classic rock.

Dislikes: Nothing too strongly for it to be an issue

Fun Fact About Me: I made a lot of drinking money in university having friends bet on my drinking skills in downing competitions.

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: I barely have internet nigga I live in Africa.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Nah, love to but work is too hectic to commit.
Last edited:

Philosophy Zombie

Mekotur's favorite
True & Honest Fan
Oct 13, 2014
Name: Philosophy Zombie / PHILLY Z BITCH

Likes: Shitposting, collecting rare sanics, calling people out, shitty top 40 music, cute things, Carrie (the book and the movie), flapping and nothing bad happening, cooking, music more generally, spending hours looking at Wikipedia articles on obscure topics that I'll never use, learning things more generally, pokemon (talking about it, not actually playing it), The Book of Mormon, Community, the Onion, Colbert Report when that was still on, America

Dislikes: being asked to list my interests, actual philosophy of the non-zombie variety, furries, sex, drugs, rock and roll, tumblr, italics

Fun fact about me: I've never watched any zombie movies or any apocalypse movies for that matter, really, unless Planet of the Apes counts. There are another two things about me that generally shock people but if you don't know what I'm talking about, go ask chat, the chatty cunts in there will definitely tell you.

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: No

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: No

Mar 12, 2013
Name: Misty

Likes: Nintendo games (Mario, Metroid, Zelda, Pokemon, Animal Crossing), Chrono Trigger, Star Wars, Star Trek (mostly TNG), the Honor Harrington novels, sci-fi in general, Back to the Future, Scrooge McDuck, Invader Zim, cats, reading, writing, drawing.

Dislikes: A Christmas Story, family sitcoms (think Full House and other similar shows), country music, alcoholics, math.

Fun fact about me: I love volcanoes and study them for fun. Tornadoes really fascinate me, too.

Receive a 3D Printable Gift?: No, sorry.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Yes.


Official 5th best poster on the Kiwi Farms
True & Honest Fan
Apr 22, 2014
Fuck it, I'm in.

Name: Jonzun

Likes: Collecting records, independent cinema, Attitude Era wrestling, dark satire, psychopathology, music production, philosophy lectures, discussing the concept of authenticity in art, 8-bit / 16-bit video games, abstract computer generated art, deadpan humour, Werner Herzog, herbs *yawn*

Dislikes: @Philosophy Zombie saying that they dislike listing their interests before me even though it's something we both agree on

Fun fact about me: I once spent the night drunk at a 24 hour festival of worship held in the church I used to live next door to. Watching groups of young women playing in a drum circle whist wrapping each other in ribbons and crying hysterically over how much they love Jesus is something I'll never forget.

Receive a 3D Printable Gift?: I like the idea but no thanks.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Not this time round, sorry.

GV 002

Count me the fuck in!

Name: Chanbob

Likes: History, Vikings, art, militaria, tigers, bushcraft, tanks, nature, black/death/prog/classic/heavy/folk metal, cider, meat, rum and Sean Bean.

Dislikes: Pandas, pop music, anime, Keith Lemon, feminists, peas, Tories and Sharon Osbourne.

Fun Facts About Me:
  1. I live in the UK. Bugger blimey wanker.
  2. I'm a Viking reenactor.
  3. I draw stuff and ink it onto people's skin for money. With needles.
Receive a 3D Printable gift?: No, ta.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: If I'm given enough notice, yes.

Pina Colada

🎵 Fa la la la Lum~ 🎵
True & Honest Fan
Dec 30, 2014
Name: ShiningPokeStar (Shiny, Poke, Star, whatever is fine, too!)
-Vidya Games: Mario, Sanic (classic), Mega Man (both classic and X series, especially Roll, Zero, Protoman, Axl (no relation to either rose ;) )and Iris (favorite characters)), Pokemon, Street Fighter, Fatal Fury (both the first few games and the anime movies)
-Anime: Old school stuff, such as Speed Racer and anything animated by Masami Oobari (giant robots and sexy babes are always appropriate!)
-Music: Madonna, Guns N' Roses, Lady GaGa, Motley Crue, Katy Perry (to some extent, but her recent stuff is kinda "meh" at best),
-Other: Riffing, drawing (ranging from cartoony to manga), makeup, reading, ranting, Scott McNeil (top-tier voice actor), being a lazy bones, laughing, crying, and screaming.
Dislikes: JERKS, chocolate with nuts/peanut butter (Make a SpongeBob joke and I'll snap your neck), pushovers, extreme horror, ess jay dubyas (parodies are definitely okay, though), and the like.
Random Fun Fact(s):
-My name came from being a Pokemon weeb when I was 14/15.
-I can make a mean casserole out of any leftovers.
Receive a 3D Printable Gift: HELL NAW
Can you be an X-Mas Spirit Bot: If push comes to shove, why not?
Last edited:


drugs and fried chicken
Mar 22, 2015
Ah fuck, here goes nothing.

Name: StanCommodore

Likes: Dogs, cats, lizards, chickens, pretty much any animal ever, biology and medicine, literature, Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul, the Cohen Brothers, Radiohead, unintentional comedy, cooking, Christmas and Thanksgiving, gawking at, nature, documentaries, chill piano music.

Dislikes: Sanctimony in any form, rudeness, people who can't keep it in their goddamn pants, modern country music, grammar errors, beets.

Fun Fact About Me: I used to be really big into vidyagaems, but I gradually lost interest and now barely ever play them.

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: No thanks.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Sure.


To the pure, all things are pure.
Mar 2, 2013
Name: cheersensei

Likes: Video games (Legend of Zelda series and Bioshock are the biggest ones), Dungeons & Dragons, Tabletop games/gaming, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Owls, Star Trek, Supernatural, Karl Pilkington, Dr. Who, anime, Firefly/Serenity, The Dresden Files, Watchmen/Minutemen comic series.

Dislikes: Hipsters, idiots, My Little Pony, rude people.

Fun Fact About Me: I like sewing, crocheting, drawing and crafting in general.

Receive a 3D Printable gift?: No

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: No