The (likely redundant) Chris and Work thread -

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Just putting this up here so that discussion about whether Chris is capable of working, and whether working would affect his tugboat, etc. can be focused here instead of the Update forum. I'm heading off to bed in a few minutes, so if this needs to be locked down, coo.

 

[drmccoy]

When I used to go to the "crappy" Wal-Mart (aren't they all?) there was a guy there with obvious mental disabilities. Actually I bet it was more like brain damage. He was exceedingly friendly, you could tell he had routines for his job (which he did well) and was enthusiastic about his job. The Onion puts it better:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/developmentally-disabled-burger-king-employee-only,462/

This, but totally opposite. That is how Chris was at Wendy's. The usual Chris bullshit combined with HARD WORK like mopping, cleaning, etc. Even before the twolls he was probably an impossible, shitty employee who brought up his Autism every second of the day to escape doing certain tasks. I can just imagine Bob, sitting in his ever more cluttered house watching his son come home and say he was fired then deciding the best thing to do is to just get the tugboat for him.

Chris would be hard pressed to find gainful employment at any retail or food establishment, even in a janitorial role. Besides the obvious IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS he would slack as much as he could, scare customers, smell foul, accuse customers of being twolls if they said something wrong to him, his inability to actually get things done in a timely manner and, of course, he would bring up his "disability" anytime he was assigned something he didn't want to do.

He would do better by doing things like collecting cans or something that's all about being a self-starter but that would be HARD WORK.

 

[BT 075]

Just putting this up here so that discussion about whether Chris is capable of working, and whether working would affect his tugboat, etc. can be focused here instead of the Update forum. I'm heading off to bed in a few minutes, so if this needs to be locked down, coo.

Chris is capable of working in an artistic way. This is all he can do. He could also become a male prostitute probably.

 

[The Once-ler]

He no longer has much of an incentive to get a job because of his tugboat. Why go out and get a stress-filled job when you can just have a permanent summer vacation thanks to the government? Of course he could get a job to move out and escape Barb's holey buttocks and spooning but we all know this could never happen.

 

[Captain Cid]

Chris would be hard pressed to find gainful employment at any retail or food establishment, even in a janitorial role. Besides the obvious IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS...

The truth is, Chris' online presence and google results would not affect his employment in any way when you consider the jobs he would qualify for and would have a chance at success in getting. However, he would make a major fucking point to tell people to IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS, even possibly putting it on his application. Chris would make it a fucking issue even though it isn't.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

If Chris really wanted a job and was willing to go to a job placement agency that specialized in helping disabled people find jobs, I think he'd find something.

I know someone who does that type of work and she needs to tell her clients that they need to take a shower daily (among other hygiene issues), not to touch their coworkers inappropriately and basically how to be a good worker. So, Chris-like people get help finding jobs all the time.

Chris would never humble himself to ask an employment agency to help him find a minimum wage or slightly better than minimum wage job. He thinks he should have a job writing and drawing a comic book and that all other tasks are beneath him. So, he'll never find a job.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I think it's pretty well established that Chris's ability to work is precisely equivalent to his willingness to work. Currently, that's zero.

Someone on one of the previous iterations of the forum volunteered at a work agency for disabled people, and they told about someone who had a worse problem with briefs-crapping than Chris but still held down a job. Pretty much anything can be worked around if you use the social services available.

 

[Sovandie]

The problem is that he's not the kind of developmentally disabled which can be moulded into a routine or taught anything. He's entitled and stubborn and likely won't listen to Manajerks as a matter of principle.

 

[Coldgrip]

Let's say that the stars aligned and that somehow he was able to get a job, he'd wind up fired faster than you could spit for sexually harassing the female employees.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

I'd say that his autism indirectly prevents him from ever gaining, or keeping a job. What I mean is his because he's autistic, his parents have brought him up in a specific way that has reinforced many negative personality traits such as laziness, entitlement, selfishness, lack of respect and his victim complex.
Now put yourself in a prospective employers shoes; would you hire somebody with those Character traits? I sure as hell wouldn't, and that's before we get into his revolting lack of hygiene.

There's really nothing physically or mentally wrong with Chris that prevents him from having a job, throughout my time, I've come into contact with many people far worse off that Chris in terms of mental and physical disabilities who also held down a basic job. The main difference is that these people were actively trying to improve their lot and overcome the hardships that life had thrown at them, whereas Chris would rather wallow in self pity and demand that others do things for him.

Is Chris capable of work? Absolutely. Is it worth the time, effort, and expense required from an employer to grind away all his douchebag personality traits and turn him into a menial worker? Absolutely not.

I'll put it another way, there are a shit ton of capable, hard working, enthusiastic people out there who deserve the right to employment in a market that generally doesn't have enough jobs to go around, why on earth should one of these positions be taken up by an arrogant, self absorbed, entitled, unpleasant, smelly manchild when others would gratefully do the job with much less hassle.

Just let the asshole have his tugboat, he's fucking miserable and too stupid and lazy to realise that meaningful employment and human interaction would increase his quality of life dramatically.

 

[Marvin]

If Chris really wanted a job and was willing to go to a job placement agency that specialized in helping disabled people find jobs, I think he'd find something.

I know someone who does that type of work and she needs to tell her clients that they need to take a shower daily (among other hygiene issues), not to touch their coworkers inappropriately and basically how to be a good worker. So, Chris-like people get help finding jobs all the time.

Chris would never humble himself to ask an employment agency to help him find a minimum wage or slightly better than minimum wage job. He thinks he should have a job writing and drawing a comic book and that all other tasks are beneath him. So, he'll never find a job.

See, Chris isn't going to humble himself to do anything, until he's getting his ass kicked by reality. So, before? Fuck those trolls!

Now? Barb's on his ass about finances? Please!! Please buy my violin/fiddle and crappy drawing!

No one familiar with Chris' laziness and self righteousness would think he'd try to get a job now. I mean, why should he? But when he's collecting cans for q-sand money? He'd be a lot more pliable.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Chris takes the way of least resistance, which for now is selling junk on eBay and e-begging. It's going to have to get bad before he starts looking for work.

 

[Xarpho]

When I used to go to the "crappy" Wal-Mart (aren't they all?) there was a guy there with obvious mental disabilities. Actually I bet it was more like brain damage. He was exceedingly friendly, you could tell he had routines for his job (which he did well) and was enthusiastic about his job. The Onion puts it better:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/developmentally-disabled-burger-king-employee-only,462/

This, but totally opposite. That is how Chris was at Wendy's. The usual Chris bullshit combined with HARD WORK like mopping, cleaning, etc. Even before the twolls he was probably an impossible, shitty employee who brought up his Autism every second of the day to escape doing certain tasks. I can just imagine Bob, sitting in his ever more cluttered house watching his son come home and say he was fired then deciding the best thing to do is to just get the tugboat for him.

Chris would be hard pressed to find gainful employment at any retail or food establishment, even in a janitorial role. Besides the obvious IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS he would slack as much as he could, scare customers, smell foul, accuse customers of being twolls if they said something wrong to him, his inability to actually get things done in a timely manner and, of course, he would bring up his "disability" anytime he was assigned something he didn't want to do.

He would do better by doing things like collecting cans or something that's all about being a self-starter but that would be HARD WORK.

You don't need an Onion article to prove a point. I could probably find at least half a dozen real newspaper articles where someone who is developmentally disabled, competent at the job they do, AND loved by many.

As for actually working, I think Chris will end up as an ungrateful, lousy bum living on the streets (the worst kind), in and out of prison...unless Chris can turn his life around, it will only get worse.

 

[Zim]

Some people only improve when they hit a situation in life that's so miserable that they absolutely can't stand it and it forces them to change. Chris is one of these people I think. The thing is that his craptastic attitude and overall laziness (that have been discussed to death) make rock bottom a really deep place. If he lost his tugboat and had to get a job to keep a roof over his head he might do it.

Of coarse it would involve him wining and shitting himself until the last possible moment since the only thing deeper then cwc's rock bottom is his laziness and entitlement issues. Also someone would have to kick him in the ass and tell him "get a job or else you'll be out on the street and no one is going to give you anything for free" and we all know that wouldn't happen. Chris would literally need to be in a get a job or die situation to get a job on his own anymore.

The point is he'll never be miserable enough to hit rock bottom. He's unhappy but not uncomfortable enough to change. The taxpayers foot the bill for his life and always will. So as others have said why would he work when gets it all for free? He's been living in vacation mode for so long that it would take a force of nature to make him get a job.

 

[Panzer IV]

In fact, its very easy for chris to make money nowadays from his dirty bedroom. He doesnt even need to go out.

1º Open a new youtube channel.
2º Become a YouTube partner, there are a lot of companies today out there (not youtube google partner program, they would BAN him)
3º Today, the less famous companies pay 0.5/0.8$ per 1000 views if im correct.

He is CWC, the original creator of sonichu and a lolcow. One or two videos per week will have... 100000 views? Thats 50$/80$. There are a lot of clowns, even kids, on youtube earning serious money today...

but chris is retired, I know

 

[LogVincent]

When all else fails he will most likely shit himself and do nothing. We're talking about a guy whose dream job is to be a house husband and have his kids take care of each other. Considering his action patten as of late tho I can see him giving in once reality hits him in the duck and Barb nags enough for him to start workin' on it.

 

[Marvin]

In fact, its very easy for chris to make money nowadays from his dirty bedroom. He doesnt even need to go out.

1º Open a new youtube channel.
2º Become a YouTube partner, there are a lot of companies today out there (not youtube google partner program, they would BAN him)
3º Today, the less famous companies pay 0.5/0.8$ per 1000 views if im correct.

He is CWC, the original creator of sonichu and a lolcow. One or two videos per week will have... 100000 views? Thats 50$/80$. There are a lot of clowns, even kids, on youtube earning serious money today...

but chris is retired, I know

Chris could make some money by doing that, but with a profit motive, over a period of time, Chris is a lot less funny and would have a lot less viewers. He'd burn out after a few months.

I mean, he might make some good money, but he could probably make more by selling drawings.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

He could do any number of menial jobs. The key is that he would need severe consequences for not working. He would also need very tight supervision. He's more intelligent than window licking glass sorters (just), but he also uses that limited intelligence for deviousness. Basically, he'd need to be treated like a small child, and supervised like a parent. If it came down to that, Chris might choose the freedom of homelessness. But like a child, he'd "run away from home" for a little bit, and an hour later, when he's STARVING and desperate, he might be more willing to listen to authority.

He would happily live the rest of his life with his face buried in a game. Control when he gets to have his games, and you could probably make him do anything you wanted.

 

[maninthepicklesuit]

Christian's relationship with work is identical to every other aspect of his life from his Love Quest, to selling on ebay, to entering stupid contests: he expects too much and gives too little.

Forgive me for belaboring the obvious, but there's just not much of a demand in the employment market for fat, autistic, untrainable trannies with entitlement issues. The long list of Christian Weston Chandler's personal shortcomings will disqualify him from the grand majority of jobs: he lacks specialized skills, he's dumb as dog shit, he's unhygienic, and he has zero work ethic.

Christian's lack of social skills due to autism is only the parsley garnish decorating that shit sandwich, so it's not his autism per se that's keeping him back. Someone else on the exactly same spot on the autism spectrum as Christian could find success by developing specialized skills in an industry that doesn't require heavy interaction with other people, like say computer programming or accounting.

With that said, what are the circumstances under which Christian would even want to join the work force? The Sonichu ebay auction shows that Christian at least has some rudimentary understanding of budgeting ("need money for debt relief...and also Legos!"), but he approaches his budget problem the same way he does any problem: by expending the minimum amount of effort and in the most gob-smackingly retarded way. Financial problems will never incentivize Christian to get a job, because he's deluded enough to think easy money is always around the corner, whether it be a Sonichu franchise or selling drawings on ebay at 1K each.

Even if you sent Christian back in time to be enslaved by Ancient Egyptians to build the Pyramids, I anticipate that they'd end up at a net loss because they'd have to pay a guy with a whip to force Christian to perform half-assed substandard labor. They'd be better off getting the guy to put his whip down, and then hiring him to do Christian's work.

 

[___]

The only way I ever see Chris getting any sort of traditional employment would be having a social worker, that he trusts, basically holding his hand through most of the process and his mother giving him the "emotional support" to do it.

Hypothetically if he was making money as a YouTube partner he would receive the money without taxes taken out. He would receive a 1099 tax form at the beginning of the year. He would absolutely need someone managing that money to make sure he saved enough to pay his taxes otherwise he'd most certainly blow it each month.