Chipmunk With A Banana
kiwifarms.net
During the 1980 election, Ronald Reagan pulled from his ass the concept of "Welfare Queens" and "strapping young bucks" who go around in expensive Cadillacs buying steaks and lobster with their Food Stamps. It resonated in the reptilian portions of the brain within many stupid people, and as a result, Reagan seized power.
Fast forward after forty years of "trickle down" economics, where the Middle Class has shrunk to near-extinction, our bridges are literally crumbling, and our schools don't even have toilet paper.
With a world as awful as this, who do the right wing blame for all this mess? Why, the "Welfare Queens" again, of course!
Enter one particular glory-whoring dolt named Jason Greenslate, aka "Food Stamp Surfer Dude". An idiot from a well-to-do family, who thinks that it's perpetually 1987, trying to make it into the big-time with his crappy metal band named "Ratt Life".
One day this doofus got it into his head that he needed to get his name into the media in order to promote his band. God knows how, but he was put in touch with the Hydra agents that operate Fox News, and the legend of "Food Stamp Surfer Dude" was born.
Naturally, the screen-staring geezers at home were horrified at the thought of this leech sucking at the teet of Uncle Sucker, and several politicians in high and low office exploited this hate by getting elected, and then beginning their pogrom against the poor.
So, because of some self-absorbed punk who actually thinks that his dogshit metal band (even the trademark holders of the RATT brand name don't think he's worth a lawsuit), millions of innocent kids across the country are going to go to bed hungry every night.
Next time you see some REAL AMERICAN belittling a single mother using her SNAP card to buy some food at the check-out line, think of Mister Greenslate and his willing participation in the demonization of a group of desperate people.
Fast forward after forty years of "trickle down" economics, where the Middle Class has shrunk to near-extinction, our bridges are literally crumbling, and our schools don't even have toilet paper.
With a world as awful as this, who do the right wing blame for all this mess? Why, the "Welfare Queens" again, of course!
Enter one particular glory-whoring dolt named Jason Greenslate, aka "Food Stamp Surfer Dude". An idiot from a well-to-do family, who thinks that it's perpetually 1987, trying to make it into the big-time with his crappy metal band named "Ratt Life".
One day this doofus got it into his head that he needed to get his name into the media in order to promote his band. God knows how, but he was put in touch with the Hydra agents that operate Fox News, and the legend of "Food Stamp Surfer Dude" was born.
Naturally, the screen-staring geezers at home were horrified at the thought of this leech sucking at the teet of Uncle Sucker, and several politicians in high and low office exploited this hate by getting elected, and then beginning their pogrom against the poor.
So, because of some self-absorbed punk who actually thinks that his dogshit metal band (even the trademark holders of the RATT brand name don't think he's worth a lawsuit), millions of innocent kids across the country are going to go to bed hungry every night.
Next time you see some REAL AMERICAN belittling a single mother using her SNAP card to buy some food at the check-out line, think of Mister Greenslate and his willing participation in the demonization of a group of desperate people.
