The Magniloquence of Christian Weston Chandler

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butt in trouble

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" GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS AS YOU FUCKING POSSIBLY CAN, I AM FUCKING STRAIGHT FOR WOMEN, THEIR VAGINAS, THEIR BREASTS, and most importantly, I AM STRAIGHT FOR THEIR INDIVIDUAL SWEETNESS."
 

Marvin

Christorical Figure
True & Honest Fan
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butt in trouble said:
" GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS AS YOU FUCKING POSSIBLY CAN, I AM FUCKING STRAIGHT FOR WOMEN, THEIR VAGINAS, THEIR BREASTS, and most importantly, I AM STRAIGHT FOR THEIR INDIVIDUAL SWEETNESS."
Haha, oh yeah, all normal, straight men get huge boners for sweetnesses, definitely. :pickle:
 

He Sets Me On Fire

says "Nope."
Retired Staff
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pickleniggo said:
"If she is willing to allow the pleasure, I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured. But I digress on that."
-[cwc]For_My_True_Love,_I_Would…[/cwc]

He uses "tickle her/my fancy" as a euphemism for foreplay, then violently "gives it to her" with all his pent-up frustration. BUT THEN HE DIGRESSES. Fuck's sake, when you break it down, it's kind of scary.

Oh, yeah. It also shows how heedlessly selfish he is. From what's left of his heart and soul after Megan cut him off, Chris is basically telling women everywhere that he would show his love by compelling them to give him a bj.

Of course, what woman wouldn't want to jump head-first into Chris's pants after his irresistible offer of " I'd take her to eat and provide for her to my ability. I'd start small at McDonalds, then let it get better in due time. " Form a line, ladies, form a line.
 

NobleGreyHorse

This thing here is called a custom title.
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Joined
Feb 28, 2013
He'd start small and bent anywhere he took someone. :pickle:

Personally, I've always been fond of his Forgiveness Blessing for Liquid:

"May this blessing, light your darkest hour, within your twisted mind, and make you come sane and clean. Until all are one. Forgiveness, bless-aing."

The last bit sounds weirdly like a Dr. Bronner's soap label -- and I say "weirdly" because the likelihood of Chris's ever having seen such a thing is low.
 

applecat

Prettiest Ween
True & Honest Fan
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He Sets Me On Fire said:
Oh, yeah. It also shows how heedlessly selfish he is. From what's left of his heart and soul after Megan cut him off, Chris is basically telling women everywhere that he would show his love by compelling them to give him a bj.

Of course, what woman wouldn't want to jump head-first into Chris's pants after his irresistible offer of " I'd take her to eat and provide for her to my ability. I'd start small at McDonalds, then let it get better in due time. " Form a line, ladies, form a line.

He'll work his way up from McDonalds to chicken and mashed potatoes by the time they get married!
 

pickleniggo

pickle enthusiast
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Joined
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applecat said:
He Sets Me On Fire said:
Oh, yeah. It also shows how heedlessly selfish he is. From what's left of his heart and soul after Megan cut him off, Chris is basically telling women everywhere that he would show his love by compelling them to give him a bj.

Of course, what woman wouldn't want to jump head-first into Chris's pants after his irresistible offer of " I'd take her to eat and provide for her to my ability. I'd start small at McDonalds, then let it get better in due time. " Form a line, ladies, form a line.

He'll work his way up from McDonalds to chicken and mashed potatoes by the time they get married!

Oh don't forget the green beans and fanta in wine glasses! :tomgirl:
 

applecat

Prettiest Ween
True & Honest Fan
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pickleniggo said:
applecat said:
He'll work his way up from McDonalds to chicken and mashed potatoes by the time they get married!

Oh don't forget the green beans and fanta in wine glasses! :tomgirl:

Followed by the chocolate puddings and Crayola-scribbled furry sex.
 

BigBoss

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Joined
May 8, 2013
The Boulder from the beginning of Indiana Jones said:
She mistook me for myself and we went home. I was late getting home from work that night, so Lovely and I did the do and it was awesome!

"Did the do."

Yeah.

:stupid:
 

DangDirtyTrolls

The man in the pickle suit tricked me once again
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Joined
May 20, 2013
Yawning Squirtle said:
I do wear glasses. Take it or leave it, losers! It helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... consume of.
(From CWC's second message)
Ah lord I do miss really early Chris-chan sometimes. If nothing else constantly making videos and chatting on the phone has helped Chris improve his communications skills if even only a little bit. I wonder how much he used to talk to people outside of his weekly Game Place gathering after he left high school but before he became known online. That could be several solid years of not really communicating with more than a handful of people a couple times a week.
 

pickleniggo

pickle enthusiast
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Joined
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DangDirtyTrolls said:
I wonder how much he used to talk to people outside of his weekly Game Place gathering after he left high school but before he became known online. That could be several solid years of not really communicating with more than a handful of people a couple times a week.

Well, there was also Anna and the Pac Sun crew who would apparently talk to him, but it's doubtful there was ever any significant conversation going on.
 

navydeckink

long time lurker
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king shit said:
I always found his portentous use of the English language to be one his more endearing traits, but it seems to be in short supply in the latest leak, but maybe that's just me?

I think it is the auto correct on whatever device he is using to type up those facebook updates.
 

Hyperion

D E A D
True & Honest Fan
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Apr 4, 2013
A view of the counter where behind which has its own Troublemakers.
:stupid:

All of the seinors who loyally come in for their daily morning bread would just itch for the chance to smack her ass and crack her china in due respect to the harassment she has butthurt unto them.
:pickle: :stupid: :pickle:
 

CatParty

Boo
Forum Staff
⚡ Thunderdomer ⚡
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As impossible as it may seem, to me he sounds dumber in writing.
 

Lester Freamon

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May 27, 2013
Yawning Squirtle said:
I do wear glasses. Take it or leave it, losers! It helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... consume of.
(From CWC's second message)

My absolute favorite, and the one that made me a CWC fan. When I first heard that while watching that video I felt weirdly elated, and knew I was watching something very special. How could anyone have said that yet still uploaded that video? Me and Chris, we've never looked back. Cloud Ten? I feel like I'm on Cloud Nine.
 

Male

This guy fucks!
True & Honest Fan
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Zim said:
Reading Cwcspeak is like reading a giant barrel of poetry that's been mixed up and then reassembled with magnets on a refridgerator by people who are still learning english.
Shakespere+autism=Cwcism.
 
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