The Magniloquence of Christian Weston Chandler

[butt in trouble]

" GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS AS YOU FUCKING POSSIBLY CAN, I AM FUCKING STRAIGHT FOR WOMEN, THEIR VAGINAS, THEIR BREASTS, and most importantly, I AM STRAIGHT FOR THEIR INDIVIDUAL SWEETNESS."

 

[Marvin]

" GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS AS YOU FUCKING POSSIBLY CAN, I AM FUCKING STRAIGHT FOR WOMEN, THEIR VAGINAS, THEIR BREASTS, and most importantly, I AM STRAIGHT FOR THEIR INDIVIDUAL SWEETNESS."

Haha, oh yeah, all normal, straight men get huge boners for sweetnesses, definitely.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

"If she is willing to allow the pleasure, I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured. But I digress on that."
-[cwc]For_My_True_Love,_I_Would…[/cwc]

He uses "tickle her/my fancy" as a euphemism for foreplay, then violently "gives it to her" with all his pent-up frustration. BUT THEN HE DIGRESSES. Fuck's sake, when you break it down, it's kind of scary.

Oh, yeah. It also shows how heedlessly selfish he is. From what's left of his heart and soul after Megan cut him off, Chris is basically telling women everywhere that he would show his love by compelling them to give him a bj.

Of course, what woman wouldn't want to jump head-first into Chris's pants after his irresistible offer of " I'd take her to eat and provide for her to my ability. I'd start small at McDonalds, then let it get better in due time. " Form a line, ladies, form a line.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

He'd start small and bent anywhere he took someone.

Personally, I've always been fond of his Forgiveness Blessing for Liquid:

"May this blessing, light your darkest hour, within your twisted mind, and make you come sane and clean. Until all are one. Forgiveness, bless-aing."

The last bit sounds weirdly like a Dr. Bronner's soap label -- and I say "weirdly" because the likelihood of Chris's ever having seen such a thing is low.

 

[applecat]

Oh, yeah. It also shows how heedlessly selfish he is. From what's left of his heart and soul after Megan cut him off, Chris is basically telling women everywhere that he would show his love by compelling them to give him a bj.

Of course, what woman wouldn't want to jump head-first into Chris's pants after his irresistible offer of " I'd take her to eat and provide for her to my ability. I'd start small at McDonalds, then let it get better in due time. " Form a line, ladies, form a line.

He'll work his way up from McDonalds to chicken and mashed potatoes by the time they get married!

 

[pickleniggo]

Oh, yeah. It also shows how heedlessly selfish he is. From what's left of his heart and soul after Megan cut him off, Chris is basically telling women everywhere that he would show his love by compelling them to give him a bj.

Of course, what woman wouldn't want to jump head-first into Chris's pants after his irresistible offer of " I'd take her to eat and provide for her to my ability. I'd start small at McDonalds, then let it get better in due time. " Form a line, ladies, form a line.

He'll work his way up from McDonalds to chicken and mashed potatoes by the time they get married!

Oh don't forget the green beans and fanta in wine glasses!

 

[applecat]

He'll work his way up from McDonalds to chicken and mashed potatoes by the time they get married!

Oh don't forget the green beans and fanta in wine glasses!

Followed by the chocolate puddings and Crayola-scribbled furry sex.

 

[BigBoss]

She mistook me for myself and we went home. I was late getting home from work that night, so Lovely and I did the do and it was awesome!

"Did the do."

Yeah.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

I do wear glasses. Take it or leave it, losers! It helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... consume of.

(From CWC's second message)

Ah lord I do miss really early Chris-chan sometimes. If nothing else constantly making videos and chatting on the phone has helped Chris improve his communications skills if even only a little bit. I wonder how much he used to talk to people outside of his weekly Game Place gathering after he left high school but before he became known online. That could be several solid years of not really communicating with more than a handful of people a couple times a week.

 

[pickleniggo]

I wonder how much he used to talk to people outside of his weekly Game Place gathering after he left high school but before he became known online. That could be several solid years of not really communicating with more than a handful of people a couple times a week.

Well, there was also Anna and the Pac Sun crew who would apparently talk to him, but it's doubtful there was ever any significant conversation going on.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

The Destruction was as real as the tiresome humping with the tainted machine in that old video I was blackmailed into doing and record.

 

[navydeckink]

I always found his portentous use of the English language to be one his more endearing traits, but it seems to be in short supply in the latest leak, but maybe that's just me?

I think it is the auto correct on whatever device he is using to type up those facebook updates.

 

[Hyperion]

A view of the counter where behind which has its own Troublemakers.

All of the seinors who loyally come in for their daily morning bread would just itch for the chance to smack her ass and crack her china in due respect to the harassment she has butthurt unto them.

 

[Himawari]

My favorite.

I do not care much that you refer to me as "benevolent"; it sounds derogatory.

 

[CatParty]

As impossible as it may seem, to me he sounds dumber in writing.

 

[Lester Freamon]

I do wear glasses. Take it or leave it, losers! It helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... consume of.

(From CWC's second message)

My absolute favorite, and the one that made me a CWC fan. When I first heard that while watching that video I felt weirdly elated, and knew I was watching something very special. How could anyone have said that yet still uploaded that video? Me and Chris, we've never looked back. Cloud Ten? I feel like I'm on Cloud Nine.

 

[Hyperion]

I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

 

[Christ-Chan]

I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

Source?

 

[Marvin]

I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

Heh, when did he say this?

 

[Male]

Reading Cwcspeak is like reading a giant barrel of poetry that's been mixed up and then reassembled with magnets on a refridgerator by people who are still learning english.

Shakespere+autism=Cwcism.