Speaking with lolcows, especially in their native environment, can be difficult. Take for example Jay Geis. Jay hangs around DeviantArt and rarely, if ever, goes elsewhere. He has the ability to control comments on it, and as such, ruthlessly uses such ability to stifle any discussion on him in his own environment.
This is not a trait unique to Jay, and it's seen amongst many lolcows. Our own Christian Weston Chandler uses similar tactics on sites he frequents to create his own autistic echo-chamber. Getting any kind of response on issues, with this in mind, is a very difficult prospect - how do you deal with them when they're likely to ban you or lock onto you as a troll if you try to bring something uncomfortable up for discussion, even if it's to their benefit?
The answer, of course, is what I have dubbed the Moleman9000 Gambit. Named for the infamous lolcow of the same name, it relies on a very simple form of logic - if you are respectful and handle yourself well, whilst at the same time being civic-minded, you can often get away with a much more biting post than you would otherwise. The tactic first became a "thing" during a thread in which Moleman was viciously defending Twilight, when I chimed in with a respectful post that whilst I respected his beliefs about a given story, I objectively disagreed with some of his defense and gave examples, whilst at the same time acknowledging his points. The result was an oddity amongst Moleman posts - a respectful disagreement in which Moleman actually responded with some level of rational response, not often seen in discussions with him.
A lot of this, I've come to realize, is that I've learned a few things working with special-needs kids for about a decade now. But I digress.
Using this simple form of post creation, you too can create posts that have the ability to get some nugget of information out of a lolcow without necessarily making them feel threatened - a critical prospect for anyone trying to do so. It's important that you do not misuse such tactics - the Moleman9000 Gambit only works for information retrieval, and it loses any and all use if mishandled. If you fuck it up, we officially disavow any knowledge of your actions.
Anyway. There are only a few simple steps involved, so let's begin:
HOW TO INTO LOGIC WITH LOLCOWS:
Just like how there's different kinds of people, there's many kinds of lolcows, with a wide variety of differences between them. It's easy to say, lock onto someone like Jay and point out the countless ways he's analogous to our Autistic Hero and forget that he's a very different beast (after all, Jay's arguably a pedophile). The thing is, each lolcow is human at the end of the day - even if a deeply, irretrievably flawed one - and as such, each of them has their own hopes, dreams, desires, secret racist opinions, and so on.
Most of these are irrelevant for the Moleman9000 Gambit, but one of these is critical. Each lolcow reacts to different levels of hostility very differently. Chris, for example, can essentially be called retarded to his face and will have the same reaction as addressed kindly, because Chris is a recalcitrant fucker for whom logic and reason are considered bugs and not features.
Conversely, however, lolcows that aren't Autist Prime can be reasoned with and talked to. The key is understanding their "respect breakpoints," and understanding exactly what level on what CWC called the sliding scale of respect to what part questioning yields the best results for a given lolcow. Rarely is this an automatic success, though you will get better at it with experience. For a better grasp of lolcow breakpoints, here's some things that will and won't work for some:
JAY:
Direct confrontation and cold logic will virtually never work with Jay. Ever. Even if they're irrefutable, Jay will never acknowledge them and is likely to block them outright if they're not worded well. To contrast, I've managed to repeatedly get information out of him by burying it under praise or information posts that he'd actually want to get. These usually cause Jay to respond, often quite enthusiastically, and in practice I've found him much more willing to give information about things if you handle it this way. It's not 100% reliable, mind - there's just some stuff he won't talk about - but it's reliable enough to be of use where force, bluster, and Obamatron fail.
MOLEMAN9000:
The ur-example. Say what you will about Moleman - he's a veteran of flame wars and he handles himself accordingly. He will not hesitate to turn hostile or even aggressive if provoked, and he has no restraint when he throws himself into the fray of internet battle, though most acknowledge that his is less a berserker assault and more impotent bawling. Still, Moleman can be reasoned with and, if properly cared for in such a situation, can actually be almost oddly reasonable. In the image I've attached, you can see that whilst openly insulting Twilight accomplished the usual goal of provoking a humorous Moleman Rage assault, my post, which arguably was more barbed than the above, got a reasoned response and, to my surprise, an up-vote from Moleman himself. The key on Moleman, thus, is to not lose your cool, should you be trying to reason with him, and instead work from a point where you're recognizing any merits of his argument (provided he has any), and going from there. This is not always possible, as any fan of Moleman knows, but it is doable in some situations.
So right here we have the "respect breakpoints' for Jay and Moleman. As you can see, these two couldn't really be more different in MO. Jay seeks approval, but also information, and can be reasoned with through that, whilst Moleman is at least smart enough to respond accordingly to someone who can discuss things with him as an intellectual equal (note that if he's repeatedly thwarted, he's likely to lash out, as is the norm for his subspecies).
Most lolcows have some kind of similar methodology for getting them to be more responsive.
Note, however, that not all lolcows have these. As has been discussed, Chris has no breakpoint, because anyone not a close personal friend(tm) of CWC is automatically a JERK. Others, such as the Wogglebug girl, are too ornery and too agenda-driven to allow themselves to talk about things. But many of them aren't, and the ones that aren't can be talked into giving much more info just by using the method described.
I hope this post proves useful to you guys.
This is not a trait unique to Jay, and it's seen amongst many lolcows. Our own Christian Weston Chandler uses similar tactics on sites he frequents to create his own autistic echo-chamber. Getting any kind of response on issues, with this in mind, is a very difficult prospect - how do you deal with them when they're likely to ban you or lock onto you as a troll if you try to bring something uncomfortable up for discussion, even if it's to their benefit?
The answer, of course, is what I have dubbed the Moleman9000 Gambit. Named for the infamous lolcow of the same name, it relies on a very simple form of logic - if you are respectful and handle yourself well, whilst at the same time being civic-minded, you can often get away with a much more biting post than you would otherwise. The tactic first became a "thing" during a thread in which Moleman was viciously defending Twilight, when I chimed in with a respectful post that whilst I respected his beliefs about a given story, I objectively disagreed with some of his defense and gave examples, whilst at the same time acknowledging his points. The result was an oddity amongst Moleman posts - a respectful disagreement in which Moleman actually responded with some level of rational response, not often seen in discussions with him.
A lot of this, I've come to realize, is that I've learned a few things working with special-needs kids for about a decade now. But I digress.
Using this simple form of post creation, you too can create posts that have the ability to get some nugget of information out of a lolcow without necessarily making them feel threatened - a critical prospect for anyone trying to do so. It's important that you do not misuse such tactics - the Moleman9000 Gambit only works for information retrieval, and it loses any and all use if mishandled. If you fuck it up, we officially disavow any knowledge of your actions.
Anyway. There are only a few simple steps involved, so let's begin:
HOW TO INTO LOGIC WITH LOLCOWS:
Just like how there's different kinds of people, there's many kinds of lolcows, with a wide variety of differences between them. It's easy to say, lock onto someone like Jay and point out the countless ways he's analogous to our Autistic Hero and forget that he's a very different beast (after all, Jay's arguably a pedophile). The thing is, each lolcow is human at the end of the day - even if a deeply, irretrievably flawed one - and as such, each of them has their own hopes, dreams, desires, secret racist opinions, and so on.
Most of these are irrelevant for the Moleman9000 Gambit, but one of these is critical. Each lolcow reacts to different levels of hostility very differently. Chris, for example, can essentially be called retarded to his face and will have the same reaction as addressed kindly, because Chris is a recalcitrant fucker for whom logic and reason are considered bugs and not features.
Conversely, however, lolcows that aren't Autist Prime can be reasoned with and talked to. The key is understanding their "respect breakpoints," and understanding exactly what level on what CWC called the sliding scale of respect to what part questioning yields the best results for a given lolcow. Rarely is this an automatic success, though you will get better at it with experience. For a better grasp of lolcow breakpoints, here's some things that will and won't work for some:
JAY:
Direct confrontation and cold logic will virtually never work with Jay. Ever. Even if they're irrefutable, Jay will never acknowledge them and is likely to block them outright if they're not worded well. To contrast, I've managed to repeatedly get information out of him by burying it under praise or information posts that he'd actually want to get. These usually cause Jay to respond, often quite enthusiastically, and in practice I've found him much more willing to give information about things if you handle it this way. It's not 100% reliable, mind - there's just some stuff he won't talk about - but it's reliable enough to be of use where force, bluster, and Obamatron fail.
MOLEMAN9000:
The ur-example. Say what you will about Moleman - he's a veteran of flame wars and he handles himself accordingly. He will not hesitate to turn hostile or even aggressive if provoked, and he has no restraint when he throws himself into the fray of internet battle, though most acknowledge that his is less a berserker assault and more impotent bawling. Still, Moleman can be reasoned with and, if properly cared for in such a situation, can actually be almost oddly reasonable. In the image I've attached, you can see that whilst openly insulting Twilight accomplished the usual goal of provoking a humorous Moleman Rage assault, my post, which arguably was more barbed than the above, got a reasoned response and, to my surprise, an up-vote from Moleman himself. The key on Moleman, thus, is to not lose your cool, should you be trying to reason with him, and instead work from a point where you're recognizing any merits of his argument (provided he has any), and going from there. This is not always possible, as any fan of Moleman knows, but it is doable in some situations.
So right here we have the "respect breakpoints' for Jay and Moleman. As you can see, these two couldn't really be more different in MO. Jay seeks approval, but also information, and can be reasoned with through that, whilst Moleman is at least smart enough to respond accordingly to someone who can discuss things with him as an intellectual equal (note that if he's repeatedly thwarted, he's likely to lash out, as is the norm for his subspecies).
Most lolcows have some kind of similar methodology for getting them to be more responsive.
Note, however, that not all lolcows have these. As has been discussed, Chris has no breakpoint, because anyone not a close personal friend(tm) of CWC is automatically a JERK. Others, such as the Wogglebug girl, are too ornery and too agenda-driven to allow themselves to talk about things. But many of them aren't, and the ones that aren't can be talked into giving much more info just by using the method described.
I hope this post proves useful to you guys.
