The Most Autistic Dream You've Ever Had

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LordofTendons

Demigod of Peace
True & Honest Fan
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May 2, 2017
-An episode of Buffy the Vampire slayer, including music score, that had Buffy fighting an army of demon squirrels with little red glowing eyes.

-An alien invasion in the dark of night, and I was dating Charlie Sheen. The aliens were moving in and we were under heavy fire, and all the people around me could do was nag me about dating Charlie Sheen. I kept asking them if they could please focus on the problem at hand, but oh fucking no, they had to keep questioning my personal life. I never actually saw Charlie Sheen or aliens in this dream. Just green glowing ships and a bunch of idiots I knew in real life.
 

Dimetrodon

Not a reptile or a mammal
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Joined
Sep 19, 2019
Had a dream where I got into an argument with someone about whether a game ran at 60 FPS or not. It's almost like Total Biscuit sent me that dream from the after life.
 

King Daddy Telomerase

Let me tell you the potential of my balls.
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Dec 13, 2019
Sudoku puzzles and various numerical statistics rotating around me, which is what I dream every night. Asperger's is fun. At least it's better than constantly dreaming about my oneitis.
 

Webby's Boyfriend

reality cartoonist
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Aug 18, 2018
I had two nightmares when I was a kid which I still remember up to today.

The first one was like when I was in grade school in like the early 2000s when I dreamed that I was chasen around my town by monsters. Then it came to a showdown with their leader who was tens of metres tall and a flying chimaera of a manta ray and bat. It made me fear falling asleep for weeks.

The second one was like over 10 years ago, in like the late 2000s, when we had just moved to a new home. It was about a meteor impact in my neighbourhood, which caused a global EMP and total collapse of human civilization.
 

Timmy Testicles

all balls, no dick
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Joined
Aug 7, 2019
a few months back i had a dream where i was at the zoo with some friends and family, near a gorilla enclosure. for whatever reason the door was unlocked, so we all went inside. we took a bunch of pictures and shit but on the way out, i saw a tiny gorilla on a leaf. like, a full grown gorilla. but it's an inch tall. i couldn't stop laughing, i thought it was the funniest shit ever. i actually can't remember anything else because i couldn't stop laughing at the tiny ape.
 
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Plunkie

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Joined
Dec 19, 2017
A friend's husband dies in some unfortunate freezing accident in a refrigerated warehouse that's under construction but semi-functional. Me and a friend pull a Gram Parsons-esque heist by pretending to be construction workers in order to recover his body. Frozen solid in a cube of ice, this guy looks like Stephen Paddock but he owns a line of frozen food items and is the face of all their advertisements. We shove the Paddock-cube in a cardboard box, strap it to my back, and jump down a series of construction cranes to get back to the ground. Halfway through the trip we get distracted by a restaurant called Melt's that will deep-fry anything you give them. I hand them my police badge(?) and they give me a bowl of chili
 

saisegeha

motel money buffet madness
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Joined
Jun 30, 2019
I had a dream where my neighbor came over (he's quite the crackhead) because he wanted to borrow some cacao powder.
I let him in but told him "whoever dares to take my cacao shall give me something in return" so I told him to put his hand on my kitchen table, which he did. I got out a knife and cut his index finger off, he started screaming "what the hell are you doing I just wanted to make some chocolate milk" and I go "shhh, one finger per spoon" – this then went on with me taking 8 of his fingers and bandaging his hands, giving him the entire box of cacao powder.

...later that dream there was some sort of *30 minutes later* skip where I knocked on his door with scissors and then the dream ended.
I have no fucking idea why that dream happened, but I'll never eat steak like 10 minutes before bed again.
 

AnaV

I fell for bait and should get capital punishment
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Joined
May 7, 2020
As a kid, I once had a dream where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looked all fucked up, hunted me down and killed me, on the Fourth of July.
 

NARPASSWORD

The furry shemale with the Star Fox avatars
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Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Just last night, I had a nightmare that went like this:
I was part of a secret organization dedicated to "putting a stop to psycho bitches everywhere". Me and my blue purple furred kangaroo partner were tasked on putting a stop to Tara Strong's Twitter and Uber misadventures. We decided that the best course was to drop in unannounced to a party hosted by Tara and included several members of PETA and ANTIFA. Unfortunately, my kangaroo partner was kidnapped and brainwashed by Tara, who told her what our plan was before I could act on it; I then got captured by Tara's cohorts of Twitter followers and then force to watch My Little Pony to teach me about the evils of Trump. That was when I woke up.
Also, Tara Strong ate her own shit.
 

Queen_Ree

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
The other night I was woken up abruptly by a loud sneeze and the dream I was having at the time was me in a panic trying to figure out who neg rated me on the dream version of Kiwi Farms.
Told you it was autistic @Bender
 

Bender

I am not a threat. I'm an idiot.
True & Honest Fan
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Joined
May 24, 2019
The other night I was woken up abruptly by a loud sneeze and the dream I was having at the time was me in a panic trying to figure out who neg rated me on the dream version of Kiwi Farms.
Told you it was autistic @Bender
To be fair apparently a few people had autistic dreams about the Farms, but you're the only one to dream about getting negrated though, lol.
 

Yaoi Huntress Earth

My avatar is problematic.
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Joined
Jul 12, 2014
I had one where modern Chris-Chan was trying to play pranks at me at a gas station, but I kept outsmarting him. That's when I get a message to stall him/her so I notice that Chris is hiding in a box of cereal. I tell Chris what a loser he/she is and while some cops run into a room and free four females that Chris had captured (one woman, 3 girls). That's when the cops arrest Chris and let me read him his rights.
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

Brain open for rental(rent free)
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Joined
Sep 7, 2016
I once dreamed that I volunteered for Brianna Wu's archeological expedition after losing a drunken bet the night before. I was hungover and decided to dress like a woman. The whole thing was a shit show, they had no planning or equipment. When I arrived Wu was walking around and stabbing the lawn next to a high school football field with a tree branch, trying to [???] while Frank watched. Wu was looking for Plato's lost tablet, why it would be in Boston I don't know. I took some initiative and took Frank to one of those stores that sells construction materials and garden stuff so he could pay for some shovels and other basic shit.
At the end of the dream Wu attacked me because he thought I was trying to seduce his celestial pay-pig but I was actually trying to take a nap on the cool concrete floor of a shack.
 

Solid Snek

True & Honest Fan
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Joined
Jul 11, 2020
I had a dream where I was on Deviantart, looking up pictures of my waifu. I found a whole bunch of new ones, really great ones that all had at least 90% or more of the elements that I look for in fanart of my waifu - only I couldn't save them because the network was being finicky. Also, I was logged in on a private browser, so my history wasn't saved, and I was all "oh no, if I don't save these now, I'll never find them again!"

I actually started waking up IRL at this point, and I got really panicky, because I knew if I woke up and stopped the dream, I'd never see those pix again. So I forced myself to stay in bed and fall asleep again - which sort of worked, only now I was in a doujin shop, buying rolls of waifu fanart out of a bin, and I obviously couldn't save those to my harddrive, because they were prints and not computer files. So I gave up, and after trying to convince a squirrel to locate my sister (who had turned into a half-demogorgon and was trying to murder either Johnny Depp or that guy who played Hannibal for some reason) I let myself wake up.

Of course, I forgot what the pictures looked like a minute or two after waking, which was sad... then I noticed this thread on Kiwi Farms, and here we are.
 

737 MAX Stan Account

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Joined
Jan 19, 2020
I vaguely remember having a dream about driving a crime fighting mustang. Probably because my mind is subconsciously trying to justify buying a mustang.
 

Bender

I am not a threat. I'm an idiot.
True & Honest Fan
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Joined
May 24, 2019
My tablets are really fucking with me, I'm having an allergic reaction to one of them, so my dreams are kinda weird.

Literally "dreaming" of random KF threads where users just talk nonsense. I'm not even asleep, it's when I'm laying in bed and being all comfy, and then random posts (that my brain made up) just pop into my head. It's quite annoying but often they're pretty funny. The problem is they just won't stop and it keeps me awake when I just want to sleep.