The Most Autistic Dream You've Ever Had

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Gravemind

Not your grave, but you are welcome in it
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Jun 1, 2020
Recently had a dream that was themed as a Star Trek TOS-era episode, and I was beamed down to a planet with an away team to conduct an exploration. I somehow got separated from my team and abducted by this weird coven of ratty-looking hags and little girls, who did nothing but act irritatingly patronizing, like everything was some kind of weird kid's show and I was their sole, unwilling audience member. I kept giving snarky responses, to which they kept giving childish answers, and, for some reason, I suddenly became self-aware like I had "seen" this episode before, which prompted the coven to call for some male helpers, who had faces covered in gold glitter and shit, to come and help them perform a facial makeover on me just like they had. I immediately nope'd, grabbed my hip phaser, started blasting several of the girls and a couple of the women, smacked the lead hag in the face when she came at me, then took her as a hostage, pulled her over to some console overlooking a window, and I distinctly recall partially waking up and actually feeling myself say out loud the words: "Look, I'm sorry that I hit you, but let me make one thing clear: You don't fuck with me, and I don't fuck with you. Got it?" Then I ordered her to disable some kind of jamming device they were using on their hideout so the ship could lock onto my communicator and beam me back aboard, and then I woke up slightly after that.

I think the premise and setup of the dream was really autistic, but the ensuing action was cool. I'm not sure how it feels to have a lucid dream, but is this sort of how it works? When your own brain becomes self-aware of the imagined absurdity and you're suddenly able to take charge of the whole thing?
 

Broseph

Just wanted her sweet can
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Apr 6, 2015
Early this morning I had this extremely autistic dream that I was walking down a street in my neighborhood after dark and I kept receiving a phone call, only I realized that it was not my phone that was ringing but something in my pocket, so I kept jumbling around and pulling out random things one after the other like in a cartoon until I pulled out a perfectly preserved gum wrapper that was glowing blue and emitting the call. I uh...pressed the "button" and started talking into the gum wrapper like it was on speaker phone. I don't remember the conversation after that since I woke up shortly after.

I have no idea what the fuck would make me think of something like that.
 
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Drain Todger

Unhinged Doomsayer
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Mar 1, 2020
A lot of my dreams are architectural and focus on strange abandoned buildings. One of my favorites from a couple decades ago was this one where I was in a great big library. The building was highly modern and stadium-shaped. You know, like an oval, but flattened on the sides. It looked kind of like the Chevron Building but shorter and more broad. Maybe ten or eleven stories.

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It had a giant atrium in the middle and only modest floor space as a result. The bookcases were essentially wrapped around the outer walls. The place was totally abandoned and the giant five-acre parking lot surrounding it (which was completely free of any vegetation or barriers except way out at the edges of the plot) was empty of any cars.

When I got outside, that was when the real fun began. A truck with a trailer pulled up and we unloaded a hovercraft.

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What do you do with a hovercraft and a big empty parking lot? :smug:
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

The tasteful spring treat. 🥝🥧🐈
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A lot of my dreams are architectural and focus on strange abandoned buildings.
I've had a couple of dreams about abandoned buildings, one of which was a bit spooky. It involved what seemed to be an abandoned church that had sentimental value to my mom for some unspecified reason. Entering the building, however, there was extensive water damage from what seemed to be a hole in the corner of the roof.

Several years later, I discovered urbex-style pictures of a long-demolished church that had been abandoned for years and some of the pictures of its interior seemed creepily similar to the interior of the abandoned church in my dream.

In the second dream, there used to be an abandoned school (later torn down for a strip mall) in the area and I drove there for what was to be a pick-up basketball game being played as the last event to take place before the building was closed for good and torn down. For being abandoned, the school, and its gym/locker room were in better shape than I expected. Once I changed clothes and walked onto the court for warm-ups, though, I learned the game was going to be co-ed as a female rival was also warming up. Sadly, I woke up before the game started. *sigh*
 

Honk Hill

I’m doped out of my gourd!
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Apr 14, 2021
That I signed up on and started posting on a forum ran by some chubby cheeked guy whose mom clearly drank during pregnancy.
 

Ms. 45

Gimme a pigfoot and a bottle of beer
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Nov 24, 2021
I bought a Laura Palmer Funko Pop. I would have preferred one of those big Japanese body pillows that looked like Laura Palmer, so I could fuck it, but I don't think the zips like anything that's not anime related.

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Tactical Neural Implant

just wants a TimeSplitters HD trilogy
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Nov 4, 2021
Mine is from 7 or 8 years ago but I still remember it perfectly. I normally instantly forget my dreams, although I do often dream about the same places. Those impossible places that, in your dream is a particular area, like your house, and you perceive it as such, but when you wake up you realise it looked nothing like your house.

Anyway, so it's this 50s stereotype family, like the dad in the suit, the mum in the dress and little Billy and Sally with the freckles and such. Except they live in this dome like house, almost like a hobbit house from LOTR, except its all one room, with the dining table in the middle and all the beds around the edges. It's also all an earthy quality, sort of like an igloo, but made out of dirt. They're having breakfast, the mum is serving it up, and the kids and husband are eating.

Transition to: it's the dead of night and I'm walking through a super dense forest with Jukka and Jarppi from the Dudesons. Even though it's pitch black and a fucking forest, apparently it's a thoroughfare for students to get to university. So we pop out from between trees, pushing them aside and scaring the shit out of the students as they pass, pissing ourselves laughing.

So we push another two trees apart, but this time on the other side it's a kind of portal into the 50s family's house. They have a picture of a dense forest at night on their wall and that's the portal we are looking through.

The daughter notices us peering through and absolutely shits herself. Like screaming like a banshee, her face goes pale, her mouth is almost completely twisted in fear, while mum, dad and son have no idea what she's so scared of and fail in an attempt to console her.

Then it cuts back to the beginning of the forest scares, and this time when we peer through to the 50s family, all of them see us and start losing their shit, screaming and pointing. It's truly awful.

Anyway that's how the dream ends. I'd love to see what a dream interpreter failing to rationalise any fucking part of it. Still fills me with a mixture of dread and hilarity when I think about it.
 

Kermit Jizz

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Feb 1, 2021
I just had a dream that qualifies for this thread. Been watching a lot of Wings of Redemption content lately, ended up dreaming I met him irl. I called him a fat faggot and he killed himself on the spot. This was all on stream so I ended up being the new lolcow of the Wings thread.
 

sasazuka

Standing in the school hallway.
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Jun 11, 2014
I dreamt that I was watching over-the-air television on the old Casio/Radio Shack Portavision mini cathode ray tube colour TV I have that I sometimes use as a monitor for videogames. Then, in my dream, I realized the problem: how could I be watching over-the-air television on it when it was made in the late 1990s and TV stations in 2022 no longer broadcast in analogue?

I think in my dream I reasoned that it must have been made with a built-in ATSC digital tuner even though I don't think any NTSC televisions made circa 1998 could also pick up ATSC.

I actually could watch over-the-air television on it in real life since I do have a converter box but I wouldn't want to since the resolution is already low (even for a 5" screen) and the letterbox cropping the converter box adds to the image would reduce the effective resolution even further.
 

Broseph

Just wanted her sweet can
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Apr 6, 2015
I just dreamt that Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins trooned out. What makes it even more autistic is that I checked wikipedia after I woke up to see if it was true.
 

murph

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May 8, 2021
I was flying around trying to make lasagna. You had to collect the pasta sheets from various places and bring them back to make the lasagna layers. There were points involved.

Maybe I do play too many grindy video games.
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

The tasteful spring treat. 🥝🥧🐈
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Jun 11, 2018
I have a lot of vivid dreams that operate on video game mechanics, like dying and repeatedly respawning.
In junior high or high school, I had a dream I was playing some sort of weird arcade video game where you had to disarm various hoodlums before they used their weapon of choice to kill you. In-game, I died despite it looking like I yanked the sledgehammer away from one such hoodlum and I said, "But I grabbed it away!" out loud in frustration

The character, a rather large intimidating woman, appeared out of the thin air next to me and said, "No you didn't, I hit you first."

The remainder of my in-game deaths also featured the characters coming to life to either explain how they killed me or to taunt me about my lack of success against them.
 

Drain Todger

Unhinged Doomsayer
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Mar 1, 2020
I fell into a deep REM sleep last night. I dreamed I was in the 2030s, stocking shelves in a goddamn grocery store. A security guard at the grocery store has caught me. He shows me and my coworkers footage he grabbed on a security footage exchange of me entering various under-construction skyscrapers downtown and vandalizing them by throwing things and breaking glass. Everyone's looking at me like a leper for defying the megacorp charter that replaced our Constitution by damaging corpo property.

A little bit later, a wealthy entrepreneur gets in touch with me. He informs me the necessary bribes have been paid and all the charges are dropped, and he wants me involved in a project of his to build ranges where habitually angry people (who, by now, constitute a large percentage of the population) can break hanging glass panes and other stuff with shot put balls, legally, without being charged with vandalism.

As I leave our first meeting, a bunch of white trash dudes with chiseled jaws, tousled hair, and hooded baby blue eyes who look like 80s movie villains pull up next to me in a big red International Harvester pickup that is by then about fifty or sixty years old, and offer to take me to a strip club. I decline their offer to go party. Turns out, one of the girls at the after-party ODed and the cops (who, in this timeline, have been replaced by yet more corpo private security goons) suspected foul play.

Something falls to the floor in the bathroom. I wake up. I fumble for my phone and load up KF. The first thread I see is "Vulva Spaceship". For a few moments, I'm not sure if I'm actually awake yet.
 

Shidoen

... .--. .- -.-. . / -. .. --. --. . .-. ... --..-
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Oct 20, 2021
I usually have intense nightmares but one had a very skinny, lanky skeleton monster pick up a baby by it’s head and play with it like it would an airplane. I just wanted to go back to the horrifying stuff I usually see.
 

The Lawgiver

THE LONGER THE ICON OF SIN IS ON EARTH THE STRONGE
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Jun 4, 2015
The most autistic but kinda cool dreamsI ever had were the ones when I was a small child. See, when I was a small child I somehow convinced myself when I went to sleep and dreamed shit I was tapping into another dimension and through this I somehow ended up getting whatever part of your brain runs the dream simulation shit to just bug out and have a constantly running narrative throughout my dreams. Most involved like fucking dimensional merge/sonichu ass tier crossovers and it's been a long ass time since these happened, like I'm talking DECADES now. Fuck, the AOSTH sonic and tails would frequently show up from time to time as characters in the lore and look like some shit out of fucking roger rabbit. One scene that I can't even fucking remember what led to it was child me and Freddy fucking Kreuger of all people just chilling. Like he wasn't trying to murder me or anything, he was threatening to at first but then we became like weird friends or something IIRC. I can't remember if that one was before or after the consistent narrative and world stuff stopped. I literally had a fucking map above my bed I drew with some fucking crayons and colored pencil orsome shit back then but I got NO fucking clue where that paper is now.

Most of my dreams the last 10 years have been nothing special or wild and it bothers me. The only one that was an anomaly amongst these was one that I forgot the details of after waking up other than the fact it was a completely mundane dream save for the fact a fucking fictional ass character was real and in some place I went to like some kinda 7/11 or convenience or grocery store looking place. Weirdest shit though was they acted like the character when I had no idea what the character even acted like as I hadn'tgotten around tothe part ofthe thing the character appeared in even. That's the first time shits happened like that in fucking YEARS. Fictional character being in a dream, I mean. That and the weird prophetic/deja vu kinda shit.

My weirdly elaborate plot-heavy dreams whenever I can remember them are always odd shit but nothing reaches the level of autism that the"dream dimension" saga of dreams was. There was an area where Misty from pokemon was just on fire constantly and screaming in pain and it was like one of those cursed kinda visions you weren't supposed to look at for too long, that's what kinda weird fucking lore existed in those "dream dimension" kinda dreams.

I'm tired as shit and my keyboard is dying, I'm too lazy to keep editing backin the spaces and fixing the typos I missed. I'm gonna fucking just conk out in a bit honestly.