The Retail Horror Thread 2: More Tales to Chill your Bones -

Autumnal Equinox

Sing or I'll go home and kill all your mommies
kiwifarms.net
Not a horror story, but more of a dafuk? story...

I was grabbing a few things last night, had some guy come huffing and puffing up to me and snap "you can't use our bathroom right now! It's out of service!"

I was nowhere near the bathrooms, and I try not to use public restrooms if possible. Hadn't so much as glanced at the bathrooms when I came in. Kind of taken aback at his tone of voice regardless. Told him "I wasn't planning on using the restroom anyway" and he stress sighs like Chris and waddled off.

As much as customers can be assholes, employees can be just as autistic at times too. I guess putting a simple out of order sign on the door was just too much of a big brained thought for him.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Hard to say, but it might have something to do with him twisting and turning to reach some veggies. There should be three people working the sandwich line, but this time there was only two.
I'm calling insurance fraud on this one tbh.
 
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DatBepisTho

Cryptid Farmer
kiwifarms.net
I once had a guy in a marines hat scream at me about giving him fives and ones instead of twenties. Even after I explained I didn't have them, showed him my till and explained I can't get them from the vault. He called me a liar and continued to scream about not coming back. All this over not getting his change back in-I shit you not- forty nine bucks and a quarter in twenties.


-Dipshit couldn't read the "not an exit sign" and tried to go out those doors, so at least the sane customers behind him got a laugh.
I bet both hands that he's the type to bitch about people not bending over backwards to suck the armed forces' collective dick too.

*Edited to add his change total after going back through the day's receipts. Just to drive home how little the dude chimped over.
 
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CWCissey

Charming Man
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I resurrect this thread (and probably because it's safe to say now too) to say 'I'M OUT OF RETAIL NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'

And one of my managers was a bitch about it.

Although I recently yelled at some twat in Sainsbury's for berating the poor girl on the self-serve tills for not being quick enough in sorting his till out. She was doing her best goddammit!

Always be nice to people in retail folks.
 

Constellationzero

kiwifarms.net
Back in the early 1990s I worked at a once popular(?) Madison based chain pizza restaurant. One slow night, a man came in and stood looking at the menu for a bit. We figured he was about to order, but then he asked where the bathroom was and without thinking, we pointed it out since it's perfectly common for a customer to use the shithouse real quick before ordering and settling in.

Cut to several hours later, almost closing, and a person left the bathroom and exited the restaurant. We all forgot about that guy and we kept going about our business. I was in the process of breaking down the salad bar when all hell broke loose. There in the men's bathroom was something that could probably be described best as something out of a scene from Troll2.

There was SHIT. EVERYWHERE. Creamy gooey shit...and it was GREEN. It looked for all intents like the guy (I don't know...) grabbed fistfulls of this green glop and flung it on the walls, smeared all over the terlet, and on the goddamn cieling!! And Christ almighty...the fucking SMELL. I strongly suspected the guy might've been ingesting a bunch of drugs or something with Tylenol in it.

The manager tried (and natually failed) to get anyone to go in there and clean it up. But one of our workers was a sweet intellectually disabled guy. The manager offered him whatever the hell he wanted off the menu for free, a small cash bonus, and he drove him home. He got away with a couple large pizzas, some breadsticks, and a couple liters of soda. God I felt so bad for him though...
 

NOT Sword Fighter Super

"Cheerleeder" of Slapfights
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I resurrect this thread (and probably because it's safe to say now too) to say 'I'M OUT OF RETAIL NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'

And one of my managers was a bitch about it.

Although I recently yelled at some twat in Sainsbury's for berating the poor girl on the self-serve tills for not being quick enough in sorting his till out. She was doing her best goddammit!

Always be nice to people in retail folks.
Good job getting out, friend.
It's like moving out of your parents house getting out of retail.
You'll never even consider going back.
 

CWCissey

Charming Man
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Good job getting out, friend.
It's like moving out of your parents house getting out of retail.
You'll never even consider going back.
You really don't. I just found it interesting how each manager reacted to the news that I had a new job.

The new one who is a total bro laughed about it, wished me good luck, added me on Fagbook and still asks how it's going here and there.

Mr Arrogant 'Customers First, Creep Creep' was totally professional and understood my reasons for leaving despite them being kind of fantastical (robots) and insulting (the job's just shit mang).

Whereas the manager who always tried to keep me on side and actually seemed to fear me a little launched into a rant about how I was being unprofessional and openly wondered how he was going to quell staff revolts and shit now.
 

The Un-Clit

After the Dimensional Merge, pussy eats YOU!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I resurrect this thread (and probably because it's safe to say now too) to say 'I'M OUT OF RETAIL NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'

And one of my managers was a bitch about it.

Although I recently yelled at some twat in Sainsbury's for berating the poor girl on the self-serve tills for not being quick enough in sorting his till out. She was doing her best goddammit!

Always be nice to people in retail folks.
THANK YOU for resurrecting this thread, it has some of the most entertaining stories this side of....well, anything because the stories here (including mine ;)) are fucking awesome, and unlike the subreddits about this, are REAL and not obviously agenda'd bullshit like 90% of the stories in /ProRevenge and /IDontWorkHereLady and such.
 

Kurosaki Ichigo

an approaching murder
kiwifarms.net
So back in November I quit the shitty sammich place I was working at. They were giving me less and less hours so naturally I had enough and sent out my resume on indeed and got picked up by a sushi place that’s paying me pretty handsomely. I worked both jobs for about a month to make sure the new place was absolutely gonna keep me on before I notified the boss that I was leaving. She was cool with it and asked me for a more official letter of resignation. Thought it was a bit odd she didn’t ask me to put in two weeks but whatever, I’m out.

They never took me off the store group chat soI occasionally got texts about things like stock and catering and didn’t think much of it. The following Monday I stop by the store to drop off my uniforms and I find that it’s in the middle of being stripped bare while the district manager supervises. I ask him what the happened, for every intent and purpose it was still an operating store a few days ago judging by the texts I was getting. “You guys weren’t selling enough, they decided to shut down.”

Places shut down suddenly, I know but the bosses were pretty shifty so I knew there had to be more. I called one of the girls that was still working there at the time what happened. They didn’t tell them a damn thing. Not so much a warning so they could look for a new job beforehand. They didn’t even tell the store or district manager. My coworker goes on to tell me that Sunday she’d gone in to start her shift only to find it already closed up. It was almost the end of November so I wouldn’t doubt they spent half of December job hunting.
 

desertfoxgoggles

a hot nazi with a machine gun for a chest
kiwifarms.net
I've had to go back into our shop floor due to issues within our salon (basically I said I no longer could work nine hours a day in a tiny box with two of the bitchiest humans I've ever met). So, my first week back in retail has reminded me why I hate it.
A guy mistook me for a dude from behind because I have short hair and upon me getting closer, decided to kiss my hand, tell me I'm beautiful but god I need to grow my hair. I blankly told him no and walked off. Then a lady at my till started losing her shit with me becausr a guy pushed in front and I didn't notice. When I told her I didn't know, she was going mad that I'd accused her of lying. Crazy. And finally the amount of people I've had bitching at me for the stupidist fucking shit.
'i could get this cheaper at...' 'i got my food delivered and I was not happy bla bla bla' I just want to tell most of them to shut the fuck up.
Luckily, the change isnt permanent but fuck me, I remember now why I hated retail so much. Also, lazy managers. Woo, lad.
 

vertexwindi

Diddy in space, even though he's not
Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Whereas the manager who always tried to keep me on side and actually seemed to fear me a little launched into a rant about how I was being unprofessional and openly wondered how he was going to quell staff revolts and shit now.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder how the people at my previous job haven't revolted. I had a lot of issues with management and what I heard from colleagues, they had the exact same issues. Oh well.
 

CWCissey

Charming Man
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Sometimes I can't help but wonder how the people at my previous job haven't revolted. I had a lot of issues with management and what I heard from colleagues, they had the exact same issues. Oh well.
It does take a lot to get some people going. Often when it drastically increases workload or negatively affects pay.
 
There was SHIT. EVERYWHERE. Creamy gooey shit...and it was GREEN. It looked for all intents like the guy (I don't know...) grabbed fistfulls of this green glop and flung it on the walls, smeared all over the terlet, and on the goddamn cieling!! And Christ almighty...the fucking SMELL. I strongly suspected the guy might've been ingesting a bunch of drugs or something with Tylenol in it.

The manager tried (and natually failed) to get anyone to go in there and clean it up. But one of our workers was a sweet intellectually disabled guy. The manager offered him whatever the hell he wanted off the menu for free, a small cash bonus, and he drove him home. He got away with a couple large pizzas, some breadsticks, and a couple liters of soda. God I felt so bad for him though...
:lit: there is nothing on this planet funnier to me than the lives of janitors
shit.jpg
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IBx8tNv.jpg
 

Mr. Skeltal

Calcium fortified at your own risk
kiwifarms.net
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