The Retail Horror Thread 2: More Tales to Chill your Bones -

Questionable Ceviche

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
:lit: there is nothing on this planet funnier to me than the lives of janitors
This is only marginally more bad than the shared restroom in this office building. Only marginally. I wonder if the person in the second to last photo overdosed or something because damn.
 

Pargon

He don't
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Last retail place I worked was Best Buy and it was a while ago so I don't know if this is part of their schtick but their Black Tie Insurance Plans were the order of the day when I was there. No huge dramatic stories but just a cautionary tale if they're still offered: don't. They're A1 scams and purposefully don't cover the most common things that'd happen to your stuff. They were so prized at the time by management that they slashed a ton of "low performers'" jobs at once (including yours truly) because so many of us weren't pushing them or in several cases subtly aiming customers away from them. I outsold the next two associates combined in the mobile department two months running and they lost me because those plans are pure profit more or less, and as a result BB is one of two brick and mortar stores I won't mind at all to see finally dry up and die. Between that and their fucking magazine subscription scams they used to run they can rot.
 

Otterly

Primark Primarch
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Many years ago (early nineties) when I was an A level student and through the nineties as a skint uni student I worked bar and retail to make ends meet.
I worked in a big british department store in the ladies wear dept. We had several changing rooms across the floor and often we had to kick out men we caught furtively wanking into dresses and underwear, and occasionally shoes. Or they’d wank into a frock and just leave it in a heap on the floor.
Before we caught one really prolific wanker we used to have to go in and do changing groom pickup with protective gear on. Eventually we had to hire another member of staff to ensure we had enough people to have someone physically in the changing rooms at all times.
Anything that was shop damaged went to stock destruction but after it was passed we could usually buy it for a token fee. So lots of us sewed and used to pick up amazing bargains like posh frocks with sequins hanging off or broken zips. But anything that had been wanked on just went straight to stock destruct. Grim fuckers.
At least then we could kick them out. Nowadays you’d probably have to call them ma’am and accept the gender fluid on the clothes
 

neverendingmidi

it just goes on and on and on and on...
kiwifarms.net
I never saw this guy when I worked at the store, but shortly before I was hired into a craft store they had a random pisser. They had various home goods, including pillows, and this weirdo would come in and piss all over the decorative pillows. Then leave. I think they caught him shortly before I was hired because I was warned to watch out for a skeevy old guy pissing in the pillows, but I never saw him in person or heard of any issues while I was there.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

World's Okay-est Proctologist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
More weird skatepark occurences- the place used to be a mini-golf course 30 or so years ago and some remnants of it remain. The most obvious being a badly neglected concrete whale in the front of snackbar/lounge building. Poor thing is full of trash and I'd love to see it restored, I've tried to pull the trash out and my friend (and a former employee) warned me that at least one person has peed in it's mouth.

Last week I overheard someone comment that something happened to the whale, and I meant to check but it slipped my mind until today. Didn't see anything beyond more trash until I looked closer into the mouth. Lo and behold someone had taken an absolutly colossal shit into its mouth in a spot where most average sized humans wouldn't be able to wedge their asscheeks. Do we have a midget pooper on the loose? I don't know how to clean it because we don't have anything designed for such purposes.
Save the whales!
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

The tasteful summer treat. 🥝🥧🐈
kiwifarms.net
Places shut down suddenly, I know but the bosses were pretty shifty so I knew there had to be more. I called one of the girls that was still working there at the time what happened. They didn’t tell them a damn thing. Not so much a warning so they could look for a new job beforehand. They didn’t even tell the store or district manager. My coworker goes on to tell me that Sunday she’d gone in to start her shift only to find it already closed up. It was almost the end of November so I wouldn’t doubt they spent half of December job hunting.
Even though it wasn't retail, my first degree-related job ended up being at a place that seemed decent enough except for management's tendency to be very secretive and not upfront about the company's day-to-day operations and status. For example, people invariably resigned or got let go, but we were always told "they're on vacation" even though weeks would elapse and they'd never come back.

Eventually, the company went belly up. Although it was a surprise at the time, in retrospect some of the bits and pieces would and should have been a tip-off something was amiss. It wasn't until I discovered a document left open on our remote access PC that I learned that the CEO and marketing consultants hired to grow our company did nothing during their tenure with us and the CEO instead killed morale and likely drove away our #1 money-making client. Even when we were abruptly told we were all being let go due to the lack of clients, one of the founders made it clear the company wasn't going bankrupt. However, when I contacted the office the following week about getting COBRA coverage, I received a reply that boiled down to, "You can't have it, we've filed for bankruptcy."
 

Kurosaki Ichigo

an approaching murder
kiwifarms.net
Even though it wasn't retail, my first degree-related job ended up being at a place that seemed decent enough except for management's tendency to be very secretive and not upfront about the company's day-to-day operations and status. For example, people invariably resigned or got let go, but we were always told "they're on vacation" even though weeks would elapse and they'd never come back.

Eventually, the company went belly up. Although it was a surprise at the time, in retrospect some of the bits and pieces would and should have been a tip-off something was amiss. It wasn't until I discovered a document left open on our remote access PC that I learned that the CEO and marketing consultants hired to grow our company did nothing during their tenure with us and the CEO instead killed morale and likely drove away our #1 money-making client. Even when we were abruptly told we were all being let go due to the lack of clients, one of the founders made it clear the company wasn't going bankrupt. However, when I contacted the office the following week about getting COBRA coverage, I received a reply that boiled down to, "You can't have it, we've filed for bankruptcy."
I mean the writing was on the wall for a while, all of us knew that the store would shut down at some point but we didn’t think it’d be so soon. The owners were awful at their jobs. They were married but were awful at communication with each other. We once told one that a scale had broke. We reminded them again and the husband texted us angrily “why didn’t anyone say anything?” We did. We told his wife.

About two months before I quit the wife had texted me if I had ever opened the store. I told her no, she had only ever scheduled me as a closer and that I didn’t even have the store key. Never got a text back in acknowledgement. The following morning my phone was bombarded with texts demanding why I wasn’t at the store. I wasn’t even scheduled that day. Later the husband texted why I didn’t open. I didn’t respond except with a screenshot of his wife’s texts to me and the schedule she assigned me. He didn’t say anything after that. If he could be proven wrong about anything (which happened a lot) he’d shut and pretend it never happened.
 

Beluga

Just a little white whale on the go
kiwifarms.net
This isn't exactly retail but I briefly worked in a hostel a few years ago.

The night before my first morning shift somebody had shat in the hall literally 3 metres away from the toilets. Another time somebody had shat in the toilet, scooped it up and smeared it all over the toilet bowl and the floor.

Once, I was cleaning one of the rooms and I found a bag of defrosted frog legs in one of the lockers. Thankfully the customers had just checked out so there was barely any smell but I always wondered why would someone do that.

I also had to clean cum stained mattresses almost everyday and showers that constantly smelled like piss and with so much hair in them that they would clog up with an alarming frequency.

The owner had clearly done too much acid and drugs in his youth that he'd kind of lost his mind. He also had anger management issues and would fire people for the stupidest mistakes. He fired a barman after barely a month because he served a beer to a customer who had actually asked for a cocktail. The owner lost his mind and fired him on the spot even though the customer wasn't remotely bothered by the barman's mistake.

The week after I quit, the whole hostel got infested by bedbugs, and I mean every single room had bedbugs, no room was spared. Instead of cancelling all bookings and cleaning everything up, the owner denied everything, lying in the face of customers who were showing up at the reception with bites all over their bodies. He decided that washing every sheet and duvet in the washing machine was enough. Oh, by the way, that washing machine was the same one that customers could use to wash their clothes.

ETA: just remembered that we'd often get Muslim couples trying to rent rooms by the hour even though it clearly wasn't a motel. When the receptionists would tell them that we didn't offer this service, they'd always reeeee before going away. We also had a breakfast self-service buffet and every single Indian customer we had couldn't understand the concept of self-service and would ask female staff to serve them. They never asked male staff to do it. One Indian pretended that his window wasn't working so he had the female receptionist go up to his room and open the clearly working window for him. Fuck Indians.
 
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slimes

lava lamp of secrets
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This job I've got right now can suck a dick in hell.

It's not the customers, no. They're a bunch of awful elitist bastards but I knew they would be when I started working at the location. That I can handle.

The place I work puts management through a big long training course I had to take, which was fine. The general manager of that location was a huge bitch but she pushed her workers and got results so I can respect that.

Fast forward to the location I'm at now, and her getting transferred to it. Constantly yelling at me, but none of the other managers. Constant dumping shit on my plate that is her job. Getting angry with me for shit I had no idea was my job until she retroactively makes it so. Threatening me with the District Manager when she gives me no time to do the tasks she assigns and then calling any reason it wasn't done a pathetic excuse.

The biggest point of contention is that she keeps putting shit on my plate that involves needing further training for details (like back of the house computer work) but then not training me and screaming at me for not knowing what I'm doing. She also leaves hours early almost every day but god help you if you do the same thing.

I'm looking for a new job and half ready to say fuck it and take a lower paying job and supplement it with ubereats or something before I go nuclear on her.
 
I use to work at a thrift store on occasion someone would go in the dressing room to steal clothing by putting the clothes on walking out of the store leaving the clothes they had on when they first enter the store in the dressing room or they would simply put the stolen shirt underneath their shirt or in their purse. I knew someone that worked in Sears she would tell me about undocumented immigrants from Mexico or Central America would leave their old discarded clothing in the dressing room and walk out of the store with their new stolen attire on their backs.
 

Give Her The D

You have been BAMBOOZLED
kiwifarms.net
Not so much a horror story, but the home goods store (not saying which one) I work at hasn't had a bathroom re-model I want to say since at least the late 1990's. The sinks spray water everywhere and I have to wait to get back to the register to Purell my hands if I don't want to get water all over my clothes.
 

Wraith

Made pure again from the hardest game on earth.
kiwifarms.net
Many, many years ago I worked retail. The entry level position had new employees at one section of the store have to clean the bathrooms. Guys are disgusting. Women were horrifying. You not only had to keep the door open with a warning in case some scummy chick wanted to scream sexual harassment, but the substances that would be ON THE DAMN WALLS OF THE STALLS you had to clean off reaffirmed my believe that God was right about there being a living satan out there, and that his kingdom is united in evil.
Why was that stuff on the walls? Why?
 

Radgy Chadobah

Str8 Fgt
kiwifarms.net
I worked in a smallish family-owned bookstore when I was younger...

...and was briefly put in charge of the section of the store that housed the erotica/sex/wank books, amongst others. While I do have the requisite disgusting stories about creeps and cum and customer TMI, my (least) favorite part was dealing with the rich and decrepit father of the owner who used to come in from time to time with friends from his care facility. He was fairly easy deal with as were his elderly pals, but the rich old perv would shoplift 5 to 10 erotica paperbacks every time he came in rather than being seen paying for them, and without fail, the owner would corner me and berate me for not paying better attention to the inventory....and yes, the owner knew that their dad was doing this but preferred to think it was all the other shoplifters who doing the real damage to the porn books. I eventually started hanging out in the section when the old man would come in, only to find that a manager would be asked to call me away so he could shoplift freely...and the cycle was allowed to continue.

...we had a frequent customer who was wheelchair-bound and had mostly physical but also some mental impairment. She would have this same full-time care assistant with her who would do absolutely jack shit to help her charge nor clean up after her. This meant letting the wheelie woman throw books all over the floor (she could get them off the shelf but not put them back and would just drop them on the ground instead), REEEEEEEEing at people and small children who wouldn't get out of the wheelchair's way fast enough, letting her charge try to drink hot coffee unassisted with disastrous results, and the big winner...this helper couldn't physically do the work by herself to get wheelie woman cleaned up after she had used her diaper, so the helper was well-known for approaching the nearest staff member and hissing a demand at them to follow them into the Ladies room and GET IN HERE AND HELP lest she and Wheels start REEEEEing at management because discrimination. It was a collective nightmare for the staff when they came in because we all knew a bathroom incident was potentially on the table. Luckily, I was never approached and asked to help.

...one day, a harried Karen-type woman came in with three small, screaming children and a baby of a few months old with a bag full of books to return while I happened to be running the register. She set the bag on the counter and the most putrid, rotted, wretched smell flew up and hit me in the face for 10 points of poison damage. Apparently her three little ones got into some breast milk that Mummy had pumped to freeze and dumped it all over this new stack of breastfeeding and parenting books she had purchased. Now, being a busy mom of so many children who also has an entire house to run, she put the bag of breast-milky books to bring back right away but alas, she forgot them for a few Summer weeks in the trunk of her car before she made it to us. The smell was so so bad that I had to back up as far as I could as I refused to accept damaged merchandise on return, which of course offended her and made her demand to speak to a manager. The manager gave her full return value on the milky books and gave me a lecture on customer service. To this day, I still get nauseous even seeing a woman breast-feed or seeing pumped milk.

...in closing, there was a really nice family that came through every so often who had a son with Down syndrome who used the word 'f*ggot' like the word 'dude". This meant he would greet random men and women alike with a truly friendly "Hi f*ggot!". His family was always embarrassed and always corrected him. It didn't change the behavior, but at least they tried.
 

Kurosaki Ichigo

an approaching murder
kiwifarms.net
I don’t fucking understand why women whip their tits out in the middle of a public area to breast feed. My work doesn’t have any separating walls between tables so some slag whipped one out in the middle of a busy dinner shift.
 

fishercat

good for health, bad for education
True & Honest Fan
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I don’t fucking understand why women whip their tits out in the middle of a public area to breast feed. My work doesn’t have any separating walls between tables so some slag whipped one out in the middle of a busy dinner shift.
Sometimes you're in an open space, your baby is screeching, and all you have is your shirt to cover you up. It happens.
 
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