The Retail Horror Thread 2: More Tales to Chill your Bones -

Virgo

P̢̘̋͋̀͢AṆ͌T̛͖̞͛̌ͅON̟̄̊͟E̪̓͊͞ ̣͍̽̈́4̻̭̀͡8̻̃̄͒̃̈͢5
kiwifarms.net
I worked at telcos for four years.

1. A cunt threw a phone at me, heavily pregnant in the direction of my abdomen, because he was credit declined.

2. I trained six new people on the job in holiday season after corporate bought out the franchise with no extra pay. I wasn't thanked. We were put in a temporary store until the new one was built. It was a huge warehouse type premises on the main street, and our pop up store took up maybe one sixth of the area. It took one minute to walk from the tills to the toilet at a brisk pace. It was the middle of summer and we had no air conditioning because 4/6 of the units were broken. Our first day at the premises was cleaning the disgusting blocked toilet because the company wouldn't send a plumber or cleaner.

3. A lady came in with her whipped cuck husband and demanded she get a plan with a certain phone for a specific price. I knew we had nothing like that and told her, but her persistence made me humour her. I showed her our back office catalogue to convince her I was not "denying a paying citizen her right to service". She was super rude and barked orders at me while scrolling on her phone and her husband looked absolutely mortified at her behaviour. Turns out the offer was with the telco across from us instead. She realized this and accused us of false advertising with a similar deal and left as the clown she was when she walked in.

4. Being handed wet phones that anyone else but the customer dropped in the toilet, and only finding out after I've touched the wet phone with bare hands that it was in the toilet. Their neice/son/dog/cactus always did it, not them. I learned quickly to sanitize my hands in front of them, and the desk, and tell them it was fucked in nicer terms. So gross. Put it in rice and stop making people touch your poop phone.

5. Putting a phone together for a customer and having them come back the next day and accuse me of breaking their lever operation SIM tray. I did not. He slipped up and said he had "moved things around" with his old phone to move things across after I had set things up for him. I know not to jam lever trays down. You have to pull up, swing down, and slide back to lock the tray. He ended up bitching to the business team and getting the phone replaced for free under warranty.

6. A woman came in to make an insurance claim for the phone her daughter broke. She was a business customer but they were busy so I took the case. She said it was her daughter's phone but she wasn't even in high school at best and the minimum age to make a claim for damage is 16. The kid looked 12. Lying about the age of a user is insurance fraud. I told her about the age rule which was in her policy and asked her how old her daughter was. She snapped at me and ordered me to get one of the business team because how dare I ask that rude question. I made an extensive note on the account about insurance fraud. Told the business team to not entertain the claim because it's fraud. They fucking processed it because she was a "valued" business customer.

7. People coming in at 5:25 and asking for a new connection (it takes at least 20 minutes), and having the one person low on their targets take it so we have to wait until they're done, doing cash up ourselves, not being paid for overtime.

8. Old people asking for STD cards.

9. My old franchise boss saying we had to apply to him for the commission we earned at the end of the month or we wouldn't get it. I forgot a lot, so when takeover happened I asked for the commission he didn't pay me for about 6 months, and he said I was too late because I didn't get it at the time. He pocketed 2 thousand dollars of just my commission and made off with a lot of other people's.

10. There was never any training at the first telco I worked for and the second scrapped it just after I joined. I had to do and learn on the job. They use complex CRM systems like Siebel and till systems that are integrated and if you fuck up it takes half an hour plus to fix. This was the same with the other company I worked for. They used to have training but then scrapped it. The amount of mistakes that happen because of improperly trained staff is CRAZY. I have always been an advocate of how good an investment it is for telcos to train their staff because it is highly complex when starting out compared to muscle memory later on. It costs more to fix mistakes that untrained staff make than it does to train them and have them hit the ground running. If you or the system fucked up badly with the second telco you had to log a ticket and have it fixed a week or so later, whereas the first had a hotline with live "fix it" agents who could undo most things on the spot. Idk I don't think it's fair and it's very lazy to lump your employed staff with training when it isn't in their contract or paycheck. I'm bitter lol.

I'll update if I can think of anything else but those still stand out to me.
 
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DDBCAE CBAADCBE

Buying a Switch & Animal Crossing with Trump bucks
kiwifarms.net
Okay, real story this time.
This one just happened today.

So I work for a big auto parts chain and we close around 9:00PM.
Old guy shows up and says he needs a battery for a 2005 Dodge.
I tell him I need to know the sub model and he responds that he doesn't know.
So I ask him if he has the vehicle with him so I can go take a look at it. He doesn't.
In fact it's not even his. It belongs to a friend of his. Turns out the friend is stranded.
So he explains what the car was doing, says it won't even jump off.
I tell him he doesn't even need a battery. It's the alternator. Mind you it's like 8:30PM.
He insists it's the battery and I continue to explain why that's stupid.
Never mind that I couldn't get him the right battery anyways without the vehicle information.
We were at it until like 9:10PM. Fuck that guy.
 

Shitassdeaddude

kiwifarms.net
Had my first drunk haul-out last weekend while people were still clearing out of dodge due to the apocalypse virus. I work at a hotel, and management being the geniuses they are decided to go forward with the big party we were having that weekend for some vocational school. This was while the building was already packed with entitled parents picking up their entitled kids from a nearby college after they decided togo full-remote-classes after spring break.

Rich entitled people are already bad enough, but they're the fucking worst when they're all collectively panicking about the apocalypse. That's not what this story is about though.

So the head chef and the restaurant manager are babysitting this party well past midnight, which is when I get this fucking call from a guy on the third floor who I'm just going to call Prospero for now. So Prospero calls down and basically goes "hey I need you to call."

"Okay.. call what?"

"Uh like, call 911 it's an emergency."

"What is the-" click.

Great. So I call 911.

"911 what is your emergency?"

"No fucking clue. A guest told me to ring you guys. I'm going to connect you to the room so you can find out."

So I do that, and then I wait on whoeverthefuck is going to arrive. I'd go up myself but I'm the only person in the lobby and the hotel is full to bursting so I need to deal with other shit. First on scene is an ambulance. I open up the front doors and let the guys in. I try to get some kind of explanation out of him. All he tells me is someone has their hand fucking cut up. I figure okay, probably one of the drunken assholes upstairs broke a beer bottle and ended up slicing their hand open.

NOPE.

Turns out there was a full-on domestic dispute going on. Three cop cars arrive and the boys in blue all pile into an elevator. Prospero and his wife were both going at it hard. The officers drag his bitch out, her hand is all wrapped up in gauze and she's yelling at them, flailing around saying she "didn't do anything." Sure you didn't bitch.

So the cops ask me where Chef is. Apparently he and Prospero are buddies. So I take them up to the party, still going on, and flag him down. Then he and the cops shoo me away because yeah I'm just the night guy it's not like I fucking need to know any of this shit.

Things calm down for a while, until eventually Prospero and his wife show up again at the front desk. Apparently they got the OK to stay in the fucking room. Management has zero balls.
---
So that was that. Now things are just fucking spooky with how cleared out we are. We're at <10% occupancy for a full month, which for us is single-digit rooms.
 
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Local Coyote

Hey man, got any cats?
kiwifarms.net
For the most part the apocalypse has been kind to us at the local fancy pet food store. Just a few things that stick out.

1. We do not sell hand sanitizer, toilet paper, paper towels, bottled water, distilled water, screwdrivers, rubbing alcohol, cleaning wipes, or alcohol in general. Yes these are all things people have asked if we sell at the pet food store.

2. People have tried to buy our hand sanitizer, cleaning wipes, masks, and gloves the company provided for the employees. Some try to plead their case by saying the big box store across the street is out. Too bad. We don't sell it.

3. One lady asked if our bathrooms were locked. My manager got suspicious and said yes. The lady said she would go steal the big box store's toilet paper and left. Good luck. They lock it up.

4. Another lady opened the supply closet and was looking way too long into it. Said she was looking for the bathroom when I caught her. The bathroom is next to the supply closet. With the bathroom sign.

People are the fucking worst.
 

Autumnal Equinox

Sing or I'll go home and kill all your mommies
kiwifarms.net
The store I usually shop at has started imposing limitations on how many of certain items people can purchase. Naturally this causes the fat, dim-witted appearing boomer hoarders to have a full chimpout, screaming about how "they have rights! The manager is literally killing them! They'll sue! They'll never shop there again! Waa waa waa!"

Manager there seems like a bro who doesn't put up with the whole idea of sucking off the customers. Saw him tell one decrepit old fuck throwing a tantrum to get the fuck out then and stop harassing his employees.

Where were managers like him when I worked retail?
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
The store I usually shop at has started imposing limitations on how many of certain items people can purchase. Naturally this causes the fat, dim-witted appearing boomer hoarders to have a full chimpout, screaming about how "they have rights! The manager is literally killing them! They'll sue! They'll never shop there again! Waa waa waa!"
I suppose one good thing about declaring martial law is that instead of trying to reason with these idiots, the National Guardsmen deployed to enforce order will just shoot them.
 

vertexwindi

Diddy in space, even though he's not
Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So since a few months ago, I've started working as a marketer at a small company that makes products that appeals to the female social media influencer demographic, let's say something like make-up, shampoos, jewelry, that kind of thing. It's just a small unpaid thing I do in my free time to help out because the company owner, a friend of mine, doesn't really get this internet thing. So a few months back I set up a marketing plan and got in contact with a few big names under the assumption that none of them would reply. Well, one of them actually did and said "I love your products actually, I'd be happy to help spread the word" and ever since we've had a huge increase of interest in our products. Sounds great, except one problem: I'M DROWNING IN E-MAILS FROM DUMB STUPID FUCKING THOTS ASKING FOR FREE SAMPLES.

I'm getting so many goddamn e-mails that go like "hi my name is stupid bitch, I have 200 followers on Twitter and would like to have your products for free", but those aren't even so bad as the Russian and Chinese e-mails. I can't even read those. My favorites, however, include the e-mails that have the name of our products obviously copied and pasted into the e-mail, the e-mails where the influencer makes a dozen demands of us, and the e-mails where they don't even include the name of our products anywhere in the mail itself, it just says "please send us your product(s) for review". Am I supposed to be so impressed by your 1,5K followers to overlook that? A cat gets more followers than that, you stupid bitch.

My most favorite e-mails of all are the repeating beggars though. I've gotten at least one e-mail where somebody asked for a free product, got told "sorry we have no free products to give out at this time", and then proceeded to ask "how about now?" on;y a few days later. I also got two identical e-mails from the same person spaced apart by a month, and when I told them "thanks for your continued interest in our products but we still don't have any free products to give out at this time" they replied with "OK, maybe later". Jesus Christ lady, just stop.
 
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AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
I also got two identical e-mails from the same person spaced apart by a month, and when I told them "thanks for your continued interest in our products but we still don't have any free products to give out at this time" they replied with "OK, maybe later". Jesus Christ lady, just stop.
What do you get when you market thot products?

Exactly what you deserve!
 

Water-T

My pussy tastes like Pepsi-cola.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Sounds great, except one problem: I'M DROWNING IN E-MAILS FROM DUMB STUPID FUCKING THOTS ASKING FOR FREE SAMPLES.
E-thots and "influencers" are the fucking worst. They think that just because they have 200 Twitter followers and a vagina, therefore they deserve comped dinners at 4 star restaurants that charge between $500 to 1000 per meal or free stays at $2000 a night hotels.

I used to work for a global corporation in a public relations role, and I would get AT LEAST two or three DOZEN emails a day from these wastes of space begging for us to give them free shit in exchange for them telling their 100 YouTube subscribers about us.

As you said, the most annoying ones are those who cannot take NO for answer, and think that asking two weeks later is going to result in a completely different answer.

Actually, the most annoying are those who send the EXACT SAME EMAIL several times at once, but use a different email address and a slightly different name. Do they expect that the same person spamming us with 6 or 7 copies of the same email is going to have the desired effect? :story:
 
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vertexwindi

Diddy in space, even though he's not
Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What do you get when you market thot products?

Exactly what you deserve!
Delete this.

E-thots and "influencers" are the fucking worst. They think that just because they have 200 Twitter followers and a vagina, therefore they deserve comped dinners at 4 star restaurants that charge between $500 to 1000 per meal or free stays at $2000 a night hotels.

I used to work for a global corporation in a public relations role, and I would get AT LEAST two or three DOZEN emails a day from these wastes of space begging for us to give them free shit in exchange for them telling their 100 YouTube subscribers about us.

As you said, the most annoying ones are those who cannot take NO for answer, and think that asking two weeks later is going to result in a completely different answer.

Actually, the most annoying are those who send the EXACT SAME EMAIL several times at once, but use a different email address and a slightly different name. Do they expect that the same person spamming us with 6 or 7 copies of the same email is going to have the desired effect? :story:
No, I'm actually really impressed by 200 Twitter followers. It's only slightly less than NOMAP defenders.
 

UnsufficentBoobage

Atleast things I wanna fuck are 3D
kiwifarms.net
I'm getting so many goddamn e-mails that go like "hi my name is stupid bitch, I have 200 followers on Twitter and would like to have your products for free", but those aren't even so bad as the Russian and Chinese e-mails. I can't even read those.
Forward russian ones to me, I'll translate them, or call them 50 variations of "dumb cunt" for you if needed :)
 

BrunoMattei

Vincent Dawn
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I worked at a cell phone store for a while. It was alright at first but slowly became more and more of a drag. I was on my own and figuring out just how much life sucks but I was shuffling along.

One night just before closing a cat lady was at the counter making conversation with me, another employee and whoever came into the building. Then this older guy (mid forties or fifties maybe?) came in, handed me his phone, and said "I took some pictures that I don't want my wife to see. Can you delete them for me?" I agreed, not fully prepared but trying to be helpful as I usually am, the cat lady asks if they're dirty pics. My fellow employee helps someone else that just came in.

I should note that this was 2007 and I just barely started owning a cell phone so I'm just kind of winging it.

So I go through the pics, I see penetration of what looked like a bar slut, and I think I deleted them. At least it looked like I deleted them. I handed the guy his phone back, he sheepishly thanks me and hands me a $5 I went on a spiel that we can't accept tips but stopped myself because I was starving and I pocketed the $5.

I later bought a pizza and a Coke.
 

Oscar Wildean

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The store I usually shop at has started imposing limitations on how many of certain items people can purchase. Naturally this causes the fat, dim-witted appearing boomer hoarders to have a full chimpout, screaming about how "they have rights! The manager is literally killing them! They'll sue! They'll never shop there again! Waa waa waa!"

Manager there seems like a bro who doesn't put up with the whole idea of sucking off the customers. Saw him tell one decrepit old fuck throwing a tantrum to get the fuck out then and stop harassing his employees.

Where were managers like him when I worked retail?
I'm so sick of the customers throwing their little fits because they can't hoard everything. Should have bought shit a month ago instead of taking it out on the workers.
 

SuudsuAddict

kiwifarms.net
People are the fucking worst.
No kidding. I hate retail and customer service in general. Something about it brings out the worst in people. I really fucking hate that quote, "The customer is always right." Narcissistic, entitled idiots from all walks of life think just because they're a customer that they're important. From my own observations and experiences, people seem to have internalized this mentality and apply to other facets of life. They really think they can do whatever they want because 1) they say so and 2) they'll have a total meltdown if they don't.

Sorry for my bit of sperging, but I hate this institution from the darkest pits of my heart...
 
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