the rise of NEETs -

[Crunchy Leaf]

if you're on kiwifarms you've seen NEETs live out their internet lives, but i recently took a journey to a parenting forum to see what it's like from the other side, and it's bad. regular middle class parents (I say this to distinguish from desperately poor areas where living at home off of welfare is both common and often the best choice) desperately posting about their adult children who aren't working and aren't in school and basically do nothing but stay at home and play video games all day. there's oodles and oodles of this.

I wonder how much of it is the 'slow exit of the nest' parenting style that's common in suburban middle class families. by this I mean, kid goes off to college at 18, they come home for summer break and either don't pay rent or pay a nominal rent, the parents don't enforce a ton of rules, kid moves out either right after or pretty soon after college. in contrast to the 'you're 18, time to get out' style or the 'you can stay here till you're married but we're gonna be strict as hell' style. for most people, the slow exit is fine, and many of the posters have older children who are fine, but for some people they simply will not launch themselves.

what do you think is up with this? what do you think makes a person become a NEET in contrast with other people from their background who don't?

 

[La Luz Extinguido]

i recently took a journey to a parenting forum to see what it's like from the other side

Elaborate on this, a lot.

 

[Slap47]

what do you think is up with this? what do you think makes a person become a NEET in contrast with other people from their background who don't?

Parents were afraid of pedos and denied their kids independence at a young age. It all built upon that.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

Elaborate on this, a lot.

I went to r/Parenting and typed 'adult child' into the search bar

as to 'why', I like visiting internet communities that aren't relevant to me, just to see what else is out there and what people I'm not going to interact with IRL are like

 

[La Luz Extinguido]

Parents were afraid of pedos and denied their kids independence at a young age. It all built upon that.

My daddy ain't afraid of no pedos.

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

NEETS RISE UP

to get another Mountain Dew out of the fridge.

 

[dopy]

maybe boomers and xoomers could just import a bunch of cheap foreigners to take their children's place in their home like they did for literally everything else in society. sheesh have they learned nothing from their own actions

 

[Internet Nuisance]

Parents were afraid of pedos and denied their kids independence at a young age. It all built upon that.

Trust me, nobody's scared of you.

 

[TowinKarz]

Personally, I blame the "Everyone gets a trophy, everyone gets to graduate, there's no such thing as "failure" only "Deferred success" models of schooling/parenting that became popular in the mid-to-late 90s that birthed a generation of kids who couldn't draw any connection between their actions and their (lack of) real world success. No matter what they did, they were told that was fine, they were great, and didn't need to do any better. When just trying was enough, when just feeling good was enough, that was success.

So is it any wonder a good chunk of them failed in the real world, failed to have any concept of, well failure itself?

They similarly don't get that just wishing their kids behaved and telling them how good they are all the time has similarly embedded in them a lack of effort to try anything if their every mediocre attempt is good enough because "you tried".

 

[Y2K Baby]

Elaborate on this, a lot.

He became a virgin.

 

[nagant 1895]

So is it any wonder a good chunk of them failed in the real world, failed to have any concept of, well failure itself?

I run across a lot of these people in my day to day and my non-degree holder perspective is that they are primarily terrified at the thought of failure. They got out of highschool with a couple of scars and it just somehow fucking rocked them. There are probably tons of ancillary supporting factors around today that didn't exist for highschool grads of the past like better video games and mental health professionals eager to diagnose anxiety disorders.
I see a lot of them with one 3-9 month stint at a job and nothing else for years like they tried once and didn't get magic bonus points for their specialness. They tell themselves its because the world isn't just or right so they're choosing not to participate, but it's p obvs that they're petrified when you put them in a situation where failure (no matter how unlikely and easy to avoid) is possible.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

I run across a lot of these people in my day to day and my non-degree holder perspective is that they are primarily terrified at the thought of failure. They got out of highschool with a couple of scars and it just somehow fucking rocked them. There are probably tons of ancillary supporting factors around today that didn't exist for highschool grads of the past like better video games and mental health professionals eager to diagnose anxiety disorders.
I see a lot of them with one 3-9 month stint at a job and nothing else for years like they tried once and didn't get magic bonus points for their specialness. They tell themselves its because the world isn't just or right so they're choosing not to participate, but it's p obvs that they're petrified when you put them in a situation where failure (no matter how unlikely and easy to avoid) is possible.

yeah there's a lot of mentions of dropping out of college. one kid dropped out after 3 weeks!
the first 3 weeks of college aren't going to be super hard outside of maybe some very rigorous majors. it seems like a complete lack of ability to deal with ANY independence. being a freshman at an american university generally means living in a dorm and having a meal plan for the dining hall--the amount you have to deal with yourself is pretty minimal. but it's still more than at home. or they fail out because they can't get up or do homework without someone telling them to do so.

 

[GS 281]

The parents need to accept being the bad guy for a little while and toss the bums out. They wont grow up otherwise.

 

[nagant 1895]

The parents need to accept being the bad guy for a little while and toss the bums out. They wont grow up otherwise.

It's hard for parents to find that line where the kid can eat but can't afford internet. The second they get a smart phone with data or internet the kids start loosing ground, getting in trouble at work.
I can almost, almost, sympathize with kids like this. Without getting into too much detail I could easily see myself having taken this path but what kept me going was knowing that people at work were counting on me.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Do NEETS exists at a below middle-class level?
I imagine most poor families couldn't support that shit.

 

[nagant 1895]

Do NEETS exists at a below middle-class level?
I imagine most poor families couldn't support that shit.

They do but I don't have enough experience to say if it's at the same rate as other family income levels. It's even more sad to see them because they often don't have a good standard by which to judge their own behavior. It makes it really difficult to pry them out of their rooms when they keep popping off excuses like "at least I'm not a drunk like dad" or "Mom never had a job either"

 

[Pepito The Cat]

what do you think is up with this? what do you think makes a person become a NEET in contrast with other people from their background who don't?

Bad parenting and getting too confortable over a government that works.

Good thing is that all this isn't reallly substainable. NEETs cant or won't raise NEETs and sooner or later this retarded way of life will disappear or become the norm.

 

[Marco Fucko]

NEETdom is social darwinism playing itself out in the modern economy, prove me wrong.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Here's a NEET most of you will be familiar with:

Doesn't seem like a lifestyle anyone should want.

 

[Slap47]

Do NEETS exists at a below middle-class level?
I imagine most poor families couldn't support that shit.

Dunno, some of our lolcows seem to find a way.