The Seven Deadly Sins of Lolcows -

[Randall Fragg]

Here ye, here ye, listen to thine own Pastor Faggot, for today the sermon is on those who stray too far into the realm of the seven deadly sins. Behold, the Earthly Abominations we call...
The Lolcow.

Okay, old timey religious sermon out of the way, this is a thread on something I though up while board. Matching lolcows to the sin they most embody.
For example, Incels and envy. Incels like to make a big deal about "oh those fucking sluts only fuck Chad Thundercock, oh I'm better than him for being the supreme gentleman!"
But really, they all want to be Chad, and their envy towards him drives them to stupid shit like fake plastic surgery, all in the hopes that they'll be able to have sex, just like Chad.
Whatever, maybe we can have some fun discussing this, maybe it'll be forgotten.

 

[Frank Rizzo]

Well, the obvious one of course would be Sloth.

Example, Nick Bate and OPL are just to damn lazy to do anything but the barest of minimums to go about a daily routine.

 

[YI 457]

As one of the representatives of Spain in this forum, I must reinforce faith and combat combat the blasphemous in this particular way:

 

[RP 520]

Just to get it out of the way, Chris would fall under all the sins:

He's an narcissist and thinks himself the best thing ever (pride),
eats whatever he can get his fingers on no matter how terrible the food is and considering his weight he probably does it in excess (gluttony),
he's extremely lazy and hardly ever does anything (sloth),
holds grudges and lashes out at people over petty things which has gotten him into trouble multiple times (wrath),
compulsive buying tendencies and how he thinks he's entitled to everything (greed),
Chris's never ending lovequest and desire for sex, plus how he creeps on women all the time IRL (lust),
Chris's hatred of men because they "take all the women" (envy).

Barb:

manipulating narcissist that, like Chris thinks the world revolves around her (pride),
has the same eating habits as Chris (gluttony),
"snorelax" (sloth)
she's shown to be just as hostile and grudgy as Chris, and doesn't really like or trust most people she encounters he had to learn it from somewhere of course. Also part of why her family disowned her (wrath),
hoarder (greed and probably falls under gluttony as well),
supposedly she was a "woman of the night" in her younger years and hit on her own in-laws causing her family to disown her, she supposedly still hits on people now even (lust),
she thinks she's entitled to EVERYTHING (envy)

 

[AtroposHeart]

Greed for Kaylee and putting make-up ahead of her infants needs and using her as a doll prop.

Pixyteri is Vainity because she is constantly showing pics to prove her beauty and tries to "show off" I know she doesn't work on her appearance (No eating right or exercising) but she is still vain and wants to be acknowledged as beautiful

 

[Randall Fragg]

I'd say TJ for pride/vainity because he's convinced that he's a great writer when...well, he's not.
Holden is lust, obviously.

 

[c-no]

Bronies:
Lust over horses

Furries:
Lust over walking animals

Love-Shys:
Wrath towards women who reject them, thinking of them as sluts
Envy towards Chad Thundercock and guys who have women

 

[dabluearmedbandit]

I think just about every lolcow would fit for Pride. Having a Christ Complex/ ridiculous ego is practically a requirement to becoming one in the first place.

SlutHate is Envy
Tyce's excessive drug use would make him Gluttony
Jace is Wrath
Nick Bate is Sloth
Chris is Greed

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

 

[Positron]

SJWs:

• Wrath over every. fucking. thing.
• Greed for accumulating psychiatric diagnoses, circus-clown genders, and anime headmates.
  
• Pride in believing that they are above science, medicine, linguistics, logic, and common sense.
  
• Sloth when it comes to actually doing something for the cause they purportedly believe in.
• Envy towards the attention given to the truly disadvantaged or disabled.
• Gluttony describes the Fat Acceptance subset.
• Lust over sweet sweet yaoi and lesbian kicks.

 

[Soul Craving Dead Dog]

Just to get it out of the way, Chris would fall under all the sins:

He's an narcissist and thinks himself the best thing ever (pride),
eats whatever he can get his fingers on no matter how terrible the food is and considering his weight he probably does it in excess (gluttony),
he's extremely lazy and hardly ever does anything (sloth),
holds grudges and lashes out at people over petty things which has gotten him into trouble multiple times (wrath),
compulsive buying tendencies and how he thinks he's entitled to everything (greed),
Chris's never ending lovequest and desire for sex, plus how he creeps on women all the time IRL (lust),
Chris's hatred of men because they "take all the women" (envy).

Barb:

manipulating narcissist that, like Chris thinks the world revolves around her (pride),
has the same eating habits as Chris (gluttony),
"snorelax" (sloth)
she's shown to be just as hostile and grudgy as Chris, and doesn't really like or trust most people she encounters he had to learn it from somewhere of course. Also part of why her family disowned her (wrath),
hoarder (greed and probably falls under gluttony as well),
supposedly she was a "woman of the night" in her younger years and hit on her own in-laws causing her family to disown her, she supposedly still hits on people now even (lust),
she thinks she's entitled to EVERYTHING (envy)

The sin of sloth also once used to refer to aceid, (Aceid is, in fact, the official latin translation for sloth) which generally describes acts of laziness towards religious faith. Chris shows some obvious signs of aceid by how he manages to twist religion for his benefits, acting like god will just hand over the perfect life for him without having to do anything.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Which deadly sin does a deeply regressive obsession with the past fall under?

 

[Reddit Avenger]

Which deadly sin does a deeply regressive obsession with the past fall under?

Sloth? Being too lazy and unwilling to move on and content to just obsess about what you've already done as opposed to creating new experiences? I dunno.

 

[KingofManga420]

Which deadly sin does a deeply regressive obsession with the past fall under?

Envy, maybe? Constantly being jealous of the past instead of trying to improve the present. That's how I see it.

 

[Pikonic]

Some of these are Oldcows, so my memory might be shitty.

Pride- Giving this one to Golden Knight. Everything he does is "epic", he thinks the golden rule is "treat everyone as if they are [him]", uses "commoner" as an insult.
Runner up: Gloria Tesch

Greed- The trinity of Anita/Zoe/Brianna. Anita raised over $150,000, to fund some videos that I could make for next to nothing. Brianna made a commercially successful mobile game and still wants people to donate to a patreon to fund the next one, despite having an already endless supply of money to begin with. Zoe Quinn claimed she was robbed in the beginning days of #Gamergate, after receiving thousands of dollars from fans she said "This is more than I asked for. How can I return this?" She never did. AFAIK, these women have a healthy sum of monies and haven't given a dime to charities or organizations to help women, despite being "the leading forces in feminism."
Runner up: Chris (because meemaw's teefers vs Lego.)

Envy- Pixyteri is jealous of Asians and people with brown eyes, and tries to use contacts to look more like them. Her cosplays are ok at best, and once commented on a nice cosplay, calling it "pitiful." Also bitches that some professional cosplayer was going to be a guest at a convention, instead of her.
Runner up: Loveshies.

Gluttony- Fatman. That is all.
Runner up: Still Fatman, man eats so much he won 1st and 2nd in the gluttony contest.

Sloth- Connor has had almost every kiwi here try to help him, including one user who linked him several resources from his school, users offering to help him in his math struggles, building his resume, and do writing exercises with him. He did a journal chronicling daily improvements but gave up on day 2. Excuses include, "There's no point in trying.", "I'm mentally stressed." And my personal favorite "I'll do it when it gets warmer." (Remember where he lives never drops below freezing.) Bottom line, he's lazy.
Runner up: Monica Punk

Wrath- MrEnter freaks the fuck out over nothing. He gets angry over jokes in Family Guy and wants people to die simply because they write shows he doesn't like [anymore].
Runner up: Moleman9000

Lust- Without a doubt in my noodle, this one goes to Nick Bate. Nick Bate has never(?) had sex and claims he has problems masturbating, but it seems every big desire in his life is driven by sex. He wants to marry "wife" so they could do "butt stuff." His idea of humor is talking about sexually molesting his sister, and his defense to accusations was to make a sex video.
Runner up- I think Nick is so far ahead there's no point in having a runner up.

 

[Positron]

Which deadly sin does a deeply regressive obsession with the past fall under?

There are two types of cows that are obsessed with the past. On one hand you have Chris and Mylarballoonfan who are fixated with their childhoods, because of sheer autism and immaturity. On the other you have people like @Amud and @Holden who identify with a mostly or wholly fictional, romanticized past. I think Pride is the big thing in both groups: the first group believes that, because a period has a special significance to themselves, it has to have a special significance to everyone. The second group make up myths about a supposedly nobler, spiritually more exalted Golden Age, and consider themselves sole torchbearers in an immoral, degenerate modern world -- a fancy way of saying they are better than you.

 

[FemaleGoodra]

Andrew Dobson:

Sloth: He has regressed as an artist, and he actively refuses to branch out and try new techniques that would allow him to improve his art.
Envy: His classmates from school have moved on to work at Disney and other major animation studios, while he's stuck on the Internet making comics and complaining that his life is going nowhere.
Wrath: He makes strawman comics that lash out as his critics or companies that do something he finds "problematic."
Pride: He refuses to change his techniques and responds terribly to critics because he sees himself as being the best he can be, and makes those critics the targets of his aforementioned strawman comics.
Gluttony: Aside from the obvious fat jokes, he's a glutton for any attention, especially if it comes from Brianna Wu.
Greed: He cares more about getting money from his DeviantArt commissions and Patreon than giving those that paid him something of value, if his half-plagiarized Samus commission and "one panel of original art" Patreon comics are anything to go by.
Lust: Lusts over women being blown up and popped like balloons. In all seriousness, the way he has obsessed over Korrasami becoming canon comes off less as a genuine happiness for a same-sex couple consisting of two main characters appearing in a children's cartoon and more as "LESBIANS ARE HAWT!!!!!!"

 

[AnOminous]

Nick Bate is Sloth

Nick Bate should probably be treated as Spacey's John Doe treated Sloth in 7.

 

[Konstantinos]

Oh Mr. Enter, in what ways is your moral character decadent and depraved? I can certainly put him down for wrath, pride and sloth but I'm not too sure about the others. He does seem to be rather fixated on the cast of MLP so that might qualify for lust...

 

[Henry Bemis]

Sloth and pride, working on tandem: The volume at which a lolcow crows their stated hopes and dreams is usually in inverse proportion to how much work they actually fucking do to achieve them.

Hell, it's usually in inverse proportion to how much they actually seem to enjoy said pursuits. (e.g. Dobson and comics; Smithey and film criticism; Wu and video games.)

 

[Roger Rabbit]

Lust: Chris/pixyteri
Wrath: Holden
Averice: Wogglebuglover
Sloth: Connor
Gluttony: Fatman
Envy: TJ Church