I Know! It's weird. Neither are girls I'd be friends with, but in comparison (even with the sketchy grifting lying, and questionable pet stories) Amy shines when compared to the repulsiveness of Tammy. It isn't just her appearance, it's her nasty ass personality.
I can't believe she (was it Tammy or Amy? I can't remember and I'm too lazy to go check) admitted that she'd have to sit in the back of a pick up truck to attend the wedding because she's too large to fit in a car. How awful and embarrassing. I know Maw and Paw Slaton aren't playing with a full deck, but you'd think since it's gotten to this point with Tam Tam, they'd want her to lose weight so she could fit in a fucking car! At least. God damn. This family amazes me and horrifies me. You'd think after Tammy almost dying twice, they'd get the hint that maybe their lifestyle isn't the best. They probably just think she's "big boned." ?
Got ya' covered...
Got ya' covered, too. While I'm not going to make any claims re: Paw's manhood (it could well be a roll of fat or a weird fold in his sweatpants), it's pretty clear that neither of these two individuals knows much about living a healthy lifestyle.
You mean they're back home from their honeymoon already? Did they only stay for one night?
"Fashions fade, Wal-Mart is eternal." Amy Slaton-Haltermann, 2019
Yeah but 20 dollars fer them fancy Amazonian rings ain't right. If Wal-Mart was good enuff fer Amy's weddin' outfit, it was shore good enuff fer their weddin' rings.
You mean the Slaton-Haltermans of Kentucky? Everyone goes to their parties. You simply must come up to their summer bungalow in the Hamptons sometime, dahling.
Amy would like to apologise about the last video being vertical. She didn't notice because she didn't see it. Yep, didn't even bother to preview it.
She's still getting the hang of vah-logging in public. I guess that was the motor museum video unless she deleted the one she messed up on.
At around :52 you see something fluttering behind Amy. The flying roches are so glad to have mama back home. It just warms my heart.
Amy says she didn't want to spend money on a dress she would only wear once when she could "wear that Walmart clothes multiple times". Also, the flowers on the shirt doubled as her bouquet.
Well, you can't say she ain't a practical gal.
But why not buy a nice outfit she can wear on other special occassions? Like Tammy's every closer supersized funeral? Between the $3 Walmart t-shirt and the prize machine plastic ring she certainly was lovely on her special day.
Now we get an explanation of the silicone ring at 2:10. You see Amy can't wear metal rings. They burn her skin. She says they burn a hole through her finger.
Now I know some people have metal allergies. But isn't that usually a nickel allergy? And they do make jewelry for people with sensitivities. But I doubt Amy is going to be bothered to look for it. She wears metal earrings and I bet that stud in her nose also has a metal post. So it is only her fingers that are affected? I think it is more likely that her fat fingers are just too damn fat to deal with a metal ring.
She says that her ring is a men's ring because she did not want to wear pink. I think it is because the men's ring fit better. She and Michael wanted to maych so that is why he has a silicone ring too. It just looks so cheap and tacky.
At 3:57 Amy starts scratching herself. Fleas maybe? Roach dust? She stops around 4:10.
The only people who came to the weddin' were Michael's mom and sister and Dustin. Amy's own mother couldn't even fire up that scooter to get to the festivials. Oh well, at least Dustin got some time away from Tammy telling him to shut up. You gotta feel for that boy. He has it tough.
If you have seen the pick up line video Tammy is blaming Dustin for people thinking she is mean. As she is yelling at him to just read the lines already.
Amy says that Michael is the most romantic man. He's Mr Romance.
I am not even sure that Michael is intelligent enough to understand the concept. He probably barely "a-yupped" his way through a job application. Oh well. They seem made for each other. Can't wait for Amy's first calving. Hope they can get her to the zoo veternarian in time.
Since Michael is always thinking of Amy first Amy made sure he saw the Dukes of Hazard exhibit. His eyes lit up when he saw the General Lee.
They also went to the Orpry "Meel" mall. It's like three times the size of their mall. And they walked around the whole mall. I have heard the Opry Mill is pretty damn big. So I cannot imagine the huffing, puffing involved. Custodial staff must have needed a bucket brigade to clean up the sweat.
They didnot buy anything save for one macaron. Of course Amy got sweets.
They have a wax museum called Madam Trutoss. I believe Amy means Madam Trousseau. Close enough for a Slaton. She tried. She tried.
Since they didn't bring more money with them they didn't go to the wax museum. But Amy says they would have.
Amy wanted to try dragon's breath but she has asthma.
She would also like to go back down to Nashville sometime and do a meat & greet because she knows some of y'all are from there. Any kiwis in the general area want to take the plunge if she actually does it someday?
Oh man, that would really grind Tammy's gears. Amy being married and popular enough to hold offline events? Meanwhile all Tammy can do is sit around fusing to her wheelchair while yelling at Dustin. Yesirre, Amy has indeed arrived. By Slaton standards she is practically a debutante at this point.
And I've learned through the comments that Amy has a tongue ring.
Tammy said Dustin was going to record it, haven't heard Amy mention any video footage though.
That's actually really sad considering most of the immediate and extended family turned up for her brother's wedding. I know it was short notice, but not so much so that only Dustin cared enough to go. I wonder if everyone hates Amy and Tammy.
