- Joined
- Nov 14, 2019
- Highlight
- #1
White people don't have culture? Um, no sweaty try again
I'm a proponent of smooth jazz. I stan for it. Back in the day we called it elevator music. Zoomers call it Mallsoft. But it's all the same shit, isn't it. Before John Mayer, before Jason Mraz, before Top 40 was truly mainstreamed into daily life, in the heyday of Kenny G, smooth jazz was played almost everywhere: Malls, airports, restaurants, grocery stores, offices, hold music on every single phone line, all the places you had to physically go to before the smartphone was even a glimmer in Steve Jobs' ballsack, and before Jeff Bezo's enormous cock was down the throat of the internet. Smooth jazz was hated. It was reviled. It was feared. And now, it should be appreciated.
Easy listening is the key to smooth jazz. A little funky, a little jazzy, a little pop-y, but always light, always rhythmic. Music you would happily fill out a mortgage application to. My go to group? Fattburger. I've posted some of their stuff a few times in chat, because I listen to it semi-regularly when I need to just let my brain run on an idea or a problem for a while. These guys made albums that were legitimately packaged and sold as canned music in the 90s, or at least I'm pretty sure they did, there aren't really records kept on that kind of stuff. This is the exact sound of that music, of that time period, in those places.
Clean guitars, keyboards, funkin bass, light drums, perfection. But, of course, you can't forget the saxophone:
Would bang
I cry everteim. Yes the doctor is drinking the slutty nurse's piss
Here's that one song Troy hums all the time in Community:
Fess up, who else listens to smooth jazz? Who do you like, post up the linkies. Also jazz fags get the fuck out you already have your own thread for that gay shit nobody cares about.
I'm a proponent of smooth jazz. I stan for it. Back in the day we called it elevator music. Zoomers call it Mallsoft. But it's all the same shit, isn't it. Before John Mayer, before Jason Mraz, before Top 40 was truly mainstreamed into daily life, in the heyday of Kenny G, smooth jazz was played almost everywhere: Malls, airports, restaurants, grocery stores, offices, hold music on every single phone line, all the places you had to physically go to before the smartphone was even a glimmer in Steve Jobs' ballsack, and before Jeff Bezo's enormous cock was down the throat of the internet. Smooth jazz was hated. It was reviled. It was feared. And now, it should be appreciated.
Easy listening is the key to smooth jazz. A little funky, a little jazzy, a little pop-y, but always light, always rhythmic. Music you would happily fill out a mortgage application to. My go to group? Fattburger. I've posted some of their stuff a few times in chat, because I listen to it semi-regularly when I need to just let my brain run on an idea or a problem for a while. These guys made albums that were legitimately packaged and sold as canned music in the 90s, or at least I'm pretty sure they did, there aren't really records kept on that kind of stuff. This is the exact sound of that music, of that time period, in those places.
Clean guitars, keyboards, funkin bass, light drums, perfection. But, of course, you can't forget the saxophone:
Here's that one song Troy hums all the time in Community:
Fess up, who else listens to smooth jazz? Who do you like, post up the linkies. Also jazz fags get the fuck out you already have your own thread for that gay shit nobody cares about.
