The state of Dunkin' Donuts -

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Ki ki ki ma ma ma
I'll take their coffee over anytime some Batista at Starbucks with pink hair, a septum piercing and a tattoo of tramp stamp of Jack skeleington (yes she had all that yes she made sure to show it to me even though I didn't ask) serves me.

Their French crullers are actually pretty light, fluffy and perfectly sweet and the dounts aren't too bad either, but nothing beats a Krispy Kreme hot out the oil still wet and sticky with glaze as it practically melts on your mouth and makes your mouth orgasm 🥴

The first time I had one I thought...where have these been all my life?

The coffees are pretty great. We don't get donuts from them often, but they're ok, if a bit too sweet. Though I would rather get donuts from the bakery down the way. They tend to be fresher. Or we make them homemade. Much much better.

NOT Sword Fighter Super

"Cheerleeder" of Slapfights
True & Honest Fan
Their espresso-based drinks are pretty good.

I also like their cold brew (although cold brewed coffee is kinda hard to fuck up).

I don't get much else from them aside from the occasional wake up wrap, but only if I'm desperate.

Everything else is overpriced and unhealthy.


fbi most wanted sskealeaton
True & Honest Fan
Work had DD. One I had looked like it was Boston Cream but it had a green swirl. Far as I could tell it was just Boston Cream with a green swirl on top.
Also a plain glaze.
Neither was bad. Noticed the dough seemed heavier than Krispy Kreme. Very noticeable on the plain, I can knock those down like nothing from KK but I would hit my limit pretty quickly on these.


True & Honest Fan
I bought a 6-pack of DD Boston Cream-filled donuts from Ralph's the other day, and they... weren't very good. I very, very rarely eat donuts, so either I just don't like donuts anymore or their quality has plummeted. Or maybe I've just liked Krispy Kreme more all along. I really don't know.

I grew up in a rural area so the only time I ever had anything related to Dunkin Donuts back then was this tie-in set with my Easy Bake Oven:

As an adult I live in Chicago and Dunkin is everywhere, more ubiquitous than Starbucks even. There are even Dunkins in a lot of the subway stations. I've found that the quality varies dramatically from one store to the next. There's one that's like half a block in one direction from me where they sometimes just have totally arbitrary hours, I guess if they don't feel like opening, and then one about half a block in another direction from me is usually pretty good. It's not the best stuff in the world but it's fine. I think McDonald's has better breakfast items, though.


fbi most wanted sskealeaton
True & Honest Fan
I have some Krispy Kremes left over that were made on Friday, and they're just now starting to have a similar texture and taste to those recent Dunkin Donuts.


I went to Dunkin Donuts a year ago and I remember their donuts being really shitty. Like greasy or wet kind of feeling. I got a coffee too and that was good, so that kind of made up for it. I went back earlier this year because I remembered the coffee being good and it was gross now. I will never go back, ever.


Real Humdinger
I used to hate DD until just recently. Their muffins are fantastic, their non-glazed donuts are aight. I just wish I didn’t have to specify one sugar every time. Why on earth do they default to 5 if you’re not specific?


Asshole Extraordináire
Not a yank but I am fortunate enough to have one near my place. Gotta say they are not that bad.


Life on the outside ain't what it used to be.
On the very rare occasions I feel like one I'll get a black coffee there and the most I can say about boring-as-fuck black coffee is it tastes identical to the very same cup of boring-as-fuck black coffee you can get at McDonalds for precisely the same price. I also have no way of proving this objectively without carrying a thermometer around with me like a lunatic, but they also appear to be about the same face-melting jet engine temperature.

Their doughnuts are okay I guess. Something strange did seem to happen around the 2010s and I just completely stopped eating them or even really going to the place in general. Maybe I just got old and crotchety and I just hate fun now that I'm a bitter alcoholic. But I'd genuinely bet you a drink that something changed in their formula. They got more airy and the sugar more syrupy. I don't really like sweets in general so I'm sensitive to that kind of thing.

Tangent incoming.

This information is well over ten years old, but some time ago there was discussion in the media about leftover cellulose (the hard cellular walls of plants) being used as a filler for food. The logic behind this seemed sound; people are fatfuckers and eat too much, so a completely inert substance like processed cellulose means that even if you cram the whole box of pastries down your fat fucking face your body can't digest the materials so hypothetically you won't gain weight but you'll still feel satitied.

Problem is. Cellulose, processed or not, is basically sawdust. Literally. Well, not literally like its gonna fill your throat with slivers, but chemically it is for all intensive purposes sawdust. So when thinner people like me used to just eat a doughnut or a muffin for breakfast and have the energy to get through the day, now, that doesn't fucking work anymore. Now you need to cram down two candy bars or something because even though they're unhealthy at least they aren't literally fake food that starves you fucking to death because it has no nutritional value. And this information was in the news ten years ago, so its probably in everything now unless you empty your wallet buying "organic" food. But they can still use the cellulose trick there too because, hey, guess what, cellulose is totally organic! Like, I said, its sawdust!
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General Disarray

True & Honest Fan
They hire anyone at the one that was in my old office building.
I asked for the $2 Ham and Cheese RollUps once. The woman had to have the manager show her how to make them.
Also don't pile the hashbr0wns on top of each other and shove them in the convection oven, they won't cook evenly. Fucking idiots.
They hire anyone at the one that was in my old office building.
I asked for the $2 Ham and Cheese RollUps once. The woman had to have the manager show her how to make them.
Also don't pile the hashbr0wns on top of each other and shove them in the convection oven, they won't cook evenly. Fucking idiots.
Or they don't know how to make a certain ice coffee or coolatta the proper way to little or much whatever they put in it.