The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - 18 NEGLECTFUL COWBOYS IN THE ALPACA BARNS AT TRAN RANCH! TRAN RANCH IS UNDER SIEGE!

[Gone Ham]

I was watching a bunch of videos about nuclear accidents (Castle Bravo, SL-1, NRX, the Demon Core, Hisashi Ouchi etc.) this past weekend. Obviously the trancher's impact on the environment isn't even on the same scale as radioactive contamination, but it's pretty wild that I'm now getting to see an ecological disaster unfold in real time. Maybe one day somebody will make a short documentary about Tenacious Unicorn Ranch and its impact on the environment.

God I hope someone not autistic makes a chrischan documentary like series on it.

 

[Lovecraft's Cat]

Here's a low quality tranch shitpost inspired by the chaos god jokes from earlier.

 

[Semiprofessional Sperg]

Wait, doesn't manure explode sometimes if lit on fire? I could of sworn I heard something about that somewhere.

 

[Divine right to rule]

View attachment 2089897
Here's a low quality tranch shitpost inspired by the chaos god jokes from earlier.

We all know the true garden of Grandfather Nurgle is the Amhole itself.
It will one day let loose the ultimate sickness that will wipe out all life.

 

[Vapewizard]

Forgive me for asking, but what happens with the giant shit pile? Does it just keep expanding, taking over the whole lot? Does someone come by to throw it away someplace else? I'm a city kitty, the most rural I've gone was overnight tent camping.

I dunno what the tranch does with it but at a local farm I'm acquainted with where people keep horses everyone gathers the horse manure in a designated concrete containment area. After enough time passes and a large enough pile has accumulated the farm owner loads it up in a machine that can spread it out over a pasture evenly and then it's sealed off to recover and the horses are relocated to another pasture. I guess that illustrates a problem that others have pointed out now too, that there clearly isn't enough pasture and there's too many alpacas for the tranch to do something like this.

 

[Gone Ham]

Kevs amhole is the true patient zero of Covid

 

[Old Fart]

Wait, doesn't manure explode sometimes if lit on fire? I could of sworn I heard something about that somewhere.

If stored in an unventilated room where methane can develop, yes. Actually they could try to gain methane from the dung.

 

[Aunt Carol]

They wouldn't all shit in the same spot, though, in a big fucking gross pile right outside the windows to the house. Fresh manure can be pretty nasty stuff for plants. It contains a lot of ammonia and nitrogen salts in concentrations high enough that it can cause burns. It's the same way that plants get burned by applying too much commercial fertilizer. Manure is usually watered down or composed before use. This normalizes the nutrient levels, kills weed seeds, and also kills harmful bacteria that can spread disease. Composed manure is black and dry with no 'poop' smell to it.

Not a manure nor alpaca expert, but someone earlier was saying that alpaca manure doesn't have to be composted before it's used as fertilizer. Lazy websearch bears this out:

Since alpaca manure is mostly found in pellet form and doesn’t have the same components as other livestock feeders, like cows and horses, it does not need to be aged or composted before use. You can spread it directly onto garden plants without burning them.

Read more at Gardening Know How: Using Composted Alpaca Manure In The Garden https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/composting/manures/alpaca-manure-fertilizer.htm

Alpaca "Beans"

• Alpacas produce an average of 1 pound of Green Beans per day. Doing the math, that's about 365 pounds per year per alpaca. A herd of 25 alpacas produces about 4.5 tons of Green Beans per year.
• Some breeders work out agreements with local landscapers and nurseries to purchase Green Beans in bulk or even barter for other items which can be used on their farms/ranches or resold for cash

 

[Marvin]

There's a small, stupid part of my mind that always wants to give the Tranch the benefit of the doubt, for some reason. All we know about the ranch comes from a few dozen tweets a day and occasionally a picture or two, and even with that you have to subtract most of Kevin's tweets because he's only barely aware he lives on a ranch at all. So I always leave room for the possibility that there are things going on that we don't know about that would make this whole endeavor not be as stupid and insane as it appears to be from the outside. I know a lot of people who know more than I do complain about the way they're treating the animals, but it's not impossible that there are a number of possible interpretations of the things the trancheros have said and shown and they're choosing the worst ones. Even when we all started noticing the denuded land I wondered whether that was just something that was happening in the area due to weather and climactic conditions, and maybe the grasses are receding on the surrounding properties as well.

I think this is a good approach to take.

The thing is, what makes KF distinctive (and also so reviled) compared to a dozen or so other similar drama/gossip sites is that we're realistic and truthful. We keep receipts. (Speaking of which: screenshots are nice but web archives are even better)

Back when ED and /cow/ were king, it was easy for lolcows to dismiss accusations because the accusations were mixed in with a whole mess of tongue-in-cheek bullshit ("lol and they totally suck dicks!!")

KF is interested in genuine nutjobs actually being morons and fucking up their lives. There's no need for us to fabricate accusations or for us to put a finger on the scale by prodding them to fuck up. They'll do it themselves without our involvement.

And if they occasionally get something right, it's almost certainly a stroke of luck on their part. No need to feel bad about acknowledging it when they do it right for once, because sooner or later, they'll get back to fucking up.

We should appreciate skepticism. No one can accuse us of being anything but fair.

This is why KF gets attacked by big tech and the financial industry. We're way more of a threat to the mainstream perspective than an ED page plastered with shitty photoshops and "lol nigger nigger nigger nigger".

And if a lolcow learns their lesson and start to do things right, well then maybe they're not a lolcow anymore. It's rare, but it happens (like how Pad Gardner got psychiatric help and donated his pad collection to charity). Good for them, we can move on. It's not like there's a shortage of people doing dumb shit online.

But something tells me the tranchers aren't going to be learning any lessons anytime soon.

 

[Old Fart]

Not a manure nor alpaca expert, but someone earlier was saying that alpaca manure doesn't have to be composted before it's used as fertilizer. Lazy websearch bears this out:

Alpaca "Beans"
Alpacas produce an average of 1 pound of Green Beans per day. Doing the math, that's about 365 pounds per year per alpaca. A herd of 25 alpacas produces about 4.5 tons of Green Beans per year.

They have 200 of these critters that thus produce 36 ton of shit on that plot of land each year. And probably no plan to take it elsewhere. No wonder all plant life is gone.

 

[AnOminous]

Wait, doesn't manure explode sometimes if lit on fire? I could of sworn I heard something about that somewhere.

It generates methane gas. And they have all kinds of fucked up electricity around. If it actually caught on fire it would be nearly impossible to stop with the nonexistent water they have. They'd probably just leave it smoldering like retards.

I think they might think they're composting but whatever the fuck that is isn't composting, it's just a giant pile of shit in the open air.

Not a manure nor alpaca expert, but someone earlier was saying that alpaca manure doesn't have to be composted before it's used as fertilizer. Lazy websearch bears this out:

Do they even know that? Could they be planning on selling it? Or have they just randomly gathered all the shit from all the animals into one big pile? Considering the last is about the dumbest thing they could do, I'm guessing that.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

They have 200 of these critters that thus produce 36 ton of shit on that plot of land each year. And probably no plan to take it elsewhere. No wonder all plant life is gone.

With the amount the things get fed, it's probably less.

Dammit. I made myself sad.

 

[Ghostse]

The before-after pics of the property are a perfect analogy for tronning out and the before-after pics they take of that.

>before: Unkempt and ungroomed, but charming in a dorky, rustic way. Somewhat able to support the creation of life
>after: Clean shaven except for some stubble, alien and creepy looking, barren and trying to spread that entropy as far as possible

But enough about the troons' crotches.

 

[Gone Ham]

I think this is a good approach to take.

The thing is, what makes KF distinctive (and also so reviled) compared to a dozen or so other similar drama/gossip sites is that we're realistic and truthful. We keep receipts. (Speaking of which: screenshots are nice but web archives are even better)

Back when ED and /cow/ were king, it was easy for lolcows to dismiss accusations because the accusations were mixed in with a whole mess of tongue-in-cheek bullshit ("lol and they totally suck dicks!!")

KF is interested in genuine nutjobs actually being morons and fucking up their lives. There's no need for us to fabricate accusations or for us to put a finger on the scale by prodding them to fuck up. They'll do it themselves without our involvement.

And if they occasionally get something right, it's almost certainly a stroke of luck on their part. No need to feel bad about acknowledging it when they do it right for once, because sooner or later, they'll get back to fucking up.

We should appreciate skepticism. No one can accuse us of being anything but fair.

This is why KF gets attacked by big tech and the financial industry. We're way more of a threat to the mainstream perspective than an ED page plastered with shitty photoshops and "lol nigger nigger nigger nigger".

And if a lolcow learns their lesson and start to do things right, well then maybe they're not a lolcow anymore. It's rare, but it happens (like how Pad Gardner got psychiatric help and donated his pad collection to charity). Good for them, we can move on. It's not like there's a shortage of people doing dumb shit online.

But something tells me the tranchers aren't going to be learning any lessons anytime soon.

A great example of hidden competence is Penny. He’s basically holding the entire thing down with his fixes. If he leaves, it’ll be genuinely a death sentence for the tranch

 

[Aunt Carol]

I think they might think they're composting but whatever the fuck that is isn't composting, it's just a giant pile of shit in the open air.

Do they even know that? Could they be planning on selling it? Or have they just randomly gathered all the shit from all the animals into one big pile? Considering the last is about the dumbest thing they could do, I'm guessing that.

They're sitting on a gold mine with all these alpaca beans; one can only hope that Earl and the fascists don't make it past the 24-hour guard to steal Shit Mountain.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

Trump/Earl 2024?

 

[Marvin]

A great example of hidden competence is Penny. He’s basically holding the entire thing down with his fixes. If he leaves, it’ll be genuinely a death sentence for the tranch

Penny was also the one tweeting about how the tranch isn't a dating site, right? The quiet tension between Penny and the more useless tranchers is gonna boil over at some point and it's going to be fantastic to watch.

 

[Bird In Flight]

Regarding the damage done to the land- would laying turf help it recover in any way?
Obviously not whilst there’s hundreds of starving ruminants on it, but for future owners of this land that might not want to live on Arrakis.

 

[Squid Diddler]

The Kyle Hill ones? I'd love for that guy to do an easy-to-understand but still very detailed dive into the future Tranch wasteland.

Sadly I don't think he ever will, as he seems kind of pozzed. I do like a lot of his videos though.

 

[Meriasek]

Imagine the smell. And the flies.

And that's just the half dozen stinkditches on the ranch.