The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - 18 NEGLECTFUL COWBOYS IN THE ALPACA BARNS AT TRAN RANCH! TRAN RANCH IS UNDER SIEGE!

[Aaa0aaa0]

It'd be hilarious if that Ash Coyote person decided to turn their documentary into a hatchet job, but they don't have any motivation to do so.

I think it would be hilarious if Ash decided to show as much raw and uncut footage as possible and was tone deaf to the worse aspects of the farm. Try to support the raw struggle only to embarrass the laydees more.

I like both outcomes, one we get tranchers passively aggressive at their filmmaker, the other is the pictures they post but in motion. Both are more to laugh at.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Why get a DIY armored vehicle when you can get one from Ghana?

Just imagine the above and 18 POWER-ARMORED TROONS PATROLLING THE PERIMETER AT TRAN RANCH

I'm imagining them crashing the 4th of July parade with it.

 

[Badungus Kabungus]

I'm imagining them crashing the 4th of July parade with it.

Ghana strong! That thing looks like a 22LR would punch straight through it. Also the cardboard power armor with spray-painted motorcycle helmets is pretty epic, looks like a halloween costume.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I think it would be hilarious if Ash decided to show as much raw and uncut footage as possible and was tone deaf to the worse aspects of the farm. Try to support the raw struggle only to embarrass the laydees more.

I just want sped-up footage of transgender tactical maneuvers, maybe with "Yakety Sax" played over them.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

I'm imagining them crashing the 4th of July parade with it.

Wouldn't it be a stellar show of supporting 2A and therefore inherently American though?

Ghana strong! That thing looks like a 22LR would punch straight through it. Also the cardboard power armor with spray-painted motorcycle helmets is pretty epic, looks like a halloween costume.

Yeah with one of the hoses hydraulic tubes just dangling around the thigh of one of the soldiers.

 

[Ghostse]

What I find curious about all of the media coverage the tranch is getting is how it always seems to benefit them. Even if reporters travel out there with the expectation of writing a super friendly piece about how the tranch is a transgender light in the alt-right darkness of rural Colorado, it should be very, very obvious that something is wrong by the blight covering tranch land and the ramshackle nature of all of the buildings that make up the tranch's infrastructure. Could their media whoring contribute to the tranch's downfall?

Do you think anyone doing what passes for Journalism in 2021, let alone anyone doing a persecution narrative-affirming for the BBQ+ wing of any outlet during Pride month, actually knows any shit about farming?

I mean they shouldn't need to be able to draw some obvious conconclusions about the state of land, but I think you underestimate just how shit the modern media is. (And there's why that is a good thing)

 

[Badungus Kabungus]

I just want sped-up footage of transgender tactical maneuvers, maybe with "Yakety Sax" played over them.

This is the only tactical manouver they know.

 

[Aaa0aaa0]

Oh no, have tranchers talked more about their 4th of July crash plans? We're only a few weeks away now.

Nothing endears people to you like "LOOK AT MEEEEE AND MY IDEOLOGEEEEEEEY" at an excuse to get dressed up for summer fun and beer type parade. Even people critical of America would see it as attentionwhoring. We're here to party, not to listen about ancoms (kill me).

 

[Badungus Kabungus]

Hmm. If this was a fantasy RPG, they would definitely be considered Beastmen. I can just picture some NPC in a tavern from a nearby town giving a quest to rid the land of the Beastmen rampaging through the countryside by destroying their encampment and slaying their chieftan. Wonder what kinda drops they got...

 

[EnemyStand]

Hmm. If this was a fantasy RPG, they would definitely be considered Beastmen. I can just picture some NPC in a tavern from a nearby town giving a quest to rid the land of the Beastmen rampaging through the countryside by destroying their encampment and slaying their chieftan. Wonder what kinda drops they got...

That'd be one hell of a fun Raid, not going to lie...

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Hmm. If this was a fantasy RPG, they would definitely be considered Beastmen. I can just picture some NPC in a tavern from a nearby town giving a quest to rid the land of the Beastmen rampaging through the countryside by destroy their encampment and slaying their chieftan.

Not in [CURRENT CURRENT YEAR] though. There's a good reason why I won't bother with BG1&2EE and BG3 or any of the Dragon Age titles after Origins.

 

[lamp shade]

So...they’re just never going to give us the alpaca autopsy results from when the totally-real-not-made-up militia killed their animal then? K.

The scam is so obvious and people just keep falling for it.

 

[Prolego]

There are loads of shearing photos on their twitter right now, but they called in some professionals and actually did it properly for once. And whoever knew, farming done properly is pretty boring.

But this really deserves to be highlighted. They brought in one of their alpacas to be sheared, and the shearer pointed out that it wasn't actually an alpaca, it was a vicuña, a completely different species (which is apparently a wild ancestor - Google it if you really care). Does anything really scream "not a farmer" more than not knowing what fucking species your animals are. Would a sheep farmer not realise that one of his flock was a goat? Would a chicken farmer be fooled by a penguin with a rubber glove on its head? I wonder if it identified as an alpaca.




https://twitter.com/TenaciousRanch/status/1408190042800021505 (X)

Spoiler: I would have got away with it but for those damned kids

 

[S.C.U.D.]

I like the juxtaposition of them promoting the alpaca shearing as a cute uwu event but then you actually see how they have to restrain alpacas to shear them and it's like night and day.

 

[horrorfan89]

CHUD kiwifarmers

Oh no! they're onto us! Run bud run!

but in all seriousness, The tranch is the perfect example of why the whole "trans people are people too." argument falls flat on it's face.

 

[Fetish Roulette]

Hmm. If this was a fantasy RPG, they would definitely be considered Beastmen. I can just picture some NPC in a tavern from a nearby town giving a quest to rid the land of the Beastmen rampaging through the countryside by destroying their encampment and slaying their chieftan. Wonder what kinda drops they got...

All the things you'd expect to find on a normally Tenacious Ranch- nooses, Agent Orange, and the central reward of the quest, a level 3 combat dilator (but only if you look in the burned out stove).

 

[RazorBackBacon]

So...they’re just never going to give us the alpaca autopsy results from when the totally-real-not-made-up militia killed their animal then? K.

The scam is so obvious and people just keep falling for it.

Critical thinking is transphobic.
Also twitter troons have the memory of goldfish so I doubt they even remember the tranchers claiming Earl shot their 'pacas.

edit: spelling

 

[horrorfan89]

Tenacious Unicorn Ranch probably gets their whole aesthetic from Mad Max villains.

I do somewhat long for the day the whole worlkd goes to shit (moreso than it is now i mean) and communities like tranch, the furries, the black hammers of the world end up becoming the mad max esq roaming raider gangs.

oh snap anyone still got that pic of chris where they moved his head onto the body of toadie from the road warrior? That was a good one.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

I do somewhat long for the day the whole worlkd goes to shit (moreso than it is now i mean) and communities like tranch, the furries, the black hammers of the world end up becoming the mad max esq roaming raider gangs.

oh snap anyone still got that pic of chris where they moved his head onto the body of toadie from the road warrior? That was a good one.

Those sorts would never go raider. Raiding requires cohesion, trust, aggression, but also coordination, critical thinking, and a feast/famine mentality. If shit goes full apocalypse, Furries and Tranchers and the like will be dead in the first week, of excess or ignorance, having pissed off the locals, never developed any real skills, only being bound by a now worthless ideological concept, and with crippled critical thinking skills. They'd either be victims to a real gang, kill themselves out of dread, or plan some retarded home alone level ambush and get wasted by anyone with two hands to hold a gun. Even if they manage to bag someone even more incompetent than them, they're not going to have the brain cells to realize people aren't gonna keep riding into the same ambush, and they'll starve themselves out and collapse.

The folks you really gotta be careful with are steel mill workers, mine workers, all the blue collar hard working sorts. These folks know what it means to put in hard fucking work on a time sensitive matter and only get rewarded later, they're gonna know how to actual build trust, and identify shifty people, and they're gonna have enough practical world knowledge to really fuck some shit up. They're also liable to have the sort of ideology and opinions of government and community building to make 'em say fuck it all, I'll just take what I need.

The best the tranch can hope for in the apocalypse is a chaz scenario, and they'll last about as long.

 

[horrorfan89]

Those sorts would never go raider. Raiding requires cohesion, trust, aggression, but also coordination, critical thinking, and a feast/famine mentality. If shit goes full apocalypse, Furries and Tranchers and the like will be dead in the first week, of excess or ignorance, having pissed off the locals, never developed any real skills, only being bound by a now worthless ideological concept, and with crippled critical thinking skills. They'd either be victims to a real gang, kill themselves out of dread, or plan some retarded home alone level ambush and get wasted by anyone with two hands to hold a gun. Even if they manage to bag someone even more incompetent than them, they're not going to have the brain cells to realize people aren't gonna keep riding into the same ambush, and they'll starve themselves out and collapse.

The folks you really gotta be careful with are steel mill workers, mine workers, all the blue collar hard working sorts. These folks know what it means to put in hard fucking work on a time sensitive matter and only get rewarded later, they're gonna know how to actual build trust, and identify shifty people, and they're gonna have enough practical world knowledge to really fuck some shit up. They're also liable to have the sort of ideology and opinions of government and community building to make 'em say fuck it all, I'll just take what I need.

The best the tranch can hope for in the apocalypse is a chaz scenario, and they'll last about as long.

eh maybe but it does make for an amusing mental image...especially what becomes of the degerates in the aftermath once their number's up.

representative of how wrecked and degenerated society had become.

doesn't that describe the tranch; nay a good portion of the people we document on this very forum to a tee?