The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - 18 NEGLECTFUL COWBOYS IN THE ALPACA BARNS AT TRAN RANCH! TRAN RANCH IS UNDER SIEGE!

[Ronnie Rocket]

There are loads of shearing photos on their twitter right now, but they called in some professionals and actually did it properly for once. And whoever knew, farming done properly is pretty boring.

But this really deserves to be highlighted. They brought in one of their alpacas to be sheared, and the shearer pointed out that it wasn't actually an alpaca, it was a vicuña, a completely different species (which is apparently a wild ancestor - Google it if you really care). Does anything really scream "not a farmer" more than not knowing what fucking species your animals are. Would a sheep farmer not realise that one of his flock was a goat? Would a chicken farmer be fooled by a penguin with a rubber glove on its head? I wonder if it identified as an alpaca.


View attachment 2294269

https://twitter.com/TenaciousRanch/status/1408190042800021505 (X)

Spoiler: I would have got away with it but for those damned kids

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> Vicuñas produce small amounts of extremely fine wool, which is very expensive because the animal can only be shorn every three years

Think anyone told them that? You might be awfully fucking cold come October, Pepe.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

> Vicuñas produce small amounts of extremely fine wool, which is very expensive because the animal can only be shorn every three years

Think anyone told them that? You might be awfully fucking cold come October, Pepe.

So, countdown to a twitter post accusing Earl of Murdering him in the middle of a blizzard for being a different race?

 

[AnOminous]

Even if they manage to bag someone even more incompetent than them, they're not going to have the brain cells to realize people aren't gonna keep riding into the same ambush, and they'll starve themselves out and collapse.

If it goes Mad Max, or zombie apocalypse, all the locals will know there are these asshole troons they already hate, they have lots of expensive guns, and they're too dumb to be able to keep them. They could either just go take them, or choose the option of just luring a horde of zombies there, and let the zombies knock down their pathetic fence, swarm the compound, and then pick up the guns later.

 

[Swiss46]

If it goes Mad Max, or zombie apocalypse, all the locals will know there are these asshole troons they already hate, they have lots of expensive guns, and they're too dumb to be able to keep them. They could either just go take them, or choose the option of just luring a horde of zombies there, and let the zombies knock down their pathetic fence, swarm the compound, and then pick up the guns later.

Why go through all the effort of setting that up and then cleaning out the resulting mess when you can just wait a week for them to turn on themselves.

 

[horrorfan89]

I'm still dying over the three kegs they bought. My buddy back in my younger days used to throw the kind of "stereotypical movie scene blowout" parties quite often. Often had one keg and occasionally a second. NEVER ONCE did I see him buy three fucking kegs.

There are 163 12oz drinks in a keg. * 3 = FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-NINE.

What a fucking frat.

all that booze mixed in with a bunch of mentally unstable enuichs and guns? a shame this little pow didn't end with the ranch going waco wacko.

 

[AnOminous]

Why go through all the effort of setting that up and then cleaning out the resulting mess when you can just wait a week for them to turn on themselves.

They probably want some ammunition. If they waited, they'd waste it all missing each other for days.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

all that booze mixed in with a bunch of mentally unstable enuichs and guns? a shame this little pow didn't end with the ranch going waco wacko.

Give them a little time

Right now everything's going smooth for our Tranny degenerates. How ever its only a matter of time till the money runs out, the Feds bust the place or they get slammed for killing 100's of animals. Then the blame will start flying, the supporters will stop answering calls for aid and the tranch will implode like a atom bomb. There might even be a murder IMHO.

Like all other FOTM lolcows you just have to be patient and wait for them to self-destruct. After all you have 6 or 7 incredibly narcissistic immature idiots hopped up on fake hormones surrounded by guns and isolated together on a decaying moonscape with no way out. All lorded over by a egotistical moron who controls the weed and money flow.

Shit..Kubrick himself couldn't come up with a more horrifying powder keg.

Always remember the Farms motto: Watch, wait and laugh.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

There are loads of shearing photos on their twitter right now, but they called in some professionals and actually did it properly for once. And whoever knew, farming done properly is pretty boring.

But this really deserves to be highlighted. They brought in one of their alpacas to be sheared, and the shearer pointed out that it wasn't actually an alpaca, it was a vicuña, a completely different species (which is apparently a wild ancestor - Google it if you really care). Does anything really scream "not a farmer" more than not knowing what fucking species your animals are. Would a sheep farmer not realise that one of his flock was a goat? Would a chicken farmer be fooled by a penguin with a rubber glove on its head? I wonder if it identified as an alpaca.


View attachment 2294269

https://twitter.com/TenaciousRanch/status/1408190042800021505 (X)

Spoiler: I would have got away with it but for those damned kids

View attachment 2294273View attachment 2294274

So... how the fuck does that even happen? Did they buy an animal from somebody who lied about what it was, or what?

 

[horrorfan89]

Give them a little time

Right now everything's going smooth for our Tranny degenerates. How ever its only a matter of time till the money runs out, the Feds bust the place or they get slammed for killing 100's of animals. Then the blame will start flying, the supporters will stop answering calls for aid and the tranch will implode like a atom bomb. There might even be a murder IMHO.

Like all other FOTM lolcows you just have to be patient and wait for them to self-destruct. After all you have 6 or 7 incredibly narcissistic immature idiots hopped up on fake hormones surrounded by guns and isolated together on a decaying moonscape with no way out. All lorded over by a egotistical moron who controls the weed and money flow.

Shit..Kubrick himself couldn't come up with a more horrifying powder keg.

Always remember the Farms motto: Watch, wait and laugh.

i thought our motto was "Not affiliated with new zeland?"


still good advice to just sit back and watch their collapse, gonna be a bust if it amounts to every packing and going home to greener pastures once the alpacas die off though.

 

[Meriasek]

There are loads of shearing photos on their twitter right now, but they called in some professionals and actually did it properly for once. And whoever knew, farming done properly is pretty boring.

But this really deserves to be highlighted. They brought in one of their alpacas to be sheared, and the shearer pointed out that it wasn't actually an alpaca, it was a vicuña, a completely different species (which is apparently a wild ancestor - Google it if you really care). Does anything really scream "not a farmer" more than not knowing what fucking species your animals are. Would a sheep farmer not realise that one of his flock was a goat? Would a chicken farmer be fooled by a penguin with a rubber glove on its head? I wonder if it identified as an alpaca.


View attachment 2294269

https://twitter.com/TenaciousRanch/status/1408190042800021505 (X)

Spoiler: I would have got away with it but for those damned kids

View attachment 2294273View attachment 2294274

Let's hope the wild boi managed to breed with a whole bunch of alpacas before they found out, polluting the breed purity of the herd and further ruining the quality of the wool.

 

[horrorfan89]

If it goes Mad Max, or zombie apocalypse, all the locals will know there are these asshole troons they already hate, they have lots of expensive guns, and they're too dumb to be able to keep them. They could either just go take them, or choose the option of just luring a horde of zombies there, and let the zombies knock down their pathetic fence, swarm the compound, and then pick up the guns later.

I'd make a comparison to the zombies swarming the silo/mine in day of the dead but unlike these larping morons Rhodes, rickles, Steele, and the others were actual soldiers who knew how to handle guns and shoot right and like men.

The only reasonable comparison would probably be to Dr Logan. Who was completely delusional and blind to reality while dabbling in pusedoacience In a desperate attempt at trying to get what he wanted. But even that's not a good comparison,

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

But this really deserves to be highlighted. They brought in one of their alpacas to be sheared, and the shearer pointed out that it wasn't actually an alpaca, it was a vicuña, a completely different species (which is apparently a wild ancestor - Google it if you really care). Does anything really scream "not a farmer" more than not knowing what fucking species your animals are. Would a sheep farmer not realise that one of his flock was a goat? Would a chicken farmer be fooled by a penguin with a rubber glove on its head? I wonder if it identified as an alpaca.

So they have this animal named Pepé who turned out to be a different breed?



Wonderful.

 

[AssignedEva]

How did a Vicuña end up in their herd, anyway? Did they bulk buy alpacas off a farm that was liquidating and it got muddled in? Do you think someone thought "sod it, this rube isn't going to know the difference between a vicuña and an alpaca"? I can't imagine there's very many vicuñas in the US compared to alpacas.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

How did a Vicuña end up in their herd, anyway? Did they bulk buy alpacas off a farm that was liquidating and it got muddled in? Do you think someone thought "sod it, this rube isn't going to know the difference between a vicuña and an alpaca"? I can't imagine there's very many vicuñas in the US compared to alpacas.

IIRC they doubled their herd by taking the animals from a busted ranch who also donated them a year's worth of feed.

 

[Old Fart]

Would a sheep farmer not realise that one of his flock was a goat? Would a chicken farmer be fooled by a penguin with a rubber glove on its head?

I'm on to you, sir

How did a Vicuña end up in their herd, anyway?

Ah, you see, when the KF tech department made the animatronic Alpaca filled with microphones and GPS, they used a Vicuña since it only needs to be shorn every three years. Didn't expect it to come this early. Drat. Oh well.

 

[Meriasek]

Do you think someone thought "sod it, this rube isn't going to know the difference between a vicuña and an alpaca"?

That is pretty much what I think happened, yes. And it worked, apparently. The rubes did not know the difference.
Alternatively, Earl smuggled in the wild boi.

 

[AnOminous]

So... how the fuck does that even happen? Did they buy an animal from somebody who lied about what it was, or what?

Anyone who isn't completely retarded, i.e. anyone who isn't a fake news "journalist," can spot these dudes as utter suckers, and probably just fobbed one off on them because they knew these stupid men couldn't tell the difference anyway. What a batch of dunces.

 

[Ronnie Rocket]

The vicuna probably came in with the rescued herd last year. And since vicuna wool is worth vastly more than alpaca wool, IF THEY WERE SMART (the thead's slogan) they'd use Pepe as the stud for a pacovicuna breeding program.

Edit: More paco-vicuña links...

https://spinoffmagazine.com/jefferson-farms-the-search-for-wild-luxury/
http://www.jeffersonfarmsnaturalfibers.com/
https://nap-v.com/
http://victoryfarmpv.com/

 

[titty skeleton]

The vicuna probably came in with the rescued herd last year. And since vicuna wool is worth vastly more than alpaca wool, IF THEY WERE SMART (the thead's slogan) they'd use Pepe as the stud for a pacovicuna breeding program.

Edit: More paco-vicuña links...

https://spinoffmagazine.com/jefferson-farms-the-search-for-wild-luxury/

Jane Levene

Jefferson Farms has vicunas for sale. Vicuna fiber is used to make high quality baby alpaca yarns. Visit our website today for more information.

www.jeffersonfarmsnaturalfibers.com

https://nap-v.com/

http://victoryfarmpv.com/

I don't think it'd matter anyway. With the info we know, they can barely keep their pacas well fed. Starting a crossbreeding program is probably more than they can logistically handle. Malnourished mothers and malnourished calves are more likely to reject and suffer milk quality degredation/be rejected, and I can't imagine bad diets do much for wool quality.

I have a layman's understanding of farming and animal husbandry however, so one of the more farm-oriented thread readers are likely to correct me.

 

[Ronnie Rocket]

I don't think it'd matter anyway. With the info we know, they can barely keep their pacas well fed. Starting a crossbreeding program is probably more than they can logistically handle. Malnourished mothers and malnourished calves are more likely to reject and suffer milk quality degredation/be rejected, and I can't imagine bad diets do much for wool quality.

I have a layman's understanding of farming and animal husbandry however, so one of the more farm-oriented thread readers are likely to correct me.

That's why I always preface my optimistic statements about things that the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch SHOULD be doing with "IF they were smart".

But they aren't smart.