Off-Topic The Thread Where We Encourage Phil To Kill Himself -

[Totenkopf]

Do it, Phil.

Look at the facts.

- You are fat and ugly and smell like a dumpster (because you often live in one)
- You're burning all your bridges and don't know where to go next, you're running out of options
- God probably loves wannabe-negress-trannies, right? So you can go to heaven and not die of exposure in the streets

Cons to this plan:

- Heaven is a good place and therefore there will be no Facebook
- Jesus probably won't fig you

I think the answer is clear, Phil, it's time to die.

 

[Picklemaker]

Shame on you. You gotta let the fake suicide threat clock reset naturally; no cheating.

 

[Cubanodun]

Remember guys there is a prize of a full pack of mountain dew and 500 bucks in steam credits if someone manage to kill phil , a special bonus of a full year of doritos if you manage to gaslight him to his end

*offer only valid in place where steam is avaliable, shipping costs is payed by Noll, this promo is not endorsed by valve,doritos or mountain dew, in case you win dm noll for your prize

 

[Purple Man]

Why create separate thread, while all of previous ones contain a lot more valid and well explained reasons?
This is just redundant and I believe Philtato is already well informed of why he should end himself.
Besides, he is such a failure, that he'd even screw up his own suicide.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

Do it, Phil.

Look at the facts.

- You are fat and ugly and smell like a dumpster (because you often live in one)
- You're burning all your bridges and don't know where to go next, you're running out of options
- God probably loves wannabe-negress-trannies, right? So you can go to heaven and not die of exposure in the streets

Cons to this plan:

- Heaven is a good place and therefore there will be no Facebook
- Jesus probably won't fig you

I think the answer is clear, Phil, it's time to die.

Phil isn't going to heaven so none of what you said is valid

 

[CWICKQUARTER]

He should smash out his ugly rat teeth first.

 

[Don't Call Anybody]

Spoiler: This song sounds Joji wrote it especially for Phil and his kiwi fans.

Spoiler: Really, these lyrics are perfect.

PooPoo PeePee, Penis and Vagina,
Women with dicks and weak men with vaginas,
so fucking delicate like mommy's fine china,
If you have complaints please wait your turn and line up!
I got a message for these little fags trynna
be a mommy's boy and a teachers pet, pimple face, asswipe, looking like they just had a gyne-cologist
Stick five fingers in your ass, no lube.
So what'cha gonna do?
If you're number one, shove it up your ass and make it number 2. (Ooo)
Ladies getting mad in the comments, and I'm hearing it
You think it was a typo with these red lines and periods. (OoOoOoo)
Ha Ha no comma, bitches with their self esteem get out of the sauna.
My shit lies in the sewers, closing the hatch,
I only joke about diseases and reference that only you can catch. (Ew, oh my god.)
And if you think you're fucking grown up, keep breathing heavy with your keyboard and fedora.
Hands around your dick with the kung-fu grip, stroking back and forth to My Little Pony clips bitch.
Go outside and ride a bike or something,
And get laughed at by kids to remind you that you are NOTHING!
And then, get hit by every car or truck that ever passes,
Your life flashes before your eyes! Oh wait it's your Google Glasses.
Never mind faggot, just pick your ass up and take you to the closest sign faggot,
I'm not done yet, you get up and you go home,
Sit at your computer and open up Google Chrome,
And then look at tutorials oh how to hang yourself at home.
And then you can hang yourself.
Is-Is that the end of the story?
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, No son.

Kill yourself, please please kill yourself,
You should really kill yourselves. (x2)

I got a little bit of that anal cream for your asshole.

 

[CWCissey]

If you kill yourself, all us Kiwis will be really sad Phil. It would totally show us!

 

[Mecha-Lenin]

Ignoring for a moment how shitty it is to tell anyone to kill themselves (yes, Phil, but still)... Why do people think he is ever actually going to kill himself? He is too much of a selfish egoist to do that. He only says so because he wants to exploit people's good nature.

 

[grilledcheesesandwich]

Chairman Mao says: DO IT FAGGOT

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

ugly

 

[cumrobbery]

Phil more like kill

 

[VLAD]

But if he kills himself then he can't get raped and murdered in prison

 

[Adamska]

Be an example of communism Phil; work yourself to death in a gulag.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

I hope you die during surgery, Phil.

 

[chimpburgers]

The best hell for you is never getting your balls removed and never being able to ride a bike. When you do get a bike, I'm coming over to light it on fire because it's too capitalist for you.

 

[Randy Lahey]

die phil

 

[Sable]

If you kill yourself we won't have any new Phil stuff to laugh at!

Plus people that tangentially know you will try and turn you into a tranny martyr for attention, and you'll make Nool's suicide clock redundant.

As an added bonus your balls will rot off and you can ride your bike as a skeleton, and you won't have to worry about being some sort of flabby mound.

In short, Die Phil!