The Tom Deadpool - Here we place our Bets on the Expected Lifespan of a Nearly-Dead Hobo.

How Much Time Does Tom Have Left?

  • < 1 Year

  • 1 Year

  • 2-5 Years

  • 5-10 Years

  • 10-20 Years

  • Joke's on you, Spiteful DogFuckers Never Die!

Results are only viewable after voting.

I am a nigger
My grandfather had a number of debilitating incurable diseases over the course of his life, he was tremendously lucky in that he was able to receive regular treatment, and paradoxically, going to the doctor uncovered many diseases in their early stages. He lived to be 92. What is the point of this? Sometimes diseased things live the longest.


True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
I think he'll live a bit longer than 5 years. COPD is a slow killer but already on its way. However, he'll get more feeble as it progresses, meaning he'll be unable to do a lot of the things likely to kill him faster.


Viva la constipacion!
He's been dead for years. Inside his body are millions of bacteria that have evolved enough to move around as a colony, and Tom's rotting corpse is just the host. They've replaced most of his organs, except his lungs which they need to take in marijuana smoke, which they feed on. Much like Tom is immune to changing for the better, the bacteria are immune to all medicines. When Tom's body is worn out, we're all fucked, because they'll break out and start multiplying inside other people.

Microbiologists have attempted to study this phenomenon, but none of them could stand the smell long enough to obtain samples.

I voted 2-5. I hope he lasts to 2020 so we can see him chimp the fuck out when he doesn't get the magic vagina from the intergalactic space lizards that he claims he's been promised. Also, he has said he's going to murder/suicide if 2020 comes to pass without the return of said space lizards.