the truth about how i’m feeling... - 8/21/2019 -

SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
She considers YT to be her job, but she's too damn lazy to plan content besides "hey guys, I woke up today....hey guys, it's another day...oooh twinkie storrr.... hey guys, guess what? Another day! Watch me waddle around for 3 seconds... here's a candle... another day again. Well, that's all for this vlog!"

Seriously, at this point, watching her clear out her fridge would be more exciting. These aren't blogs, they're just confirmation that her 600lb body has made it another day on this earth.
 

Wyzzerd

Magical advice for reasonable fees.
kiwifarms.net
I'm not sure if it's possible for Amber to read. She has so much fat around her eyes and especially her cheeks that it must be really difficult to look down. So she must have to tilt her head way down but then she would be suffocated by the neck fat and she can barely hold her arms up so she can't hold the book in front of her face for long periods of time. I think she can only read on the laptop because the screen is held at an angle for her.

Amber makes me imagine what being a 600+ pound lardass would be like far too often...


On a more fun note, I can't decide who in the gaycare would be more fun to see finally snap and kill Amber. The butler, the mop, the adult, or the dog? All choices have their merit and all would be hilarious, but who would do it in the best fashion?
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
the truth about how i’m feeling... - 8/21/2019 (Day 64 of this 100-Day Nightmare)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- Any video with "the truth" means LAHS INCOMING.

- Hamber wishes she were wearing makeup today. (We all wish she'd buy a new bra and stop exposing the world to DingyBra.)

- They're picking up Necky's family members? (Where the fuck are they going to fit when Hamber takes up 50% of a 4-seater car's volume by herself?) And they're going back to the Shack to sweem!

- Hamber doesn't know if she's going to swim, because she's "having stomach problems". (No idea in the timeline if this is related to her period problem, her "water heartburn" problem, Navel Infection 2: Electric Boogaloo, etc. - but she mentions it could be gas. Also, reality is that she doesn't want to tempt death with another pool entrance/exit "si-chew-ation".)

- Necky is not visible because she went in the store. (HAMBEAST NEEDS WATER! OF THE PROPER PH LEVEL!)

- "I used to get heartburn every time I drank water." (Big fat fucking LAH, but it may explain why the Coldest Water Bottle is still on the counter, accused of a crime it didn't commit.)

- "Every just got done swimeen." Hamber clearly didn't swim. She just sat around like the lump she is, and had to use bug spray and STAINED THE LEGGEENS.

- MARIO PARTY! (There's still over 10 fucking minutes of this video??)

- The Next Day. More fucking bitching about her poor sleep. Blames the mood stabilizers, blames her "I don't nap often" lies, and blames the fact that she's had this issue "all mah life". (Maybe it's because her body is fucking dying and can't manage to self-regulate under the extreme weight it endures day in and day out.)

- The "NO NAP GORL" has officially morphed into "NAP GORL".

- Weight Watchers sent her an envelope? Is it a ceast and desist letter? Open mention of "not on track" occurs, which applies likely on SO many different levels.

- "FIVE POUND MILESTONE"? Are you fucking kidding? She's GAINED more than 5 pounds from the last marks in the timeline. She's upset it took WW THIS LONG to recognize her miniscule fluke, because it's LONG GONE, GORL.

- Oh yea. They're totally going to keep sending those to you, Hamber. (Unless you're just blatantly lying on WW's website and frauding them of those trinkets that could have gone to people ACTUALLY USING the program.)

- Oh no! The mood stabilizers make her sleep too much! Gotta talk to that psychiatrist! God forbid she spens more hours NOT eating, filming lies for the internet, or "BOLTH"! (Note: claims it's been 6 weeks on the stabilizers, for you timeline-fans)

- "It's always a nightmare." (So far, the winning quote for the episode in my book.)

- Book Update from LiterateLynn: Book is so good, that "all she ever wants to do is read". *internet collectively rolls its eyes*

- More bullshit about crying too much and being SO HAPPY she is actually trying to get out of the house more often and READING BOOKS.

- Brief appearance of Twinkie Storr, getting a huge treat.

- Dumb bitch can't even pronounce "Icelandic" while plugging her fucking basic water.

- "We're going to do a taste test of a freakin water, like who am I?" (You are Amberlynn Reid, and this is the "quality content" we've all disappointedly begun accepting from you.) SHOCKER IT'S FUCKING WATER.

- Twinkie Storr reappears, attempting to bite her in the goddamned face and whimpering at the pure sight/smell/touch of Hamber. Then wanders off into the distance and HAmber huffs and puffs from making the journey to slightly-out-of-doors.

- Dear Lord, ANOTHER day advanced? At this rate, we might escape July before mid-September! And she claims not to want to do "filler content"?? SMASH CUT TO FILLER CONTENT "outfit of the day situation" feat. Necky and (shocker) her graphic tee, sunglasses and snapback!

- 9:28: It is clear this HAS been several more days as the "more fingernail than polish" sausages make an appearance!

- Double snapback! Thanks, WOMMART!

- She's waddled to that tree again! And she brought the camera instead of showing the waddle-in-action from a distance. (11:02: Partial eclipse of the moonface. DEM ANGLES.)

- Hamber again refers to a candle as "yummy", suggesting that she indeed licks/eats candles. They are playing UNO.

- Necky FINALLY HAS THE CHANCE TO END HER SUFFEREEN at 11:57 and MISSES IT by letting Hamber escape the lighter when relighting the yummy candle.

- Vlog FINALLY over. It has been so many days and there has been NOTHING of substance.

TL;DR: You missed nothing beyond the humdrum nothingness of the advancement of a few more days in the timeline. Necky failed to slay the HamBeast with fire. SKIP.
DingyBra needs a goddamned trademark and the poor thing should be in a fucking museum. Also, this is how many naps out of the only 2 or 3 she takes per year?

ETA: Fucking LOL at the 5 elbee keychain as if it's some sort of 30 day sobriety chip.
 

bev

kiwifarms.net
Of course she can't read. She thinks about food, her weight, her next meal every minute of every day. Each sentence her eyes glaze over is drowned by thoughts of food passing through her throat and down her esophagus. It's all an incoherent jumble until the food comes for a temporary reprieve.

Like journals, she uses books as a badge of pride for a version of herself she never was and never will be.
 

Koresh

Vernon Wayne Howell
kiwifarms.net
Gorl is whining about psych drugs making her sleepy, but how does she know it's the drugs and not the rapid weight gain and her organs slowly shutting down?

Oh, she doesn't, she's just setting up excuses to publically announce she's off the stabilizers and "the girl" was the wrong fit for her. She might even steal what others were saying about her diagnoses being bull and why that was the case, say they're her own thoughts, all to prop herself up to morally grandstand over this woman who doesn't exist.

This Kentucky fried soap opera would be my favorite if not for all the filler episodes.
 

whammy

I’m Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.
kiwifarms.net
Lol she's so cavalier about being "off track". Her 600 lb frame is falling apart, and she shrugs and laughs it off.

She blames her mood stabilizers for her naps. No, dude, you're literally dying, but ok, it's the stabilizers.

This vlog is fucking horrifying, honestly. Imagine your knees failing when you try to stand up from your chair, or laying down and waking up gasping for breath every few minutes, or feeling so hopeless you laugh at your WW milestones because you've already gain that 5 lbs back and an extra 30 or so. I wonder if she thinks she still has time to reverse the damage.
i was thinking the same exact thing while. she mentions several symptoms of her body failing and she seems unable to connect them to the fact that she’s 5’3 and nearly 600 goddamn pounds. she’s carrying 5x her ideal bodyweight and she has the audacity to blame her heartburn on water, her abdominal pain on her sleeping position, her depression on her self-diagnosed bipolar disorder, her exhaustion on her mood stabilizers.

her habit of treating the symptoms of dying rather than addressing the cause of her dying is going to be one of her biggest downfalls. i don’t know if it’s her dysmorphia that tricks her into thinking she’s a dainty, coquettish sex kitten, or her narcissism that keeps digging her grave deeper to prevent her from admitting her 28 years of existence have been one long mistake, or her utter denial to accept that she is going to die if she doesn’t change - but something is keeping her from realizing the cause of her neverending list of ailments.

her heartburn? acid from her enlarged stomach, heart problems from her consistently high bp? who knows. it’s not caused by water.

napping? maybe because she barely gets any sleep at night since she suffocates herself half to death every 45 seconds, or because her body exerts so much energy just to keep her alive while her organs are beginning to fail.

depression and anxiety? known psychological symptoms associated with morbid obesity. charlie gold just made a video about this. seems like isolation (both social and physical), lack of mobility, inability to cope in a healthy manner, unaddressed trauma that typically leads to significant weight gain, and low self-esteem caused constant failures due to lack of education about nutrition may have something to do with that but no, no. it’s muh buhpolar.

abdominal pain? i can’t imagine what would cause this. it’s not like she has the weight of two grown men dangling off of her abdomen at all times. it’s not like she stuffs her stomach so full on a daily basis with sugary, processed garbage lacking in fiber and nutrients. i think she nailed this one - it’s probably her sleeping position.

it wouldn’t surprise me that, when she dies, it’ll be of a heart attack where she takes a hit off of a roommates inhaler to fix the tightness in her chest. or she’ll have a stroke and blame the fact that entire right side of her body is paralyzed on her sleeping position. can’t breathe at night from apnea? “cat allergies.” yellow skin from non-alcoholic fatty liver disease? “i need to get more sun.” pissing blood when her kidneys fail? “bring me my coldest water bottle.”

if somebody is super morbidly obese, it’s very important that they are hyper vigilant when it comes to symptoms of their poor health. they’re high risk patients. amberlynn’s heartburn isn’t like anybody else’s heartburn and webmd doesn’t know that a 600 lb woman just asked for home remedies for tummy aches or a general feeling of tiredness. that’s what a real doctor is for - a real doctor would look her in the eye and tell her that everything that is happening to her body is because of her weight and that, if she doesn’t take care of the source, it will kill her. soon.
 

Slappy McGherkin

Let me introduce you to coulrophobia.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
a real doctor would look her in the eye and tell her that everything that is happening to her body is because of her weight and that, if she doesn’t take care of the source, it will kill her. soon.
But... but... then she'll never have completed her 100 day upload challenge and will have failed at something else besides "living muh bestest life!"

Her dying is likely the only way the Amber cycle will ever be broken.
 

HomeAloneTwo

I was saying 'Boo-Urns'
kiwifarms.net
Can we get a spreadsheet of all the god awful earrings she wears?

Also, that poor nose ring is probably permanently adhered to her swollen nose.
 
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The Jokester

I'm bleeding again - what's up with that?!
kiwifarms.net
I'm not sure if it's possible for Amber to read. She has so much fat around her eyes and especially her cheeks that it must be really difficult to look down. So she must have to tilt her head way down but then she would be suffocated by the neck fat and she can barely hold her arms up so she can't hold the book in front of her face for long periods of time. I think she can only read on the laptop because the screen is held at an angle for her.

Amber makes me imagine what being a 600+ pound lardass would be like far too often...


On a more fun note, I can't decide who in the gaycare would be more fun to see finally snap and kill Amber. The butler, the mop, the adult, or the dog? All choices have their merit and all would be hilarious, but who would do it in the best fashion?
Oh that would make a great Agatha Cristie novel
 

Barbarella

Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
She sprayed bug spray on her pants/compression garments, turning them white. Rather than wash them, we are going to see those white stains for as long as we have had to look at that depressing bra.

If you asked her where Iceland is on a map, you’d get a blank, crooked stare. Which is what you’d expect from a 30 year old who loves books written for 13 year olds.

Have we dropped the “Becky lost 30 lbs” in this storyline? Cause she clearly hasn’t. And it makes sense she has great nephews, she dresses like a 79 year old man, with socks and sandals and shorts and tees over her potbelly. Except for her hat position and the pink on her socks, one wouldn’t know the difference.

Amber actually sent away for that keychain. She filled out some form, lied and said she took a 5 pound shit, and got her piece of steel. Hey, anything for free, right? She hates clutter, she doesn’t take naps, she’s afraid of burning candles and she’s under 600 lbs.
 

sweaty chafing thighs

kiwifarms.net
Yikes. It looks like those callouses some folks develop due to how they grip their writing tool, but I don't think she's left handed, is she? I know she likes to point like a defective toddler with that hand, though, and I've never noticed that before.
I went back and looked at a video of her writing and she's left handed, but how much writing do you have to do to get bumps like that? Most people (students?) don't get those so that's a whole hell of a lot of journaling and coloring from our big gorl and it doesn't really explain how she has it on two fingers.
 

Pinky&Perky

kiwifarms.net
She sprayed bug spray on her pants/compression garments, turning them white. Rather than wash them, we are going to see those white stains for as long as we have had to look at that depressing bra.

If you asked her where Iceland is on a map, you’d get a blank, crooked stare. Which is what you’d expect from a 30 year old who loves books written for 13 year olds.

Have we dropped the “Becky lost 30 lbs” in this storyline? Cause she clearly hasn’t. And it makes sense she has great nephews, she dresses like a 79 year old man, with socks and sandals and shorts and tees over her potbelly. Except for her hat position and the pink on her socks, one wouldn’t know the difference.

Amber actually sent away for that keychain. She filled out some form, lied and said she took a 5 pound shit, and got her piece of steel. Hey, anything for free, right? She hates clutter, she doesn’t take naps, she’s afraid of burning candles and she’s under 600 lbs.
I was waitiing for her hair to go up in flames - NOW THAT WOULD BE CONTENT!
 
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