the truth about how i’m feeling... - 8/21/2019 -

StrawberryDouche

kiwifarms.net
i was thinking the same exact thing while. she mentions several symptoms of her body failing and she seems unable to connect them to the fact that she’s 5’3 and nearly 600 goddamn pounds. she’s carrying 5x her ideal bodyweight and she has the audacity to blame her heartburn on water, her abdominal pain on her sleeping position, her depression on her self-diagnosed bipolar disorder, her exhaustion on her mood stabilizers.

her habit of treating the symptoms of dying rather than addressing the cause of her dying is going to be one of her biggest downfalls. i don’t know if it’s her dysmorphia that tricks her into thinking she’s a dainty, coquettish sex kitten, or her narcissism that keeps digging her grave deeper to prevent her from admitting her 28 years of existence have been one long mistake, or her utter denial to accept that she is going to die if she doesn’t change - but something is keeping her from realizing the cause of her neverending list of ailments.

her heartburn? acid from her enlarged stomach, heart problems from her consistently high bp? who knows. it’s not caused by water.

napping? maybe because she barely gets any sleep at night since she suffocates herself half to death every 45 seconds, or because her body exerts so much energy just to keep her alive while her organs are beginning to fail.

depression and anxiety? known psychological symptoms associated with morbid obesity. charlie gold just made a video about this. seems like isolation (both social and physical), lack of mobility, inability to cope in a healthy manner, unaddressed trauma that typically leads to significant weight gain, and low self-esteem caused constant failures due to lack of education about nutrition may have something to do with that but no, no. it’s muh buhpolar.

abdominal pain? i can’t imagine what would cause this. it’s not like she has the weight of two grown men dangling off of her abdomen at all times. it’s not like she stuffs her stomach so full on a daily basis with sugary, processed garbage lacking in fiber and nutrients. i think she nailed this one - it’s probably her sleeping position.

it wouldn’t surprise me that, when she dies, it’ll be of a heart attack where she takes a hit off of a roommates inhaler to fix the tightness in her chest. or she’ll have a stroke and blame the fact that entire right side of her body is paralyzed on her sleeping position. can’t breathe at night from apnea? “cat allergies.” yellow skin from non-alcoholic fatty liver disease? “i need to get more sun.” pissing blood when her kidneys fail? “bring me my coldest water bottle.”

if somebody is super morbidly obese, it’s very important that they are hyper vigilant when it comes to symptoms of their poor health. they’re high risk patients. amberlynn’s heartburn isn’t like anybody else’s heartburn and webmd doesn’t know that a 600 lb woman just asked for home remedies for tummy aches or a general feeling of tiredness. that’s what a real doctor is for - a real doctor would look her in the eye and tell her that everything that is happening to her body is because of her weight and that, if she doesn’t take care of the source, it will kill her. soon.
Nonsense. When she's in the morgue, the pathologist will stand over her and point to her death certificate and say "You're healthy, just dead!"

What the fuck are those bumps on her fingers at 9:28? Warts?
Oh my God. Those are callouses from holding a fork.
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
I went back and looked at a video of her writing and she's left handed, but how much writing do you have to do to get bumps like that? Most people (students?) don't get those so that's a whole hell of a lot of journaling and coloring from our big gorl and it doesn't really explain how she has it on two fingers.
I knew a couple of kids in school that had them, but I've never noticed them on her. She is a WrItEr after all. But, I'm pretty sure @StrawberryDouche nailed it though. Those are fucking fork callouses.
 

peengu

kiwifarms.net
If it really were a writing callous it probaby wouldn't be on that side of her middle finger anyway unless she holds her pen like a spastic. Not that I'd put it past her, mind.

They could also just be mozzie bites. A wee bit of redness would disappear into the shit brown of her knuckles with no issue. But then again death lumps on her hands is way more interesting.
 

Billie Ross

Duh
kiwifarms.net
When she said sarcastically "I can collect so many of these keychains with the HUNDREDS of pounds I'm gonna lose".... You can absolutely tell in her voice that she does not intend to lose shit. It's morbidly hilarious.
She'll collect many of those, from the 5 lbs she gain (with a few more) and drops again 10000 times, at the end of the year she'll have at least 100 x5lbs keychains and will weight 600lbs or 598.5lbs
is that poor little chair made of titanium ??? how that skinny $5 chair hold her dainty 600lbs body??????
 

Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
kiwifarms.net
I'm not sure if it's possible for Amber to read. She has so much fat around her eyes and especially her cheeks that it must be really difficult to look down. So she must have to tilt her head way down but then she would be suffocated by the neck fat and she can barely hold her arms up so she can't hold the book in front of her face for long periods of time. I think she can only read on the laptop because the screen is held at an angle for her.

Amber makes me imagine what being a 600+ pound lardass would be like far too often...

On a more fun note, I can't decide who in the gaycare would be more fun to see finally snap and kill Amber. The butler, the mop, the adult, or the dog? All choices have their merit and all would be hilarious, but who would do it in the best fashion?
Wiz, you have made me imagine a Crowdfunded or Kickstater campaign for an ALR-centric fighting game.
Big Ham, Necky, MushMuppet Eric, and Rickie are all fighters. Twinkie could even get in as a character (if Rocket Raccoon can in Marvel vs Capcom then why not?)
Hell, let's include Chantal, LifeByJen, the Slaton Sisters, and Fat Amy as stretch goal bonus characters.

Haydur Nation fighter DLC pack (Michael be Fatty, Zachary Michael, KICKING Geese, etc) next year.

Vote for the ALR Smackdown RAW & REAL fighting game to make it to EVO guys come on.
 

Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
kiwifarms.net
“I never take naps” [proceeds to sleep 11+ hours a day]
Riveting.
The dozens and dozens of pounds of blubber choking her to death on her neck and chest wake her up (Obstructive Sleep Apnea, but she's totally healthy boo boo!) every 45-60 seconds all night long. So....what? Do we count those 60 seconds of lardy "sleep" 11 collective hours of micro-naps? She can't sleep but she sleeps all day and she never naps except for when she takes a nap?

You guys know she's just trolling with the Napping thing right? Its cause she knows it riles people up.
 

whammy

I’m Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.
kiwifarms.net
Oh that would make a great Agatha Cristie novel
hamber would never read it *sigh* the only reason she cracked stephen king that one time was because it was a novella, she wanted to flex that she can read a big kid book, and it had lesbians. her poor literary choices are reflected in her poor powers of description, ability to build a narrative, characterization, etc that you can see in her positively riveting lesbian cruise fan fiction, or that other one she claimed to write in high school even though there were clues indicating it was written around or during the becky era.

the book she’s reading now is middle-grade fare right out of the “blossoming” YA section. it’s also not very good. i can’t imagine a nearly 30 year old woman getting enjoyment from it, to be honest.
 

Wyzzerd

Magical advice for reasonable fees.
kiwifarms.net
Wiz, you have made me imagine a Crowdfunded or Kickstater campaign for an ALR-centric fighting game.
Big Ham, Necky, MushMuppet Eric, and Rickie are all fighters. Twinkie could even get in as a character (if Rocket Raccoon can in Marvel vs Capcom then why not?)
Hell, let's include Chantal, LifeByJen, the Slaton Sisters, and Fat Amy as stretch goal bonus characters.

Haydur Nation fighter DLC pack (Michael be Fatty, Zachary Michael, KICKING Geese, etc) next year.

Vote for the ALR Smackdown RAW & REAL fighting game to make it to EVO guys come on.
Expand to include the entire farms and their cows. The Grand Kiwi Thunderdome! Hundreds of cows enter! Burgers are made! And only one King of Kiwis shall be crowned!!!!
 

Lesbian Sleepover

Party Announcement
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
We're at fever-pitch-levels of less-than-mediocre here, content wise. It's so stale, I could set a python lib AI agent to do a deep fake to make her videos.
Here's every video:

"Hi Gaiz!
OMG the lighting in here is just..ugh
I normally wear makeup
Wommart trip
<shitty stock techno music>
My animals
Water brash
<side eye's other residents during filming for entering room>
"WHOOPS" displayed with "I forgot to end this blog and could just turn the camera on but I'm a fat fucking asshole brain"

/PRINT
 

mekalekahi

I resigned up for weight watchers
kiwifarms.net
Picture getting in a car and the person in the front seat is spilling into the driver seat and wearing a brown dirt caked bra. Amber thinks shes superior to necky's family and yet she wears things like that to greet them and fills the car with her sour funky fumes. Who sat downwind from her?
 
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