Violent Fighter for MS-DOS, I remember realizing what a piece of shit it was after finally getting it to run on my PC.
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The Worst Shovelware Video Games You've Ever Played -
- Thread starter SavorySheikah
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Sister services, email, and search will continue to be negatively effected by the attacks. I made a thread to talk about it, if you're into networking.
Man, Cartoon Network games seem to range entirely from mediocre to awful, whereas Nickelodeon has actually produced some borderline classics (Tak and the Power of Juju, the Heavy Iron SpongeBob games). I do like the first Adventure Time game though.
Ooh, that brings back some bad memories. When I first played it, I experienced a glitch where my character would not stop moving, so I thought it was a problem with the game itself and never played it again. Aside from that, it just seems mediocre. I was quite fond of Spore Creatures on the DS as a kid though.
From what I remember, it's Spore but worse and also a beat-em-up for some reason.
I liked Spore better when it was called E.V.O.: Search for Eden.
Here's one you may know from Game Grumps. I found it in a pawn shop and immediately regretted it. Late in the SNES life cycle, there was an awful platformer called Mohawk and Headphone Jack. Essentially Cool Spot meets the Special Stages from Sonic 1.
Ugly graphics. No plot. Vast, empty levels that are impossible to navigate due to a lack of actual, y'know platforms. This game makes Bubsy look like Sands of Time. It makes Awesome Possum look like Mario Odyssey.
Here's one you may know from Game Grumps. I found it in a pawn shop and immediately regretted it. Late in the SNES life cycle, there was an awful platformer called Mohawk and Headphone Jack. Essentially Cool Spot meets the Special Stages from Sonic 1.
Ugly graphics. No plot. Vast, empty levels that are impossible to navigate due to a lack of actual, y'know platforms. This game makes Bubsy look like Sands of Time. It makes Awesome Possum look like Mario Odyssey.
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I seen a few videos of that game. An early SNES game made by Enix and looks pretty fun TBH.
It's a sequel to a Japan-only title. Gaia appears in both. Her enemy is "Lucifer" by way of Marilyn Monroe:
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I know Cool Spot was one of those generic European collectathons with confusing level design in some stages (especially any level set inside the walls) but I still think it was one of the better-looking Sega Genesis platformers (if you ignore the vertical line "transparencies" which are much more obvious on modern LCD screens than they were on good, old-fashioned fuzzy CRT screens).
Obviously, the SNES version had better transparencies but I only ever played the Genesis version.
What's the deal with that, anyway?
Gregg Mayle's trousers get real tight when a counter appears.
I think European Sega Mega Drive platform games, especially from British studios, featuring maze-like levels with hundreds of collectables are a carryover from the Amiga and Atari ST, where such games became popular and which were the first 16-bit machines that a lot of those British studios programmed games for before they started also making games for the Mega Drive.
I know that, obviously, there are also many collectables in Japanese-developed platform game series like Super Mario Bros. and Sonic the Hedgehog but there was a certain chaotic and haphazard quality that was more unique to the British-made collectathons like James Pond.
For some reason your post made me think of the game Putty Squad, which has an absolutely hideous HD remake.
Total Recall for the NES
I was obsessed with trying to beat this game as a kid. Never did because the game was a dumpster fire, I knew it was shit even back then but for some reason this was my white whale to conquer
Had a Bible game on my Game Boy called Joshua that was essentially just a shitty reskin of Crystal Mines that I played a ton of as well
I consider Quest 64 shovelware. I’m still pissed at myself for getting hyped for that game and asking my parents to make that my Christmas gift
I was obsessed with trying to beat this game as a kid. Never did because the game was a dumpster fire, I knew it was shit even back then but for some reason this was my white whale to conquer
Had a Bible game on my Game Boy called Joshua that was essentially just a shitty reskin of Crystal Mines that I played a ton of as well
I consider Quest 64 shovelware. I’m still pissed at myself for getting hyped for that game and asking my parents to make that my Christmas gift
Apparently, Putty Squad was designed as an Amiga game but the only version that got published was for SNES (Europe-only) in 1994 but then System 3 finally released the Amiga version for free on their website at the end of 2013, almost two decades later.
Everything about that game is cursed.
Nintendo Power promoted it with a sweepstakes in which the winner would "meet" Arnold. It took years to deliver on their promise, and all the kid got was a quick handshake.
Precious Bodily Fluids
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Worst I actually owned has got to be the Powerpuff Girls games on the GBC.
I also made the terrible mistake of BUYING Army Men Green Rogue, some of the Army Men games were alright, some were outright shovelware, most I rented but Green Rogue's cover impressed me so much and it was rented out that I begged my mom to take me to EB to buy it.
There was the cool intro cutscene as those games always had, I thought "hell yeah" and then the game started and I immediately hated it.
There was also Army Men Advance which I bought which was even worse shovelware, then I also bought Portal Runner, thankfully that one wasn't too bad, but 3DO really knew how to sucker kids like me, make a game with a cool premise, a cool cover and a cool CGI intro, all centered around a shitty game.
Looking back though the whole vibe of their games was so agreeably cheesy and fun, it's just a shame they didn't manage to deliver in the gameplay department more often than not.
I'm shocked no one has tried to bring Army Men back as a Fortnite clone though, have a bunch of Army Men and other toys fight out a Battle Royale in someone's backyard, that's such an obvious idea.
I also made the terrible mistake of BUYING Army Men Green Rogue, some of the Army Men games were alright, some were outright shovelware, most I rented but Green Rogue's cover impressed me so much and it was rented out that I begged my mom to take me to EB to buy it.
There was the cool intro cutscene as those games always had, I thought "hell yeah" and then the game started and I immediately hated it.
There was also Army Men Advance which I bought which was even worse shovelware, then I also bought Portal Runner, thankfully that one wasn't too bad, but 3DO really knew how to sucker kids like me, make a game with a cool premise, a cool cover and a cool CGI intro, all centered around a shitty game.
Looking back though the whole vibe of their games was so agreeably cheesy and fun, it's just a shame they didn't manage to deliver in the gameplay department more often than not.
I'm shocked no one has tried to bring Army Men back as a Fortnite clone though, have a bunch of Army Men and other toys fight out a Battle Royale in someone's backyard, that's such an obvious idea.
Anachronistic
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There's a really shitty Trials HD ripoff called World Enduro Rally that I hate with a passion. It's clearly just an asset flip because the graphics and objects throughout the game vary wildly. (A stage could have a LiS-style background with a photorealistic school bus next to clipart timber logs for example).
Getting the gold medals is almost impossible because the time constraints are super tight to the point where even a clean, perfect run won't guarantee you'll get a gold. But the medals are also tied to the game servers so you could get a gold on one track but your stats won't show it unless you refresh the page several times.
Finally, the developer is clearly lying or at the very least stupidly smug about his product because the Steam page for the game is full of lies. It speaks of "Awesome graphics" and "Very realistic physics". Keep in mind, the bikes in this game struggle on 20' degree tarmac surfaces.
Getting the gold medals is almost impossible because the time constraints are super tight to the point where even a clean, perfect run won't guarantee you'll get a gold. But the medals are also tied to the game servers so you could get a gold on one track but your stats won't show it unless you refresh the page several times.
Finally, the developer is clearly lying or at the very least stupidly smug about his product because the Steam page for the game is full of lies. It speaks of "Awesome graphics" and "Very realistic physics". Keep in mind, the bikes in this game struggle on 20' degree tarmac surfaces.
HighwayStar
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Batman Forever for the Super Nintendo. To this day, I still have no idea how to beat the first stage.
That first screen will live in infamy.
You're missing nothing. It's a bland beat 'em up for the most part. I don't know why they filled it with platform sections. It's not fatal (except stage 3 which is timed), but it does waste your time.
Kairosoft got pretty mediocre after a certain point and GDS is by far their best, but Magazine Mogul and Manga Works are solid IMO
Making knockoffs of real-life games in GDS was fun as hell. Hitman = "Hired Killer", Grand Theft Auto = "Grand Larceny", and so forth.
And it was surprisingly addictive to try and max out your jobs before time ran out. I wound up with the biggest market share and was pretty proud of it. Of course you need a FAQ at hand for that.
