TheReportOfTheWeek / Reviewbrah - fancy lad fast food reviewer

    • t.me/kiwifarms is our Telegram for downtime and announcements.
    • The .is domain is disabled due to issues with the CDN and having multiple domains.

Angel Dust

Adoption is Death to the Real Family
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Assuming he eats fast food twice a week for his videos, and he either exercises or has a day job with some sort of physical activity, it's not unreasonable that he's going to stay at a normal weight.

There was a "day in the life" vlog he did a couple years back where he says he eats fast food for every meal and very rarely cooks anything. At most he'll toss a chicken breast in a pan, but he admits he doesn't like it as much. He showed his snack table of what he likes to eat, oreos, Doritos, all kinds of chips and some candy. Mentions he drinks soda or sweet tea mostly. He even broke down what he orders (mainly McDonald's) at every meal. Iirc he lived near one at that time so he went a lot. He could've totally been bullshitting, the table of junk food could've been someone else's, but who knows. The mysteries of Review Brah go unsolved.
 

Likely

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 29, 2013
There was a "day in the life" vlog he did a couple years back where he says he eats fast food for every meal and very rarely cooks anything. At most he'll toss a chicken breast in a pan, but he admits he doesn't like it as much. He showed his snack table of what he likes to eat, oreos, Doritos, all kinds of chips and some candy. Mentions he drinks soda or sweet tea mostly. He even broke down what he orders (mainly McDonald's) at every meal. Iirc he lived near one at that time so he went a lot. He could've totally been bullshitting, the table of junk food could've been someone else's, but who knows. The mysteries of Review Brah go unsolved.
Even if he ate fast food twice a day, and had snacks, it's not unreasonable that he'd stay thin.

2 x McDouble = 780
2 x Small Potato = 460
2 x Med Soda = 340
1 x Bag of Chips = 250
1 x Small Oreos = 140
Total: 1970 calories

That is not a healthy diet. However, if the average 30 year old man ate that every day, and walked 30 minutes a day, he would likely not gain weight.

Unless a doctor has told you otherwise, to your face, it always has been and always will be calories in, calories out.
 

DX10

kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 5, 2014
I think the general deal is that plant-based shit is okay when it's in crumbles imitating sausage or hamburger or something with no definite texture spread out through the dish. When you try to make it have the same texture as meat with actual texture like steak or chicken nuggets, there's just a real uncanny valley effect.

And the people in the comments said they got them and they were tough and gummy like reviewbrah's.

Poor guy seems totally despairing about his experience and can't even bring himself to go on a rant.
I've had decent plant-based nuggets but those look like fucking hot garbage.

Wait his last name is Jurasek? I always had a suspicion he was secretly a Centauri.
It's a joke. A play on "Jurassic". For he predates time.
 

paztoe

yea I did that shit
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 21, 2022
anyone know if that photo of him looking like an emo from high school is real? I have a theory first started out doing review videos right after getting home from catholic church. which would explain the suite. he got so many views for the suit he decided to make it an act. take away the suite & his voice is that on a typical nerd.
 

AnOminous

I hated Woody Woodpecker and Scooby-Doo.
Retired Staff
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
anyone know if that photo of him looking like an emo from high school is real? I have a theory first started out doing review videos right after getting home from catholic church. which would explain the suite. he got so many views for the suit he decided to make it an act. take away the suite & his voice is that on a typical nerd.
That may be the case. If you'll note, his early suits were pretty substandard by today's standards. Whether it started as an act, though, he's really gotten into it. He does all kinds of fancy lad shit, detachable collars, that kind of stuff. He started out looking like a K-Mart assistant manager or something but now actually looks classy.
 

AbyssStarer

Birb lovr
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Brah being emo in high school tracks with some of the things he's said in his podcast, like with his solitude and black pilling. He started to wear suits back then so it would work with not having friends in school.
I listened to this episode recently where he talks about the early days.
 

timewave0

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 29, 2020
He just needs to start working out and eating better so he can ascend to his rightful status as Steve the MRE guy
0976079B-1E8A-4EDA-B494-F2AF2E777A3F.jpeg
 

Captain Hastings Official

"Good Lord..."
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 17, 2019
I don't know how many of you listen to his podcast, but on the most recent episode he received an e-mail from some guy who was deeply concerned about deepfakes and their effects on women & society, and Mr. Brah said that he agreed with the e-mailers points, and that he has received deepfakes of himself engaging in sexual activity. And, OK, look, I'm glad that people recognize that Reviewbrah is in fact what peak performance looks like, but on the other hand, holy shit, what's wrong with people.
 

AnOminous

I hated Woody Woodpecker and Scooby-Doo.
Retired Staff
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
I listen to it. It's very cosy if you grew up on late night talk radio and are interested in weird shit like cryptids.

He really seems to hate being sexualised, even mildly, so no wonder that set him off. I'm guessing he's one of these asexuals I keep hearing about.
I bet it would cause a nuclear cataclysm if someone did a deepfake of him with Jenny Nicholson.
 

stupid orc

gramer is 4 faggots
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 10, 2020
does anyone know where he grew up/ where he lives now? not dox just general area.
 

XYZpdq

fbi most wanted sskealeaton
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 25, 2013
I listen to it. It's very cosy if you grew up on late night talk radio and are interested in weird shit like cryptids.

He really seems to hate being sexualised, even mildly, so no wonder that set him off. I'm guessing he's one of these asexuals I keep hearing about.
Reviewbrah would be a worthy successor to Art Bell, not like Snoory.
does anyone know where he grew up/ where he lives now? not dox just general area.
Last I heard he was Space Coast-ish? East coast FL about mid-way up the state. I remember he drove to the McPizza and iirc there's literally only one place on Earth to go to for that, Orlando near Universal at the McD with The World's Biggest Playplace, even rocking Moon Man shit into the 2010s or so.
I think he might have relatives up more Carolinas-ish he crashes with sometimes, too?
 

serious n00b

Autism talks: Everything else walks
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 7, 2020
I had a nightmare where I was in the future where everything I'd way worse and the food would be considered by ancestors to be inferior and basically bad for you. Turns out it became a reality with plant based meat.
It's been a reality for a while. Talk to elderly people about making food and their thoughts on food today.
 

hotcheetospuffs

People who eat people are the luckiest people
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 22, 2017
Is it just me or is he looking a bit Euginia Cooney-like lately? Note the sunken eyes and long-palmed bony hands and skinny wrists from his last vidwo. He's always been a scant gentleman, but it's hard to tell since he wears those oversized vintage suits. He's also been filming his videos from his parents' house for the last couple of months. Donchu ever die, Reviewbrah. This God-forsaken world needs you.

Screen Shot 2022-04-05 at 6.03.18 PM.png
Screen Shot 2022-04-05 at 6.03.46 PM.png
 

XYZpdq

fbi most wanted sskealeaton
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 25, 2013
Is it just me or is he looking a bit Euginia Cooney-like lately? Note the sunken eyes and long-palmed bony hands and skinny wrists from his last vidwo. He's always been a scant gentleman, but it's hard to tell since he wears those oversized vintage suits. He's also been filming his videos from his parents' house for the last couple of months. Donchu ever die, Reviewbrah. This God-forsaken world needs you.

View attachment 3149155 View attachment 3149156
iirc he's always sorta looked like the saucermen didn't quite nail the skin application to his bones, like those finicky waterslide decals for scale models where if you nail it perfectly then it looks great but otherwise it's this weird uncanny thing
 

hotcheetospuffs

People who eat people are the luckiest people
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 22, 2017
I eat less than 900 calories a day, I have a slow metabolism. I am close to being overweight.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER EATS THOUSANDS AND IS SO SKINNY
ahhhhhhccccctually, he only eats about 1 meal a day and goes for long walks. He made a video about it.

Maybe you should get a food scale or get off your ass once in awhile, Fatty.