Threads you are too lazy to make - ...or threads you would like to see

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fuzzypickles

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm on the fence on this one, as the guy running the site seems sane enough, but many of the people who follow him strike me as having a few screws loose sometimes; especially after some recent fiasco over rigging a Smash Bros. related poll. There's more stuff there I've seen by posters that I think is really weird, but I'm not spergy enough too lazy to dig up. Then again, isn't it inevitable that you'd see autistic behavior coming from people obsessed over a cartoon fox?

https://krystalarchive.com/
 
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BillionBisonBucks

Soon will be worth five billion pounds
kiwifarms.net
Apparently some kickstarter game hired an absolute lunatic to do their music, and as of today, Alex Mauer's mental issues suddenly include every youtuber who put up anything involving the game. An absolute shitstorm of false DMCAs followed.

Here's the developer giving a pretty good picture of her lolcowdom
. I'm especially interested in what those 'medical issues' might be, and if perhaps they involved elective surgery.
 

Cato

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I was very surprised to find that, unless the search function is failing me, Chris Constantine/gorilla199 doesn't have a thread here. He was my very first lolcow, before even that term or this website existed.

This is probably his magnum opus (just watch the first 35 seconds), but he created many equally batshit vids:


His ED page: https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Gorilla199

His youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/gorilla199

I would create a thread, except for the fact that he apparently hasn't been active online for about 2 years and may be dead. Nonetheless, there are plenty of lolcow threads from back when he was active and I'm shocked I couldn't find any dusty old thread about him.

EDIT/UPDATE - Since I saw this thread got bumped and people were interacting with this post again, I should mention that gorilla199 is active again and I have created a thread: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-constantine-gorilla199.33957/
 
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Reynard

Anonymous Vixen Behind a Screen
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Apparently some kickstarter game hired an absolute lunatic to do their music, and as of today, Alex Mauer's mental issues suddenly include every youtuber who put up anything involving the game. An absolute shitstorm of false DMCAs followed.

Here's the developer giving a pretty good picture of her lolcowdom
. I'm especially interested in what those 'medical issues' might be, and if perhaps they involved elective surgery.
I think Kickstarter and crowdfunding sites in general could warrant a thread dedicated to the shitty and/or scammy projects in there if they don't already exist. I should probably do that if they don't.
 

Microlab

Chihuahuas are a figment of your imagination
kiwifarms.net
Once or twice considered making one on TechRax, but he's actually a pretty cool guy who's capitalizing impressively off of a dumb trend and hatewatching. He responded pretty well to when H3H3 made that video on him, and generally seems very self-aware about how dumb his videos are. His only real controversy is that one time he killed a bunch if roaches for a video but lol they're roaches.

His videos aren't even that bad, either: he seems to genuinely enjoy making them, and obviously has a lot of fun. Honestly, getting a bunch of free, overly expensive trash to destroy however you want, and then getting paid for it, sounds like a nice gig.
He's sort of endearingly innocent and childish in his videos, too, and does stuff like melt those wireless iPhone earbuds and then talk about how it looks like a beautiful marshmallow and he wants to eat it.

Also, he rarely cuts out mishaps, which leads to absolute gold like this:

So I don't think he really warrants a thread, because his videos are funny in a lot more of a guilty-pleasure way than anything, and he's just a boring basketball fan on Twitter otherwise. But I do recommend his channel if you want to see a sugar-obsessed Ukranian manchild constantly grab at exploded smartphones and boiled acid without gloves on.

Edit: Video embedding
 

Sylvie Paula Paula

Running at 500 "bi"s per minute
kiwifarms.net
DeviantART closed species: A really good way to get money out of furry teenagers (and adults), and a good way to cause drama between said furries. More specifically, the Bagbeans "ARPG" group; full of rich children and run by mods quickly approaching 30 who act like the children they're catering to.
 

Haramburger

kiwifarms.net
There's drama in the Magic: The Gathering online community between a not-playing cosplayer Christine Sprankle "quitting the scene" citing nebulous harassment & a ginger neckbeard named Jeremy Hambly who offhandedly criticized her once in a video six months ago. It has some hallmarks of cow-like behavior on both sides, but I feel like the controversy will peter out and not sustain itself as the news cycle changes.


VS.



Edit: originally searched the names unsuccessfully before posting, tried other terms after the 'late' react & searching "Unsleeved" found an ongoing discussion on a board I didn't frequent.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/magic-the-gathering-cosplay-deplatforming-salt.36868/
 
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Audit_The_Autist

spoopy harry potter cloak with a hitachi wand
kiwifarms.net
I'd love it if someone made a bestgore.com community thread. They seem to backup shit that even liveleaks won't touch and a brief looks through their forums makes it look like they're the gore equivalent of kiwifarms.
 
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Most Epic Newfag

kiwifarms.net
I thread that I'd like to see would be on this YouTuber, Princess Games.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChZMPMy7m2uWvLfsk9gV-7Q
She plays some flash game called Moviestar Planet and constantly gets into fights with other children in the "community."
She also claimed she's a sexual assault survivor because of some shit that supposedly happened with the police.
I just doubt that there would be enough content for a thread, which is sad.
 

Literal Rabbit

Furrybait
kiwifarms.net
I'd absolutely love to see a Gato/Gurobob thread. She was one of the co-creators of a popular torture porn vn called Boyfriend to Death. She chimps out on her fans quite often. Loves to play the victim card every time. Also currently going through a divorce and talks shit about her future ex-husband on her tumblr blog.

I am a little torn about making it myself, since it's not that constant of a thing
 
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[Insert Meme Here]

Bonjour--I mean, Buenos Diás!
kiwifarms.net
I'd absolutely love to see a Gato/Gurobob thread. She was one of the co-creators of a popular torture porn vn called Boyfriend to Death. She chimps out on her fans quite often. Loves to play the victim card every time. Also currently going through a divorce and talks shit about her future ex-husband on her tumblr blog.
I took a quick look at her blog and didn't see much of what you were talking about... seems like a generic tumblr girl from a glance. But oh my god, the "poems".
I stood in a room
Around me, everyone I knew
I stood in a room
Faces all I recognized
A sharp whisper,
‘Don’t look at me’
I turned, and
I stood in a room
Around me, faces I knew
A light dimmed,
‘Don’t look at me’
I turned, faster
Around me, faces
I turned in a room
‘Don’t look at me’
Around me, dim shapes
I twisted in a room
‘Don’t look at me’
I searched for someone I knew
I stood in darkness
Around me, nothing
A sharp whisper,
‘You are not alone’
A hand on my shoulder
A light came on
Around me, everyone who loved me
The rest,
Scattered like insects.

-----

[ 3am vent poetry ]

You
Selfish worm.
Dead eyes, despise, jealousy
Your only fire.
How dare you call me yours
When you choked the life out of me
Just for living.
Liar.
You see no good when it doesn’t
Benefit you.
Did you think I wouldn’t notice?
The way you disappeared
Whenever I felt joy
From anywhere but you?

I loved you more than anyone.
You lied to yourself.
Put a monster’s mask on me.
So it would be easier
To tear me apart.

You believe your own lies.
You say you ‘do good’
But,
When someone faceless stumbled,
And blood poured in the ocean,
You were always first to the corpse.

Bottom feeder.
It's like an edgy 14 y/o, and this woman was married for 10 years?
 

Next Task

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I've thought for a while that https://www.metafilter.com and its attendant boards, especially https://metatalk.metafilter.com/ were ripe for a thread. It's a hugbox SJW community whose main difference from places like Something Awful and ResetEra is that the mods are actually paid. But it's got the same behaviours, like 'we're the best place on the internet/this is a cesspool of marginalising women/minorities' bleating and 'everyone who doesn't agree with me is Hitler', plus what appear to be weekly threads of thousands of comments each talking about how Trump is literally coming into their home and destroying their lives.

That, plus several existing lolcows have a history with the site, which makes it an interesting from an archival perspective.
 
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