Tommy Wasserberg & Philip Haskins Delici - A modern love story

MasterDisaster

I'm here for the juice, baby.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I know that when it comes to cows it's best to keep them in seperate pastures. I'm confident that this'll be seen as some sort of joke and downvoted into oblivion but I have nothing but the utmost sincerity when I say Tommy Tooter and Phil would make a hilariously perfect couple. They've got quite a bit in common;

Both hate the government. They rely on it to survive but insist they're constantly under watch due to how 'dangerous' they are.

They're needy attention whores with nothing but free time, endlessly screaming into a void in the desperate drive for validation.

@Miss Tommie Jayne Wasserberg and ADF see themselves as valuable members of their community. Tom sees himself as some sort of motherly patron while Phil is some sort of vigilante super soldier that patrols the streets from the safety of his hovel.

Both of them hate bathing and cleaning. Living in filth, garbage...surrounded by unwashed clothes and dried/rotting food. With Tom around Phil would never starve what with those dumpster diving skills.

Phil can't get laid and Tom is desperate to bone. Seeing as how both of them barely understand sexuality Tom could get a dude with a stankslit and Phil gets a ladyman with a penis so small he'd never feel it. Win win.

Phil wants to be coddled and Tommy wants to mommy someone younger than him.

Both of them have a list of self imposed titles to describe themselves. Complicated nonsense meant to make them look impressive and unique it instead makes them seem crazy and disjointed.

They're horrible at finances. They waste money on shit they don't needs and then beg people to cover their mistakes.

Unlike Toren Tom can't kick Phils ass and Phil can't kick Toms. Two weaklings pretending they can take on the world.

They both hate Kiwi Farms and yet spend all their time here, pretending that we're always just around the corner, ready to strike.

Both have scorned friends and family to the point that they have a few, if any, reliable associates left. They're comfortable attacking women because men have already kicked their asses.

They live in a time warp. Phil still thinks he's eighteen and Tom still thinks he's thirty. Both are under the delusion they're sexually attractive.

Tom longs to be raped; he feels it would justify his 'feminine' nature because the only reason someone would want to rape him is 'because' he's a desirable female. Phil want to capture/rape someone because it'd be a power trip with a huge ego boost.

Neither of them are satisfied with just being a part of something; they're the perfect example of any facet they align with. Tom isn't just a hippie. He's Hippie Prime. Phil isn't just in Antifa: he's the crime minister. Of course these two shiny, golden gods would get along great.

With Slingblade heading out the door it's the perfect time to bring these to lovebirds together.
You can't imagine the smell.
 
Last edited:

yawning sneasel

Chadministrator
Staff Member
Community Admin
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
They talked for 5 mins in the past. It didn't go well. Tom also talked to Greta and Nina for a bit and that didn't go well either. At one point, Greta informed her followers to not listen to tom because he is a Kiwi Farms member, to which they blocked him. Tom talked to ADF for a second on FB messenger about KF and when tom didn't prove useful he got blocked.
 

MasterDisaster

I'm here for the juice, baby.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
They talked for 5 mins in the past. It didn't go well. Tom also talked to Greta and Nina for a bit and that didn't go well either. At one point, Greta informed her followers to not listen to tom because he is a Kiwi Farms member, to which they blocked him. Tom talked to ADF for a second on FB messenger about KF and when tom didn't prove useful he got blocked.
Desperation is the strongest aphrodisiac.
Tom walked sixteen blocks to shove cucumbers in a stranger. Anything is possible.
 

Knojkamarangasan_#4

EVIL TOXIC NARCISSIST
kiwifarms.net
I know that when it comes to cows it's best to keep them in seperate pastures. I'm confident that this'll be seen as some sort of joke and downvoted into oblivion but I have nothing but the utmost sincerity when I say Tommy Tooter and Phil would make a hilariously perfect couple. They've got quite a bit in common;

Both hate the government. They rely on it to survive but insist they're constantly under watch due to how 'dangerous' they are.

They're needy attention whores with nothing but free time, endlessly screaming into a void in the desperate drive for validation.

@Miss Tommie Jayne Wasserberg and ADF see themselves as valuable members of their community. Tom sees himself as some sort of motherly patron while Phil is some sort of vigilante super soldier that patrols the streets from the safety of his hovel.

Both of them hate bathing and cleaning. Living in filth, garbage...surrounded by unwashed clothes and dried/rotting food. With Tom around Phil would never starve what with those dumpster diving skills.

Phil can't get laid and Tom is desperate to bone. Seeing as how both of them barely understand sexuality Tom could get a dude with a stankslit and Phil gets a ladyman with a penis so small he'd never feel it. Win win.

Phil wants to be coddled and Tommy wants to mommy someone younger than him.

Both of them have a list of self imposed titles to describe themselves. Complicated nonsense meant to make them look impressive and unique it instead makes them seem crazy and disjointed.

They're horrible at finances. They waste money on shit they don't needs and then beg people to cover their mistakes.

Unlike Toren Tom can't kick Phils ass and Phil can't kick Toms. Two weaklings pretending they can take on the world.

They both hate Kiwi Farms and yet spend all their time here, pretending that we're always just around the corner, ready to strike.

Both have scorned friends and family to the point that they have a few, if any, reliable associates left. They're comfortable attacking women because men have already kicked their asses.

They live in a time warp. Phil still thinks he's eighteen and Tom still thinks he's thirty. Both are under the delusion they're sexually attractive.

Tom longs to be raped; he feels it would justify his 'feminine' nature because the only reason someone would want to rape him is 'because' he's a desirable female. Phil want to capture/rape someone because it'd be a power trip with a huge ego boost.

Neither of them are satisfied with just being a part of something; they're the perfect example of any facet they align with. Tom isn't just a hippie. He's Hippie Prime. Phil isn't just in Antifa: he's the crime minister. Of course these two shiny, golden gods would get along great.

With Slingblade heading out the door it's the perfect time to bring these to lovebirds together.
You can't imagine the smell.
Okay guys fire up the fanfiction skills, I’m ready to do this ?
 
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