DeagleDad420
kiwifarms.net
http://parkourdude91.tumblr.com/post/88372556643/top-5-weed-soldiers-i-want-in-my-tactical-squad
So Jace just posted this on Twitter. I'm skimming it now, it's... autistic. Really autistic.
Quote:
From Commanders to FNG’s, Every Squaddie knows one thing: If your pinned down inside a warzone with bunch of losers on your team, your really FUBAR.
Thats why you want the top 5 soldiers to watch your six. Stay frosty while you read this list and make sure to have a good time on my website. Semper Fidelis to all our armed forces!
#5 - James Vega - Mass Effect 3
“Adrenaline’s better than oxygen any day.”
Theres a lot of Badasses in Mass Effect. But if you are in a serious SNAFU situation theres nothing better to save your behind than a trained Alliance Marine, and the fact that he is human and not an alien is cool too. James Vega has a Wise cracker attitude, a hot head, and a filthy mouth, and True to his name: I wouldnt trust him in Vegas Because he would probably rack up a bill on the slot machines if we hung out, and actually partied. And when James is in the zone he is a machine to be reckoned with as can be seen from the video above of his fighting skills he is no greenhorn and in fact I would say ranks HIGHEST on this list in terms of Marines Attitude as his Personal style represents “Semper Fidelis” to all our armed forces, in the USMC. So take your pick ok because Party animal or space soldier to save your life in the battlefield? Your Call. But just like shepherd says: “If your half as good as I think you are, then we need you alive.” That’s the truth on this situation ok dude
#4 - Tony DiNozo - NCIS
“We just have to stay alive long enough to not get dead.” - Season 7 , episode 1 “Truth or Consequences” (2009)
NCIS SPecial Agent Anthony DiNozzo is a truly two-sided agent if there ever was one dude. He is like all the things youd want in a good friend rolled into one, and is is both equal parts Funny guy to chill with, a prankster, a movie trivia master, a crack shot with pistols and smg’s, and Street Smart leader. At first he goes from a rookie but before you know it hes gibbs 2nd in command right hand agent. He might seem like a know-it-all,Wise guy, or a Prankster, but deep down he has what it takes to solve the case and get to the bottom of the facts of the situation. If there’s one guy who can take out perps and do it with a smile - it’s Tony Dinozzo!!! Warning To Fans: Just Dont get him talking about movies lol hell never shut up Haha just a lil gamer humor for the fans.
Bonus Quote:
Abby Sciuto: I am cooking up some awesomeness.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Awesome me!
#3 - Sargeant Johnson - Halo (WARNING:SPOILERS!!)
“”Oh, I know what the ladies like…” - Searge, Cocking a M247 Heavy Machine Gun (from Halo 2)
Just like Mass effect theres a lot of badasses in Halo. But one thing Halo fans know: is Everyone Dies. Even (SPOILERS!!!!!!!) Johnson, and he has some epic last words: “Go out with a bang!” Haha. Id Espext nothing less, from a true But He and chief lasted pretty much the whole series, from start to finish, and he’d been in countless battles, FACT Johnson even though he was black was augmented in the “ORION” Supersoldier project to defeat covenant soldiers, getting advanced augs and becoming a Spartan-I, Sure he doesnt have MJOLNIR armor like Chief but hell he doesnt need it If you see him in action you know the facts is that he can scope down any enemy soldier.!! Trivia Fact: Johnson was the first human to kill a member of the Covenant, AND he personally saw Truth’s death, making him the ONLY person to have witnessed both the begining and the end of the Human-Covenant war, in the WHOLE SERIES! In every possible way Johnson is a true hero, Maybe even a hero like Chief. And guess what, He is the kind of guy who has a kick-ass attitude, a rockin sense of humor, Not only would I like him to wathc my back on the battlefield - Hes the kind of dude who would be sick to share a cold beer with after wards in the barracks too And play some Foosball with the dudes at th ebase! Johnson is Chiefs Best Friend in the series, and Highly dangerous as a warrior, (even immune to the Flood) leader to his troops, and bad ass guy all around which is why he ranks #3 on my list.
#2 - Commander Jack Stryker - Tiberius Rising
(Thanks to DOEHIDE on DeviantArt for the fanart)
“They say a single bullet can change the course of history. Looks like they were right.” - Commander Stryker
The #2 soldier I would want on the battlefield would be my character Jack Stryker from Tiberius Rising. Stryker is a COmmander in the Specops and he is truly badass, basically me if I was a Spec Op soldier. He is an expert at martial arts, gun fighting, parkour, stealth missions, and explosives, and basically a king of the battlefield. He uses throwing knives, Desert Eagles, m4s, you name it to basically scope out the enemy soldiers for threats. Whether hes aiming down the barrel or just hipfiring Stryker always hits his mark. And if he doesnt, he has his two squad mates, the Irish tech-specialist Jenkins and Ramirez, the hot-headed Latino sniper, to bail him out if anything gets dicey. On top of that he also has his pet wolf, “Soap” (named after the CAll of Duty Character) who runs freely on the battlefield as free as a wolf under the moonlight would. With this tag team Stryker is basically a badass soldier and is world reknown as one of the most heroic Specops out there! Stryker is pretty evil, I wouldnt want to get on his bad side haha But he is still a good guy to his friends when he is chiling after missions like in the base and he smokes weed sometimes which is awesome too. Ramirez basically taught him how to smoke weed to stabalize his aim with a sniper scope for example. And those reasons are why Commander Jack Stryker would be my #2 chosen sidekick for the battlefield in a cool zombie apocalpyse becuase he could bring some badass firepower dude!
Check out my novel for more on Jack Stryker:
http://www.booksie.com/war_and_military/novel/parkourdude91/tiberius-rising/chapter/1
#1 - John Cena - WWE
“Hustle Loyalty and Respect.” - John Cena, Catchphrase
If there ever was an American icon and a hero, it would have to be John Cena. From his high flying slams to his awesome insults and jokes to his rhymes he spits on the mic: “Whether fighting or spitting, my discipline is unforgiving!” That’s right folks: John Cena is the one Marine who can truly understand the meaning of the words NEVER GIVE UP. Hell, he wears it on his sleeve - literally! (His cotton sports arm bands say NEVER GIVE UP on them if you look close) John Felix Anthony Cena is a real jack of all trades when it comes to all the coolest stuff. He’s been a wrestling superstar, rapper, TV personality, muscle car collector, bodybuilder, hell even a movie star in the 2006 movie The Marine (one of the BEST movies of all time) as well as the movie 12 Rounds. Just like me, John Cena knows that it’s cool to master a lot of things at once. That’s basically similar to how I’m a vlogger, gamer, writer, and a livestreamer all at once, except obviously less awesome then Cena haha. One day!Things I Love about cena? Well where to start lol. His sick ass style (Jorts, Rap Chains, Cool Ball Caps), his killer attitude, his sense of humor, his athleticism or his fighting skills? Man if you asked me to pick a favorite part of Cena, I couldnt lol. That’s because Cena is pretty much everything that is badass rolled into one! All around, Cena is a LEGEND! No matter if you hate him or like him he doesn’t care… He still will never give up! Because that’s just who he is dude.
His Marines Attitude (Never Give Up) is also extremely inspiring. Fact: In every single “I Quit” match, he has NEVER ONCE tapped out and he even beat Batista in a LEGENDARY almost 30 minute match! No matter what you throw at him, no matter how many haters are in the crowd, Cena will still keep kicking ass and never backs down! He is basically fearless from his time in the Marines and it shows. I like to watch his matches when I need some extra motivation dude.
What’s even better? Cena is a friggin gamer. Yea thats right you heard me lol. He actually plays Command and Conquer like all the time which I havent played but I heard its sick because he talks about it sometimes. But my point is on top of all that after all is said and done…after he picks himself up from the floor bloody from a fight in the ring, or on the battlefield as a Marine… At the end of the day Cena likes to just chill, pop back a few cold ones with the boys and pick up an XBox controller like the rest of us. Boys will be boys I guessAnd that’s why I’d want him in my squad. Hell he could be squad leader I’d be happy to take orders from him. If I ever went to Marine Boot Camp, I would basically want him to be there as my drill instructor because of his Marines Attitude. If our squad was lead by John Cena. We would never lose because we would never get up even if we got attacked by 200 Taliban soldiers at once, We would fight until the last man standing because we would never tap out on the battlefield. CENA IS THE #1 SOLDIER!!! Hell Yea Man!!!
So Jace just posted this on Twitter. I'm skimming it now, it's... autistic. Really autistic.
Quote:
From Commanders to FNG’s, Every Squaddie knows one thing: If your pinned down inside a warzone with bunch of losers on your team, your really FUBAR.
Thats why you want the top 5 soldiers to watch your six. Stay frosty while you read this list and make sure to have a good time on my website. Semper Fidelis to all our armed forces!#5 - James Vega - Mass Effect 3
“Adrenaline’s better than oxygen any day.”
Theres a lot of Badasses in Mass Effect. But if you are in a serious SNAFU situation theres nothing better to save your behind than a trained Alliance Marine, and the fact that he is human and not an alien is cool too. James Vega has a Wise cracker attitude, a hot head, and a filthy mouth, and True to his name: I wouldnt trust him in Vegas
Because he would probably rack up a bill on the slot machines if we hung out, and actually partied. And when James is in the zone he is a machine to be reckoned with as can be seen from the video above of his fighting skills he is no greenhorn and in fact I would say ranks HIGHEST on this list in terms of Marines Attitude as his Personal style represents “Semper Fidelis” to all our armed forces, in the USMC. So take your pick ok because Party animal or space soldier to save your life in the battlefield? Your Call. But just like shepherd says: “If your half as good as I think you are, then we need you alive.” That’s the truth on this situation ok dude#4 - Tony DiNozo - NCIS
“We just have to stay alive long enough to not get dead.” - Season 7 , episode 1 “Truth or Consequences” (2009)
NCIS SPecial Agent Anthony DiNozzo is a truly two-sided agent if there ever was one dude. He is like all the things youd want in a good friend rolled into one, and is is both equal parts Funny guy to chill with, a prankster, a movie trivia master, a crack shot with pistols and smg’s, and Street Smart leader. At first he goes from a rookie but before you know it hes gibbs 2nd in command right hand agent. He might seem like a know-it-all,Wise guy, or a Prankster, but deep down he has what it takes to solve the case and get to the bottom of the facts of the situation. If there’s one guy who can take out perps and do it with a smile - it’s Tony Dinozzo!!! Warning To Fans: Just Dont get him talking about movies lol hell never shut up
Haha just a lil gamer humor for the fans.Bonus Quote:
Abby Sciuto: I am cooking up some awesomeness.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Awesome me!
#3 - Sargeant Johnson - Halo (WARNING:SPOILERS!!)
“”Oh, I know what the ladies like…” - Searge, Cocking a M247 Heavy Machine Gun (from Halo 2)
Just like Mass effect theres a lot of badasses in Halo. But one thing Halo fans know: is Everyone Dies. Even (SPOILERS!!!!!!!) Johnson, and he has some epic last words: “Go out with a bang!” Haha. Id Espext nothing less, from a true But He and chief lasted pretty much the whole series, from start to finish, and he’d been in countless battles, FACT Johnson even though he was black was augmented in the “ORION” Supersoldier project to defeat covenant soldiers, getting advanced augs and becoming a Spartan-I, Sure he doesnt have MJOLNIR armor like Chief but hell he doesnt need it
If you see him in action you know the facts is that he can scope down any enemy soldier.!! Trivia Fact: Johnson was the first human to kill a member of the Covenant, AND he personally saw Truth’s death, making him the ONLY person to have witnessed both the begining and the end of the Human-Covenant war, in the WHOLE SERIES! In every possible way Johnson is a true hero, Maybe even a hero like Chief. And guess what, He is the kind of guy who has a kick-ass attitude, a rockin sense of humor, Not only would I like him to wathc my back on the battlefield - Hes the kind of dude who would be sick to share a cold beer with after wards in the barracks too And play some Foosball with the dudes at th ebase! Johnson is Chiefs Best Friend in the series, and Highly dangerous as a warrior, (even immune to the Flood) leader to his troops, and bad ass guy all around which is why he ranks #3 on my list.#2 - Commander Jack Stryker - Tiberius Rising
(Thanks to DOEHIDE on DeviantArt for the fanart)
“They say a single bullet can change the course of history. Looks like they were right.” - Commander Stryker
The #2 soldier I would want on the battlefield would be my character Jack Stryker from Tiberius Rising. Stryker is a COmmander in the Specops and he is truly badass, basically me if I was a Spec Op soldier. He is an expert at martial arts, gun fighting, parkour, stealth missions, and explosives, and basically a king of the battlefield. He uses throwing knives, Desert Eagles, m4s, you name it to basically scope out the enemy soldiers for threats. Whether hes aiming down the barrel or just hipfiring Stryker always hits his mark. And if he doesnt, he has his two squad mates, the Irish tech-specialist Jenkins and Ramirez, the hot-headed Latino sniper, to bail him out if anything gets dicey. On top of that he also has his pet wolf, “Soap” (named after the CAll of Duty Character) who runs freely on the battlefield as free as a wolf under the moonlight would. With this tag team Stryker is basically a badass soldier and is world reknown as one of the most heroic Specops out there! Stryker is pretty evil, I wouldnt want to get on his bad side haha
But he is still a good guy to his friends when he is chiling after missions like in the base and he smokes weed sometimes which is awesome too. Ramirez basically taught him how to smoke weed to stabalize his aim with a sniper scope for example. And those reasons are why Commander Jack Stryker would be my #2 chosen sidekick for the battlefield in a cool zombie apocalpyse becuase he could bring some badass firepower dude! Check out my novel for more on Jack Stryker:
http://www.booksie.com/war_and_military/novel/parkourdude91/tiberius-rising/chapter/1
#1 - John Cena - WWE
“Hustle Loyalty and Respect.” - John Cena, Catchphrase
If there ever was an American icon and a hero, it would have to be John Cena. From his high flying slams to his awesome insults and jokes to his rhymes he spits on the mic: “Whether fighting or spitting, my discipline is unforgiving!” That’s right folks: John Cena is the one Marine who can truly understand the meaning of the words NEVER GIVE UP. Hell, he wears it on his sleeve - literally! (His cotton sports arm bands say NEVER GIVE UP on them if you look close) John Felix Anthony Cena is a real jack of all trades when it comes to all the coolest stuff. He’s been a wrestling superstar, rapper, TV personality, muscle car collector, bodybuilder, hell even a movie star in the 2006 movie The Marine (one of the BEST movies of all time) as well as the movie 12 Rounds. Just like me, John Cena knows that it’s cool to master a lot of things at once. That’s basically similar to how I’m a vlogger, gamer, writer, and a livestreamer all at once, except obviously less awesome then Cena haha. One day!Things I Love about cena? Well where to start lol. His sick ass style (Jorts, Rap Chains, Cool Ball Caps), his killer attitude, his sense of humor, his athleticism or his fighting skills? Man if you asked me to pick a favorite part of Cena, I couldnt lol. That’s because Cena is pretty much everything that is badass rolled into one! All around, Cena is a LEGEND! No matter if you hate him or like him he doesn’t care… He still will never give up! Because that’s just who he is dude.
His Marines Attitude (Never Give Up) is also extremely inspiring. Fact: In every single “I Quit” match, he has NEVER ONCE tapped out and he even beat Batista in a LEGENDARY almost 30 minute match! No matter what you throw at him, no matter how many haters are in the crowd, Cena will still keep kicking ass and never backs down! He is basically fearless from his time in the Marines and it shows. I like to watch his matches when I need some extra motivation dude.
What’s even better? Cena is a friggin gamer. Yea thats right you heard me lol. He actually plays Command and Conquer like all the time which I havent played but I heard its sick because he talks about it sometimes. But my point is on top of all that after all is said and done…after he picks himself up from the floor bloody from a fight in the ring, or on the battlefield as a Marine… At the end of the day Cena likes to just chill, pop back a few cold ones with the boys and pick up an XBox controller like the rest of us. Boys will be boys I guess
And that’s why I’d want him in my squad. Hell he could be squad leader I’d be happy to take orders from him. If I ever went to Marine Boot Camp, I would basically want him to be there as my drill instructor because of his Marines Attitude. If our squad was lead by John Cena. We would never lose because we would never get up even if we got attacked by 200 Taliban soldiers at once, We would fight until the last man standing because we would never tap out on the battlefield. CENA IS THE #1 SOLDIER!!! Hell Yea Man!!!
These are all the guns a True American will ever need: 
